Authors: P. Jameson
Tags: #Romance, #shifter, #Adult, #Contemporary, #Paranormal
If there was one thing Besh did well, it was make her mate mad enough to lose his carefully cultivated temper. Over the years she’d become almost proud of the ability. She liked watching him lose his cool because it meant for that split second, and for however long he raged, he wasn’t in control. And control was something he demanded. Causing him to lose it, the one thing he valued above all else, was all that really brought her joy anymore.
She didn’t even blink as Jax threw a dining chair into the wall, shattering and splintering the wood.
“Last I knew, Avan was allowed to come and go as she pleased.” Besh kept her voice a dull monotone. Not because she worried about riling him further, but because she didn’t care enough to put any inflection in it.
Her mate faced the wall with hands on hips, breathing like a bull.
“That,” his voice snapped like a whip, “was until your brother disappeared.”
“He didn’t disappear. And nobody believes he did just because you say so.”
Slowly, he turned around. “What did you say to me?”
Damn it. This was turning into something worse than just a blown temper. They’d been here many times. So many in fact, that she’d learned how to tune it out. How to fall into her far-away place and forget who she was and how she’d gotten here.
At least until the pain came.
She repeated her words because if she didn’t he’d say she disobeyed him. Which would only make things worse.
He already towered over her where she sat at the table but it wasn’t enough. “Bow,” he commanded.
Besh went to her knees without hesitation. It wasn’t the bowing she minded. Bowing meant nothing to her anymore. It didn’t mean she respected him, or that she was submitting. In order to submit, she’d have to first have a choice. But the part that was so hard to bear was what came after the bowing.
And this time… she was close to her heat. Very close. Too close.
She and Jax had a deal. If she testified against the man she’d loved, if she claimed he’d betrayed their pack, that she’d had no part in their plan to run away. If she chose the alpha, her
intended
mate, over him, the mate she
wanted
… then Jax would vow to never take her during her heat. But more importantly, and the reason she’d made the deal in the first place, he’d let Cael live. Banished. Alone. But alive.
Up until now, he’d never broken that vow.
“Lower.” Alpha’s voice boomed like an unexpected clap of thunder.
Besh bent forward until her forehead touched the floor. Wearing the robe he’d requested afforded her very little modesty. Like this, her hind quarters were on display in a way that made her feel like a damn piece of meat.
“Good, mate.” Rage seeped from his compliment as he ran a deceptively gentle hand from the cheeks of her butt, up her back, until he reached the nape of her neck.
She couldn’t beg him to stop. She’d tried that a million times in the beginning and it changed nothing. He was her mate. She belonged to him. He owned her, like a possession, whether she wanted to be owned or not.
“You’re going to pay for your insolence,” he growled.
The sound of his belt unbuckling made her stomach roll and words tumble from her mouth. “I’m close to my heat.”
He paused, his nose grazing the skin behind her ear. He inhaled deeply, taking in her scent, and even that small action made her feel sick. The thought that he might not stop, that he might make her pregnant with his young… it was the closest she’d ever felt to being desperate.
“Close,” he ground out, rubbing his erection into her thigh. “But not
that
close.”
Cheek pressed to the floor, she grappled with her instinct to submit. Her intended wanted to meet her heat, and as much as she hated him, her wolf wanted a young. Had in fact, waited beyond what any wolf would for offspring.
But Besh would rather die than bear the child of such a cruel man. And not because she couldn’t love the cub, but because the man would destroy any young he sired. From the inside out. Just like he destroyed the pack, his family, her.
“You’ve never broken your vow to me.” She hated how her voice quivered. And hated knowing he’d love it.
“The pack is starting to question why you haven’t contributed young. You can’t put this off forever. Now is a good time, Besh. You are ripe.”
He lifted the bottom of her robe, piling it at her shoulders.
“You said you’d wait until my last cycle. I’m far from that.”
“And you said you’d never resist me.” He spread her legs wider.
“I never have,” Besh argued. It had killed a piece of her soul, or maybe all of it, but she’d kept her end of their deal and submitted to the alpha when he’d required it.
“Your body, true, but what about the rest of you?” His whisper felt like barbed wire across her skin. “Do you think I deserve only half a mate? Your body, but not your heart?”
He deserved so much less than that.
Besh tensed as he poised his erection at her entrance. “Please!” she let her voice ring out, let her desperation show through. “Please don’t do this.”
A thunderous bang at the door of their lodge had Besh pulling in a long breath of sheer relief.
“Alpha, I must speak to you immediately.” The voice on the other side belonged to an elder. An elder Jax wouldn’t dare ignore.
Besh said silent thank-yous to whoever listened from the stratosphere.
Jax growled, and she felt cold air on her hindquarters as he backed away. “Get up.”
She obeyed, working to steady the shaking that resulted from the adrenaline. The alpha pulled his pants back into place, tucking his still hard shaft in the waistband. Besh clenched her teeth against a shudder.
“Fix your robe,” he hissed.
Quickly, she pulled the thin fabric together, tightening the belt.
Jax stomped to the door, leaving Besh in the kitchen trying to catch her breath.
“Elder,” he said through a barely restrained snarl. “Do you have news?”
“May I come inside?”
“If it will hurry things along.”
Besh heard the door shut and footsteps, and then the only elder she trusted was facing her in the kitchen.
She was short and stout and hardly looked older than forty-five, but she’d been around for nearly a hundred years. And might be around a hundred more. Her dark hair was peppered with streaks of silver and cut in a short pixie cut.
“Elder,” Besh nodded. She would’ve greeted her by name, as she’d asked in the past, but with Jax near, she couldn’t risk stepping out of line. If she embarrassed him, he might try to finish what he’d started.
“Lady Besh,” Illia greeted, her eyes slipping to the pile of busted wood. Anger flared in her eyes, changing the color from blue to something lighter and closer to a flame.
The elders knew of Jax’s abuse, knew he was running Ozarka into the ground harder and faster than they could recover. But there was little they could do against him. Illia had told her whatever saved the pack would come from outside. No one inside could help them. But who on the outside would care enough?
“What is your news, Elder?” Alpha’s voice cut through the room. “My mate and I were in the middle of something.”
“I see that.” Illia spun on her heal to face the man almost twice her size. “I’ve had a vision. Two actually. One concerning your mate’s inability to conceive.”
Besh stared at the floor. Jax had needed a reason to give the Elders when they asked about young. She hated feeling inadequate in an area so crucial to the pack, but if it kept him from impregnating her, she’d bear the shame.
“The other is about our missing wolf. Which would you care for first?”
“Tell me about Avan.”
Illia nodded, pulling Besh’s attention back to the conversation. “She has found her mate. I suspect that was her reason for leaving without notification. But rest assured, she will return, and with a man. He will be a great help to the pack.”
“Who is he? A human?”
“That’s all I have.”
Jax was quiet, taking in the information. His shoulders relaxed a fraction at the news that another one of his guardsmen hadn’t turned on him. Not that Vesh had actually done any turning. Alpha had set all that in motion to get her brother out of the way. She could only hope he was safe. That the Ravendales hadn’t found him. Cael would surely kill Vesh for betraying them so many years ago. If not for that, then to get back at her for testifying against him.
“And about my mate?”
Illia glanced at Besh before running her tongue slowly over her front teeth. “Your mate can’t conceive because of the level of stress she’s under.”
Jax scoffed. “Yeah, I don’t think that’s it, Elder.”
Illia’s eyes cut sharply to him. “I’ve never been wrong.”
“One of you was. Trager is happily mated. Was that your vision? Or another’s?”
“We weren’t wrong about Trager. We were confused. His mate can’t bear children. It is true, he won’t have a family. But it was your decision to throw him from the pack. You were the reason for the prophecy in the first place. Our visions are never wrong, Alpha.”
Jax scowled, the scar on his chest flexing with his irritation. “Fine, carry on.”
“Your mate needs a break. Time to heal. Her body and her mind. She will bear children, but not under these circumstances. If you want young, leave her alone. See to your own needs for a while.”
Jax stared at her horrified. “I’ll make use of my mate when I please, understand that.”
Illia shrugged as if it mattered not to her. “Your choice, of course. But a little understanding could go a long way to fixing the problem.”
Jax met Besh’s gaze with a wicked glare, because he knew as well as she did, no amount of understanding was going to change her mind about him. She wanted out or she wanted to be dead. Those were the only two acceptable options for her.
Cael stared at the female across the table. She was beautiful. Toned and tan, with blond hair to her waist. She was his, but he didn’t want her. He’d scented her the night he and Lexar snuck into the Ozarka camp and ever since, he’d been trying to figure out a way to break it to her easy. He wasn’t the mating type.
After his only true love betrayed him, he’d spent most of his years praying to the Elders, to the Creator, to whoever was out there listening, to never allow him to find his intended mate. Not because he’d have a hard time refusing her—it’d be easy since his heart was too shattered to ever love again—but because he didn’t want to ruin her life by not giving her what she deserved: a proper mating, a family, a future.
His prayers went spectacularly un-fucking-answered.
The five members of his pack had crowded around the small table, each of them staring at the woman—Avan, Vesh had called her. Her scent assaulted him, making his wolf chuff. But the animal knew what Cael knew. Intended or not, she wasn’t the one for him. There was only one soul in the world that matched his and the fucking fates had gotten it wrong with Avan.
Images of Isabesh flashed through his mind like a strobe light. Some remembered from their time together—her peeking from behind the trunk of a tree, her sleeping soundly in his arms, her as a wolf chasing prey through the forest, her looking desolate when Jax discovered their plan to run away. Others were imagined—how her eyes might be black and bruised from the fists of the brutish alpha, how she might be a shell of a person from living unloved for such a long time, how she might look when she’s finally free of her nightmare.
His wolf whimpered for her.
Yes, the animal was pulled toward his intended. It was natural instinct. But Cael’s heart belonged to only Isabesh. She’d betrayed him, trampled on everything they had, and sentenced him to a life of loneliness. And
still
, he ached for only her.
With shaking hands, he tipped his beer bottle up and chugged the rest of it down.
Whether he could forgive Isabesh or not, he wouldn’t leave her at the hands of a monster. Jax needed to die for what he’d done to her, to them, to the pack. Cael was going to be the one to do it.
He was so close to having his revenge.
Avan met his gaze boldly. She wasn’t the least bit intimidated by him. Why should she be when they were practically a foregone conclusion? She didn’t doubt that he’d take her as soon as possible, give her his mark, and claim her future. She didn’t know how wrong she was.
Cael felt sorry for her. This might break her, and it would be his fault for giving his heart to another. For the millionth time he wondered why he couldn’t have just fucked Isabesh until she was out of his system. But he already knew the answer. No amount of time with her would’ve cleansed him. There was no getting over her. Years had proven that.
“Why are you here, Avan?” Trager broke the silence.
She narrowed her eyes, considering the wolf’s question. “I’m here to help.”
“What do you mean?” Vesh asked. “Did Jax send you?”
Her gaze cut away from Cael. “No. He doesn’t know I’m here and I’d like to keep it that way. I actually thought your first question would be to inquire about your sister. But I see you’re all comfy and mated so maybe she doesn’t matter anymore—”
Vesh’s fist connecting with the table shut off the rest of her sentence. “Don’t. You.
Dare
say that to me. It was
your
phone the alpha used to threaten me away.”
Avan stiffened. “Yes, and as you know, he doesn’t exactly ask before using things that aren’t his. There was nothing I could do about that.”
Vesh glared at her. Cael knew he should be doing the talking but he liked to think before he spoke. And thinking was impossible at the moment.
“Is…” Vesh cleared his throat but it didn’t help his riddled voice. “Is she okay?”
Avan glanced at Cael before answering. “She’s alive. That’s all I can really attest to.”
Vesh nodded. “Why are you here?”
Avan leveled her eyes at Cael, a smile playing at her lips. “I figured it was time to meet my mate.”
Shit. This was going to get ugly. He had to figure out a way to talk her down.
Vesh sat back in his chair. Cael felt his eyes on him. It was time to alpha up and deal with this.
“Listen, Avan—”
“No, no.” She leaned across the table, her scent sweeping over him. He breathed through his mouth to lessen the blow. “I scented you in my camp
weeks ago
, so I know you chose not to come for me. Smartest thing you’ve ever done, alpha, because I would’ve fought you off. To the death if necessary.”
Cael shook his head at her words. He must be hearing this wrong.
“I have no desire to be a first mate. I’ve seen that life and it’s not for me. The fates fucked up, babe. We aren’t meant for each other. You’re a dominant, and I’m sure as hell not a submissive.”
He could see that.
Clearing his throat sounded like trying to start a train engine. The combination of relief and confusion had his wolf pacing inside, anxious.
“What then, do you want? You say you want to help. How?”
Avan rubbed her palms together, all the sexy come-hither mysteriously vanishing from her gaze. “Jax needs to die. I assume you and your crew are the ones who could get the job done. With Vesh and Trager on board, you have an even better chance of success. Add me to the mix, and it’s a done-fucking deal.”
“You’re talking about betraying your pack. You’d be a traitor.”
“No. I’m talking about
helping
my pack. They’re oppressed, and it’s killing them slowly. If things go on, if our alpha is allowed to live, the pack will wither to nothing. I know it. I feel it.”
Cael looked to Lexar. The wolf was his rock. Had the most level head he’d ever seen. But now he stared at Avan with slanted eyes. He was as confused by this development as Cael was.
He focused on his intended. “And what do you get out of this? Something tells me your reasons aren’t completely altruistic.”
“I do want something in return. I never want to be controlled again. I’m tired of playing puppet while someone devious pulls my strings.” She braced her elbows on the table. “I want the pack. I want to be alpha.”
To emphasize her point, the music in the bar went quiet for a few seconds. Unplanned, but still, it put everything in focus.
Cael looked at Vesh. His frown was deep enough to cause permanent grooves in his face. He’d already sworn allegiance to Ravendale. He’d given up any right to claim Ozarka as his own. And as far as Isabesh, she would be part of Ravendale whether she wanted to or not. Or at least until she made up for her betrayal. Vesh had already agreed to that part.
Cael stared at Trager, who looked supremely annoyed. He didn’t have any claim to Ozarka and didn’t want to lead anyway. He barely wanted to be part of a pack, and Cael had a feeling it was only because his mate had come to love the wolves so much.
Haze, Cael’s second, was absent from the conversation, but he wasn’t ready to lead a pack. He still had anger issues to work through.
That left Lexar or the traitor, Farrow. Or Avan.
Cael turned to his most trusted. “What do you think?”
Lexar ripped his gaze away from the female. “I think if you don’t give her this, she’ll take it. We don’t want war. You said so yourself. We just want Jax.”
“This one is bright,” Avan muttered.
Lexar narrowed his gaze at her. “I recognize a dark horse when I see one.
Ma’am
.”
Avan’s eyes flared before she glanced away.
“And what happens when you’re in charge of the pack? Do we just go on like we aren’t intended? Do our packs remain enemies?” Cael asked.
She looked around the table at the wolves and their mates. “Allies,” she said, and then her eyes landed back on him. “And we go our separate ways. Give fate a big middle finger.”
Cael’s head spun. This was an insane turn of events. Not at all how he’d ever envisioned this happening. “And what if I don’t want that? What if I want to claim you?” He had to make sure she knew what she was saying.
“Like I said, I’d kill you first. Besides, we both know that’s not what you want.”
He raised an eyebrow. “And if I change my mind?”
She shrugged one shoulder, causing her blond hair to fall over the front. “I suspect you won’t. Now, do we have a deal?”
Knowing she had something to gain from this transaction gave him a sense of security. It was clear she wanted control. If she double-crossed them, she wouldn’t get it. There was really nothing to lose and everything to gain. He’d have his revenge and Isabesh safe.
“Yes.” He nodded. “We have a deal.”