A Mate for Lazarus (The Program Book 3) (21 page)

Two
days later…

There
was a knock at the door. Alexandra pulled a pillow over her head. Another
knock. “I know you’re in there.” It was Sarah. Another knock, harder this time.
“Let me in. I have food.”

Alexandra
sighed. “On my way.” She turned the lock and opened the door.

Her
friend looked her up and down and wrinkled her nose. “You look terrible. You
smell even worse.” She pushed her way in. “Your room is disgusting. We have a
maid’s service, you know? You should use it some time. You should really try
showering as well.”

“Why?
I’m not expecting company.”

“What
do you think I am…chopped liver?” She placed the tray on the desk and opened
the lid. There was a tub of ice cream and two spoons. “I thought you could use
some cheering up.”

“How
are things going with Griffin? Are you guys…doing the dirty yet?”

Sarah
pursed her lips and as usual she shook her head. “No…I mean, none of your
business.” She smiled. “I don’t want to talk about it. You talk to me. What’s
going on with you, besides wallowing in self-pity that is?”

“Nothing
has changed. Lazarus still won’t talk to me.” Alexandra had told Sarah
everything. Although the other woman had initially been taken aback, she
quickly came around and seemed to understand. Sarah had been exceptionally
sweet and supportive even though she didn’t deserve it. Her only wish was that
Lazarus would give her a chance to talk, they could discuss this like two
adults. It was something that he had to work through though. She knew that. She
would keep trying. Even if she wasn’t pregnant there was no way she was leaving
without seeing him first.

“Not
craving anything yet?” Sarah opened the tub and they both went and sat on the
bed.

“If
by anything you mean blood”—she shook her head—“it’s still too soon for that.”

“What
are you going to do?” Sarah scooped up a big spoonful of ice cream and
deposited it in her mouth. She made a sound of utter joy and contentment, she
even closed her eyes. “Double chocolate fudge…You have to try some.”

Even
though her stomach clenched at the thought, Sarah had made an effort and
therefore she was going to force it down if she had to. She scooped up a much
smaller spoonful and put it in her mouth. Damn, it was good. She didn’t want it
to taste good.

“Just
what the doctor ordered, isn’t it?”

Alexandra
nodded, she smiled at Sarah. “To think I didn’t even know I wanted any. Thank
you for this, and for being here for me.”

“You
made a stupid mistake. Don’t get me wrong, I can understand why Lazarus is
pissed…” Sarah licked her spoon. “I’m sure he’ll come around though.” They both
scooped up some more ice cream and for a few minutes they ate in silence. “He’s
crazy about you and would be nuts to throw the towel in, especially if you’re
pregnant with his child.”

Alexandra
put her spoon down. The last thing she wanted was for Lazarus to take her back
because she turned out to be pregnant. Hopefully they would find a way back to
each other before they found out either way. That meant she needed to shower
and to get her ass to his suite.

“You
can’t be done.” Sarah pointed at the ice-cream with her spoon.

She
smiled. “Just taking a break. I don’t know what I’m going to do. One thing is
for sure though; I’m not leaving until he speaks to me. I’ll chain myself to
this bed if I have to.”

“Kinky…”
Sarah laughed. “I’m sure he would fold like a deck of vampire cards if you did
that.” She bobbed her eyebrows.

Alexandra
had to smile. “If I thought it would help I would do it in a heartbeat.” She
felt emotion well up in her and had to bite her lip for a few seconds.

“And
if you are pregnant? Will you stay here?”

Alexandra
shrugged. “If Lazarus won’t forgive me, I have nothing here. I’m seen as an
outsider on their territory. An outcast. A deceptive human. I don’t know if I
can live like that.” It was the last thing she wanted but did she have a
choice? Brant was right, there were evil people out there. Both her, and the
life of her child would be in danger if she chose to leave. She was damned
either way.

Sarah
huffed out a breath. “I don’t blame you. Just so you know, although the others
know that there is a problem between you guys, they have no idea what it’s all
about. They know that something is seriously wrong with the way Lazarus has
been acting and that you guys are no longer together but that’s it.”

“What’s
wrong with Lazarus? How has he been acting?” She could hear the worry in her
voice.

“Griffin
said that he is withdrawn and like a bear with a sore tooth. When he’s not at
the gym he snaps at everyone. He beats the guys up in training, more so than
usual, that is.” She shrugged. “I’m telling you this verbatim. The point is, he
hasn’t told anyone anything. Griffin keeps asking me about it, but I promised
you that I wouldn’t say anything and I’m keeping my word.”

The
thought of Lazarus so upset tore at her. “You didn’t happen to bring any juice,
soda…neat whiskey?” Alexandra had never been much of a drinker but could use a
stiff one right about now.

Sarah
raised her brows. “You can’t drink any alcohol. It wouldn’t be good for the
baby.”

Alexandra
gave her a pointed look. “We don’t even know if I’m pregnant. I’ll have my
whiskey on the rocks please.” It was a warm day after all. Her mouth
practically watered at the thought of…

“Chances
are good that you are preggers and until we know for sure, we are going to
assume that you are.”

Alexandra
picked up her spoon and scooped it full of ice cream. Even with her mouth full
of the frozen dairy she still felt like she wanted more so she scooped up
another spoonful and shoveled it into her mouth.

“Good.”
Sarah giggled. “Eat up. Nothing like a gallon of ice-cream to drown the old
sorrows. I’m sure you’re feeling much better already.”

As
if. She was thirsty and hungry and sad and angry and she…she…she…was going mad.

“Although,
you don’t look like you’re feeling better.” Sarah leaned forward. “Is
everything okay?”

“Just
peachy.” Alexandra added sounding a little too joyful. “Never been better.” She
swallowed hard. Her gaze dropped to the pulse at the base of Sarah’s neck.
Shit! She could hear her friend’s heartbeat. It was loud. Like so loud that
Alexandra had to stop herself from covering her ears.

Her
fangs throbbed and her mouth felt dry. Alexandra was forced to breathe through
her mouth because she could smell Sarah’s blood. It made her feel sick but it
also made her feel…hungry and thirsty.

Fangs!!!

She
ran her tongue over her teeth, feeling them catch. Sharp, tiny and throbbing.

“You
don’t look all that great.” Sarah shook her head. She put her hand on Alex’s
arm.

Alex
sucked in a deep breath and smiled, sure to keep her mouth closed this time.
She didn’t want the other woman to see her…fangs. Fangs!! Oh god. She was
pregnant.

It
was too soon. It had only been two days. Eleanor had said that it would be a
couple of days. A couple implied three or more. She was pregnant. What was she
going to do? What the hell was she going to do?

This
was such a colossal mess.

Then
she realized that Sarah was talking to her. “Are you sure you’re fine? You look
pale and like you’re about to hyperventilate or something. Hey, Alex…” She
waved a hand in front of her face and Alex snapped out of it.

“Um…yeah…sorry.
Too much ice cream,” she mumbled. “I’m not feeling all that good. I think I
need a nice hot bath and a nap…or something.” Blood would be good. Her stomach
lurched and she covered her mouth.

“Oh
no. You ate too much too quickly.” Her eyes clouded with concern. “Do you have
brain freeze? Tummy ache?”

“I
must have.” Alex nodded her head. “Thanks so much for coming and for the ice
cream.”
Please leave before I stick my fangs into you. Before I suck your
blood
. Alex made a gagging noise and slapped a hand over her mouth.

“Oh
no! Maybe nausea is a sign that you are pregnant? I think I should stay. Should
I call a doctor?”

Alex
shook her head. “No, it’s not like that, just too much ice-cream. They never
mentioned nausea. Look…” Alex stood up off the bed. “I really just need to
rest. I’ll feel better in no time.”

Sarah
narrowed her eyes and for a few seconds there Alex was sure that her friend
would insist on staying. Then she cocked her head and nodded. “Okay, but I’m
coming back in an hour or two.”

“Sure
thing. I’m sure I’ll feel much better by then.”
Or…not.
Alex made her
way to the door and opened it. Thankfully Sarah stood up and followed her.

“You
promise me that you’ll be okay?”

“I’m
fine.”
I’m pregnant not dying. Oh my god…I’m pregnant.
She felt her eyes
prick but blinked a few times to get rid of her tears. She forced a smile,
keeping her mouth pursed.

“I’ll
be back soon.”

Alex
nodded some more. She closed the door and turned the lock. She leaned her
forehead against the door for a bit, trying to regain her composure. Falling
apart was not going to help anything. Then she walked back to her bed and sat
down.

Alex
had been trying so hard not to touch her belly. Her hands shook as she rubbed
them against her stomach. “Looks like it’s just you and me kid.” Her voice
hitched. She should let someone know about this. The only problem was that she
didn’t want to because she still didn’t know what to do.

Two
days later…

The
sound of laughing in the suite down the hall was enough to grate the hell out
of every nerve in his body. It had been going on for an hour and enough was e-
fucking
-nough.
Lazarus slammed his door shut and strode in the direction of the noise.

As
he drew closer he realized who it was. No fucking way. He would rather put up
with the racket. The air was thick with hearts and cupid’s arrows. It made him
sick to his stomach. Just as he was turning around, Griffin strode from the
room. “Hi, Lazarus…we were just talking about you.”

The
human female that had stood up for Griffin, a few days before, walked into the
hallway as well.

“Lazarus!”
York bellowed from inside the suite. “Get your ass in here. I have news.”

He
had to roll his eyes and he took a step back. Lazarus did not want to be here.
Fuck
no!
“I was just leaving.” He grunted, jamming his hands into his pockets.

“I’m
going to be a dad. My Cass is with child. We found out this morning!” York
shouted. A loud, feminine giggle erupted. Lazarus could hear York murmuring
words of love to his female.

“Lazarus.”
Gideon put his head around the jamb. “Please come in. This is my new place.”

“Our
new place.” Jenna said as she wound her arms around Gideon who had made a full
recovery. The male looked like nothing had happened. He looked so fucking happy
that it made Lazarus feel sick just looking at him. At them. Then he felt
guilty because they were his friends. He wanted them to be happy and content.
He just couldn’t bare the sight of it right now.

“Congratulations
all round.” He tried to sound like he meant it and failed. The joy had been
sucked out of him. He wanted to be happy for his friends but he couldn’t. Not
when he felt dead inside.

“Please
come in.” Gideon gestured into his suite.

“Yeah.
We’ve missed you.” Jenna smiled.

“Not
too fucking much I hope.” Gideon narrowed his eyes at his female. The male was
still smiling.

Jenna
giggled and slapped his arm, reminding him of how Alexandra used to slap him on
his arm like that.

“You
should spend some time with your friends,” Griffin said. “We need to go though,
so maybe later?” He looked down at the human at his side and then back at
Lazarus.

Lazarus
didn’t respond.

“You
should call me, we could…talk.” Griffin gave Lazarus a look.

Lazarus
nodded, taking another step back. He didn’t feel like chit fucking chats. There
would be no calls.

“Come
on. Come inside.” Gideon pulled his female more firmly against him and Lazarus
only felt emptier watching them. More fucking heart sore than ever. It made him
want to hurt things. Break things.

He
shook his head. “Next time.”

“Promise?”
Jenna raised her brows.

Lazarus
grunted, not wanting to commit to anything. He put a hand up and turned to
leave.

“Wait.”
It was the human at Griffin’s side. “I need to have a quick word, please.”

He
gave a shake of the head. No fucking way. She would try to talk to him about
Alexandra. So far he had done a good job of avoiding her. At least, he had
avoided her when she had tried to see him initially. It seemed as if she had
given up and so damned soon. It was clear that the female had never felt
anything for him. Lazarus took another step in the opposite direction. He
wasn’t sure what he would do if she was with child.
Fuck!

“I’m
worried.” She did sound fearful. Her voice shook a little. “Please. One
minute.”

Fuck!

His
heart beat faster. Was there something wrong with Alexandra? Was she ill?

Lazarus
swung back around. “What is it?” He growled and the female flinched. He sucked
in a deep breath. “I’m sorry. I won’t hurt you. Please just say what you need
to say.”

The
little human looked from Griffin to where Jenna and Gideon stood in the doorway
and then her gaze flew back to him. “I need a minute…alone.” She emphasized the
word.

Her
eyes were overly large and her heart raced. Lazarus could see that the female
was afraid of him yet she still wanted to talk in private. It must be
important. He nodded once. “Come with me.”

She
swallowed hard and walked towards him. At the last second, she turned back to
Griffin. “I’ll be right back.”

The
male’s jaw was clenched and his whole frame radiated tension. After a few
beats, he nodded. “I’ll wait here.” He folded his arms and gave Lazarus a hard
stare. Then his demeanor softened and he gave Lazarus a small nod.

They
walked down the hall a ways, stopping outside his suite. “Do you want to come
in?” He tried hard not to growl or to narrow his eyes.

“No,
this is fine.” She wrung her hands together in front of her. “I haven’t seen
Alexandra in two days. She won’t open her door or accept my calls.”

Lazarus
wasn’t sure what to make of that.

“She
wasn’t herself when I saw her last either. She seemed really sick or…I don’t
know. I can’t put my finger on it. There is something wrong though, I just know
it.” Her eyes were filled with concern.

“You
are a good female,” Lazarus finally said. “You look for the good in others.
Alexandra is doing this to try and get attention. She wants to speak to me
about what happened. This is exactly what she was angling for.”

Sarah
shook her head. “You’re so wrong. Alex told me everything and she didn’t go
easy on herself either. I don’t agree with what she did but I understand. The
bottom line is that she really loves you. She didn’t expect to fall in love,
but she did.” The human inhaled deeply. “Look, I didn’t come to see you to try
and get you guys back together. You have every right to be angry. I wouldn’t
blame you if you didn’t take her back. People make mistakes though. Some people
learn from their mistakes and grow. I think that Alex is one of those people.”

He
felt like putting his fingers in his ears and making strange noises because he
sure as hell didn’t want to listen to these sob fucking stories. He didn’t want
to hear how much Alexandra loved him. Hearing those words was like silver to
his wounds.

If
he was truly honest with himself though, hearing Sarah talk made him want to
run back to the human. Made him want to forget her lies and deception but it
wasn’t going to happen.

“I
know that she’s upset. I realize that she might not want company right now but
there’s more to it than that. Something is wrong. She won’t let them clean her
room and she makes the kitchen staff leave her food outside the door. No one
has seen her in two days. I was the last person to see her and she looked…ill.
I’m really worried.”

Two
days prior would have put her at two days after she had been in heat which was
too soon for her to start craving blood. It couldn’t be that. He would expect
those symptoms to show up today or tomorrow. What the fuck? He didn’t like the
sound of this. Not one fucking bit. Mostly because it felt like a trap.

“Please,
Lazarus. I’m sure she’ll let you in.”

I’ll
bet. Fuck! He didn’t have much of a choice in the matter. After a few beats, he
nodded his head. “Fine.” He grunted.

“Thank
you.” She huffed out a breath. “Would you like me to go with you?”

He
shook his head. “Griffin is waiting for you.”

“Please
let me know if I can help in any way.”

Lazarus
nodded and made a noise of affirmation. “Griffin is lucky to have a female as
sweet as you.”

She
choked out a laugh and shook her head. “You might want to tell him that.”

“I
will.”

Her
eyes widened. “No don’t. Please.”

Lazarus
gave a nod of the head and walked towards the stairs. He walked quickly until
he exited the castle, at which point he jogged.

There
was a niggling voice inside of him. What if there was something wrong with
Alexandra? What if something happened to her…
fuck!
He shouldn’t care but
he did. His only worry should be for his unborn son…if she was with child. Yet,
he was worried about her as well, it made him pick up the pace. The guard at
the entrance to the human accommodations looked at him funny but he raced
inside and up the stairs.

He
knocked twice on her door.
Silence.
After waiting a few seconds, he
knocked again and then a third time. “Alexandra. It’s me,” he growled. “Open
up.” He knocked again. “Are you okay?” He pounded on the wood and there was a
cracking noise. Any harder and the wood would split.

“Open
this door right now.” It didn’t feel right. Something was wrong. He could feel
it. He could hear her heart racing.

“I’m
fine. Go away.” She didn’t sound fine. Her voice sounded…different.

“Open
the door.” His chest was heaving. Something was wrong, something was off. “Open
it now,” he growled.

Silence.

With
one hard, well-aimed kick, the lock gave and the door sprang open on a loud
crash. He walked in, slamming the door behind him.

By
fucking blood. Alexandra was crouched in a corner. Her hair was wet about her
shoulders. She wore a t-shirt and nothing else. He could scent that she had recently
bathed or showered.

“Look
at me.” He tried hard to speak softly. She reminded him of a wounded animal.
From the way she held herself to the tremor of her hands which rested on the
floor on either side of her. She looked ready to flee at any second.

Alexandra
shook her head. “Go…away,” a whisper.

“I’m
not going anywhere. Look at me.” This time he did growl as frustration rose in
him.

She
shivered. Fucking shivered.

“You
have nothing to be afraid of.” He spoke more softly this time.

“No…” Her voice was hard, cold. She suddenly didn’t
look like she was readying herself to flee but to prance. “But you should be.”
Alexandra looked up at him.

He had to work not to take a step back.

Her eyes were blood fucking red. She hissed. His
gaze was drawn to her sharp, little fangs.

“Oh my fuck,” he growled.

“Run.” Her ferocious stare turned panicked for a
quick second. Then she hissed again, looking like she wanted to hurt him.

Lazarus shook his head. “You need to drink.”

“No,” an anguished sound of torment. “I’m not, I
can’t.” But even as she said the words, she moved towards him.

“You must. You can’t hurt me, Alexandra.” He pulled
off his shirt. “Come and take what you need.”

“I can’t be pregnant. I can’t stay here. I just
can’t.” Tears streamed down her cheeks. “I refuse.”

Her pain and need had to be excruciating. He
couldn’t believe that she had lasted this long. “Fuck, Alexandra. You are with
child. You need blood and you need it now. You must take from me.” All he had
to do was breathe in her scent and he felt the change come over him. He hated
how much he loved her smell, he craved it. Lazarus felt his own fangs erupt,
felt his claws descend. Using his index fingernail, he sliced an inch along his
neck. Sure to pierce deep so that he wouldn’t heal too quickly. Blood dripped
and Alexandra hissed.

She made the sound of a wild animal, her focus on
the warm blood that pumped from his neck. Then she was on him. Her legs wrapped
around his waist and her teeth sank into him. She sucked so fucking hard that
it hurt. Every nerve ending sprang to life. This included the ones in his dick.

His own need to drink became all consuming. Those
bags in the fridge helped take the edge off but that was it. He hadn’t been
able to force himself to drink from someone else. He couldn’t.

On a hard growl, he dropped his mouth to her neck.
His fangs pierced her flesh and his mouth instantly began to fill with her
blood. Rich, sweet, divine. His eyes rolled back and he groaned as he sucked
harder. At the same time, he was careful not to take too much.

Alexandra whimpered and her greedy little mouth
suckled on him. His dick throbbed. His veins felt like they had been set on
fire. His mind blanked as his need for her deepened. She moaned while grinding
up against him, still drinking in loud gulps.

It was as if he was starving, for her blood, for her
touch, for her.

Alexandra was starving as well. She clawed him with
her hands, suckled him with her mouth and was dry humping the hell out of him.

Lazarus growled. Fuck this. Fuck. He ripped his
pants open and his dick sprang free, instantly making sweet contact with her
dripping pussy. Without breaking contact. He lay her on the bed and rammed
himself deep inside her. She cried out even though her fangs remained buried
inside him.

It was as if his body had a mind of its own. Lazarus
pumped in and out of her on hard grunts. He sucked hard and Alexandra screamed.
Her pussy spasmed and her fangs dug deeper as she sucked harder.