A Matter of Honor (17 page)

Finally, sitting there in the dimness, her eyelids fluttered shut and she fell into a light doze. Sometime later sounds in the hall roused her and for a moment she could not get her bearings. Then she realized where she was and leaped hastily to her feet. Perhaps it was them!

Hurriedly she made her way to the door. Peering out, she saw that
Cecilie
and his lordship stood in the front hall. “Cecilie!” Aggie hurried toward her. “Are you all right?
Y
ou’re sure?”

Cecilie smiled. Aside from being a little mussed, she looked quite well. “Really, Aggie, I am f
i
ne. It was a wonderful trip. A bit chilly, perhaps, but Mr.
Sadler
gave me his jacket.” Here she cast a patronizing glance at his lordship. “And it was just
marvelous
looking down on everything. The houses were so very tiny.”

Suddenly Aggie realized that Cecilie was without the monkey. “Where is
Dillydums?”
she asked.

Cecilie’s
white forehead puckered in a frown. “One of the grooms has him. He didn’t like it in the carriage. But he loved it up in the balloon. You should go up sometime, Aggie, you really should.”

The Earl, whose face had grown increasingly more baleful through this recital, now broke in. “Miss
Trimble
will do no such thing,” he said gruffly. “The journey home has been long and tiring. I suggest you go to your room and rest before dinner.”

Cecilie’s face took on a strange expression, but her tone was demure enough. “Yes, milord,” she said and moved toward the stairs.

As Aggie turned to follow her, she felt a warm hand on her arm. The shivers that sped over her caused her to flush. “Just a minute
.
Miss
Trimble,”
said the Earl. “I wish a word with you.” He waited until
Cecilie
had disappeared from view. “We have got to do something,” he said harshly, “before this girl either kills herself or ruins her reputation completely.”

Aggie could only nod.

The Earl frowned and she felt her heart contracting. “If only she had not refused Connors. He could keep her in line.”

“I doubt that, milord.” Aggie spoke without thinking and was distressed to see his frown deepen.

“The girl needs a strong hand,” he said sternly. “She must be mastered.”

Sudden waves of fury poured over Aggie. How pigheaded could the man be? “Cecilie is not a horse,” she snapped. “She cannot be broken like one.”

“Neither can she be permitted to run loose through the city, leaving havoc in her wake,” he replied gruffly.

Aggie felt her anger rising. “I did not permit her to run loose,” she cried. “I did my very best to keep her in hand.
You
were the one who said she could go. Balloon flights indeed! You might know that
Cecilie
would get into mischief at such an event. And anyway
,
if you knew more about her, you would know that it was
you
who prevented her from accepting the Marquess.”

The Earl glared at her, his brows making the straight line that denoted his anger and his eyes flashing. “You’re talking nonsense,” he said harshly. “Utter nonsense. The girl was dead set against the man before he ever offered.”

Aggie was quivering with rage now. She was tired of taking the blame for everything. And, inexplicably, just at that moment, her mind presented her with a vivid picture of Lady
Alicia
gazing up at
Denby
with flattering eyes. “If you did not have such a good opinion of yourself as a man who can handle women,” she said boldly
,
“you might have considered asking for advice. Cecilie, thank God, is not deceived by your charming manners or your good looks. She cannot be flattered into acceding to your wishes.”

His frown deepened and he took a step closer. “Nor can she be bullied,” Aggie hurried to add, her heart rising up into her throat.

The Earl grabbed her arms and gazed down intently into her eyes. “Then Aggie
,
in the name of heaven, will you tell me how the girl
can
be handled - guided into a decent marriage?”

His eyes bored into hers and Aggie felt herself sinking into their depths. She almost forgot that they were quarreling. Suddenly she wanted to help him. “Sometimes...” Her voice faltered with the intensity of her emotions. “Sometimes I have gotten her to do what I wished by - by absolutely forbidding it. If you had a likely candidate, a
young
man,” she added, “you might get her to form a partiality for him by being very unkind to him and forbidding him to call.”

For more long moments he stared at her, his f
i
ngers biting into her arms, and then he laughed. It was not a pleasant sound. “Do you mean that in attempting to drive her
from
Parrington,
I may have been driving her
to
him?”

She nodded.

Anger flared into his eyes again and he shook her slightly. “Why didn’t you tell me this before?”

His anger caused hers to return. “You have not asked for the benef
i
t of my experience,” she reminded him icily. “Instead you have chosen to blame me for everything that goes wrong.”

His dark face hardened. “Perhaps I have,” he admitted
,
his voice in no way apologetic. “But then, perhaps I have had good cause.”

“You are absolutely hopeless,” Aggie cried, fanning her anger higher. That could not be hurt she had seen in his eyes just then. “You are so puffed up with your own importance that it is sickening.”

She almost cried aloud as he shook her again, more harshly. But still she glared at him def
i
antly. “I have spoken the truth,” she insisted. “And I am not sorry. You can’t bully me into submission.”

Something strange flickered momentarily in his eyes and to her surprise he relaxed his grip on her. She stepped quickly away from him, her hand seeking the banister for support. “Perhaps, milord, I should seek another position.” She regretted the words as soon as they left her mouth
,
yet she knew the
rightness
of such an action.

The Earl’s face darkened further. His mouth settled into a line of grim determination and his eyes turned cold and hard as stone. “Perhaps you are right. After all, I
can
dismiss you any time I please, can’t I?” And his eyes raked her coldly.

Aggie fought the panic that threatened her as the idea of never seeing him again pressed itself sharply into her consciousness, but she managed to remain calm. “You needn’t bother to dismiss me,” she said curtly. “I’ll begin looking for another place tomorrow.”

“You may find it rather difficult,” he said harshly, his eyes veiled.

She looked at him sharply. “I don’t see why. I am a competent companion.”

The Earl’s mouth tightened cruelly. “I doubt that some indulgent papas would think so. After all, your charge has done some rather scatterbrained things, hasn’t she? That is hardly good advertisement for your proficiency.”

Aggie felt the scarlet flooding her cheeks. “I did not know that
Cecilie’s
escapades were public knowledge.” She managed to get the words out without stammering, but the threat behind his words was apparent.

His smile did nothing to put her at ease. “Perhaps they are not.” He grimaced. “I have certainly done everything humanly possible to prevent the wagging of tongues.” His eyes grew even colder. “However
,
it will be difficult to hush up the last matter. And besides that, there is the small matter of references.”

Aggie gasped as though she had been struck and her hand went unconsciously to her breast. “Do you mean to say
-”

His lordship nodded. His mouth set in a stubborn line, he shrugged his broad shoulders eloquently. “I must tell the truth, must I not?”

“You know very well
-”
Aggie began, but he silenced her with a hard look.

“Listen, Aggie
-”
He saw her wince in pain at the use of her given name and his eyes grew darker. “I will put the matter to you quite plainly. You are
Cecilie’s
companion. You will remain so until the girl is married and you collect your inheritance. I have decided that it will be this way.” His eyes moved over her angrily, leaving her trembling like an aspen in a storm. “I believe you know enough of the
ton
to understand the eff
i
cacy of a well-placed whisper.”

Aggie felt as though she had been slapped. “This
...”
she faltered. “This is blackmail, clear and simple. How dare you!” Her breasts heaved in indignation under the thin muslin gown. “How dare you do such a thing!”

“I am the Earl of
Denby.”
He said the words clearly, spacing them for effect. “I do as I please.” His eyes glinted cruelly. “The sooner you realize this
,
the better we shall deal together.”

She knew he was right. He had all the power, all the force of society was behind him. She was nothing - a poverty-stricken little companion, indebted to him for the very food she ate. “You would really ruin my life?”

A muscle twitched in the side of his jaw, but his tone was steady and his eyes remained hard and cold. “The choice is yours
.
Miss
Trimble.
Nothing need be ruined. Nothing at all.”

She dug her nails into her palms; the pain of it - clean physical pain - might help clear her head. “I seem to have no choice,” she said finally. “No choice at all.”

His eyes softened for a moment and he took a step toward her. “Aggie, it doesn’t have to be like this. I could
-”

“No thank you, milord.” She cut him off before he could finish his dishonorable offer. “Understand this. I will remain as
Cecilie’s
companion because I must. But I will run into the street penniless - and - and naked, before I consent to become anything to you!”

She saw the pain in his eyes before he could veil it, sharp and bitter as her pain had been, and she wondered again how he could imagine himself the injured party.

“I quite understand you,” he replied harshly, his eyes smoldering down at her. “My reasons for keeping you here have to do with
Cecilie
- nothing more.”

With the memory of his searing kisses still imprinted on her memory, she could not believe this. But it was safer to let it pass
,
safer not to discuss the thing further. “If that is all,” she said
,
her head still proudly high, “then I shall go up to
Cecilie.”

Denby
nodded. “That will do. I suppose it is futile to ask, but you might use whatever wiles you possess to convince the girl that young
Sadler
is not an eligible connection.” He ran his hand wearily through his hair and for the first time she noticed the dark shadows of fatigue under his eyes.

“I will do what I can,” she said. “Cecilie is a very romantic young woman. Logic does not have much effect on her.”

His lordship laughed, loud and harshly. “As far as I can tell nothing sensible has much effect on her. She is a complete enigma to me.”

He bowed his head wearily and she was aware that he had probably not slept all night. “I’ll go to Cecilie and you can get some rest.” The words were out before she realized their implication.

His head snapped up and he looked at her sharply, as though surprised by her concern for him. “I’ll go to bed at bedtime,” he said. “I have an important dinner engagement.” He looked down at his soiled and dusty clothes. “And I have just time to wash and change.”

The little sympathy she had felt for him because of his fatigue vanished completely. She had a clear vision of Lady
Alicia
waiting somewhere in a little room, the small intimate table lit by candles, the scent of expensive perfume in the air, the lady in a gown that revealed all her charms. “I hope you enjoy your dinner,” she said sharply and marched out so swiftly that she did not see the look of startled curiosity on his face nor the way he stroked his dark chin
speculatively,
as though her words revealed to him something of inf
i
nite interest.

Chapter Twelve

The next day found them more or less settled back into their routine. Neither
Cecilie
nor
Dillydums
seemed any the worse for their flight. Indeed, Cecilie kept insisting that it had been great fun, a capital adventure. She took every opportunity to extol the pleasures of balloon flight to her companion.

Aggie nodded absently. Being very much a ground kind of person, she could not wax enthusiastic about hanging high above the city. Descriptions of tiny houses and people the size of ants left her cold. Besides, she found it diff
i
cult to erase from her mind that last scene with the Earl. If only there were some way she could leave this place. But he had made it clear that she could not, that to do so would mean being penniless and ruining any chance of her f
i
nding another position. She also puzzled over that look of pain in his eyes. It could not be accounted for; it seemed too deep and genuine to be caused merely by disappointed desire. But she could find nothing else to account for it.

She pondered over his strange behavior, trying not to recall the sinking sensation of submission that had overcome her in his arms. She must fight that with all her strength, she knew. For her mind insisted that to surrender to the Earl would mean eventual disaster. It was clear that he wanted her - as he had wanted her before, she told herself, yet more circumspectly then. But if he had suffered no qualms at leaving her then, when their love had been legitimate, how much easier it would be for him to dissolve an illegitimate union. Aggie knew well the ways of London’s bucks. They went from woman to woman as a bee goes from flower to flower, sipping the nectar and caring nothing for what they left behind. And she did not think she could stand having once known his love - no, she amended, his passion - and then being deserted. That would be the end of her reputation, her pride, her very life.