A House of Cards: Deconstructing Ethan (30 page)
Read A House of Cards: Deconstructing Ethan Online
Authors: J. P. Barnaby
Tags: #erotic, #Bdsm, #m/m
I closed my eyes and stroked his hair and he ran his fingers over my chest, absent movements filling the time in which we could think of nothing to say. Our relationship had just transitioned into something completely different than what it had been. For the first time since I’d known him, I felt shy and awkward with him. It felt like we were going to have to get to know each other again, to discover each other in a whole new way and it scared me.
“Don’t you have class today?” I asked him, looking down at his sheepish expression.
“I am not interested in anything that requires me to move from this bed,” he said and then realizing what he’d said, his eyes widened and I chuckled at the look on his face.
“Fine by me,” I said, rolling on top of him. He moaned and then picked his head up off of the pillows to kiss me hard. “If I’m right in my scorekeeping, I’m pretty sure it’s your turn to make love to me.”
His shocked expression caused me to grin widely as I leaned down once again to press my lips to his. My whole life I had solved my problems with sex.
However that wasn’t sex.
It was something much more and it would allow us to start that process of getting to know each other on a different level. I knew all of the physical aspects of his body, but now I wanted to know how those physical actions translated to making love. I looked forward to spending a lot of time learning everything there was to know about him. We made love for most of the afternoon, stopping only to lay in each others’ arms and talk. For the very first time, I felt like I was ready to have a real relationship with someone and it was only fitting that someone should be Jayden. Things were still a little uncomfortable, a little awkward between us, but I was confident that after a while, he and I would be the perfect fit.
“Come on, angel,” I said as the sun started to fade through the bedroom curtain. “I’m starving. All of this sex has worked up my appetite.” He laughed and I joined in. The talk from earlier had taken so much weight off of our shoulders. We were free – free of the fear, free of the guilt and free of the aching loneliness.
“Ethan, is there a reason why you call me that?” Jayden asked curiously, his lips moving gently over my chest. Incredibly, I started to get hard again. I stopped his movements, trying to concentrate on his question.
“I call you that because you are my angel, Jayden. You walked into my life when I was a broken, empty shell and you saved me. You and Lexi saved me from being that terrified little boy for the rest of my life. You have no idea how thankful I am to you, both of you.” He moved up slightly in the bed and took my face in his hands. Leaning in slowly, he kissed me very softly.
“I’m glad,” he said with a hint of a smile. “I love the man you’ve become.”
“I…I think I like him too.”
Epilogue
Journal Entry – My final entry
As I sit here in our suite waiting for Jayden to wake, I see my future so clearly in the soft angles of his face, in the gentle movement of his hair caused by the soft Mediterranean breeze, and most of all, in the steady rise and fall of his perfectly sculpted chest. It’s been two years since I realized that I was desperately in love with Jayden and, in that time, he’s turned out to be everything that I never knew I wanted. Having someone who loves me because he chooses to love me has been incredibly successful in helping to heal my wounds.
The last three months have been a whirlwind of love and laughter. Jayden was stunned when he woke on a brisk March morning to find me holding a small velvet box. His eyes went wide as saucers and his chest rose and fell rapidly as he processed the implication of the gesture. After all of the drama that had happened in our lives, I decided that when I asked him to marry me, simpler would be better. The rings could not have been more perfect, titanium bands with a braided strip of warm brown leather in the center. They were a culmination of our commitments to each other, both as Dominant and submissive and as partners.
“Do these mean what I think they mean?” he had asked, his voice breathless and a little shaky. I didn’t have the heart to draw it out to tease him a little. To be honest, I was a bit frightened that after all we had been through, he might say no.
“I know that it won’t be legal, but if you’re thinking I’m going to ask you to marry me, then yes, they mean what you think they do,” I told him with a nervous laugh. He took the box from my hand and ran his finger along the rings.
“Jayden, you showed me how to love…something I never thought was possible for me. You helped to give back so much of myself that was taken during my childhood. In other words, with you, Jayden, I am whole.”
Reaching out, I stroked his cheek with my fingers, holding his temperate blue gaze. “You mean everything to me and I want to continue to show you that for the rest of our lives. Will you take a chance on forever with me, Jayden?
Will you marry me?”
I waited for what seemed like a lifetime, as his breath caught in his chest and he simply stared at me. Then, he launched himself at me, pinning me beneath him as he kissed me over and over. Chuckling, I waited until he stopped to let us both breathe.
“Not that I don’t love kissing you but, is that a yes?” I asked and my smile could not be contained.
“Of course it’s a yes,” he said, leaning down to kiss me, sealing our promise of forever. It was more than I could have dreamed for.
We would have been married in the days following, just the two of us in a small ceremony, to make it official. Of course my mother and Kimberly would not hear of it. After all that my mother went through with me throughout my life, I didn’t think that a wedding was too much to ask for. So we waited and, just a week ago, flew back to Chicago where my mother and Jayden’s sister had worked together to give us a beautiful ceremony. It was small and simple, but thoughtfully and artfully arranged; from the red and silver tipped roses to the perfectly matching suits. However, it wasn’t the color scheme or the caterer that made the evening perfect. It was the expression of absolute joy on my mother’s face as she stood next to me while Jayden and I committed ourselves to one another.
My mother stood by my side and Kimberly stood by Jayden’s, as they had done all of our lives.
After the ceremony, we stayed to be with our small gathering of family and friends for a short time before Josh drove us to the airport. The plane to Greece would take until the next morning, but it didn’t matter.
The first time Jayden and I ever had sex, he had been bound in my playroom. While I could not bring myself to regret that because it brought us together, we spent our first night together in our marital bed making sweet and sensual love to each other. We were both tired from the flight, but we could not stop ourselves from sharing that first moment of intimacy.
Last night, however, once we were both rested and relaxed, was the most amazing night of our lives together. It had started out as any other night might have. We had spent the day getting massages at the spa in the resort. At first, it felt strange to have a complete stranger touching my body in such an intimate fashion, but with Jayden there, I felt safe. It relaxed me more than I had expected and I’d even fallen asleep at one point. Then we spent the evening swimming and drinking a bit of wine in our private infinity pool just outside of our suite.
As I was changing from my suit into something dry, I felt Jayden’s arms wrap around my waist, his warm hands still dripping water, caused my skin to tingle.
“Not just yet,” he whispered in my ear. He knelt to pull my swim trunks down off my hips and along my legs, flinging them onto the floor in the bathroom to our left. I heard it splatter on the perfectly smooth marble, just as I felt Jayden’s lips trail soft, warm kisses along my lower back, remember marveling at how much I loved the feeling of his lips and his breath as they warmed me. As he traveled down each of my legs, I thought that they might fail me.
Within minutes we were both naked and he was on top of me on the bed. It was one of the most comfortable beds I’d ever been in with the Egyptian cotton sheets and padded mattress. We just seemed to sink into its depths as we became one on its pristine white surface.
That’s what it feels like to me, that we are one soul. I was incomplete before I found the sanctity of Jayden’s love to fill in the gaps, like mortar between bricks. Alone they stand inflexible and alienated, but bonded with the mortar, they come together to form a whole – just like the shattered remnants of my soul.
Whether it was in the playroom, in the bedroom or even in our honeymoon suite here in Athens, I have finally found my way home.
J. P. Barnaby
Erotic fiction is more than just moans, grunts, and physical pleasure. To J. P. Barnaby, erotic fiction consists not only of the mechanics of physical love, but the complex characters and relationships that lead to those all encompassing feelings of need and longing. Sex without context is merely sex -but sex coupled with attraction, with explosive repercussions -that is good erotic fiction.
J. P. authors all different kinds of erotic fiction -gay, straight, male, female, romantic, and dark. This second novel in the
Forbidden Room Series
, is a culmination of practical experience and wild fantasy merging together to draw the reader in to Ethan's and Jayden's world of erotic BDSM.
For more information on J. P. Barnaby: Official Website: http://www.JPBarnaby.com Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/JPBarnaby
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