A Friend of the Family (40 page)

Ned opened and closed his mouth a few times, trying to find the right words. ‘What do I
think?
he laughed. ‘I think I’m honoured and surprised and excited and scared and…
God!
I just can’t take it in.’

‘Just you think about it. Think about all of it and then let’s have a good long chat on Monday. Yeah?’

‘Yeah!’ said Ned, striding towards Tony and giving him a big hug. ‘Thanks, Tone,’ he said, squeezing his big, fleshy shoulders, ‘thank you for thinking about me. Thank you for having faith in me. I love you, man.’

‘I love you, too, Ned,’ said Tony, ‘you’re a good bloke. The best.’

And then the phone rang.

‘That was Sean,’ said Tony, putting the phone down. ‘We need to get ourselves downstairs – apparently Dad’s about to give a speech.’

Gerry Gets Sentimental

‘Well,’ began Gerry, looking around the sea of expectant faces nervously and fiddling with a piece of card, ‘first of all, let me just say thanks so much to all of you for making the effort to come tonight. I know some of you have travelled a long way. Some of you have even come from east London. And looking around, I can see that Moss Bros have done well out of us tonight, so thanks for that.

‘I first set eyes on Bernie here over forty years ago, the spring of 1961. She was sixteen years old and selling baubles in Simpsons of Piccadilly. The minute I set eyes on her I thought, I’m going to marry that girl. Luckily for me, she turned out to be easy. I said I wanted a nice gift for my girl, but didn’t know what to get, so I asked her to choose something for me. She picked out a pair of coral earrings. I waited till she wrapped them up and then I gave them to her. Then I asked her out to the pictures and she said yes. And I still don’t know to this day whether it was the earrings or my charming personality that clinched the deal; all I know is that we’ve been together ever since that first date and I’ve loved every second of my life with her.

‘Some people standing here talking about forty years
of being with the same person might say, well, we’ve had our ups and downs; but not me. We haven’t had any downs. When I look at Bernie today I still see that fresh-faced counter assistant at Simpsons, I still see the girl with the yellow hair and the blue eyes who I picked up for our first date on Piccadilly, and I still get the same butterflies in my stomach. Bernie is the centre of my world, my reason for being. She’s genuine and talented and down-to-earth. She’s kind and loving. She’s also fun and lively and makes me laugh every single day. She’s never tried to change me or made me feel anything less than a man. I like the person I am when I’m with my wife. There is no one in the world whose company I enjoy more than hers, and the only time I ever feel bad when I’m with Bernie is when I imagine what my life would be like without her in it.

‘I don’t know what the secret is to our happy marriage – I often think we just got very lucky. But I also think that me and Bern, we have more
fun
than a lot of couples – nothing makes me happier than seeing Bernie smile and I think it’s vice versa. A lot of couples forget to have fun, to lark around and to make each other smile. But the most fun we’ve had in our marriage so far has been bringing up these three.’ He pointed at his sons, standing at the front of the crowd. ‘From the moment Anthony’s little face first came blinking into the light thirty-five years ago, I found a whole new set of reasons to feel like the luckiest man in the world. People these days seem to make such a performance out of kids. They make them just another thing to worry about on
their great big lists of things to worry about. But we were never like that with our three. We just enjoyed them. They had their knocks and their bumps and their trips to the emergency wards. They had their scrapes at school and their terrible reports. But we never let that bother us because we knew that we had three good boys and that whatever happened in the future, things would work out for them. As long as we loved them and encouraged them and made their home a nice environment to live in, they’d be fine. And I look at them all now, and I know that we were right.

‘I’m so proud of you, boys,’ he said, tears brimming in his eyes, ‘so proud of everything you’ve done and everything you’ve yet to do and I’m so proud of my family. I am the luckiest man in the world – and I owe it all to my beloved Bernie. Bernie-’ he turned to address his sobbing wife – ‘give us a hug.’ Bernie collapsed into Gerry’s arms, tears streaming down her cheeks, flushed with pride and happiness, and the room erupted into applause and wolf-whistles.

Sean wiped a tear from his eye. He felt overcome with emotion and euphoric with joy. That was the most fantastic speech he’d ever heard. And, as he listened to the heartfelt applause and watched his parents tenderly hugging in front of everyone they knew and loved, he suddenly knew that it was time. He gave Millie a kiss on the lips and headed towards the front of the crowd.

‘Ladies and gentlemen,’ he said clanging a spoon against a glass, ‘ladies and gentlemen. I have an announcement to make.’The crowd quietened down
and turned to look at him. ‘First of all, I just wanted to echo everything that Dad’s just said about our mother. She is a truly magnificent person and I want to thank her from the bottom of my soul for everything she has done to make us feel like we could do anything we wanted. I would not be in the position I’m in today if it wasn’t for my mother’s unconditional approval. I would also like to say that I truly hope that there is something in all that astrology business and that my mother’s generous and fun-loving personality has something to do with the date on which she was born. Because on December the first, this year, another person is going to be born. And my parents are going to be grandparents. Because me and Millie –
we’re pregnant!’

There was complete silence for a split second, and then Bernie’s eyes opened up into wide circles and her hands went up to her cheeks and she opened up her big mouth and screamed like a seven-year-old girl at a Steps concert.

‘And if anyone ever deserved to be grandparents, it’s these two. I love you both. To Bernie and Gerry,’ Sean finished, raising his glass before being accosted by his parents and showered with hugs and kisses.

Sean found Millie’s hand and squeezed it. She turned from the conversation she was having with Bernie and Gerry and threw him a smile. And Sean felt himself swell up inside with pride and completeness. Because this was it, he realized, this was love. Love wasn’t trendy drinking clubs, unpredictability and nightly sex. It wasn’t existing in a vacuum and pretending the outside world didn’t really exist. It was him and Millie, growing
together, sharing, laughing and having fun together. It was family. It was this.

A couple of hours later, Tony, Sean and Ned found themselves lined up at the urinals, in order of age from left to right, peeing in unison.

They were all very drunk.

‘Shit – Sean!’ said Ned, zipping up his fly and leaning against the wall. ‘I still can’t believe it. You’re going to be a fucking dad! How long have you known?’

‘Six weeks.’

‘And you didn’t tell me?! You toerag.’

‘Sorry, mate,’ said Sean, swaying a little bit from side to side, as he zipped himself up. ‘Sorry. I was in a bit of denial there for a while. Couldn’t quite admit to myself what was happening, let alone tell anyone else.’

‘So, you’ve resigned yourself to it, then?’ said Tony, turning to wash his hands.

‘Yeah,’ said Sean, looking at his feet. ‘Well – no. I haven’t
resigned
myself to it. I
believe
it. That’s the difference. It wasn’t real before. Now it is. And it’s fucking
great!
Look, Tone,’ he said, ‘all that stuff the other night. I’m really fucking sorry, all right? You were right. I was wrong. I don’t blame you for taking Millie’s side…’

‘What?’ said Ned. ‘What’s going on?’

‘… and I just said those things because I knew you were right and I couldn’t admit it to myself…’

‘What are you talking about?’ said Ned.

‘And I just wanted to say – thank you for looking after Millie while I wasn’t. I’ll never forget it, honest.
And neither will she. You’ve been a brother to both of us, these past weeks. A real, proper brother. And I haven’t appreciated it. And I’m so sorry about everything, Tone, so sorry…’

‘Me, too, mate,’ said Tony. ‘I’m sorry, too. I was out of order. I didn’t mean those things I said. I was just going through something myself, you know. Feeling insecure and unconfident. I was just jealous of you. But you’ve done so well and I’m so fucking proud of you, I really am.’

Sean stared at Tony for a moment and Ned saw tears shining in his eyes. ‘I fucking love you, Tone. Like really, really,’ he patted his heart with his fist, ‘
love you.’
And then he threw his arms around Tony and squeezed and patted him, and Tony squeezed and patted him back.

‘What!’
said Ned, starting to feel really left out.

‘Nothing!’ shouted Sean, jubilantly, ‘absolutely fucking nothing! Everything is
perfect!
Come here!’ he opened his arms out to invite Ned into the group and for a minute or two the three of them huddled together in a warm, boozy circle of fraternal love.

And then a figure appeared at the toilet door. ‘Gervase!’ said Ned, grinning at his new friend. ‘All right?’ grinned Sean and Tony who were still standing with their arms around each other.

‘How’s it hanging, Gervase?’ said Sean, walking towards him and putting an arm around his shoulder.

‘Excellent,’ said Gervase, rubbing his hands together and looking around the room at the three brothers. ‘You boys look happy. Been having a nice time?’

‘Rocking,’ said Ned.

‘Good,’ said Gervase, nodding sagely, ‘that’s nice. So – everyone’s happy, then?’

The boys all looked at each other. ‘Yeah,’ said Ned, ‘I reckon. Here. Look. I want to propose a toast. I want to propose a toast to
Gervase.
The most rocking bloke I know and a true friend.’

‘Yeah,’ said Sean and Tony nodding furiously, much to Ned’s surprise. ‘To Gervase. Cheers.’

The four men picked up the beer bottles they’d brought in from the bar and clinked them together. Then Sean put his down, looked at Gervase for a minute and suddenly leapt on him and hugged him. ‘You’re the best, Gervase,’ he said, ‘you’re the total best. I’ll never forget what you did for me. Never!’

Ned looked on in wonder. Sean was obviously even more pissed than he looked. Gervase looked pleased but embarrassed and extricated himself gently from Sean’s puppy-dog embrace. ‘You boys,’ he said, looking round at them, ‘you’re all so fucking lucky, you know that don’t you?’

They nodded.

‘Sean – you’ve got Millie and the little one on the way. Tone – you’ve got your freedom for a while. Ned — you’ve got your whole future ahead of you and all these people behind you. But most of all, you’ve got each other. What a gift, eh?’ He smiled. ‘Brothers – what a gift. Don’t ever take it for granted, eh? Appreciate it, every day. Look after each other. Yeah?’

They all nodded enthusiastically and patted each other some more.

‘Anyway,’ he said, checking his reflection in the mirror. ‘I just came up to say that number one, your birds are looking for you.’ He looked at Sean and Ned. ‘Number two, your Mum and Dad are looking for you. And number three, I’m pushing off, so I’m going to say goodnight.’

‘You’re
going?’
said Ned, looking at his watch in disbelief.

‘Yeah. I’m whacked. And I’m effing hungry, too. Couldn’t be doing with those poncey little things on trays. I’m going to KFC.’

‘Oh, come on, Gervase. Stay. We’ll go up to our rooms. Get some room service or something.’

‘No – seriously, boys. I’m off. I need some meat, you know.’ He rubbed his stomach. ‘But get yourselves back in there, yeah? This isn’t just about your mum and dad – it’s about you boys, too. You should be with them. Yeah?’

He put his hands in his pockets and looked at them all. Ned looked at his friend standing there in his ludicrous ensemble and felt warmth flooding his body. ‘Night, then, Gervase,’ he said, putting out his hand to shake his. ‘And thanks for everything.’

‘Pah de problemme,’ said Gervase, shaking all the boys’ hands and then heading for the door. ‘A pleasure doing business with you.’

And then he passed his hand over the top of his flat-top and left the room, and as the door closed behind him a shiver ran down Ned’s spine.

Something Missing

Breakfast the next morning was a delicate, subdued affair involving a full English, tea in silver pots, three different types of toast, four different types of jam, huge linen napkins and not much in the way of conversation. Ned glanced at a pale and sickly-looking Ness across the breakfast table and felt a sense of reassurance and security having her there. He wanted her to always be there. For everything. For ever.

The party had gone on until midnight, then a large group of them had retired to the bar to drink some more. Mum and Dad had managed to stay up till a quite heroic three a.m. and Tony, Sean, Ned and Ness had still been drinking at five in the morning. Nothing had happened between him and Ness last night – they hadn’t even really spent any time on their own together – but they had got on incredibly well. They’d made each other laugh all night long and Ness had done a lot of grabbing his arm and squeezing his knee while they talked. At the end of the night, when everyone had started feeling green with tiredness and drunkenness, she’d said she was going to get a cab, but Ned had managed to persuade her to stay by offering her his bed. Not with him in it,
of course. He’d shared with Tony and slept with his pillow over his head to block out his voluminous snoring.

‘What a night!’ said Bernie, getting out of Dad’s car outside Beulah Hill later that afternoon. ‘What a fantastic night!’

‘This is the worst hangover I have ever had,’ said a frail-looking Ness, pulling herself painfully from the car and then clinging on to the side of it to steady herself.

‘You need a coffee, love,’ said Bernie. ‘You can’t drive home in this state.’