A Hand to Hold (30 page)

Stephen let out a huge breath. He’d prayed about what his father would say, and his prayer had been answered. Now that he had his father’s blessing, he could turn his attention toward his goal of having a farm. Except he couldn’t think about anything other than Deborah and her family. Right now, they needed him even more than they had before. He just had to convince Moses— and Deborah—of that.

Deborah wiped her face with the back of her hand. Chopping wood was a chore she’d never done before, and it was tougher than she thought it would be. But the evening temperatures were starting to drop, and they needed enough wood to last them through the cold winter. She looked at the huge pile of cordwood that had been delivered last week. In order for it to fit into the small opening of the woodstove, each piece had to be chopped in half. But swinging an axe was difficult and awkward, not to mention physically taxing. She’d only split three pieces, and she was breathing heavily. She knew many Amish used coal stoves, but her father had never purchased one. Now she wished he had.

With the weather turning cooler, she thought of the cows. Had her
daed
ordered their winter hay? Once the snow came, the cows wouldn’t be able to graze, and they would rely solely on the hay and grain. She would have to check on the feed supply for the other animals and prep the chicken coop for the winter. Although she and Naomi had forged a tentative truce, she couldn’t rely on her sister for too much. She could ask Stephen for help—

She reined in the thought. Confusion warred within her. She still trusted him, but she couldn’t shake the tiny doubt Naomi’s accusation had planted in her. She didn’t want to believe he had ulterior motives. But she couldn’t be 100 percent sure.

She picked up a piece of wood and put it on the flat stump her father always used to split the wood. Right now she couldn’t spend time trying to figure out what Stephen was up to. She had to finish chopping the wood. Raising the axe high overhead, she intended to slam it down on the wood. But the axe head pulled her off balance, causing her to stumble a few steps backward. She regained her balance before she fell completely backward. When she heard Will laugh, she scowled at him. “I don’t find it funny at all.”

She’d had to bring Will with her because Naomi had left for the grocery store and she didn’t want her father to exert any energy watching him. Her father had slept most of the day, and she was glad he was taking the doctor’s advice.

A buggy pulled near the barn where she was chopping the wood, but she didn’t look up, thinking it was probably Naomi. She was glad; now her sister could take Will inside. He was corralled in the playpen nearby, playing with a few toys, and so far had been content. But she knew it wouldn’t be long before he’d start fussing and want out. Taking a deep breath, she lifted up the axe to make a second attempt at splitting the chunk of wood in front of her. But when she tried to bring the tool down, it wouldn’t move. Looking up, she saw Stephen standing over her, grasping the handle in his huge hand.

“You shouldn’t be doing this,” he said.

“I’m fine.”

He furrowed his brows. “Deborah, you don’t have to chop the wood. Take Will inside. I’m here now.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t be.” The words were out of her mouth before she could stop them.

Hurt flashed in his eyes. “Why would you say something like that?”

She tried to bring the axe back down, but he held on tight. Her arms were aching, and her body was twisted in a strange position. “Let
geh
of the axe. I’ve got to get this wood chopped.”

He let go, but the force of the weight of the axe drove her forward. It flew out of her hands and sank into the ground in front of her, part of the blade exposed. She stumbled after it, tripping over the stump. All she could see were the ground and the blade coming toward her.

When he saw Deborah trip, Stephen reached out and grabbed her around the waist, yanking her toward him.

“Oh!” She cried out, then spun around in his arms. Her breath came in spasms as she looked up at him.

He was breathless, too, not only because he’d been terrified she’d land on the corner of the blade, which likely would have been a serious injury, even life-threatening, but also because having her this close to him, with his arms around her hips, made his heart dance.

She jumped back, looking away. She was acting strangely, and he had no idea why. “Deborah, what’s going on? Are you mad at me?” When she didn’t say anything, he moved toward her. “Please, tell me what I did wrong. I’ll apologize. I’ll fix it.” He knew he shouldn’t touch her, but he couldn’t help himself. He cupped her chin with his hand. “I couldn’t stand it if you were mad at me.”

Her shoulders slumped as he pulled his hand away. “You haven’t done anything. At least not yet.”

“Not yet?”

“
Daed
is talking about selling the farm. He mentioned your name.” She looked up at him, crossing her arms over her chest.

“He did?”

“Don’t act so surprised. You’re the one who told me he talked to you about it.”

“It’s not an act.” Moses had never mentioned wanting him to buy the farm. And Stephen had never said anything about it either. He pushed his hat back and rubbed his forehead with his fingertips. “How did he know I wanted to have my own farm?”

Her eyes widened, filling with hurt and betrayal. “I don’t believe this.” She whirled around, her back to him. “How could you do this to me? To my
familye
!”

“Deborah, it’s not like that, I promise—”

“All that talk about Will’s legacy . . .” She faced him again, her entire face turning pink. “It was all a lie.”

He went to her. “Deborah, I would never lie to you. Or hurt you.” He clasped his hands behind his neck, bewildered by her accusations. “You have to believe me.”

“Then why does he want to sell the farm to you?”

“Did he say that?”

“Not in so many words. But why else would he bring you up as a potential buyer if you two haven’t discussed it?”

“I don’t know.” But he aimed to find out. He turned around and headed for the house.

“Where are you going?” she called after him.

He glanced over his shoulder. “To talk to your
daed
. I’m getting to the bottom of this.”

“You can’t.” She ran after him, then moved to block his path. “The doctor said for him to rest and to not get upset.”

“I won’t upset him. I’m just going to talk to him.”

“Don’t!” She held up her hand.

It was almost laughable that she thought she could physically stop him. All he had to do was pick her up and set her to the side, then plow on through to the house. He wouldn’t, though. He hoped she would come to her senses and let him pass.

Suddenly they both heard Will crying. He turned around to see the boy standing up in the playpen, his face red, his eyes soaked with tears. Deborah dashed over to him and gathered him in her arms. “Shh,” she cooed, then sank to the ground, still holding him. “It’s okay. It’s okay.”

Stephen went to her and stayed by her side, his heart breaking as tears streaked down her face. She was exhausted, anyone could see that. He crouched down next to her and took Will in his arms. She didn’t protest.

“I can’t do this,” she said after a few moments. “I thought I could . . .”

“Do what, Deborah?”

“Handle everything.” Her back slumped into a C shape. “The house. My
sohn
. I wanted to show
Daed
he didn’t have to sell what he’d worked so hard for. But I didn’t even last a day.”

He sat down beside her, then settled Will in his lap. “You’re right. You can’t do it all, and you shouldn’t have to. Let me help you.”

She looked at him, her eyes wet with tears. “That’s what I don’t understand.”

“What?”

“Why you’re here. Why you want to help us. You’ve done more for us than any one person should. And there was only one reason that made sense.”

Understanding dawned. “You think I’m here because I want to take the farm from you. Deborah, listen to me. And listen carefully. That never, ever entered my mind.” He wanted to touch her, but he didn’t dare. Not until she understood how he felt. “I’ve learned a few things about myself from working here. One is that I do want a farm of my own. God has shown me that.” He looked at her, willing her to understand. “But not this farm. This is Moses’ place. Yours and Naomi’s and Will’s.” He glanced down at the child in his lap, who had slipped his thumb into his mouth, his chubby cheek leaning against Stephen’s chest. “I would never try to take it from you.”

Chapter 20

D
eborah looked into Stephen’s eyes. She saw no deceit, only honesty. And more than anything, she wanted to believe him. But the doubts wouldn’t release her. She’d trusted before and had been hurt. She’d known Chase longer than she has known Stephen. They had worked together at Mary Yoder’s restaurant. They had spent time at parties after work and on the weekends. He had said she was special. He’d even told her he loved her. But everything he’d said had been a lie. Then he’d rejected her and their son.

And here was Stephen, the most genuine man she’d ever known. She glanced at her son resting on his broad chest, nestled in the secure embrace of this gentle giant of a man.

“There’s something else I’ve learned.” He leaned forward, his voice low, the smooth timbre sending ripples down her spine. “I care about you.”

Her heart tripped a beat. Had she heard him right?

“I care about Will too.” A shy look entered his eyes. “That’s why I would never do anything to hurt either of you.” He kissed the top of Will’s head, then handed him to Deborah. “If you still want me to
geh
, if it will be easier on you, I’ll leave right now.”

When he moved to get up, she put her hand on his knee. “Wait.” A lump clogged her throat. She tried to process what he’d told her. He cared about her and her son. The words were too good to be true. But they were more than words, and as she looked into his eyes, any doubts she had about him disappeared. “I don’t want you to
geh
, Stephen. Please, stay.”

“Are you sure?”

She reached for his hand and threaded her fingers through his. “
Ya
. I’m sure.”

He grinned and squeezed her hand.

They both looked up as a buggy came down the dirt drive. Stephen released her hand and helped her to her feet. She adjusted Will in the cradle of her arm, then reached for Stephen’s hand again. Her sister would be angry to see her and Stephen together. But it didn’t matter. Once she heard Stephen’s side of the story, Naomi would understand.

Sure enough, when Naomi got out of the buggy, she stormed toward them.

“What’s going on here?” Naomi glared at Stephen. “What’s he doing here?”

“Clearing up a misunderstanding,” Stephen said. “I was just telling Deborah—”

“I don’t care what you have to say. You’re a liar and a thief. Or at least you tried to be by stealing our farm from us.”

“Naomi, that’s not true. We were wrong about Stephen.”

Her sister huffed. “I should have known you’d stick up for him. You’ll believe anything a
mann
tells you. I thought you had finally learned, but I see you’re still as
dumm
as ever.”

“Naomi, you’re not being fair.”

“I’m not fair? You stand there holding your illegitimate
kinn
, ready to lecture me about men? You think I don’t know they’re only after one thing? Then again, you found that out firsthand, didn’t you?”

Shame filled Deborah. Her sister’s words sliced into her, especially said in front of Stephen. Naomi made her seem loose, without morals. “I made a mistake.”

“And now you’re ready to make another one. What did he tell you? Did he promise to marry you and give your
sohn
a
daed
?” She scoffed. “Like that would ever happen.”

“That’s enough.” Stephen stepped forward. “What Deborah and I talked about is none of your business. The only thing you need to know is that I’m not buying your
daed’s
farm. I never intended to.”

“Liar.”

“It’s true, Naomi. I thought the same thing, but he’s right.
Daed
must have come up with the idea on his own.”