A Memory Away (7 page)
Authors: Taylor Lewis
Tags: #Gay & Lesbian, #Literature & Fiction, #Fiction, #Gay, #Romance, #Contemporary, #Gay Romance, #Genre Fiction, #Romantic Comedy
“Oh my God,” said
Kyle faintly, “Please tell me you’re kidding.” He narrowed his eyes accusingly. “I thought you had to pass some kind of psychological test to be a cop? Did you cheat?”
A shadow passed across
Jonah’s face but before he could retort his name was called from over by the door. He turned in his seat and saw Danny Lee approaching them with a wide grin. “Goldman, I thought it was you.” He glanced at Kyle and then nodded down to his colleague. “What are you doing around here? I thought your place was across town?”
“Yeah,”
Jonah indicated Kyle. “Just meeting a friend for coffee.” Not liking the way Danny glanced at Kyle with an absent smile and then lingered, looking faintly puzzled, he didn’t bother offering an introduction. “What about you?”
“Huh?”
Danny looked away from Kyle and then back again with a frown. “I live just down the street. Thought I’d better get some groceries in before heading home. I’m sorry, have we met? You look really familiar.”
Kyle
looked up from where he had been politely studying his hands whilst the two friends talked and shook his head. “No I don’t think so.” He smiled vaguely. “I have a shop just round the corner, maybe you’ve seen me on the street?”
“Yeah, maybe.”
Danny, unconvinced, looked from Jonah to Kyle. “Don’t think that’s it.” He stared harder at Kyle, obviously searching his memory for where he had seen him before and making the younger man squirm uncomfortably in his seat.
“Dude,” said
Jonah in exasperation when Danny didn’t say anything else and continued to stare. “Sorta in the middle of something here.”
“What? Oh. Right.” With one more searching look at
Kyle, Danny shrugged off his curiosity and said comfortably, “It’ll come to me.” He clapped a hand to Jonah’s shoulder in farewell. “Catch you later, man.” He nodded at Kyle and then turned away to resume his shopping.
Kyle
watched him leave and then looked at Jonah. “I take it he’s a friend of yours?”
Laughing
Jonah said, “Only when I’m desperate. He works with me and Lopez and we hang out sometimes. Football and clubbing that kinda thing. Whoa, you okay?” He leapt up when Kyle choked on a sip of the fresh tea he had ordered and spat it all over the table. “Kyle?”
Kyle
waved him away, spluttering and eyes tearing up as he realised where Danny had recognised him from. “Fine!” He grabbed a napkin from the table and mopped at his face and shirt front. “I’m fine.” His eyes darted over to where Danny was chatting over the counter to Mrs Abretti as she weighed out some cheese and he forced a smile up at Jonah. “Sorry, I didn’t realise it was so late. I have to go.”
“Okay?”
Jonah said with a confused look. “You sure you’re alright?”
Kyle
didn’t dare look over at Danny to see if he was still watching them and instead stood up, gathering his bag up and slinging it onto his shoulder. “Yes, fine, honestly. I should really just get home.” He couldn’t believe his luck – what were the chances of the guy that hadn’t fucked him almost boneless recognising him instead of the one that
had
? He gestured to the door. “Do you want to walk back to our cars together?”
“Yeah, sure.”
Jonah laughed low in his throat as Kyle shoved past him and all but sprinted for the door. “I’ll say one thing for you, Gerritsen, you’re never boring.” His eyes dropped and fixed on the seat of Kyle’s pants and he shrugged to himself. “Okay, two things. You’ve got a
great
ass. Now all I’ve got to do is keep it in one place long enough to get my hands on it.”
~*~*~*~
Jonah was sprawled comfortably on his sofa later that night clutching a beer and idly watching a repeat of an old football game on TV when his phone beeped indicating he had received a text. He rolled his head to the side and eyed his phone where it sat on the kitchen counter and considered leaving it till morning. He was warm, he was comfortable and he was half hard from further absent contemplation of Kyle’s ass and exactly what he was going to do to it when he got the other man where he wanted him. All he really wanted to do was finish his drink and jerk off before going to bed. He sipped at his beer and then sighed, getting to his feet resentfully before stalking across the room to snatch up the phone. This had better be good.
You fucking HOUND!
The text on his screen read.
Thought you didn’t do repeat hook-ups?
You sure he’s legal this time!?
Jonah
stared, confused, and then cleared the screen and hit his contacts list until Danny Lee’s name came up. “Lee, what the fuck are you talking about?”
Twenty minutes later he was out the door and the bottle of beer was lying s
mashed on the kitchen floor, its contents dripping down the wall.
~*~*~*~
Kyle nearly jumped out of his skin when pounding sounded against his front door. He had just been gathering up the last of Shea’s toys and tidying them away before heading up to bed and the noise sounded ridiculously loud in the silence of the otherwise sleeping house. He stared at the door for a hesitant moment and then all but leapt across the room when the pounding started again. He pressed his eye to the peep hole and jerked back in surprise when he saw Jonah on the other side. What on
earth
?
“
Gerritsen, I can fucking see your shadow blocking the light, so if you don’t want me kicking down your door and waking the whole damn street then you’re gonna get your ass out here.” Jonah’s voice growled ominously through the door. “I’m not fucking kidding here.” Kyle felt an ice cold shiver of pure fear go down his spine and his hands curled into claws where they still rested against the panel of the door. He snatched his hands away when Jonah punched the door on the other side. “Open this fucking door, you little bastard.”
“
Jonah,” Kyle had to swallow to lubricate his fear dry throat when his voice only emerged as a weak croak. “Jonah, it’s late....”
“Now,
Gerritsen, or I swear to God I’m kicking this door down in the next five seconds.” Jonah’s voice was harsh with rage and he seemed to have no problem in making himself heard. “One, two....”
Kyle
scrabbled for the latch, aware of Louise sleeping peacefully downstairs in her basement room and of Shea in his little room at the top of the stairs. “Alright, alright!” His fingers slipped on the catch on his first try and he had to wipe his hand off on his baggy sleep pants before he managed to get the door open. “Jonah, I....” He gave a shrill cry as one large fist closed on his t-shirt and yanked him out barefoot onto his little front stoop.
Jonah
ignored his captive struggling to free himself as he reached past Kyle to put the door on the latch and then pulled it closed. As soon as the door was shut he slammed Kyle painfully into the wall of the house and snarled, “Take your shirt off.”
“Wh...what?”
Kyle stared, terrified, up at Jonah. His normally handsome face was made ugly by the fury there and Kyle tried to bring his hands up to push against his chest and shove him away. “Stop it, what are you doing?” He cried out again when Jonah yanked him forward and then slammed him back in place against the wall. “You’re hurting me!”
Actually shaking with rage,
Jonah fisted both of his hands tighter in the loose cotton of Kyle’s t-shirt and pulled him up so high on his toes that he was in danger of leaving the floor altogether. “Take. Your. Fucking. Shirt. Off.”
“No!”
Kyle tried to twist away and gasped as Jonah allowed the movement and then kept pushing him until he was face forward against the wall with one arm twisted up behind his back. His eyes darted to the side when Jonah’s other hand slammed into the wall beside his head – complete with handcuffs dangling from his fingers.
“We’re doing this with handcuffs or without them but we
are
fucking doing this.” Jonah pulled Kyle’s arm a little higher up his back, forcing him up onto his toes again to escape the pressure. “I’m going to let you go and you are going to fucking stay put and lift your damn shirt up or I promise you I am knocking you down and cuffing you so tight you won’t be able to fucking breathe, you got me?”
“Ye..yes.”
Kyle moaned in pain when his arm was yanked painfully again. “Yes, alright! I won’t move.” He started to shake when he was abruptly released and then jumped when the hem of his t-shirt was grabbed and yanked up without waiting for him to do it himself. He stayed still, shivering with reaction to the rough treatment and his fear of this new, terrifying Jonah. When the pad of one finger touched his birthmark almost gently his knees buckled and he sagged against the wall in understanding. Jonah’s friend had remembered him and said something to Jonah. His t-shirt dropped back into place and he felt Jonah step away from him, but he was too scared to turn around and face him. He squeezed his eyes shut and pressed harder against the wall, his throat constricting with trapped sobs.
“I thought I was losing my fucking mind.”
Jonah stared at Kyle’s back as though he could still see through the cotton to the birthmark underneath. “I kept fucking dreaming of you every night and I thought I was losing my fucking mind.” He reached out and grabbed Kyle’s shoulder, pulling him around and holding him back against the wall when he tried to shy away. Catching his chin between thumb and forefinger he ordered, “Look at me.
Look
at me.” He waited until Kyle’s eyes opened to stare up at him fearfully and said harshly, “Did it happen? Do you remember me?”
Kyle
nodded as best he could in Jonah’s hard grip and blinked rapidly to clear his eyes of scared tears.
“Why the hell didn’t you say
something?” Jonah was still shaking with anger, his fingers clutching and releasing against Kyle’s white skin. “Why did you act like you didn’t know me?”
“I...I didn’t.”
Kyle blinked again, wincing when Jonah’s grip tightened and the tears finally started to escape the corner of his eyes. “Not at first. Your hair was different then, not completely shaven like it is now and it was dark. Megan recognised you before I did and by the time you came into the office it was too late, I couldn’t avoid you.” He couldn’t help closing his eyes again as he whispered, “You didn’t recognise me either. Not any of the times you saw me since.
Jonah
jerked back and then scowled. “Yeah, you ever think there might be a reason for that?” He jerked Kyle’s chin again, saying furiously, “You open your eyes, dammit. You fucking look me in the eye for this.”
Kyle
made a helpless noise in his throat and obediently forced his eyes open. “I’m sorry, okay? I’m so sorry. I just....” His hands pressed futilely at Jonah’s immovable chest again. “I was scared. I’m sorry.”
“What the fuck did you have to be scared of?”
Jonah stared at him in angry bewilderment. “Did I do something you didn’t like? Hurt you?” He yanked Kyle’s chin up when he tried to twist his head away and made him keep looking into his eyes. “Gerritsen, what the fuck did I do to you that you were scared of me?”
“Nothing,”
Kyle gasped, trying to breathe through the tears clogging his throat and the frantic pounding of his heart. “You know you didn’t hurt me.” His shaking worsened as he tried to find the words to explain. “You didn’t hurt me, but I th...thought I’d never see you again and then you were there and....” He broke off, his voice failing him, mouthing pitifully, “I’m sorry.”
Jonah
stared at him, a small part of his mind protesting at the way he was behaving, but he was still too furious at being played for a fool to pay attention to it. He frowned, thinking back to the first time he had seen Kyle – the first time he had
thought
he was seeing Kyle anyway – and saw him again standing in his office, face pale and shocked and that damn photo frame clutched to his chest. His fingers slackened against Kyle’s jaw and then fell away as he remembered the theory that he and Lopez had worked under for a brief time. Kyle had been hiding something because he was afraid of them finding out about his condition – and afraid of them finding out about his son.
Jonah
took a sudden step back and releasing Kyle altogether, watching when the smaller man sagged and then curled away from him, trying to hide his face from Jonah’s gaze. He swallowed hard, his throat clicking dryly as his mind raced and then he said slowly, “You weren’t scared for you.” Kyle’s head snapped up and he watched Jonah fearfully, evidently expecting another attack any moment. “You weren’t afraid for yourself.” His forehead furrowed as he tried to wrap his mind around the only other possible conclusion. “You were scared for your kid. It was Shea you were scared for.”
Kyle
stared mutely at him and pressed back against the wall, looking small and hunted in the light from the streetlamps.
Felling like he was oddly detached from reality and as though his voice was coming from far away,
Jonah said in a hoarse whisper, “Who’s Shea’s father?” He ignored the cry of alarm from Kyle when he stepped close again and this time pinned him almost gently back against the wall. His hands tightened past the point of pain on Kyle’s shoulders as he repeated urgently, “Gerritsen, who the hell fathered your kid?”
Kyle faintly, “Please tell me you’re kidding.” He narrowed his eyes accusingly. “I thought you had to pass some kind of psychological test to be a cop? Did you cheat?”
A shadow passed across
Jonah’s face but before he could retort his name was called from over by the door. He turned in his seat and saw Danny Lee approaching them with a wide grin. “Goldman, I thought it was you.” He glanced at Kyle and then nodded down to his colleague. “What are you doing around here? I thought your place was across town?”
“Yeah,”
Jonah indicated Kyle. “Just meeting a friend for coffee.” Not liking the way Danny glanced at Kyle with an absent smile and then lingered, looking faintly puzzled, he didn’t bother offering an introduction. “What about you?”
“Huh?”
Danny looked away from Kyle and then back again with a frown. “I live just down the street. Thought I’d better get some groceries in before heading home. I’m sorry, have we met? You look really familiar.”
Kyle
looked up from where he had been politely studying his hands whilst the two friends talked and shook his head. “No I don’t think so.” He smiled vaguely. “I have a shop just round the corner, maybe you’ve seen me on the street?”
“Yeah, maybe.”
Danny, unconvinced, looked from Jonah to Kyle. “Don’t think that’s it.” He stared harder at Kyle, obviously searching his memory for where he had seen him before and making the younger man squirm uncomfortably in his seat.
“Dude,” said
Jonah in exasperation when Danny didn’t say anything else and continued to stare. “Sorta in the middle of something here.”
“What? Oh. Right.” With one more searching look at
Kyle, Danny shrugged off his curiosity and said comfortably, “It’ll come to me.” He clapped a hand to Jonah’s shoulder in farewell. “Catch you later, man.” He nodded at Kyle and then turned away to resume his shopping.
Kyle
watched him leave and then looked at Jonah. “I take it he’s a friend of yours?”
Laughing
Jonah said, “Only when I’m desperate. He works with me and Lopez and we hang out sometimes. Football and clubbing that kinda thing. Whoa, you okay?” He leapt up when Kyle choked on a sip of the fresh tea he had ordered and spat it all over the table. “Kyle?”
Kyle
waved him away, spluttering and eyes tearing up as he realised where Danny had recognised him from. “Fine!” He grabbed a napkin from the table and mopped at his face and shirt front. “I’m fine.” His eyes darted over to where Danny was chatting over the counter to Mrs Abretti as she weighed out some cheese and he forced a smile up at Jonah. “Sorry, I didn’t realise it was so late. I have to go.”
“Okay?”
Jonah said with a confused look. “You sure you’re alright?”
Kyle
didn’t dare look over at Danny to see if he was still watching them and instead stood up, gathering his bag up and slinging it onto his shoulder. “Yes, fine, honestly. I should really just get home.” He couldn’t believe his luck – what were the chances of the guy that hadn’t fucked him almost boneless recognising him instead of the one that
had
? He gestured to the door. “Do you want to walk back to our cars together?”
“Yeah, sure.”
Jonah laughed low in his throat as Kyle shoved past him and all but sprinted for the door. “I’ll say one thing for you, Gerritsen, you’re never boring.” His eyes dropped and fixed on the seat of Kyle’s pants and he shrugged to himself. “Okay, two things. You’ve got a
great
ass. Now all I’ve got to do is keep it in one place long enough to get my hands on it.”
~*~*~*~
Jonah was sprawled comfortably on his sofa later that night clutching a beer and idly watching a repeat of an old football game on TV when his phone beeped indicating he had received a text. He rolled his head to the side and eyed his phone where it sat on the kitchen counter and considered leaving it till morning. He was warm, he was comfortable and he was half hard from further absent contemplation of Kyle’s ass and exactly what he was going to do to it when he got the other man where he wanted him. All he really wanted to do was finish his drink and jerk off before going to bed. He sipped at his beer and then sighed, getting to his feet resentfully before stalking across the room to snatch up the phone. This had better be good.
You fucking HOUND!
The text on his screen read.
Thought you didn’t do repeat hook-ups?
You sure he’s legal this time!?
Jonah
stared, confused, and then cleared the screen and hit his contacts list until Danny Lee’s name came up. “Lee, what the fuck are you talking about?”
Twenty minutes later he was out the door and the bottle of beer was lying s
mashed on the kitchen floor, its contents dripping down the wall.
~*~*~*~
Kyle nearly jumped out of his skin when pounding sounded against his front door. He had just been gathering up the last of Shea’s toys and tidying them away before heading up to bed and the noise sounded ridiculously loud in the silence of the otherwise sleeping house. He stared at the door for a hesitant moment and then all but leapt across the room when the pounding started again. He pressed his eye to the peep hole and jerked back in surprise when he saw Jonah on the other side. What on
earth
?
“
Gerritsen, I can fucking see your shadow blocking the light, so if you don’t want me kicking down your door and waking the whole damn street then you’re gonna get your ass out here.” Jonah’s voice growled ominously through the door. “I’m not fucking kidding here.” Kyle felt an ice cold shiver of pure fear go down his spine and his hands curled into claws where they still rested against the panel of the door. He snatched his hands away when Jonah punched the door on the other side. “Open this fucking door, you little bastard.”
“
Jonah,” Kyle had to swallow to lubricate his fear dry throat when his voice only emerged as a weak croak. “Jonah, it’s late....”
“Now,
Gerritsen, or I swear to God I’m kicking this door down in the next five seconds.” Jonah’s voice was harsh with rage and he seemed to have no problem in making himself heard. “One, two....”
Kyle
scrabbled for the latch, aware of Louise sleeping peacefully downstairs in her basement room and of Shea in his little room at the top of the stairs. “Alright, alright!” His fingers slipped on the catch on his first try and he had to wipe his hand off on his baggy sleep pants before he managed to get the door open. “Jonah, I....” He gave a shrill cry as one large fist closed on his t-shirt and yanked him out barefoot onto his little front stoop.
Jonah
ignored his captive struggling to free himself as he reached past Kyle to put the door on the latch and then pulled it closed. As soon as the door was shut he slammed Kyle painfully into the wall of the house and snarled, “Take your shirt off.”
“Wh...what?”
Kyle stared, terrified, up at Jonah. His normally handsome face was made ugly by the fury there and Kyle tried to bring his hands up to push against his chest and shove him away. “Stop it, what are you doing?” He cried out again when Jonah yanked him forward and then slammed him back in place against the wall. “You’re hurting me!”
Actually shaking with rage,
Jonah fisted both of his hands tighter in the loose cotton of Kyle’s t-shirt and pulled him up so high on his toes that he was in danger of leaving the floor altogether. “Take. Your. Fucking. Shirt. Off.”
“No!”
Kyle tried to twist away and gasped as Jonah allowed the movement and then kept pushing him until he was face forward against the wall with one arm twisted up behind his back. His eyes darted to the side when Jonah’s other hand slammed into the wall beside his head – complete with handcuffs dangling from his fingers.
“We’re doing this with handcuffs or without them but we
are
fucking doing this.” Jonah pulled Kyle’s arm a little higher up his back, forcing him up onto his toes again to escape the pressure. “I’m going to let you go and you are going to fucking stay put and lift your damn shirt up or I promise you I am knocking you down and cuffing you so tight you won’t be able to fucking breathe, you got me?”
“Ye..yes.”
Kyle moaned in pain when his arm was yanked painfully again. “Yes, alright! I won’t move.” He started to shake when he was abruptly released and then jumped when the hem of his t-shirt was grabbed and yanked up without waiting for him to do it himself. He stayed still, shivering with reaction to the rough treatment and his fear of this new, terrifying Jonah. When the pad of one finger touched his birthmark almost gently his knees buckled and he sagged against the wall in understanding. Jonah’s friend had remembered him and said something to Jonah. His t-shirt dropped back into place and he felt Jonah step away from him, but he was too scared to turn around and face him. He squeezed his eyes shut and pressed harder against the wall, his throat constricting with trapped sobs.
“I thought I was losing my fucking mind.”
Jonah stared at Kyle’s back as though he could still see through the cotton to the birthmark underneath. “I kept fucking dreaming of you every night and I thought I was losing my fucking mind.” He reached out and grabbed Kyle’s shoulder, pulling him around and holding him back against the wall when he tried to shy away. Catching his chin between thumb and forefinger he ordered, “Look at me.
Look
at me.” He waited until Kyle’s eyes opened to stare up at him fearfully and said harshly, “Did it happen? Do you remember me?”
Kyle
nodded as best he could in Jonah’s hard grip and blinked rapidly to clear his eyes of scared tears.
“Why the hell didn’t you say
something?” Jonah was still shaking with anger, his fingers clutching and releasing against Kyle’s white skin. “Why did you act like you didn’t know me?”
“I...I didn’t.”
Kyle blinked again, wincing when Jonah’s grip tightened and the tears finally started to escape the corner of his eyes. “Not at first. Your hair was different then, not completely shaven like it is now and it was dark. Megan recognised you before I did and by the time you came into the office it was too late, I couldn’t avoid you.” He couldn’t help closing his eyes again as he whispered, “You didn’t recognise me either. Not any of the times you saw me since.
Jonah
jerked back and then scowled. “Yeah, you ever think there might be a reason for that?” He jerked Kyle’s chin again, saying furiously, “You open your eyes, dammit. You fucking look me in the eye for this.”
Kyle
made a helpless noise in his throat and obediently forced his eyes open. “I’m sorry, okay? I’m so sorry. I just....” His hands pressed futilely at Jonah’s immovable chest again. “I was scared. I’m sorry.”
“What the fuck did you have to be scared of?”
Jonah stared at him in angry bewilderment. “Did I do something you didn’t like? Hurt you?” He yanked Kyle’s chin up when he tried to twist his head away and made him keep looking into his eyes. “Gerritsen, what the fuck did I do to you that you were scared of me?”
“Nothing,”
Kyle gasped, trying to breathe through the tears clogging his throat and the frantic pounding of his heart. “You know you didn’t hurt me.” His shaking worsened as he tried to find the words to explain. “You didn’t hurt me, but I th...thought I’d never see you again and then you were there and....” He broke off, his voice failing him, mouthing pitifully, “I’m sorry.”
Jonah
stared at him, a small part of his mind protesting at the way he was behaving, but he was still too furious at being played for a fool to pay attention to it. He frowned, thinking back to the first time he had seen Kyle – the first time he had
thought
he was seeing Kyle anyway – and saw him again standing in his office, face pale and shocked and that damn photo frame clutched to his chest. His fingers slackened against Kyle’s jaw and then fell away as he remembered the theory that he and Lopez had worked under for a brief time. Kyle had been hiding something because he was afraid of them finding out about his condition – and afraid of them finding out about his son.
Jonah
took a sudden step back and releasing Kyle altogether, watching when the smaller man sagged and then curled away from him, trying to hide his face from Jonah’s gaze. He swallowed hard, his throat clicking dryly as his mind raced and then he said slowly, “You weren’t scared for you.” Kyle’s head snapped up and he watched Jonah fearfully, evidently expecting another attack any moment. “You weren’t afraid for yourself.” His forehead furrowed as he tried to wrap his mind around the only other possible conclusion. “You were scared for your kid. It was Shea you were scared for.”
Kyle
stared mutely at him and pressed back against the wall, looking small and hunted in the light from the streetlamps.
Felling like he was oddly detached from reality and as though his voice was coming from far away,
Jonah said in a hoarse whisper, “Who’s Shea’s father?” He ignored the cry of alarm from Kyle when he stepped close again and this time pinned him almost gently back against the wall. His hands tightened past the point of pain on Kyle’s shoulders as he repeated urgently, “Gerritsen, who the hell fathered your kid?”
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