A Heart Once Broken (33 page)

Sandra pressed back the tears. “You're such a dear, Rosemary. I'm still going to pray your life is spared. May the Lord be with you.”

“He is.” Rosemary tried to sit again, but failed. “He has already comforted me greatly.”

Sandra squeezed Rosemary's hand and slipped out of the bedroom. Rosemary had her eyes closed and looked exhausted, so Sandra closed the door quietly and tiptoed down the stairs. What a self-sacrificing girl Rosemary was, but she would not speak to Lydia about Ezra until she knew for sure…she couldn't bring herself to think the awful thought.

Sandra stepped out of the stairwell and peeked into the kitchen. Ann was still there with flour dough all over her apron and with several of her smaller siblings gathered about. They seemed more interested in sneaking small bits of crumbs than in any help they could give.

“I'm going now,” Sandra whispered.

Ann glanced up with a smile. “Thanks for coming.
Mamm
's in town right now, but she'll be back soon. I'll tell her you were here.”

“Behave yourselves, now.” Sandra wagged her finger at the little fellows on the chairs.

They grinned but said nothing.

Once outside, Sandra pulled the buggy blanket off Dixie's back and turned him around before she climbed in. The snow still had not let up. She had been too distracted to notice at first. The sight of Rosemary sick in bed gripped her. How shamed she should be for her own selfishness. Even in her illness Rosemary spent time in thanksgiving for what life had given her, and in considering the wellbeing of others. What a lesson Rosemary was for Sandra. Thankfully
she had done one thing right, by choosing what the Lord had given her in Clyde. That had been a big step in the right direction. Maybe that was why the Lord placed people like Rosemary on this earth, so they could leave behind a godly example for others to follow.

Sandra rubbed her hand across her cheek as the wind whipped through the cracks in the buggy door. Stray snowflakes stung her face. She was trying hard to love and accept Clyde, but now she would redouble her efforts. If Rosemary could display such grace in her life while facing a terminal illness, she should get down on her knees and thank the Lord each day for the blessing He was sending her way in Clyde.

Sandra pulled back on the reins again as she approached
Mamm
and Amos's place on Todd Road. She turned in to stop near the barn. She'd better unhitch this time. Dixie would be warmer inside the barn. The extra effort was worth the horse's comfort. She climbed down the buggy step again as the barn door burst open to reveal Clyde hurrying toward her.

Clyde greeted Sandra with delight. “You're early!”

Sandra, remembering her encounter with Rosemary, smiled at him. “How could I not be early with such a handsome and caring man waiting for me?”

Clyde glowed with happiness, and Sandra slipped off her glove to brush his cheek. “Thanks for coming out to help me unhitch.”

“Wow!” Clyde shook his head. “What a welcome!”

“Just be thankful,” Sandra told him. “That's the lesson I've been learning.”

Chapter Thirty-Two

R
osemary sat on the edge of the bed with a glass of water on the chair beside her.
Mamm
had told her a few moments earlier that Ezra was due to arrive soon.

Ezra hadn't been over since Sunday afternoon. A great longing to see him had gripped her since yesterday. She wanted to hold his hand again. She wanted to feel the strength in his fingers. Ezra was strong where she was weak. Ezra exuded health and vigor as her body gave out more and more each day.

I must not give in to dark thoughts about my increasing weakness,
Rosemary reminded herself. She had felt better this past week, and tonight she could sit up. Maybe the experimental medicine had begun to work. Was there hope after all? Rosemary pushed the thought away. She must prepare for the worst, and her talk with Sandra last week had been the first step. Now she must encourage Ezra to pursue a relationship with Lydia if she was taken in death. She should have brought up the subject with Ezra on Sunday, but weariness had overtaken her. And she couldn't bring herself to say the words while Ezra had been sitting so close to her. What if she really did become well? What if they could go on?

The thought made Rosemary dizzy, and she lay down again. Would she be Ezra's
frau
someday? It seemed so impossible after the ravages the disease had caused in her body, but hope knocked on the door. She couldn't deny the fact. Soon Ezra would come through the door and notice that she looked much better—because she did. Both
Mamm
and Ann had said so today.

Manly footsteps came up the stairs, and Rosemary sat up again. Ezra only knocked once and came in before she said anything.

“Rosemary?” he said, coming to a stop a foot away. He appeared to study her.

Do I look better?
The words wanted to leap from her lips, as she gazed up at him.

“You're looking
goot
,” Ezra finally said, hope in his voice. “And you're sitting up.”

Rosemary reached for his hand and held it while Ezra sat down beside her. “I was hoping you'd say so,” she whispered. “
Mamm
and Ann said the same thing.”

A smile formed on Ezra's face. “You
are
much better.” Ezra's arm slipped around Rosemary's shoulder.

Rosemary leaned against him. “Do you really think so? Oh, I hope so!”

“The Lord does work miracles,” Ezra assured her. “We must not doubt that. We must think happy thoughts of the future.” Ezra held both of Rosemary's hands. “We must speak of the day you are well and all this sickness is driven from your body. And pray, of course, that the Lord will continue to use the medicine to accomplish His will.”

“His will, then, is that I get well?” Rosemary clung to him. “Can I hope for such a thing?”

Ezra's face grew solemn. “We must follow the signs the Lord
gives, and if you are feeling better, then perhaps this is His will. But that's up to the Lord. It's not our best thinking that He listens to, but to His own wisdom.”

“But I will believe.” Rosemary gathered her strength to sit up further. “I will allow hope to live.”

Ezra brushed Rosemary's face with his fingers. “I will also cling to hope with all my heart. We will always love each other.”

Tears stung Rosemary's eyes. “You know I will always be yours while there is breath in my body, even though I'm so unworthy of you. Yet you have been given to me by the Lord.”

“Hush now,” Ezra scolded. “Don't talk like—” Ezra stopped when a knock came on the door.

Mamm
opened the door to look in. “Anyone hungry?”

Rosemary didn't hesitate. “I'd like to go downstairs for supper. It would do me
goot
.”

Alarm filled
Mamm
's face. “But should you? It might do you harm now that there is some improvement.”

“But I'm getting better.” Rosemary's face glowed. “Take me downstairs please,
Mamm
, even if I have to sit on the couch with a plate in front of me.”

“Should we?”
Mamm
directed her question to Ezra.

Ezra thought for a moment. “If she wishes, we should.”

“Then let's go.”
Mamm
came over to stand on one side of Rosemary. “I'll support one arm, and we'll see how it goes.”

Rosemary steadied herself on the bedpost with one hand, and reached for
Mamm
's arm with the other. She pushed upward and tottered to her feet. The room moved in circles before her eyes, but soon settled down. “Take my other hand,” Rosemary whispered to Ezra.

With slow steps the three made their way down the stairs.

“She is stronger, isn't she?”
Mamm
's voice was tinged with hope.

“
Yah
, she is,” Ezra said. “But we must continue to pray.”

Once in the living room Rosemary settled onto the couch slowly. She sat still and took deep breaths with a smile on her face.

Mamm
peered down at her. “Are you okay?”

“I'm so happy,” Rosemary told her, “And oh, Ezra, you're here to enjoy this victory with me.”

“I wouldn't have missed it for the world,” he replied, sitting down beside her. “I'll stay for supper, and we can eat together.”

Mamm
hurried off, but quickly returned with a small quilt in her hand. She wrapped it around Rosemary's thin shoulders. “I wouldn't want you catching a chill right when you're showing the first signs of improvement.”

“I'll be okay,” Rosemary assured her, but the warmth of the quilt did feel
goot
. Rosemary pulled it tight around herself.

Ezra stroked Rosemary's arm. “The day you walk again by yourself will be a day of great joy for all of us. It can't come too soon for me.”

“Oh, Ezra.” Rosemary leaned against him again. “It's so
goot
that you're here tonight.”

“Okay, lovebirds, that's enough,” Ann scolded from the kitchen doorway. She held two plates in her hands. “Now, aren't you two special, eating in the living room.”

“Every moment I spend with Rosemary is special,” Ezra said.

Ann laughed. “Okay, I've heard enough sweet talk. I'm gone.” Ann set down the plates and hurried off again.

“I don't think she likes me,” Ezra teased.

Rosemary pressed back the tears as Ezra reached for her plate. She had so much happiness inside of her right now. Was this the turning point of her sickness, or had the Lord given her a respite to enjoy Ezra for an evening? Right now, she didn't want to think of the answer. It was enough that Ezra was close and that he loved her.

“Eat,” Ezra said, holding out a spoonful of food.

Rosemary looked up at him. “You would feed me like a
bobbli
?”

“Hush,” Ezra ordered. “
Yah
, because I love you.”

Rosemary said nothing. This was simply too
wunderbah
to endure for long. She opened her mouth and Ezra placed the spoonful of soup inside. The coolness of the steel brushed her lips, and his fingers touched the edge of her chin.

“Does it taste better this way?” Ezra teased.

“Everything tastes better when you're here.” Rosemary pressed back the tears.

“See, you're even getting your hunger back,” Ezra encouraged.

She wasn't going to argue with him, and he was right on that point. She must keep her spirits up. After Ezra left tonight there would be plenty of time to cry. She needed to drink in every moment the Lord gave her with this
wunderbah
man.

“Are you drifting off to sleep?” Ezra teased again.

“Just like a
bobbli
,” Rosemary said. They laughed softly together.

Ezra continued to feed her for several minutes until Ann reappeared. “Ready for dessert?”

Ezra grinned. “
Yah
. Let's try some.”

“I'll be right back,” Ann said.

When she returned a minute later, she was carrying two slices of apple pie heaped with scoops of homemade pecan ice cream.

Rosemary stared and exclaimed. “You made this special for tonight!”

Ann nodded, sober-faced. “We weren't sure, but we took a chance you'd be up for dessert tonight.”

“Oh, Ann, thank you.” Rosemary leaned forward to give her sister a hug.

“Anything is worth making you happy,” Ann whispered. She wiped her eyes and fled back to the kitchen.

Even Ezra's eyes seemed to get a bit misty. “This is a very happy evening,” he said.

Rosemary didn't respond as she took the first bite of ice cream. The cool sweetness melted in her mouth, and the taste tingled all through her body. She was touched that her family had made pecan ice cream especially for her. Maybe she was on her way to better health. But a deep weariness had already crept over her body. She would hang on until she had eaten all of the ice cream. She must not allow the illness to steal these last moments of the evening from her. Not with Ezra by her side.