A Funny Thing About Love (20 page)

‘I'm sure it'll be fine,' Carmen said with more certainty than she felt. ‘So what's next?' she asked Harry briskly, trying to put on a brave face and channel all
the women who had done amazing things in history – for instance, that suffragette who had jumped in front of the King's horse and been killed, all in the cause of women getting the vote. She did not lay down her life so women like Carmen could witter on about leather jackets.

‘We have to cut out shapes from black paper and stick them on to the lantern,' Harry informed her.

‘And that will be of
clocks
,' Daniel said cheekily, maybe even flirtatiously.

‘Or anything inspired by time and space,' Violet added pompously. ‘Like a constellation, stars scattered across the paper reflecting the enormity of the universe, and how we are just a small part of it.'

‘I'm going to do a rocket blasting off into space,' Harry informed them enthusiastically. ‘Carmen, can you help me?'

‘Fine.' Even she should be able to manage a rocket.

Some twenty minutes later Harry and Carmen had completed their lanterns – Carmen with stars and half moons, Harry with his rocket man theme. Carmen was a little concerned the rockets did look somewhat phallic. Daniel meanwhile had drawn and cut out shapes of a tall grandfather clock on one side of the lantern with the hands pointing to one, while black mice scampered up and down each side of the pyramid, each holding a number in their mouths. It was really striking.

‘Wow, Daniel – is that supposed to symbolise how time can run away with us?' Violet asked earnestly.

‘Nope, Millie wanted me to do it. It's Hickory Dickory
Dock.' He turned to Carmen and, grinning, said, ‘That would be dock, I said.'

Enough of all the cocks already
! Carmen thought. She was starting to seriously overheat in her jumper, even though it was freezing in the hall.

‘Great,' Violet said, a little tersely. ‘Well, perhaps we can tidy up now. Carmen, if you could be in charge of sweeping the floor that would be helpful, the broom's in the corner. We really should leave the hall as we expect to find it.'

What, with a ton of crap on it
? Carmen was so tempted to reply, but Violet was hot Daniel's friend and Carmen did not want to upset her. So she shuffled off in her Crocs to get the broom. About two years' worth of dust rose up to greet her as she started manhandling the practically bald broom across the worn floorboards. Jess was going to owe her for this big time. Everyone else had cleared everything away before Carmen was even halfway across the room and had collected a pile of dirt and dust and toddler detritus. She looked down at her black jumper and saw that it was attracting a dust colony all of its own, as were her skinny jeans. God knows what her face looked like.

‘Let me take over,' Daniel came over. ‘You've had the worst job.'

Carmen blew her fringe off her forehead. ‘Thanks, are you sure?'

‘No problem.' Daniel flashed his broad smile at her.

He was seriously lovely. Thoughtful, too. Maybe she could ask him for lunch, find out if he was connected
to Violet or if there was another lady in his life. This really would be a fresh start, and then maybe she could stop thinking about Will, who might have short hair but was not as gorgeous as Daniel and was probably rubbish at lashing willow, and anyway had Tash. Carmen decided to nip to the loos and check on her appearance. She was smiling to herself as she shuffled out of the hall and headed for the Ladies.

Violet met her halfway there. ‘Finished already, Carmen? That was speedy.'

‘Actually, Daniel's just finishing off for me.'

‘So you're at a bit of a loose end? In that case, can you just clean the loos? Give the seats a quick wipe and squirt some bleach down them.' She thrust a bottle of bleach at Carmen and a mangy-looking cloth.
Eeow
! Carmen was so shocked that she didn't even protest but raced into the Ladies. Thankfully the loos were in pristine condition. Violet was obviously just trying to wind her up. Carmen threw the mangy cloth in the bin, did the bleach thing and scrubbed her hands. She caught sight of her reflection in the mirror. Thank you, Coco! The lipstick had stayed in place. She even had quite a healthy glow – it must be all the physical exercise, that and the delicious Daniel. She actually had an extra spring in her Crocs as she walked back to the hall where Daniel had finished sweeping.

He smiled as she joined him and said quietly, ‘I was wondering if you and Harry wanted to go and grab some lunch. I don't know about you, but I'm starving.'

‘Sure, and is it okay if I ask Jess and my friends along
who are staying with me? They're Londoners but they're okay, honestly.'

Daniel looked a little confused – maybe he didn't do her kind of humour – but said, ‘No problem.'

Carmen was so thrilled by the lunch invitation from Daniel that she was halfway down the hill leading into town before she realised that she was still shod in the evil crocs.

‘Shit, shit, shit!' she exclaimed, adding ‘Sorry,' to Daniel as Harry and Millie shared another giggle. ‘I'm not used to being around kids, you've probably gathered.'

‘Don't worry,' Daniel replied, ‘I'm sure they've heard worse.'

‘Like Daddy,' Harry piped up. ‘He's always using the F word to Mummy.'

Carmen frowned, that didn't sound like Sean. ‘I'm sure he's not.'

‘Oh he does,' Harry said cheerfully. ‘Last night he called her a fucking drunk.'

Carmen exchanged a worried glance with Daniel and wondered what to say in reply; she felt as if she was in uncharted territory. She was going to have to say something to Jess.

‘Sometimes grown-ups say things they really don't mean,' Daniel replied calmly. ‘Even though I think Carmen really did mean the S word.'

Although Carmen was shocked by Harry's comment, Daniel had reminded her of the unbearable Croc
situation. She simply could not have lunch with hot Daniel in plastic shoes more befitting the feet of garden gnomes. How on earth could he see her as a sexual being, unless he had a thing about garden gnomes in garish shoes, in which case would she really want to have sex with him? She sneaked another look at him and was treated to his perfect profile. Yes, probably.

‘I really must get my shoes.'

Daniel shook his head. ‘I've just seen Violet drive past us, she'll have locked up. Don't worry, I can get your boots tomorrow.'

Again Carmen tried to channel great women from history. Queen Elizabeth I, leading her troops into battle, giving her great,
I know I have the body of a weak and feeble woman, but I have the heart and stomach of a king
, speech. It still didn't work; even Elizabeth could not have delivered such a rousing speech in dayglo plastic footwear. Never mind Burning of the Clocks, if she had her way it would be burning of the Crocs. ‘So shall we go to Wagamama's and have noodles?' Daniel put in. As Millie and Harry whooped their appreciation, Daniel added, ‘Would that be okay with you?'

‘Perfect, and I'll text Jess and my friends and ask them to meet us there,' Carmen answered. ‘But promise me no one will eat the big flat noodles in front of me, they really remind me of earthworms.'

‘They're my favourites!' Millie exclaimed. ‘And anyway, earthworms are great, Daddy's always telling me.'

Drat, cannot cross the child of the hot man
. Carmen managed a smiled, ‘You're right, earthworms are very useful. Where would we be without them?'

Wagamama's was heaving. It seemed to be the rule that every long canteen-style table had at least two babies clipped on to it in child seats. Carmen did what she always did when in proximity to babies, she looked away. Sadie and Marcus were going to join them for dessert as they were yet to get up, and Jess was on her way.

Millie was busy twirling a large earthworm-shaped noodle round and round on a chopstick, impressing Carmen with her dexterity. Carmen had to use a fork to eat her chicken chilli noodles; she could use chop-sticks but didn't want to risk food falling down her face in front of the
über
gorgeous Daniel. Of all the places to eat with a gorgeous man you didn't yet know but wanted to, a noodle restaurant would be bottom of her list. But Daniel, like his daughter, was having no trouble neatly spinning his (thankfully thin) noodles round on his chopsticks.

So far Carmen had discovered four important facts – not easy as Daniel was quite reserved:

• Daniel ran his own garden design business.

• There was a Mrs Daniel but they were separated and had been for two years. Mrs Daniel was living in San Diego with her boyfriend. Sounded promising.

• Violet was not his girlfriend but a friend who had a child the same age as Millie.

• She, Carmen, really fancied Daniel, a feeling which she hadn't experienced in real life outside of Will and fantasising about Russell Crowe in a very long time.

And maybe there was even a fifth:

• Daniel seemed to quite like her too.

She based number five on all the eye contact they'd had over the noodles, and by the way he seemed very interested in her and what she did, and wanted to know what she thought of Brighton, apart from it being smaller than London. She couldn't say it was in the style of flirtatious banter she was used to, but it was still exciting knowing she had the attention of this handsome man. And then over miso soup he asked a question which surely clinched it, ‘So are you living on your own down here?'

‘Yes, I separated from my husband about a year ago and I haven't really seen anyone since.' Oh God, why had she said that? It made her sound a complete saddo! Of course there had been the flirtation with Will, but it was probably best not to go there.

Daniel was about to reply when Jess finally walked in. She planted a kiss on Harry's head then sat on the wooden bench next to Daniel, who put his arm round her and kissed her. Lucky, lucky Jess, to be the recipient of such a manly arm and a kiss.

‘So, did you enjoy the workshop, Carmen?' Jess had a knowing smirk on her face. ‘I thought you might find it interesting.'

Carmen ignored the implication. ‘It was great, except for one thing.' She slowly raised her left leg in the air, displaying the offending Croc in its full glory.

‘Uggh! Crocs! You're wearing Crocs! I didn't mean for this to happen!' Jess loathed the plastic monstrosities nearly as much as Carmen.

‘Well, they're very comfortable, aren't they?'

Jess covered her eyes as if to protect them from the glare of the yellow. ‘It's like the end of
Invasion of the Body Snatchers
when Donald Sutherland is practically the only human left, and he stumbles across that woman who was a friend of his and he thinks that she's still human too, but she's been taken over and she betrays him. That's how I feel about seeing you in Crocs. I think you'd better move back to London right now, the sea air is obviously affecting you. Quick, get on the train before it's too late!'

Daniel smiled uncertainly at the two women's banter – maybe, and please let this not be so, he was a lover of Crocs.

As the kids tucked into vanilla ice cream and mango sauce the three adults chatted, all small talk really, but Carmen was struggling to keep her eyes off Daniel. His beauty was mesmerising and every time he smiled at one of her jokes she felt as if she'd won the Nobel peace prize.

‘Oh look!' Carmen exclaimed, waving. ‘It's Marcus
and Sadie.' She turned to Jess. ‘Now play nice, please.'

‘Sadie shagged Sean,' Jess couldn't resist saying to Daniel, who looked rather taken aback by the comment.

‘They were on a break,' Carmen clarified. Would Jess ever forgive and forget? But then again, would she in Jess's position? It was a tough one.

‘Everyone's done things they regret, I'm sure,' Daniel said diplomatically.

There then followed a flurry of introductions, where Carmen was acutely aware of Marcus and Sadie appraising Daniel and of Jess giving Sadie the glacial treatment.

Before they could embark on a proper conversation, however, Daniel and Millie had to leave. ‘But you're the best-looking man I've seen in Brighton, you can't go!' Marcus exclaimed. The best-looking man in Brighton looked rather mortified.

‘Just ignore Marcus, he says that to all the boys,' Carmen jumped in to Daniel's rescue.

‘Oh right,' Daniel replied. He seemed unsure of how to react. ‘Anyway, I have to take Millie to a party.' He got up and pulled on his battered brown leather jacket. ‘Tragically my seven-year-old daughter has a more exciting social life than me.'

Carmen liked his self-deprecating quality; she did so hate an uptight man. Now if he could just do something with the hair, which was actually longer than hers . . .

He turned to Carmen and said quietly, ‘So, I'll get your boots from the hall tomorrow if you like, I'm
working round there, and I could drop them at yours tomorrow afternoon.'

Oh yes
. Carmen had a little frisson at the thought of being alone with Delicious Dan. Marcus caught her eye and winked. Carmen ignored him and quickly wrote down her address and mobile for Daniel.

Daniel and Millie were barely out of earshot before Marcus leaned forward and said excitedly, ‘Can I just say, fucking gorgeous, Jess! Madam here had led me to believe that there are no straight men left in Brighton. And here I am confronted by a magnificent specimen.'

‘Less of the F word, Marcus,' Jess replied, looking over at Harry, who was fortunately engrossed in his Nintendo DS.

‘Shit, sorry,' Marcus answered.

‘Or the S word!' Jess again.

‘Bloody hell, it's like a minefield being around children.'

Jess gave up. She looked at Carmen. ‘So what did you think? Don't you love me for arranging the meeting? You're going to owe me big time.'