A Murderer's Heart (18 page)
Her breathing deepened.
Anne stayed silent, her brain grasping at nibbled straws.
Barbara spat, “My mother left me; killed herself when she realised what my father was doing to me. She didn’t save me, she betrayed me like all the others.
“I thought Amy was different, but she was just as weak as the rest. I thought she was my friend, but she didn’t want to stay. I kept her for a while then put her with the rest – somewhere she couldn’t hurt me anymore.
“The same would have happened to Jenny if she hadn’t gone away. It was such fun watching her squirm for so long. I should have killed her months ago but I was enjoying myself. Her brats weren’t any trouble – they came with me easily. It was wonderful to watch her agony.
“She’ll never suffer as much as I have though.”
Barbara’s voice had reached fever pitch.
She looked at Anne with new interest; the knife once more raised, ready for the assault.
“It’s too late for me now, you heard Meakin’s message, they’re on to me – I’m not going to prison or to some institution for the rest of my life. I know what dreadful places they are.
“
You
have to die,
you
betrayed me like the rest. I loved you so much but you never saw who I was. How could you listen to others and not me? I was the one who loved you most. Sam could never love you like I have.”
Barbara was advancing upon Anne, who could see her murderous heart through the startling grey eyes...see the twisted, gruesome pathways that beat throughout the torturous veins where the cruelty of her life had beaten her soul into submission, creating a monster.
How could she have missed it – not have seen the misery and madness beneath that serious veneer?
She sighed.
It was too late; she’d never listen to her now.
Anne backed away, gripped her side, feeling her body becoming weaker. There was nobody to help.
A thought struck her.
And if she could just keep her talking, help might come in time?
“What did you mean before? Sam and I are just friends. You know it can’t be anything more,” Anne whispered.
“Anne, you are so blind. Or are you just stupid? You call yourself a professional and yet you can’t see or hear what is so plain to everyone else.”
She continued to move toward her.
Anne was confused and felt like she was seeing everything through fog and felt weak, as if she could sleep for at least a year.
She took a step back, her legs feeling like she was wading through treacle.
She knew Barbara was past any reasoning and that she needed to get away, but stayed put, as if glued to the floor.
Barbara moved around the desk slowly, as if enjoying Anne’s final struggle.
She somehow managed to back into the window.
There was nowhere to go.
She knew she was going to die.
Suddenly, Barbara ran forward screaming, the knife raised ready in her hands.
Anne felt her body slacken and fell to the floor. Her head crunched as she hit the corner of the bookshelf.
As Barbara lunged, something pushed against her; a force so great it compelled her body into the window, smashing it instantly.
She looked in surprise at the shard of glass piercing her heart.
A pain she knew so well.
Her eyes closed, the knife still gripped in her hand.
{22}
Sam was sitting next to the hospital bed watching Anne as she slept.
The wound in her side would heal as good as new.
Luckily, the knife hadn’t caught anything vital. She had lost a lot of blood, but a drip in her arm was rectifying that.
The doctors were optimistic.
Though, she’d have a massive headache when she woke.
Inspector Meakin joined Sam in the room.
He spoke quietly.
“She’ll be okay, I hear. The doctor tells me that she should be out of here in a few days. There’s going to be an Inquest but the case is straightforward. With Anne’s testimony, there’ll be no doubt to who was responsible for so much killing.”
“Anne would say that Barbara was as much of a victim as those she killed.”
Sam looked down upon the sleeping face.
“When are you going to tell her about your sister and why you came here?” Meakin asked.
“When she’s strong enough. I feel terrible about all the lies I’ve told, but it was essential, you know that. I just hope she’ll understand.”
Sam looked worried as he looked at Meakin.
The Inspector was sympathetic.
Looking steadily at Sam he said, “The truth is an elusive entity, always a matter of interpretation. However, knowing you both like I do, you’ll explain it well and she will grasp it willingly.”
He turned to leave.
“I hope you’re right, Inspector. I’ll be seeing you.”
Sam smiled weakly.
“Goodbye. Please call if there’s anything I can do. They’ll be no need for Doctor Blake to attend the Inquest; someone is coming to talk to her tomorrow. The doctor told me she should be strong enough. Her statement will be read to the court. ”
Meakin walked out of the room.
******
Sam brought Anne home a few days later.
The warmth of summer had held, but it looked like autumn would soon be on its way.
Anne wanted to go straight to her garden room so Sam helped her to the sofa, and then opened the double doors.
The scent was intoxicating.
Anne looked out into the garden; feeling she never wanted to leave it again.
Her patients had been transferred temporarily to other doctors – she would need to recuperate.
After Sam had brought her a cool drink, he joined her on the sofa. She thanked him and sipped it gratefully, then put the glass down on the table beside her.
In companionable silence they watched the surrounding wildlife.
Her voice quiet, Anne asked, “Do you have anything to tell me?”
She continued to look straight ahead; the butterflies were giving a magnificent floorshow. Their fluttering wings danced before them in a patchwork of moving colour.
Anne waited for his answer.
Sam sighed then spoke haltingly, afraid of her reaction.
“Eight months ago,” he began, “my sister was found murdered. She’d been dumped like a piece of rubbish on some waste ground and been hidden amongst a pile of debris. She’d been stabbed. She was found wrapped in a piece of polythene; it was very similar to Amy’s case, actually.”
He paused, thinking of the day before.
He’d attended the Inquest and had heard Barbara’s confessions through Anne’s statement. It went as easy as Meakin had said – the court had found Barbara guilty by reason of insanity. Though nobody would deny the relief they felt that she was dead. Maybe now the families could move on with their lives?
He looked back at Anne.
Sam swallowed, now eager to finish his declaration.
“My sister and I only had each other after our parents died in a car crash. Unfortunately, Christine couldn’t come to terms with what had happened – she was in the car at the time. Our doctor suggested she talk to a psychiatrist – hoping it would help her lay our parents’ ghosts to rest. She always felt so guilty about surviving. Our doctor recommended Tadmore. She moved here to be admitted. I stayed at the family home – my work was important to me. If only I’d….” he paused then continued, “Anyway, two weeks later, her body was found. I was devastated – she was the only family I had left. I closed the house, took a leave of absence from work and came here. I’d found out that you were her assigned doctor.”
“I’m sorry, Sam, I don’t remember her,” Anne responded.
He looked so sad.
“That’s because you never met her. She may have been assigned to you but for some reason she was switched to see someone else. Meakin told me that the old files show that Barbara must have altered the records. A copy of the original file was located elsewhere...Barbara must have forgotten about it. She obviously didn’t want you to take her on. She was obsessed with you, wanted you all to herself. Meakin believes Barbara lured my sister somewhere and tortured her – there was evidence of this on her body. I know Barbara was sick, but I found great pleasure in watching her die. If I hadn’t pushed her away from you, she would have killed you too.”
His voice broke; he turned and took hold of Anne’s hand.
“I found out where you lived, I knew you had to be involved – there was something strange about why she had never met you. I had to find out why her doctor had been changed – though Christine only saw him twice. Somehow Barbara must have convinced Christine to leave – her signature is on a release form. Her doctor wouldn’t have suspected anything if they thought she was going to be an outpatient – it wasn’t serious enough to keep her there. I was going to visit – but it was too late, she was already dead. She was so small and vulnerable. I should have been there to protect her.”
Anne interrupted.
“You know, I think that’s one of the reasons Barbara killed her – her vulnerability. She seemed to hate any weakness. I think it’s because she tried to cope with what had happened to her – what her father had done. She had to be strong, so why couldn’t others? That, coupled with her obsession for me, tipped her over the edge. I blame myself too – why didn’t I listen closer, why didn’t I know?”
“Because you weren’t looking for it – that can only be the answer. We don’t always see what is in front of us. We so often miss what our family and friends might be going through – it must be because we are too close. You can’t blame yourself – it could happen to any of us, it doesn’t matter if you’re trained or not. Barbara was very sick and your training must tell you how well psychotics can hide their illness.”
He looked directly into her eyes, willing her to see the truth.
Anne sighed.
“Yes, I do see. But it’s all so sad and terrible. We’re all victims of life. What Barbara’s father did to her was appalling, but nobody took the time to listen. We all know the consequences – all those poor people dead.”
Sam still hadn’t let go of her hand.
She looked at him with a question in her eyes.
“Did you meet me in Genelli’s on purpose?”
Her voice was trembling slightly.
Sam hesitated, then nodded saying, “I watched your routine and waited for you – I knew eventually we’d meet. We became friends; you’re easy to like. But I couldn’t tell you why I was here, I wasn’t sure of anyone. It seemed natural to take up your offer of a job, and anyway it was a means of finding out about your contacts. I grasped at anything that would give me a clue to my sister’s death. I never planned for things to turn out this way.”
Sam stared deep into her eyes.
She could feel her heart pumping wildly in her head.
This didn’t make sense.
“What do you mean, Sam?” she ventured, not believing what she wanted to be the truth.
Sam grabbed her other hand and leaned closer.
“Anne, there’s something important I have to say. Listen….well um, to put it plainly; if you don’t already know, I’m not gay! I only told you that so things wouldn’t become complicated. I’d come to investigate my sister’s death; I didn’t want any distractions. But it was no good; I fell in love with you anyway. I tried to fight it but I couldn’t resist.”
He reached over to caress her face.
“Please say you forgive me for lying to you. I wanted to tell you but I couldn’t find the right moment. Then you had all that worry with Jenny and the girls – I just didn’t know what to do. Meakin found out quite soon – he’s a brilliant police officer, you know. I asked him to let me tell you in my own time. That time is now – please Anne, say something.”
Sam’s face was pleading with her for understanding and forgiveness, his eyes luminous with his love for her.
How could she resist?
Anne started to laugh; the birds in the garden took flight at the sudden noise.
“I was so confused. I had these feelings for you, while I knew it could never be. Part of me is angry and sorry that you couldn’t trust me but I can understand your motives. Barbara knew; she told me how blind I was. I think that may have goaded her even more – I’d told her you were coming over. It’s feasible I’m in the wrong profession?”
Sam smiled; maybe everything would be fine?
“Of course you’re not. I’ve seen you with your patients. You have so much compassion – they trust you. It may be that you trust others a little too much. You always see the good side of them. You must never change; it’s one of the reasons I love you. Does this mean you forgive me...that you feel the same way?”
Anne said nothing.
He learned towards her and gently kissed her lips.
