A Major Connection (11 page)

She’d totally fallen, no question in love with him, after a bout of anal sex. What did that say about her that she used carnality as a basis for emotional staying power? Yep, she was definitely a perv.

Except the call to her sister had showed her how she
really
felt about things. Jane had a great way of understanding and pointing out April’s fears and desires, so April could see the truth beyond the veil of self-lies Jane liked ripping away.

“You love him, dimwit,” Jane had said on the phone last night. “It’s so plain to see it’s not funny.”

“Yeah? Well I told him that after we’d had the best sex of my life. Then the dickhead just watched me leave.”

“He didn’t say anything?”

“Not even after I accused him of being scared of me. I might have called him a pussy too.”

Jane started laughing.

April cut her off. “Hello? Not funny. My love life is gone. I miss the arrogant musclehead. And I just got the dream offer of a lifetime. So why am I not happy?”

“You say they have places all over the world, right?”

“Yeah.”

“So why not take the job, give yourself some time to see if you’re still ga-ga for Gunny,
then
make a decision? I mean, you’re acting like you’re married to your job if you take it. Relax, Sis. This isn’t the Marine Corps. You can quit if you don’t like it.”

“Actually the contract locks me in for six months, at which time I can revisit my employment without any penalties.”

“Huh?”

“They’ll pay to move me wherever I go.”

“Oh man. And you mentioned Europe? I might be a pregnant loser getting married to a jarhead, but hey, I can visit you over there, can’t I?”

A loser. Ha. Though Jane spoke tongue-in-cheek, because April knew her sister was truly happy, April thought Jane was living the life April secretly wanted. How screwed up was she that she wanted to dump a great opportunity for a man? “Am I dumb for wanting Thorn more than I want this job?”

“No. You’re a woman in love with a man making her crazy.” Jane sounded so supportive. “What you have to balance is the notion you might be giving up that job, and you and Thorn might not work out. Would the regrets be worth it?”

“Considering he hasn’t told me how he feels, maybe.” She felt like an idiot because she couldn’t stop thinking about Thorn…or being her own boss? An image of the tiny gift shop on the beach came to mind. A job worth a hundred grand, or a man who couldn’t commit and a very risky retail job that could bankrupt her?

The conversation with her sister continued to replay itself in her mind as she rocked on her parents’ back porch.

“Hey, honey.”

Hell.
Her mother had joined her.

Mona took the rocking chair beside April, and they sat in silence watching the fireflies wink at them from the tree line. The spacious backyard on several acres of land, outside the city, gave them a respite from the bustle of Raleigh.

“Hi, Mom.”

Her mother patted her on the knee. “So what do you think of the job?”

“I don’t know. It seems like something I’d be foolish to turn down.”

“But…?”

“But there are other options at play.”
Like loving a man you’ve just met and insisting he tell you he loves you because you love him. Or wanting to invest money in a venture that has a fifty-fifty shot of not working.

“I’ve said this before, but—”

“Mom, please. I know. You gave up your entire world for me. You let a man steamroll over you, and you want Jane and me to make better decisions. I
know
.”

Her mother sighed. “I’ve beat that dead horse enough. What I wanted to tell you is that although I regretted having a baby so young, I never regretted you or your sister.”

“Or dad?” April prodded.

Her mother smiled, startling her. “Or your father. I know, I bitch about him all the time, but the truth is he never forced me to do anything. I made my own choices, and I’ve been trying to blame everyone else but me because life turned out different than I’d expected.” To April’s shock, her mother seemed to mean every word.

“Are you doing drugs?”

Mona laughed so hard she cried. “If honesty is a drug, then yeah. The therapist I’ve been going to has really opened my eyes. I never realized how hard I was on you and your sister. I didn’t mean to be. I just want you to not make the mistakes I made.” She grinned. “Your father and I are going to England in October. I always wanted to go, so we’re going.”

“Nice.”

“Well, part of my problem was blaming others when I was the one without a voice. Had I ever told your father how I felt, we could have compromised. I never knew that.”

“I don’t know why you’re surprised. Dad would do anything for you.”

“Because he loves me.” Her mother leaned close to hug her. “Oh, sweetie. I want you to know I support whatever you decide to do. And even though I’m still not sure about Jane’s future husband—your father and I haven’t even met him yet—I’m sure she’ll be a wonderful mother. Though I will never stop thinking she made a mistake not following her passion for music.”

April rolled her eyes but didn’t interrupt.

“You’ve always been so independent. But I worry that you’re alone too much.”

“You’re kidding, right? How many times have I heard not to choose a man over my career?”

“I told you I’m seeing things differently. It’s all about balance.” Her mother nodded. “I’m happy if you’re happy. I want you to do what makes you feel good. And honey, you’re young yet. Thirty is not the end of the world. Why, I’m just fifty and feeling like I have a new lease on life.” She sparkled. “I can’t
wait
to go to Europe.”

While her mother shared her travel plans, April continued to wonder about her own. Decisions, decisions. Play it smart, or by the heart? She wished she knew what to do.

***

Thorn looked at the palatial farmhouse with its broad covered porch and bouquet of flowers brightening up the front walkway. A beautiful home, by anyone’s standards. He wondered if April wanted a place like this.

So much he didn’t know about the stubborn woman. But he did know he loved her. It had taken him a few days of soul-searching to figure out what to do about it, but now that he’d made his choice, he was committed.

He knocked on the front door and waited.

A male version of April answered. “Hello?”

“Hi. Mr. Soames?”

The man nodded.

“I’m Gunnery Sergeant Robert Thorn.” He held out a hand, and her father shook it. “I’m a friend of your daughter’s. April, not Jane.”

The man gave a knowing smile. “Ah. Now it’s all become clear to me. Come in, please.”

Thorn didn’t know what that meant, but he entered to see a large living room decorated with tasteful yet traditional furnishings. The place didn’t much seem like April. But from what Jane had told him, it did seem to fit her mother.

His conversation with April’s younger sister had given him much food for thought, as well as a hefty kick in the pants. Jane didn’t hold back, and he felt like a royal fool for not having told April how he felt before she’d left.

“Mr. Soames, I—”

“Honey, let’s go,” the man yelled. “Sorry, Gunny. My wife and I have a movie date. Good timing for you, I’d say.” He winked. “April’s in the back. She seems to have a real thing for the porch lately.”

A dark-haired woman with laughing brown eyes came down the hallway, and he could see April’s smile mirrored in the woman’s.

“You must be one of her options,” she murmured.

Her husband made the introductions.

“Please, call me Bobby,” Thorn said, including them as family, since he intended to do the same with their daughter, if she’d let him.

“Well, Bobby, you can find April on the porch mooning over the yard. We’ll be back in a few hours. Movie and then dinner.” She smiled, patted him on the shoulder, then left with her husband, not looking back.

Feeling a bit startled at the warm reception from a woman Jane had sworn would eat him alive, he walked through the home to the porch.

April sat in a chair, rocking and humming under her breath.

God, it had been a week, but it felt like forever. He’d missed her so much he hadn’t been able to eat or sleep while thinking of what a mess he’d made.

She must have heard his footsteps because she said, “I’m not hungry.”

“Me neither.”

She snapped her head around and gaped at him. “Thorn? What the hell are you doing here?”

“Yeah, I love you too,” he muttered and sat next to her.

Her eyes grew as round as quarters. “
What?
”

“Hold all questions to the end. That means you keep your lips closed while I talk. No interruptions,” he warned.

Her eyes narrowed, but she said nothing.

“You threw me for a loop, okay?” He ran a nervous hand over his head, knowing he needed a haircut. “I have feelings for you. More than the kind that get me hard, smartass.”

“I didn’t say anything.”

He read the curl at the corner of her mouth. “You didn’t have to. I know you. Maybe not stories about your past, about your favorite flower, or what you like better when it comes to pizza, but I know the important stuff.”

“Pizza’s important.” She started to relax.

“Didn’t I say to shut up?”

She mimed zipping her lip and throwing away the key.

He sighed and squeezed her leg, not surprised to be turned on by her nearness. “Look. I fell hard for a friend of mine a few years ago, but I never told her. She had always had a thing for another guy, and she never hid that fact. But it still ripped me up when we broke off. I’ve dated on and off, but you know how it is with deployments and the job. It’s tough to commit to someone you can trust, who understands what it means to be a Marine.”

She nodded.

“But you… You’re a Marine. You get it. You get
me
.”

“I told you that.”

“No, you told me you love me. Out of the
fucking blue
.” He glared. “A little heads-up would have been nice. I was still in shock after coming so damn hard. Being inside you is like losing myself every time. You have no idea how you make me feel.”

“So tell me.”

“Quiet,” he growled, but the softening of her expression gave him real hope. “I talked to your sister. I know you’re planning on taking a job away from here.”

He stood and started pacing, unable to keep still. His heart hammered, and it was difficult to breathe. The thought of losing her didn’t bear contemplating. “I know you have your whole life ahead of you. No more ties to the Corps. You can go wherever you want. Europe, even.”

She watched him.

“I told you I wanted to retire from the Corps. I still plan to.”

“Okay…”

“But I want to be with you. I fucking love you. So much it hurts. It makes no sense, because we kind of just met. But I feel it deep inside.”

She bit her lower lip, her eyes like great pools of mystery.

“I’m not trying to pressure you or anything, but I want us to be together.”

She still said nothing.

“Well?”

“You told me not to talk.”

“You can talk now. Fucking tell me what you’re thinking.”

She scowled. “Quit ordering me around.”

“You like it when we’re in bed.”

“Yeah? Well this isn’t a bed.” She waved her arm around. “Let me tell
you
something.” She stood and poked him in the chest.

He wanted to draw her close for a hug. A week without her had been terrible. But he let her have her say.

“I can’t explain it, but we connect. I didn’t want to, but I love you. And I’m afraid.”

“Honey, me too—”

“Shut up. My turn to talk.” She poked him with each word, and he took it, wanting her hands all over him. “I’ve been weighing my options. I might want to work for myself some day, but not yet. I want more experience in the real world first. And it seems I have an amazing opportunity to work in my field—logistics—for a solid company. They have places for me overseas, and I want to take the job they offered. I’ll be tied to them for at least six months if I do.”

He nodded.

She faltered. “You don’t have a problem with that?”

“Not if you’ll hear me out.”

She crossed her arms over her chest. “Speak.”

“Ah, Major. I missed you.” He pulled her in for a kiss that turned carnal in a heartbeat. And she was with him every step of the way. Setting her back, he ignored his hard-on and said, “I talked to Jane. Or rather, she yelled at me for being dense. She also told me how great it would be for you to go with this job. I did a little research and… Well, they have offices in Germany. Stuttgart, for example.”

She blinked. “And?”

“And I was thinking that you could get a job there, and I could get that stint in EUCOM, working for the J3 as a recon advisor. My monitor owes me, so I think he could pull the strings to get me there.”

“Really? You’d go there for me?”

“I’d go to Ireland for you, and I’m not a fan of Guinness.”

A tear streaked down her cheek, and she wiped it away. “That’s my Marine. Talking about beer and romance at the same time. For the record, I don’t like dark beers either.”

“Ah, but honey, Germany has beers that’ll knock your socks off.” He hugged her close. “Christ, I about lost my mind when you left. I love you so much, but I was afraid to tell you. I know, I’m a pussy.”

“You said it,” she said against his chest.

“Sir. You have to end that with a
Sir
.” He drew back to run a hand over her cheek. “You’re so fucking pretty.”

“Such flattery.”

“I mean it. I love you. I want to try the things you want. And we’ll do the things I want.” He grabbed her ass and pulled her closer.

She laughed. “How did I know this would get back to sex?”

“Come on. You have to admit we rock the sheets when we’re together. Just thinking about you gets me hard.” He glanced behind him. “Your parents are gone, by the way.”

“I figured,” she said drily. Then she sobered. “You’re sure about this?”

“Yeah. More sure of you than I am about anything else. We’ll argue, and we’ll make up. A lot. I know there are no guarantees, but you’re worth any risk, April.”