A Ghost of a Chance (23 page)

“
Is that what Hallie is to you Madeline?”

She stood up and walked away from him, her thin shoulders shaking with what he guessed might be anger. “I gave Hallie a reason to live when she had none. I gave her Sebastian Winters, a career, an identity from the wreckage that some man had caused.”

“
You mean Edward.”

“
Edward, Richard, Jack any man. They’re all selfish. They take everything and then leave you with nothing.”

He swallowed and said quietly, “I’m not doing that to Hallie.”

She whirled around to face him, the eyes blazing with hatred. “You’re already doing it. She only thinks of you. She’s destroying Samory for that idiot of a character you created. If you were together, what would you do Jack? You’d eat up her soul and then leave her when you were finished.”

He had to diffuse this somehow, another tactic. “Is that what happened to you?”

“
The hell with you, with all of you. My great love, the man who promised me everything, who would love me forever, left me with nothing, a shell emptied out and then,”

She’d stopped, “Then what?” he asked calmly. It was important to find out what was driving her. Then he might gain an edge.

She laughed bitterly, “If that wasn’t enough then I found myself here, lost on the other side. Apparently taking your own life, even in desperation is a great taboo. All I wanted was for my pain to stop, but it didn’t. It didn’t. But then I found Hallie, and I had a reason for being again.”

He looked at the pitiful creature with a mixture of emotion. Obviously there was more than rage here; there was anguish, fear, and so much despair. Maybe he was meant to do more. Maybe there was a way he could help? “Madeline, listen to me. There is more than this for you, more than just this cold, decaying place. You could move on to something better.”

She was hunched over, her face covered by her hands. Her voice came out small and shaking, “Do you mean that I could move into the light?”

He shrugged, a little uncertain. “Yes, things would be better for you if you moved on, “ and he added tentatively, “into the light.”

And then, she let her hands slowly move away from her face and she smiled a wicked smile through her tears. It was a whisper, “You first Jack.”

He recoiled from the change in her, “What?”

She flung back her lanky brown hair. Strangely, in a very peripheral way, she almost resembled Hallie. Her voice was strong and filled with glee. “I don’t notice you in a big hurry to go into the light Jack.”

He cleared his throat and replied somewhat unconvincingly, “That’s because I have a purpose here, a mission.”

“
To get rid of me?”

“
To free Hallie of you.”

“
And once it’s done Jack. What then? Are you ready to bid your adieus to the flesh and move on without her.”

“
Well, I guess I’ll have to.” He said with not nearly enough conviction.

“
That doesn’t sound very convincing for a hero, a knight in shining armor.”

“
I never claimed to be that.” Damn, she had him on the defensive. This was no good.

She jumped on it, “Exactly Jack, you’re still a man with flaws, earthly desires.” Then she bent in closer to him, so near that he could smell a staleness emanating from her. “Let’s make a deal Jack. I used to work a casino in Vegas. I saw the biggest high rollers around, and I think you’re a high roller.” Her in Vegas? She must have changed a bit from those days.

He backed away, repulsed. “Maybe I used to be.”

She laughed, “What’s being noble going to get you today Jack? Not your precious Hallie. Not the love you never had in your own life. But I can get that for you.”

He stared into the green eyes that glared back at him as deceptive slits. She was a viper – the serpent dangling the tantalizing fruit inches from his starving mouth. “What are you talking about?” He asked regrettably.

She grinned. It was disturbing to see that delighted grin on the bony, little face. “I thought you’d want to hear me out. You want a life with Hallie or the best you can get in your present state. And I want what I had, complete control of her writing. Let me live again through Sebastian Winters, and I’ll give you Hallie in dream time.”

He sighed, shaking his head. He didn’t like this, but he couldn’t stop himself from asking, “What do you mean?”

“
You can share a whole life together in her dreams. You can go anywhere do anything.” And then she lowered her voice tantalizingly, “You can even have a place together near the water and have the kids that she’s always wanted. You can have it all Jack, if you only share a little piece of her with me.”

“
Just the writing?”

She smiled again, evidently feeling more confident. “Yes and relinquish control over this book.”

The coldness crept into him around his heart. Here comes the fine print. “What does that mean exactly?”

“
You’re a smart man Jack. Samory must triumph and your creation. . .”

“
Jacob Mcfarin?”

“
Must die.” Then she tacked on matter-of-factly, “And Gabriella too. She betrayed him. She has to go.”

He was silent, that moment in Madeline’s dank, little hell stretched into an eternity. All the players were there. He even had his own little devil tempting him and only asking for small pieces of his soul.

A dull ache thudded in his chest. He wanted to tell himself that Jacob and Gabriella were just made up characters. In killing them he wouldn’t be betraying Hallie as well as snuffing out some part of his own life force. But deep down that quiet voice within, the one he’d suppressed so effectively in life, told him that there were laws at work here that he didn’t understand.

That those little things like integrity and loyalty that he had brushed aside at inconvenient moments in his former life did count and did make the difference in the big scheme of things.

That although it seemed like having Hallie was everything, the kind of man he was with Hallie counted for an awful lot too. Staring into the cold green eyes, he saw his life that could have been swirl into the darkness beyond his reach. “So that’s the offer is it Maddie?”

Her eyes widened. She’d expected him to jump at the bait. He was sure of it. And most of him wanted to, but not all and not enough. “Yes Jack, that’s the deal. Take it or leave it.”

He stood up, and quietly said, “I’m afraid I’m going to have to leave it Maddie.”

Shock canvassed her pale face. For that moment, he felt truly sorry for her. She almost looked like a child, a poor confused, lost child. She muttered frantically, “You can’t.”

“
I can’t subject Hallie to a life where she’s going to be split up between two undeserving ghosts. And that’s what we are, just ghosts living in the past. I hope you can move on Maddie because I do believe there’s more out there for you and maybe me too.”

He brushed past her and walked over to the sleeping Hallie. He bent over to kiss her on the forehead before he drew her into his arms.

He sat beside her on the bed watching her brush out her long brown hair, as he’d done countless times before. He knew now that he hadn’t savored those moments enough, hadn’t etched them deeply enough into his memory. He felt Aunt Marie’s presence and then looked up to see her standing in the doorway. She looked amazingly transformed, a woman of at oldest forty-five and more than a few pounds lighter. He smiled, “Aunt Marie, I had no idea what a looker you were.”

She grinned, he thought, perhaps blushing a little. “My time here is finished Jack. Hallie doesn’t need me anymore.”

He nodded, not wanting to voice the obvious. “It feels much better here. What happened to Madeline? Did she move on?”

“
Yes, but not to a higher plane, just away from here looking for another place to cling to until she’s ready.”

“
Will she ever be ready?”

“
For some, it takes a lot longer to learn.”

He smiled grimly, “And maybe some of us don’t want to accept what we’ve learned.” He paused, “What about Hallie’s writing now that Madeline’s gone?”

“
She took a little too much credit. Madeline didn’t make Hallie a good writer, just a good writer of vampire novels. There are plenty of things to write about.”

There was another question on his mind, but he was uncertain if he should even ask. “I made the right choice didn’t I? I mean about Madeline’s offer.”

“
Well, you made a choice, and you’ll have to live with it.”

“
Will you ever give me a straight answer?”

“
Let’s just say I’m very proud of you Jack and of the man you’ve become. And I know your Dad is too.”

He nodded, “Thanks, that means a lot to me.”

Hallie crossed to the mirror and started pulling her hair back into a barrette. He knew she didn’t like to spend a lot of time fussing with it. There were too many other things on her mind. Even as he sat there, he could feel the pull away from here growing stronger and stronger. “You don’t have a lot of time left here Jack.”

“
I know. But I’ve got to say good-bye to her. I think I’d rather face Madeleine in that awful place a hundred times over than do this.”

“
I know,” she smiled always with great compassion in her sparkling blue eyes. “But just remember Jack. Remember to look for God’s love in everything.”

He shook his head, “I don’t know what that means.”

And then she was gone. Hallie stood staring at her reflection in the mirror, and then she stopped with her hands in midair, slowly turning around. There were tears in her eyes. He, in his heart, knew for the first time that she could see him, really see him not as a dream. “Jack,” she whispered. “I always thought way in the back of my mind that you weren’t real, and I was just a little nuts.”

“
I think we’re both probably a little nuts.”

She smiled and sat down beside him. Her eyes glistened with joy and then she saw something in his face and knew. “What’s wrong?”

“
I can’t stay long Hallie.”

“
I thought things were going well. I woke up this morning and felt so good that I thought. . .”

“
I’m glad Hallie. I want you to feel good, be happy and free.”

He couldn’t bring himself to say it. Concern marred her beautiful face, “What do you mean?”

“
I want you to know that you’re going to be just fine. You’re the strongest woman I’ve ever known and. . .”

“
Oh Jack,” her voice was choked up with tears. “You promised you’d find a way.”

He swallowed, “There was a way Hallie, but I couldn’t sacrifice you. I don’t want you living for someone else ever again.”

“
Damn you, why didn’t you let me choose?”

“
Because I know you. You would have given up yourself for us to be together, and I wouldn’t let you do that. You’re too important to me.”

The tears were running down her cheeks. “It’s not fair. There’s so much we never got to do. I wanted, I wanted to see the ocean with you.”

This was too much. It didn’t seem right. He didn’t understand it at all. All he did know was that the pull was becoming unbearable, too strong to resist.

“
I have to go Hallie. Know I love you. I always will.”

He stood up and started toward the door. The last thing he heard was her whisper behind him, her prayer. “Please don’t leave me Jack.” And then he was taken into the brightness.

EPILOGUE

He felt his head hit hard as it came down on the hot New York City pavement. There was scuffling around him and images flooded in and out of his line of vision. He closed his eyes and colors swirled beneath his eyelids, voices filtered in and out. “Come on. It looks like a mild head trauma.”

“
I saw him clutch his chest. Was it a heart attack?”

“
Too early to tell, step back everyone.”

"Would things be different Jack, if you had another chance?"

He heard his own voice somewhere inside his head. "
But it’s not possible."

"My dear boy, haven’t you learned yet that anything is possible? Absolutely anything."

And then another voice out of the darkness, “Is he going to be all right. I called you on my cell phone.”