A Life More Complete (5 page)

“In the end I ran from my mother. But,
I also picked CSULB and so did Tyler. The kicker is that we broke up before our
senior year of high school ended. Unfortunately for me, he was hard to avoid
and we ended up back together near the end of our freshman year in college. So,
really, I guess you could say a boy led me here.”

“Well, I don’t really care who led
you here or who came before me. I’m just glad it happened,” Ben says smiling as
I lean into him.
       

It’s well after midnight and I’m
exhausted. I finish my second beer, my body pressed against Ben’s. I still need
to go home and as if he can hear my thoughts, he whispers, “Stay with me
tonight?” He has asked many times, too many to count and each time the answer
is the same. But tonight I will.

“Yes,” I mutter.

“Really?”

“Yes, really.” I take his hand in
mine leading him into the house and giggle at his impressive smile and the
excitement that exudes from him. Being with Ben is simple and comfortable,
calming. There was a time in my life when I wanted nothing more than someone
like Ben, yet I ran from him. It stops today and I will give way to what is
right.

I pull him into the bedroom, his arms
wrapping firmly around me, I press my lips to his and softly caress his mouth
with my tongue. He returns the kiss and feel myself melt into him, like I
always do. Tonight will be different, not drunken rough sex or a quickie due to
our work schedules. Ben and I will make love, kind and gentle, quiet voices and
total regard for each other.

The bedroom is chilly and dark, pitch
black, as a breeze blows through the open windows, making me tremble at its
coolness. Even with my fear of the dark threatening, I can’t help but feel safe
in Ben’s arms. His body covers mine as his hands run over me, first my breasts,
my stomach, my hips. My body shakes and I press my hips up to meet him. He senses
my urgency and responds easing into me. I know Ben’s body as well as my own,
but today in the darkness it’s all new. For the first time I feel Ben’s
loneliness, his desperation, the need that drives him to pursue me and I want
him more than ever.

We both lay silently in bed, my head
cradled under his chin, as we give way to the calm. When Ben heads to the
bathroom, the dim light coming from the doorway just barely lights the room. Rolling
over I notice a picture of a young couple on the nightstand. The woman,
absolutely beautiful, long blonde hair and piercing blue eyes with full lips
and a content smile. Her head is resting on the arm of the man next to her, her
arms woven around his. He’s Ben’s twin; tousled dark brown hair, sultry brown
eyes as he stands gazing down at her. I hate photographs, but I’m drawn to this
one. I know Ben’s parents are dead, but I’ve never had the courage to ask what
happened. He in turn has never offered to share that information. He guards
that part of his life with secrecy and I allow him that respect.

Ben emerges from the bathroom wearing
nothing but a pair of boxer briefs and I smile wearily at him. I grab the
picture frame from the nightstand, holding it up I ask, “Are these your parents?”

“Yeah. Olivia and Jesse, the most
amazing couple ever. They were obsessed with each other even after twenty years
of marriage. My father always looked at her like he was seeing her for the
first time, like she was the most beautiful person in the room. I was named
after my mom. Her maiden name was Bennett.” He stares off as if he remembers
something significant. “I hated the way they were when I was younger, always
kissing and hugging; their constant touching made for uncomfortable moments
when I would catch them in the kitchen making out. My brother and I walked in
on them several times in...” he pauses briefly, “compromising positions.” He
flips on the TV and fills the room with an unearthly blue glow. “Once I caught
my mom on top of my dad as he worked in his office. She jumped off of him
quicker than I have ever seen her move and shouted something about helping fix
his chair.”

“What? That’s hilarious! Did you say
anything?”

“No. I just closed the door. It sort
of became the norm. I learned a ton from my parents that I’m pretty sure they
didn’t intend. I used to tell my high school girlfriend to wear shorts with no
underwear, because we could do it without ever taking off our clothes. She
never found that very entertaining. She was a prude.”

“Next time I’ll wear no underwear,” I
say as seductively as I can manage without sounding too slutty.

“Why bother? You end up totally naked
in my bed anyway.”

He rolls onto his side and props
himself up on his elbow. His hand glides absentmindedly between my breasts and
onto my stomach, stopping his hand to cover my belly button. He leans over and
kisses me slowly letting his lips linger on mine. Desire begins to loom over me
like a dark cloud. How does he manage to create that feeling with the most
indiscriminate touch? Rolling onto my side, I slide my body closer to him. He
slips his arm under my head, cradling me against him and pressing his lips to
my forehead. I sigh deeply. I finally feel myself relax, as I grow used to
being this close to someone. I giggle as I recall my first meeting with Ben.

“What?” he asks, pulling back and
glancing down at me.

“I was just thinking about when I
first met you on the beach. Remember? Roxy followed me.” Hearing her name
causes Roxy to feel like it’s an invitation to join us on the bed. She spins at
the foot of the bed and lies down quietly.

“Of course I remember.” He pauses and
kisses my head again. “I have to admit something to you.” I giggle because I
can only imagine what he has to say. “When you dissed me that day, it only made
me want you more, sort of that wanting what you can’t have mentality.”

“Thanks for not stalking me and just
so you know, I kind of wanted you too. You were all wet and shirtless and
looking like you do. I thought about you a lot after that.”

“See and I thought you were a good
girl. But I did stalk you. I just did it in secret. Did you really think it was
a coincidence that I met up with you every morning at the beach?”

“I am a good girl, obviously, I had
no idea you were stalking me. I’m glad you did, I wouldn’t have pursued you.”

“There’s something about you that I
can’t ignore,” he says and his voice turns to a whisper. “I’m drawn to you.”

I close my eyes and a shudder runs
over my body. I knew this day would come, but I’m still not prepared for it. His
words terrify me, but I don’t say anything.

Rolling over, I cover my face with my
arms as a waffle print of sunshine glows on the wall across from Ben’s bed. His
arm is thrown over my stomach and his leg is intertwined with mine. Sunshine? Holy
shit! Without even giving it a second thought, I fling Ben’s wayward body parts
off of mine and jet out of bed. I grab the alarm clock off the nightstand and
launch it back onto its home with a crash.
7:55?
 

“Ben!” I yell startling him even more
as he emerges from sleep. His eyes heavy and his hair all mussed as if someone
just woke him casually. He stretches and every muscle in his body flexes and
tenses. Through a yawn, he finally speaks, “Just call in sick. We can lay here
all day.” His smile, lazy and full of sensual promise that I can’t even begin
to think about or it will be my undoing.

“Why didn’t you set an alarm? Now I’m
late for work and I have no clean clothes, not to mention underwear.”

“Seriously, call in sick. No point in
going in now. Too late already.” He closes his eyes and rolls over pulling the
sheets up to his neck.

“Not everyone is the boss. I have a
boss and she is gonna be pissed.” I scramble to find my clothes that managed to
get strewn around the room in at least eight different locations. I pull on the
same seersucker suit I wore yesterday and cross my fingers that no one notices.
I was only in the office for an hour yesterday.
Who am I kidding? That will be the first thing Melinda and Bob notice.
I can’t get it together fast enough. I pull my hair back into a ponytail and
brush my teeth with Ben’s toothbrush. Stumbling through the room I lean down
and kiss Ben good-bye. He mumbles incoherently as I fly out the bedroom door.

I rifle through my gym bag as I pull
into the parking garage. I find nothing but shorts, a stick of deodorant, a
yoga tank, socks and a pair of running shoes. It’s useless, looks like I’m
doing the walk of shame into my office.

I try to move as quickly as possible,
but Maggie eyes me suspiciously from behind the reception desk. Not sure if
this is because I’m late or if it’s because I’m wearing the same clothes as
yesterday. I try not to dwell on it.

“Morning, Maggie,” I say as breeze
by.

“Good Morning, Kristin. Trini called
about an hour ago, asked me to page you. She said she was sure you were here,
but she couldn’t reach you on your cell or at your desk.” Her voice begins to grow
quiet since I don’t stop to listen.

“Okay. Thanks.”

I make it to my desk virtually
unscathed. I start up my laptop and login to my email. I scroll through emails and
answer some absentmindedly as Bob strolls into my office.

“I come baring gifts. Someone put it
on my desk. I think they’re trying to kill me,” he says holding out a blueberry
muffin. Bob is what he likes to refer to as a “glutard”. He has Celiac disease,
so in his honor I have learned to bake just about any dessert that is gluten
free. I also don’t mind taking one for the team and eating any baked good that
might jeopardize his health.

When I stand and walk toward him he
nearly stumbles backward. “Did you seriously do the walk of shame at work? Have
you no thought to leave clothes in your car? You’ve been friends with Melinda
for how long now and you forgot the one piece of advice she hands out willingly?”
He tsks and shakes his head at me.

I shrug my shoulders while picking at
the top of the muffin, popping a few small bites into my mouth in an attempt to
avoid conversation. “Do I look shamed?” I ask.

“No. You look...” he pauses for a
second, “wrinkled.” He leans down and tries to smooth the lapel of my jacket. “Lose
the jacket. Far too wrinkled to be acceptable.”

“Thanks. Will do,” I say slipping it
off and stuffing it into my laptop bag. Ellie glances into my office for the
second time in thirty seconds. I give Bob a wide-eyed look that says get out
without actually saying it.

“Gotta run. Enjoy your muffin, my little
love muffin,” Bob quips as he heads out the door.

I turn my attention back to the
reason I’m here. My morning goes along quietly. I begin to secure dates for
book signings for one of my newer clients and by the time I’m done it’s
lunchtime. Since I didn’t get my run in this morning I head to my car to grab
my gym bag. I stop off at the deli around the corner from my office and grab a
turkey sandwich. I’ll eat while I change my clothes.

One of the many things I love about
working in the city is the fact that there’s a gym in my office building. I
climb onto the treadmill and glare at the laminated paper taped to the front
stating that I have a 30-minute time limit.
Screw
that
. I need at least an hour, more would be wonderful, but I need to get
back to my desk.

In an hour I make it just over six
miles. I shower and put my day old clothes back on. I look better, still
wrinkled, now without makeup and wet hair. My cell phone rings just as I’m
walking out the door.

“Kristin Mullins,” I answer politely.

“Krissy!” Trini’s voice is shrill. She’s
my only client that calls me Krissy. “I have been trying to call you all
morning. Didn’t Maggie tell you? Oh my God, why didn’t you call me back?” She’s
dramatic as always.

“What’s up?”

“Oh my God, Krissy! The paparazzi
took a picture of me getting out of my car and now my crotch is all over the
tabloids again,” she sighs and whines all at the same time.

“What do you want me to do? I told
you last time this happened to wear underwear every day and try climbing out of
cars more lady-like. I’ll contact the tabloids with a cease and desist letter,
but that’s about all I can do.”

“Okay, but I...uh I don’t know. Why
does this keep happening to me?” She’s whining again.
      

“Um, because you keep going out in
public without underwear.” I would never speak to my other clients the way I
speak to Trini. Even this is subdued when it comes to Trini. She does stupid
things and then regrets them later. Someone like me is always there to pick up
the pieces.

“I know. Sorry. Love you, Krissy.” She
makes a kissing noise into the phone and I roll my eyes. I love her, but
sometimes she is exasperating.

It’s after five by the time I finish
up dealing with Trini’s latest mishap. The tabloids agreed to remove the
pictures from their websites, but the magazines went to print already. I call
her with the news as I shut down my computer. She’s not as whiny and I know
when I hear her voice she’s been drinking.