A Mate's Revenge (6 page)

She stood too, meeting him eye to eye. “How could I not?”

“All those years, Isa…”

Tears streamed down her cheeks, but she tilted her chin up stubbornly. “All those years you were safe and healthy and alive. I knew you wouldn’t understand.”

The back of Cael’s neck turned hot. He needed to shift. There was too much fury contained in his human body.

“Do you know what that did to me?”

“Yes! I know what that did to you,” she cried. “Did I ever, even one time look away during that forum? No. I watched your face, every feature. I saw the heartbreak. The betrayal. And I wished,
wished
, with everything in me that you would see I was lying. That you would just move on, knowing in your heart that I didn’t mean those awful things I said.”

Silence stretched between them like a thick sludge. Despite the avalanche of emotions piling on top of them, no words came. Just the breathing of lungs and the rapid beating of hearts and enough pain to fill an ocean. Would they ever be able to get this right?

“Please,” she whispered. “Say something.”

Cael shook his head. “I can’t think. I…” He glanced at the door. “I need to run.”

“Don’t go.”

“I need to think, and I can’t do that when I’m near you. Just… I’ll stay close.”

He was out the door before she could argue, the night air hitting him like a much needed punch. He and his wolf had some reckoning to do.

Besh hung her head, letting the tears fall where they may. She was so damn tired of crying. It was all she’d done for the past twenty-four hours. And even though Cael had taken her explanation badly, it felt good to get it all off her chest. Every minute she was away from Jax, another weight was lifted. Having everything out in the open was the biggest relief.

She dried her tears on the sleeve of her sweatshirt. He’d be back soon, and maybe they could talk more. Maybe he’d hear what she was really saying. Didn’t he understand that her choices were done for love? He’d have done the same to save her.

Besh busied herself by picking up the place. She put the peanut butter away and washed the spoon. She straightened the bedroom, returning the hiking boots to the closet. Then she returned to the living room to wait for Cael.

The fire was hypnotizing but it was her only source of company. She added another log before curling on the couch with a blanket. She closed her eyes for only a second, but it was enough to throw her into a nightmare.

Vesh cried from the corner while mother screamed. She threw a shoe at him, but missed. She made sure the second one made contact before turning her attention back to Besh.

“You’re disgusting,” she spat. “You have no reason to turn your nose up to him. You’re not better than him. He’s an elder and a good paying customer, you lazy excuse for a whore! You’ll do this, or I’ll make sure the whole pack knows what you are. Do you think any boy will desire you after the entire camp knows you fuck people for money?”

“You make me!” Besh cried, her chest burning with rage and humiliation. She tried not to look at her brother. She didn’t want to see how scared he was.

The back of mother’s hand smacked Besh’s face, sending her sprawling and her cheek bursting with a shot of pain.

Vesh’s small growl filled the room as he lunged at mother, but she grabbed him by the neck, forcing him to the ground. “Maybe he’d rather have you,” mother snarled. “Shall we see?”

“No,” Besh argued. “I’ll go. I’ll do it.” Vesh was still so young. She’d do anything to spare him this hell.

An evil grin spread mother’s face until she looked like a demon clown. “Too late, darling. Your brother will take your place. I’m sure our customer won’t mind. He might even prefer it. It’s time for Vesh to earn his way.”

Vesh shook his head. “No. No, mother, please.”

She faltered, seeming to reconsider. “Your sister then? It’s your choice. Time for you to be a man and make a decision.”

Vesh swallowed, glancing at Besh. She shook her head and mouthed, “I’ve got this.”

His face grew hard before he looked away to stare at the soil covered ground. “Me. I’ll go.”

“No, Vesh!”

Mother laughed. “Oh, this is fucking priceless. The little shit, trying to save the whore. Fine, then. Come.” She dragged him by the arm out of the room.

“No! No, no, no. Mother, noooooo!”

Besh woke on a mute gasp, her throat sore from screaming. She struggled against the hands that gripped her face until her eyes landed on Cael’s.

“Shh. It’s okay, you’re okay. Nothing can hurt you now.”

She drew in a breath, trying to stem her panic. It was a dream. A nightmare. But it was also a memory. She squeezed her eyes closed, breathing deep, but her heart still raced like the grim reaper was after it.

“Open your eyes, my Isa, and look at me,” he rasped.

She obeyed, taking in his strong, sure features.

“You’re safe.”

She nodded, trying hard to believe it.

“You’re safe,” he said again.

She flung herself at him and he caught her with arms that were both strong and tender. He was exactly what she needed. His hand stroked along her back and she let out a shaky breath, waiting for the anxiety to fade.

Besh stayed locked in Cael’s protective embrace. And he didn’t try to rush her either. The sun peeked through the living room window to tell her morning had come.

“I should take you to bed,” Cael murmured. Besh’s heart thumped faster at the implications. “You need as much sleep as possible.”

She shook her head. “I don’t want to go back to sleep right now.”

Cael nodded, carefully brushing the hair from her eyes. “I have another idea then. Go get your boots on.”

Besh frowned. “Uh, okay.”

“Jacket too.”

In the bedroom, she found the boots and laced them up, and grabbed the parka on her way out. When she got back to the living room, Cael sat on the couch carefully organizing a small arsenal of guns. There were small ones that would fit in Besh’s hand, and large ones she’d have to heft over her shoulder.

“What is this?”

He glanced up at her before spinning the barrel of a handgun and checking the sites. “I’m going to make you feel safer.” He set the gun on the table and walked over to her. In a gesture that left her shivering, he tenderly cradled her cheek. “I can’t do anything about your nightmares, but I can give you the power to feel safe when you’re awake. I’m going to teach you how to shoot.”

Besh frowned. “But I have my animal. I can always turn and let her fight if I’m in trouble.”

Cael shook his head. “It’s not enough. If it was, you wouldn’t feel the way you do. You’re wolf is a natural submissive, and that’s fine, but you won’t always have the power to stand up to what you fear.” His eyes dropped. “Last night, I backed down. But what would’ve happened if I hadn’t? Would you have held your ground?”

“I… don’t know. I think I would have fought.”

He nodded. “I think so too, but this way, you’ll feel like you can win. You won’t doubt yourself.”

Besh’s heart swelled. This was the sweetest thing anyone had ever done for her. He didn’t just want to make her feel safer; he wanted to give her the tools to do it herself. Before she could think better of it, she leaned forward and kissed him, only stopping when his lips stayed perfectly still.

Pulling back, she ducked her head. “Sorry. I wasn’t thinking. Just… thank you. This is a great idea.”

“You’re welcome.” His voice was strained, but Besh couldn’t look at him. “Let’s go.”

She stepped away and pulled on her jacket while Cael gathered the weapons and ammo. In the sunlight of morning, for the first time in a very long time, Besh felt like everything was going to be alright.

***

Fucking hell. That’s where Cael was. In fucking hell. Her lips on his…

She’d stunned him. He hadn’t expected her kiss, and the feel of her soft lips had seemed like a blow instead of a caress. He would let her beat the hell out of him, as long as it felt like that. Damn.

He led Isabesh into the field behind the cabin where he’d set up a few cans to use as a target. Cael spent the early morning hours running as a wolf, working off steam, in an attempt to clear his mind.

As angry as he’d been over Isabesh’s mistakes, it was becoming harder and harder to blame her for making them. They’d both been put in impossible situations and both had failed. It would take time for him to understand what she’d done and come to grips with the why of it. But one thing was for certain: she needed to feel safe before she could ever heal. And Cael wanted her well. Wanted her to feel whole. Needed it, or he’d go crazy.

She was his now, and he took care of what was his. Or he died trying.

He had noticed Magic’s stock of guns when checking out the cabin that first day. The idea to teach Isabesh to shoot felt like the right move, and he’d rushed back to the cabin to tell her.

Finding her in the throes of a horrible nightmare just reaffirmed his decision.

Besides…

He glanced at her hips as she walked, imagining the ways her body would change soon.

…giving her another way to defend their young was just smart thinking.

He’d hardly let himself think about it. How he was going to be a father soon. The responsibility was tremendous, but he’d never shied away from it before. In fact, the idea of having a cub with her gave him so much pride his chest felt like it could burst. He never imagined he’d feel this way.

Stopping several feet from the targets, he dumped the bag of weapons on the ground.

“Alright. We’ll start small and move our way up. Sound good?”

Isabesh nodded as he handed her a small .38 caliber he’d already loaded.

“You hold it like this,” he said, placing her hand in the correct position. “Don’t be afraid of it. Don’t hold it carefully. Get a good grip on it. Tighter.” He felt her palm squeeze the handle. “Good. Like that. Now you’re ready.”

He stepped behind, wrapping his arms around hers and guiding her aim. “Now, you just point at your target. Try that bigger one first. Look right down the middle of the gun. Do you have it in your sights?”

“Yes.”

Her hair smelled good. Like lilies and his mark. “Good,” he whispered in her ear. “Now gently squeeze the trigger.”

She jumped at the sound of the gun, which he’d expected. What he hadn’t expected was for her to hit the mark.

“I did it,” she said in wonder. Then her gaze flew to him. “I hit it, Cael!”

“You did, baby. You did.” He grinned at her excitement.

Her eyes turned sad. “I missed that. Your smile.”

It faded at her words. “Me too, Isa.” It hadn’t been present for most of the last seventeen years. “Let’s try again. Try that smaller one next.”

She nodded and resumed the position, carefully going through the steps he’d taught her. Grip, aim, squeeze. But the bullet zoomed past the target.

“Damn.” She pouted, and it was the cutest thing he’d seen. Would their young have those same pouty lips?

“It’s okay, keep trying.”

Several tries later, she still hadn’t hit the smaller can.

“I think the first one was a fluke,” she muttered.

“No, it just takes practice.”

The next shot landed and the relief on her face was palpable. She wanted to be good at this, he could tell.

“How come the cans aren’t falling over like in the movies?”

“I put rocks in the bottom.”

“Oh.”

“Then when we’re finished, we’ll see how many holes you make.”

“Got it.”

When she’d mastered the .38, Cael introduced her to the 9mm. She hit the big can so many times the side was mangled.

“Don’t think we’ll be counting holes. More like just seeing which can is more demolished.” He let his pride show through his voice and her eyes smiled. If she gave him a real smile, with her mouth, he probably wouldn’t be able to hold back from kissing her.

Her eyelashes fluttered as she looked away. “You were right, you know.”

“About what?”

“The young. I can sense it today.” Her lips curved upward just slightly. “It scares me, to know I’m bringing a wolf into this world, when it has been so bleak until now. I’m scared I’ll screw up. Or not be good enough. But…”

“But?”

“It… I… It also makes me
happy
,” she barely whispered. “Happy. I can count the times in my life I’ve been happy on one hand.”

Cael reached up to brush his thumb along her cheek.

“Do you…” She bit her lip, clearly having trouble finishing the question. “Do you… wish it wasn’t me? Giving you young?”

He opened his mouth to answer, but she rushed forward.

“Do you wish it was someone better? Or your intended? Or—”

He stopped her with a finger to her lips. Emotion wrecked him, making his breath come hard and heavy. “You,” he said on an exhale. “Always you. I don’t regret what we did. I wondered if I would, but I just… don’t.” He pulled her collar aside to check his bite. Just seeing it there on her neck made him grow hard. If there was ever any question before, there wasn’t now. His wolf was fully invested.

Isabesh stared at the ground. “That really means a lot to me, Cael. To hear you say that. Thank you.”

She was so formal with him. As if they were in an arrangement instead of… what? What was this? What they had didn’t fit in a category, that was clear, but what he felt for her was stronger than any formal agreement. And she still had feelings for him. That kiss had been more than gratitude. He wasn’t wrong about that. She just needed time.
They
needed time.

He brushed the bite gently with his fingers. “This is beautiful.”

A pink blush colored the skin of her neck.

Her stomach growled, and her rosy blush turned fiercely red.

Cael chuckled. It’d been so long since he’d done it, that his small laugh turned into a full on bark. He stepped back, holding his middle and just let it go. Why not? They’d been through so much, they were due a laugh or two even if they cried in the very next minute. It was all okay.

Isabesh crossed her arms over her belly, one hand going to her mouth to stifle a small grin. But her smile grew bigger than her hand and before he knew it, a quiet giggle escaped. The sound was so beautiful, he stopped laughing completely.

Staring at her, with that stupid grin still plastered to his face, he took her hand, pulling her forward. “That’s my new favorite sound,” he husked. “Now let’s go get you something to eat.”