A LaLa Land Addiction (15 page)

“What are you doing?!” Bleu shouted as she crawled frantically off the bed. She scrambled to the bathroom and jumped directly into the shower. She turned the water on so hot that it burned as it hit her skin. She scrubbed her body and then rested her hands on the walls as she dipped her head. She wished that it was as easy to cleanse the inside of her as it was to wash away the outside. Bleu was rotten. She was so lost that she didn't even think she deserved a good life anymore.

Bleu hopped out of the shower and didn't bother to cover her body before walking back into the bedroom. Cinco had seen every part of her anyway. There was no point in being coy now.

Cinco smirked at the work of art in front of him. She was gone forever. Her bad-girl swag was much more interesting anyway.

“I better duck out before your boy slide through,” Cinco said.

“He ain't coming. He's too busy with your bitch of a sister. I gave him a choice. His wife or me. You see how that turned out,” Bleu said.

“Only reason that nigga still married to Tan is because of Sandoza,” Cinco said. “That don't stop a nigga from keeping some pussy on the side.”

“Why are you talking?” Bleu asked. “We don't talk.” Bleu went into her drawer and pulled out a casual denim jumper.

“I'm just saying. Seem like Tan is in the way. Get her out of the picture and you'll have Iman to yourself,” Cinco said.

“It's that easy, huh?” Bleu said as she rolled her eyes. “And how do you suggest I get her out of the picture?”

“Murk her.” Bleu froze as she studied him. He said it so casual, as if he were talking about the weather.

“She's your sister,” Bleu said, shocked.

“My sister's a bitch,” Cinco replied with a dismissive wave of the hand. “Something happens to Tan on Iman's watch and Sandoza will never forgive him. He'll be out of business for good and I can get what's rightfully mine. Tan will be gone. You can go running back to your man. It's a win-win for everybody, shorty.”

Bleu was speechless. She didn't know what to say. Was he joking? Was this some kind of test? She had never seen treachery of this kind. It was during moments like these that she remembered whom she was dealing with. Cinco wasn't wrapped too tight.
If he would do his own sister like that, imagine what he would do to me,
she thought.

“If I got to do all that, I don't want Iman,” Bleu said.

“Whether you want that nigga or not, you're gonna do it,” Cinco said. The threatening tone of his voice let her know he meant every word.

“Are you threatening me?” Bleu asked, her voice trembling slightly.

“Call it what you want,” Cinco stated. “But I don't think you want me to tell Iman you been exchanging pussy for dope. I can tell him exactly how sweet that pussy taste and about that pretty little mole you got.”

Bleu's stomach went hollow. Iman knew her body well. The birthmark between her legs was right on her outer labia. He would know exactly what mole Cinco was describing and there was only one way for him to know it was there.

“This is crazy. Is this some kind of game to you?” she asked.

“No games,” Cinco said. “I'm dead ass.”

Bleu was livid with Iman, but in no way did she want him to find out about her dealings with Cinco. She would do almost anything to keep this secret from Iman. She had hit rock bottom. Sure, she was living lavishly in a sky-rise apartment and she had more labels in her closet than you would see on a runway, but her peril rested beyond the surface. If Iman had been around he would have seen through her. He would have noticed the shift in her, but since their fight he had been MIA. She didn't know if he was leaving her alone or if he just needed time to figure things out, but either way it hurt. She just wanted to be with the man she loved, but could she kill for him? Was he worth that much?

“Look, you ain't even got to do the dirty work, but you can help me out. I know Iman keeps his safe in the house. I know you know where it is. I need to empty that shit while we in there to make it look like Tan was murdered in a robbery gone bad. We'll go in and you can hit the safe while I take care of Tan. I don't even need the bread. You can have that shit. I just need it to look legit. You can't lose, shorty. You get to keep your nigga and you leave out the spot with enough paper to change your life. Ain't you tired of not having your own dough? This nigga babysitting you like you not old enough to handle no cash? After this you won't have to ask him for anything,” Cinco said.

“I just don't know if I can,” Bleu said. “Please don't make me be a part of this.”

Cinco nodded and picked up his phone. He put it on speaker as he dialed a number and listened as the phone rang.

“What's good, familia?”

The sound of Iman's voice sent Bleu into a panic as she reached for the phone.

“Hey, bruh. I got something I want to rap with you about. You remember that little bitch you used to fuck with?” Cinco asked.

“Please don't,” she whispered. Cinco pushed her off.

“Nah, who you talking about?” Iman asked. “You know I don't fuck around out here with these birds.”

“What's her name?” Cinco said as he snapped his fingers. “College girl?”

Bleu's eyes widened as she whispered, “I'll do it.”

“You know the bitch that used to move weight for me. China,” Cinco said.

“I never fucked with her, but yeah, what about her?” Iman asked.

“Just letting you know I got the goons on her head. I got a bone to pick with her, so if you hear word about her let me know,” Cinco said, changing the context of his conversation.

Bleu heard Cinco end the call and he smiled sinisterly. “Glad we're on the same page.”

“What if Iman is there? He can't get hurt. I won't be a part of any plot where something might happen to him. He isn't going to just lie down while we run in his house. It won't be as easy as you're trying to make it seem,” Bleu protested. “Just think about this for a minute.” Bleu knew that no amount of reasoning was going to change Cinco's mind.

“We'll do it when he goes out of town in a week. He's meeting with my father in Mexico. It'll be the perfect time,” Cinco replied.

It was then that Bleu realized that smoking dope would lead to her downfall. If she was willing to betray Iman, what else would she be willing to do? Sienna flashed in her mind and suddenly she felt guilty for harboring resentment toward her mother. What morals had Sienna sacrificed in order to smoke even a morsel of crack? Was this desperation the same feeling Bleu's father had that fated day he had committed the bank robbery that led to his death by police? It took her living a little, messing up a little, to understand her parents' plight. She had no idea what had occurred that led up to those moments. Bleu could see herself falling victim to the flip side of the game, but she couldn't stop herself from craving the glass dick. She was too far gone. It was no longer fun because now she felt like she needed it. It was what she used to keep herself from feeling everything. Hurt, anger, neglect, pain, and lately the most prevalent emotion that overcame her was guilt. The guilt of not being who everyone had expected her to be, for not being perfect, and for turning out just like her parents. She loved and hated them all in that one moment. She hated them for exposing her to a life of drugs, but she loved them because she now knew that every wrong thing they had done they hadn't meant to do. Perhaps they hadn't even wanted to do them. Her parents had loved her the only way they knew how, but love from a dope fiend only went so far, because no matter how much they loved Bleu, they would always love something else greater … dope. It was the way she felt about Iman, and as a tear slid down her face she knew that even after she got Tan out the way she would never be good enough for him.

She looked at Cinco and sniffed as she wiped the tear away. “After I get the money from this safe I'm done. We're done with this,” she said, pointing between them. “I'll buy my shit like everybody else.” She stormed out of the living room, letting him know that the night was over. “And leave a couple bags on the countertop before you leave!”

 

13

Bleu stood staring at herself in the mirror. Black gloves, black mask. She hardly recognized herself.

“What are you doing?” she said aloud, hoping that the good angel sitting on her right shoulder could outweigh the devil sitting on her left. The only thing that could be seen was her eyes and even she didn't recognize the look of desperation reflecting back.

She pulled the ski mask off her face and stuffed it into the front of her black hoodie and she hurriedly walked outside. Cinco waited curbside for her. She paused when she saw him, even turned to go back inside, but he flashed his headlights directly on her, halting her midstep.

Bleu sighed and joined him in the car, knowing that he could make life hell for her if she did anything other than cooperate.

“Get your mind right,” Cinco said as he passed her a crack-laced blunt. It wasn't her preference, but she didn't turn it down. She hadn't smoked all day. Bleu had been trying to clear her mind long enough to talk herself out of this insane dilemma. She knew her involvement was wrong, but the thought of Cinco telling Iman who she really was made her feel as if she didn't have a choice.

“Whose car is this?” Bleu asked.

“Don't worry about it. It's stolen,” Cinco said.

The long ride from L.A. to Calabasas was silent. Bleu was lost in thought. Her gut instinct told her to turn around, but she was in it now, she had agreed, and Cinco was taking her whether she wanted to go or not.

When they pulled up to Iman's mansion Bleu felt sick. Iman had welcomed her here, and now she had come to bring terror into his home.

“I can't do this. You can tell Iman whatever you want. I'm not going in there,” Bleu whispered as she grappled with the notion of her betrayal.

Cinco was on her before she could even reach for the door handle. He smashed her head against the window.

“Agh!” she screamed. She saw stars as she tried to fight Cinco off.

“Calm your ass down!” Cinco growled as he forced her head down between her legs. She clawed at his hands, trying to loosen his grip on her, but the car was too small for her to put up much of a fight.

Cinco pulled his pistol and placed it point-blank against her head. “Get out of the car. Let's handle this business. You do what we discussed or I'll leave you leaking out this, bitch,” Cinco threatened. “Now put on your mask.”

They climbed out of the car and Cinco pushed her forward, keeping the gun on her back so that she couldn't turn back.

He walked her up to the door. “We'll use the extra key that's hidden in the flower bed to get in. You know the security code. As soon as we step inside, turn the system off,” Cinco instructed. “We'll put the key back and make it look like a break-in on the way out.”

Bleu nodded and fought the urge to cry as she retrieved the key.
Ain't no point in crying now. I did this to myself,
she thought, ashamed. Not even the effects of the laced blunt made this easier. She wished she could turn back the hands of time. She would have rather not ever met Iman than cross him in this way.

Bleu used the key and then slid into the home. To both of their surprise, the alarm hadn't been set. Bleu heard the sound of music coming from the second floor and Cinco pushed her forward in that direction.

She paused when she came to the master bedroom door. She opened the door. The sound of the shower running could be heard as they crept inside.

Cinco walked into the bathroom calmly, barely making any noise. Bleu couldn't see this part. She couldn't make her feet move to join Cinco, so instead she sat on the edge of the bed and covered her ears. She squeezed her eyes closed. She couldn't bear witness to Tan's murder. It was cruel. Bleu felt like she would be sick.

Cinco stood watching Tan as she hummed a melody while holding her head under the stream of water. Her eyes were closed and Cinco was glad that she didn't see it coming. He lifted his arm and didn't hesitate.

Psst!

He sent an almost silent bullet crashing through Tan's forehead before she ever had a chance to react. Her body crashed through the glass shower and Bleu rushed into the bathroom. Bleu's hands flew to her mouth as she saw Tan's body hanging halfway out of the basin of the tub. Blood and water spilled everywhere and the steam from the shower seemed to suffocate Bleu. She couldn't breathe. It felt like there was a ball in her throat, stopping air from getting in. Bleu couldn't stop the bile from rising from the back of her throat. She rushed to the sink, pulling off her mask before she vomited on herself. “This isn't going to work. We aren't going to get away with this!” Bleu cried as she paced back and forth in a worried frenzy as she watched Cinco bend over Tan's body to make sure she was dead. “Why did I do this? What the hell was I thinking?” She gripped the sides of the sink as she shook her head in disgrace. This was the single most terrifying moment of her life. She had wanted Tan out of the way, but to contribute to her murder? Bleu couldn't believe this had ever sounded sane to her. The mixture of jealousy and the drugs had clouded her judgment. She wanted Tan's life and now she had done the unthinkable to get it.

“What about your father? He's going to find us and kill us.” Bleu was hyperventilating as thoughts of the repercussions flooded her. Everything done in the dark eventually came to light. This sin would not be a secret for long. Tan was too connected, too important, for her death to be swept under the rug.

Cinco pulled Bleu by the hair. He was regretless as he forced Bleu to gather herself. “Get your ass up! Put your ski mask back on and get your shit together. Where's the safe?” Cinco asked urgently. Aggression fueled him. Hatred. Jealousy. Those were his motives, but pure fear was the only thing that made Bleu move her feet toward Iman's study. She just wanted to get out of there. One foot in front of the other, she rushed in a daze. It was like she was running through a matrix. She was high and afraid and anxious all at the same time. It was a Molotov cocktail of emotions.
Please just let this be a bad dream. This isn't real. Please don't let this be real. How could I be a part of this?
she thought. Now none of the reasons she had come up with before seemed to make sense. How had she ever convinced herself that she should do this?