A Kauffman Amish Christmas Collection (7 page)

“What did you say, Amanda Joy?” David’s gruff voice rumbled from behind Kathryn, causing her to jump.

Kathryn spun around and her mouth dried. David was glowering at her from the doorway.

“What did Amanda say about
mei schweschder
?” he asked, his brown eyes slicing through her with indignation.

Kathryn inwardly shuddered. Feigning indifference, she kept her expression serene. “She was discussing when our company would arrive,” she said, standing up straighter and mustering all of the courage she could find inside herself. “Amanda was telling me that she thinks you have a right to know that Anna Mae and Kellan are going to join us for
Christmas this year.” The truth was now out in the open. She felt a mixture of relief and anxiety at the opportunity to finally say the words out loud.

David’s expression hardened. “Kathryn, how many times do we have to discuss this?” His voice was low and full of frustration and fury. “I’ve already told you that I am against this visit. I can’t think of how I could make it more clear to you.”

“You’ve made yourself perfectly clear. However, the plans have been made.” She looked at Amanda, who was studying her hands in her lap. “Amanda, our company will arrive sometime Wednesday afternoon.”

Amanda met her gaze with a worried expression, and Kathryn smiled, hoping to calm her. Ruthie and Lizzie entered the family room with wide smiles on their faces.

“Company?” Ruthie asked.

“Who’s coming?” Lizzie chimed in.

“Your
Aenti
Anna Mae and
Onkel
Kellan from Baltimore are coming to spend Christmas with us,” Kathryn said, ignoring the feel of David’s angry stare boring into her. “
Aenti
Anna Mae is your
dat’s
youngest
schweschder
.”

“The one who was shunned?” Ruthie asked.

“Ya.”
Kathryn nodded. “That’s right.”

“Are they staying here?” Lizzie asked while sinking down onto the sofa next to Amanda.

“They can sleep in my bed with me,” Ruthie said, walking over to Kathryn.

Kathryn smiled. “That’s very thoughtful, Ruthie, but they’re staying at a bed and breakfast in Paradise.”

“But we’ll see them,
ya
?” Ruthie asked.

“
Ya
, we will see them,” Kathryn said. She pushed a lock of hair back from where it had fallen from beneath her prayer
kapp
while avoiding David’s eyes. “They’ll be visiting for a few days.”

“Kathryn,” David said, his calmness forced. “Kathryn, please look at me.”

“
Ya
.” She turned to him, finding disappointment and hurt reflecting in his eyes. Guilt and determination battled inside her. While she knew keeping the information from him was wrong, she was certain she was doing God’s will. God was using her to heal the family, and David needed to understand that.

His frown deepened. “We will discuss this later at length.” Kathryn nodded while forcing a smile. “I’m certain we will.”

“Call me when supper is ready,” David said, stomping through the family room toward the stairs.

Kathryn glanced at Lizzie. “Would you and Ruthie please set the table?” While her two younger daughters headed for the kitchen, she turned to Amanda. “Now he knows.”

Amanda nodded, her cheeks still glowing red. “He was very angry. I made it worse, didn’t I?”

Kathryn shook her head. “No, you didn’t make it worse, but this wasn’t the way I wanted him to find out.”

Amanda’s lower lip quivered, and her eyes filled with tears. “I’m sorry,
Mamm
.”

Kathryn touched Amanda’s arm. “You didn’t do anything wrong. You were right to talk to me about it if it bothered you.”

“I didn’t know he was standing there until it was too late,”
Amanda said with a sniff. “He must’ve come in quietly and heard us talking.”

“I’m certain he did.” Kathryn gestured toward the door. “Come help me make the dumplings. The ham loaf smells like it’s almost done.”

Amanda stood and walked with her toward the kitchen. Kathryn was certain that David would be quiet during supper and leave the discussion of Anna Mae’s visit for bedtime. Dread filled Kathryn at the thought of facing him. She hoped David would understand why she’d gone against his wishes.

Kathryn ran a brush through her waist-length hair and studied her reflection. Clad in her nightgown, she glanced toward the door for the fourth time. The clock on the wall told her it was nearly nine, David’s daily bedtime.

He’d barely spoken to her during supper and had only given terse answers to her lame attempts at fostering a conversation. Instead of conversing with her, he’d spoken to the children about their day. After supper, David had disappeared outside with Junior, which they often did in the evenings. However, she’d heard Junior come back into the house and disappear into his room awhile ago, but she’d not seen David.

Stepping over to the window, she moved the dark green shade and peeked outside. The barn and backfield were dark with no sign of a lantern.

The bedroom door squeaked open and banged shut, and Kathryn jumped with a start.

“Sorry,” David mumbled, scowling. “I didn’t mean to
slam it.” He stepped over to his bureau and pulled off his suspenders.

Her heart pounded as she sat on the edge of the bed. “Where were you?”

“In the barn,” he muttered, shucking off his shirt.

She pushed an errant lock of golden blonde hair behind her shoulder. “What were you doing in the barn?”

“Thinking.” He changed into his pajama pants. “Actually, trying to figure something out.”

The tension between them was suffocating her. She had to apologize to him and make things right. She took a deep breath. “David, I —”

“Would you like to know what I was trying to figure out?”

“David, please —”

He stood before her and held a hand up to keep her from talking. “Let me finish.”

Knowing she wasn’t going to earn a chance to speak her mind, Kathryn crossed her arms in front of her chest. “Go on.”

“I was trying to figure out why you would go behind my back and do something I’d asked you not to do, especially after we’d discussed it several times.” Still glowering, he pulled up a chair and sat before her. “I’d asked you not to invite Anna Mae. I told you, no I
promised
you, that we would visit her this spring. I also said that once we visited her and Kellan, we would make plans for her to come back to the community to visit the family. From what I remember, you said that would be a
gut
plan.”

Kathryn opened her mouth to defend herself, and he again held up his hand to stop her.

“Please let me finish.” He sat up straight. “What I’ve been trying to figure out is why you went against my wishes. What makes it even worse is that you not only broke a promise and went behind my back, but you involved our
kinner
in your lies.” He shook his head, disappointment clouding his handsome face. “What hurts the most is that you lied. In our fifteen years of marriage, I never once lied to you or went behind your back. You’ve always been the one person I’ve trusted most, the one I knew I could count on.”

Shaking his head, he paused. “Now, I’m trying to figure out who you are. The
maedel
I married would have never lied to me, not like this. You knew how serious I was about this and how much I was against inviting Anna Mae home during the holidays. This is going to cause a huge blowup with my
daed
, and I’m not prepared to deal with that.”

The knot forming in her throat choked off her words for a moment. She cleared her throat before she tried to speak again. “David, I’ve never lied to you before,” she began, her voice trembling with guilt. “You’re the most important person in my life, aside from our
kinner
. You know that and you know me.” She pointed to her chest. “You know my heart.”

“But we talked about it over and over again. I told you more than once that it was not a
gut
plan. We decided that we would wait until spring. Why did you go back on your word?”

“I never agreed to spring.” She reached for him, and he stood, backing away from her touch. “David, will you let me explain?”

Folding his arms, he leaned back against the wall and scowled. “I’m listening.”

She stood in front of him. “I know in my heart that what I’m doing is right. It’s God’s will that Anna Mae and Kellan are coming here.” She took his hand in hers. “God spoke to me.”

He raised an eyebrow with curiosity. “What do you mean?”

“I prayed about it and asked Him to give me a sign.” Hot tears spilled from her eyes. “The very next day, your
mamm
came to the bakery and told me she’s been thinking of Anna Mae and Kellan and wondering how they’re doing. She was near tears and said she longed to see Anna Mae again. She said she had to know if Anna Mae was happy with her life with Kellan.” She squeezed his hand. “That was the sign from God I needed. That was how I knew what I was doing was right.”

He considered her words and his frown deepened. “A sign from God?” He snorted with disbelief. “I don’t know about that, Kathryn. God has a plan, and it’s His plan. He doesn’t need to send us signs.”

“
Ya
, He does! You have to believe me. I never meant to hurt you and I don’t want to ever lose your trust in me.” More tears splattered her cheeks. “Can’t you see that? Can’t you see I did this for you and our family? This is what God wants me to do.”

“I don’t believe God has to send us signs for us to do His work. His rules for how we should live our lives are contained in the Bible. Whether you believe He sent a sign or not doesn’t matter. You deliberately went against my wishes, and I’m angry and hurt.” His expression remained hard as stone. “Why did you keep your secret from me?”

“I followed my heart because I didn’t want you to talk me out of it. I wanted to do it, no matter what you said.” She cleared her throat. “I wanted to do it for Mary Rose. I can’t imagine how I would feel if one of our
kinner
had moved away and left the community. I would worry about her too. Your
mamm
has a right to meet her future grandchild.”

He shook his head. “That’s not for you to decide. Now Christmas is going to be a disaster.”

“That’s not true.” Kathryn wiped her tears. “Vera agrees that this visit is a good idea too. She thinks it’ll be good for your parents.”

His eyes widened. “You told Vera?” He frowned. “Who else have you told?”

“My mother knows too,” she whispered.

He threw his hands up. “Why don’t you just paint a sign on the side of the barn so that the whole district knows!”

“David,” she hissed. “You’re going to wake the
kinner
!”

“Why not tell them too?” he continued, his voice booming off the walls. “The rest of the district already knows.” He started toward the door. “I’ll go tell my father now.”

“David!” Kathryn rushed after him and pulled him back. “Now you’re acting
narrisch
!”

“I’m
narrisch
?” He snorted with sarcasm. “I’m not seeing signs from God involving everyone but my spouse in secret plans.” He shook his head. “I especially don’t like that you involved Amanda. I don’t want you to teach our
dochdern
to defy their future husbands.”

Kathryn shook her head. He didn’t comprehend her motive, and she couldn’t think of anything else to say to try to
get through to him. “You don’t understand why I did this at all, do you?”

“No, I don’t.” He folded his arms across his wide chest. “What will this visit entail? I know she’s arriving Wednesday and staying in Paradise. What else have you planned without my knowledge?”

“We’re hosting them for supper Wednesday. Thursday night we’ll also invite your parents.”

He raised an eyebrow. “I’m sure your mother supports all of this.”

“She also believes it’s God’s will for our family to heal.” She reached for his arm, but he stepped away from her touch. “I truly believe that, David. That’s why I did it. My best intentions were for our family. I didn’t want to cause you to be upset with me.”

“You know my daed.” He frowned. “He won’t be as
eiferich
as the rest of the Beilers.”

“We can all pray for his heart to be opened and warmed by the sight of his youngest
dochder
and his future grandchild.”

“This is going to be a huge mistake.” He shook his head and started for the door.

“Where are you going?” she asked.

“Downstairs to read my Bible and think,” he said.

“But it’s after nine,” she said.

“I’m not ready to sleep. You go ahead to bed,” he said.

She watched him disappear into the hallway and close the door behind him. Sighing, she climbed into bed. For the first time in their sixteen years of marriage, she was going to bed alone. Ironically, Kathryn’s plans for bringing the family together had seemed to tear David and her apart. Tears filled
her eyes at the thought of the chasm she’d put between herself and her husband.

Shivering, she pulled the quilt up to her chin and closed her eyes, hoping somehow Christmas would turn out better than David expected.

A
nna Mae’s stomach fluttered as their burgundy Chevrolet Equinox took another winding hill. She gripped the door handle as more snow flurries peppered the windshield.

“You okay?” Kellan reached over and covered her hand with his warm palm.

“Don’t you think you should slow down?” she asked. “The snow is picking up.”

“We’re fine,” he said with a confident smile. “I know how to drive in snow. You forget I went to college in Maine. This is nothing compared to the blizzards I saw up there.”

“I hear it’s going to snow most of the week and may be pretty bad on Christmas.” Anna Mae turned to him. “Now, you remember that Amish Christmases are different from English Christmases. They don’t put up a tree or include Santa. They may do a little bit of decorating with poinsettias and candles, but you won’t see any Christmas lights. To the Amish, it’s more about family and Jesus’ birth, not Santa and gifts.”

Kellan nodded. “I remember that. You’ve explained it to me before.”