A Flawed Heart (12 page)

“Hi.” He takes my breath away as he places a soft kiss on my
lips, and I press myself into him, forgetting where we are.

“Hey, Claire—you
jumpin
’
or what?”
Ben asks.

“Y’all are crazy, but I’ll jump. I don’t know about from
this high, though.”

“It’s really not as bad as it looks.” Alana wipes her face
with a towel and wrings out her hair. “You’re in the water before you know it.”

Jason looks to me, trying to read my face. “Don’t feel
pressured. I’ll jump with you if you want.” He squeezes my hand and winks at
me.

There’s no way I can resist this man. “Okay.”

“All right, let’s do this. I’m hungry.” Ben pulls Alana to
the edge of the rocks with him. She tries to fight him off, but fails, and they
jump into the water together.

Lydia takes her sundress and shoes off, and then steps to
the edge with Kat. They jump, squealing the whole way down.

Jason walks to the edge, looking down at the water, and then
back at me. “I can help you get those clothes off if you like.”

I grin, cross my arms in front of me, and grip them hem of
my tee, lifting it over my head. Jason moves toward me, stopping a short
distance away. I unbutton my skirt and it drops it to the ground. My attempt at
turning Jason on is successful. Judging by his expression and rigid posture, it
worked. I step out of my skirt, now wearing only my bathing suit and sandals. I
push my hair off my shoulders and walk toward Jason.

“You can help me get these sandals off.”

He licks his lips, bends down to kneel before me and grabs
my ankle. I put my hands on his bare shoulders to steady myself and shift my
eyes down to watch him. He places my foot on his thigh and runs his hand up my
calf, then back down my shin, caressing my skin and adoring it. He opens the
buckle on my shoe, sliding the leather through the clasp. He runs his
fingertips over the studs on the strap, slips it off of my foot, and places it
next to him with reverence.

I hear our friends laughing and splashing below us. I rub
Jason’s shoulders and he looks up at me. The fierce lust in his eyes makes me
tingle, and he returns his attention to the task of removing my sandals. He repeats
the same motion on my other leg, his calloused hands move slowly down to my
foot. He removes the shoe and darts his tongue out to wet his lips. He stands,
grabs my waist, and lifts me up so my feet aren’t touching the ground. My chin
is at his forehead and I wrap my legs around him, feeling how hard I’ve just
made him. I’m lost in the scent of his hair and the feel of his skin. He grabs
the back of my head and kisses me, his tongue tasting my lips. He moans and then
places me back on the ground. He places his hand in mine and smiles. We step to
the edge of the cliff together.

“Are you ready?” he asks.

His words mean more to both of us than he intends.

“Yes. I am.”

I wrap my toes around the edge of the rock, and look down.
Lydia waves from the black water. Vertigo assaults my sense of equilibrium and
the only thing grounding me is Jason’s hand. I look to him for reassurance,
take a deep breath, and without a word, we jump.

I feel a quick rush of wind, and resist the urge to flail my
arms. I keep my body straight as a pin, so I don’t hurt myself when I enter the
water. I hold my nose with my free hand and we break the surface together. The
cold is shocking, but the familiar weightlessness and peace I feel envelops me
as the water rushes around our bodies. I emerge and take a breath, blinking the
water out of my eyes and searching for Jason. He’s to my right, treading water,
waiting for me to surface.

“Wasn’t that awesome?” Lydia asks.

She’s sitting on the edge of a rock that juts out in the
water with Kat and Alana at her side. Ben splashes them as they sit. Jason
swims over to me freestyle. Watching him swim—something I love so much—turns me
on. His hair is wet but no less of a mess. Water drips off his nose and
glistens on his lips.

“Are you all right?” He grabs me under the water and pulls
me into him. I wrap my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck.

“Yeah, I’m great. That was fun.”

When I catch my breath, Jason kisses me. His lips feel
especially warm in the cold water. He releases me from his grasp and we swim
together, splashing and laughing. Ben feels the need to challenge my abilities
as a
swimmer,
and I kick his ass in a race across the
quarry while the girls cheer and Jason and looks on with pride. He and Lydia
take turns dunking each other under the water, and they jump a few more times
from the lower cliff. I float on my back, watching everyone, as the sunlight
plays hide and seek between the tree branches and the black rocks of the quarry
create majestic shadows in the water. I feel overwhelmed with a sense of
belonging—
a sense of being at home. I’m
elated to have found this feeling. After my father was killed, things were
never the same in my house. The notion of being at
home
seemed lost
forever…until now, until I found these people.

Kat shouts that it’s time for lunch. Her voice pulls me out
of my thoughts, and I swim to where Jason is waiting for me. We hike up to
gather our things, walk down to the blanket, and devour our food. Jason lies
back and rests his head on my thigh as he smokes a cigarette, and strokes his
fingers up and down the bare skin on my legs. The feeling of ease and comfort
he brings to me is priceless. I’m so content sitting here, and I’m dreading
having to go to work, but I’m looking forward to being with him again
tonight—just the two of us. It seems crazy to crave his presence so much, so
soon, but I do.

“All right guys, we need to get going. Kat, will you drive?
I’m wiped.” Lydia stands and stretches her lithe frame.

“Can I have my car back now? You can ride with Alana, can’t
you?” Jason asks.

“I
could,
but I’m
not going to. We girls are all going to the same place. It makes sense to take
one car. I’ll drop it off later, okay?”

Jason shakes his head as if he’s annoyed with his sister’s
logic, but doesn’t have the energy to dispute her further.

We clean up the picnic space and pack up the cars.

“So, are you still coming by my rehearsal space tonight?”
Jason’s arms are folded across his muscular chest, which is now sheathed in a
tight, white t-shirt.

“Of course I am.
Unless…you don’t want me
to?”
I ask.

“Of course I want you to.” He kisses me until my knees are
weak. “I’ll see you tonight. It’s on the corner of Meeker and
Lorimer
. Ring bell number five.”

“Okay.” I climb into the backseat of the Charger and we doze
as Kat drives home, my mind filled with images of a shirtless, wet Jason.

Once we get home, I shower, dress, and stuff a hoodie in my
bag. I see Tony as soon as I walk into the bookstore. I’m embarrassed about
what happened at Pen, but I try to play it cool.

“Hey,” I say.

He looks up at me and then back to his book. “Hey.”

“Tony, I’m sorry.”

“You don’t need to apologize. Is that
dude
your boyfriend?”

“I’m not really sure what we are.”

“Well then, I don’t think he has much of a say in who you’re
friends with, now does he?” His eyes are sweet but filled with hurt.

“No. He doesn’t. He’s protective of me, I guess.”

“Yeah?
Well, you should tell him
you can take care of yourself.”

“I told him those exact words, actually.”

“Good for you. Listen, you want to get something to eat
after work?” He’s hopeful, and I hate to turn him down.

“I have plans tonight, but maybe another time?”

“Yeah, okay.” He gives me a smile and I feel much better now
that we’ve talked.

Although I’m trying to pay attention to my work and the
customers, I keep glancing at my phone to check the time. I know Tony sees me
doing it out of the corner of his eye, and I’m sure it’s obvious that I’m
anxious to get out of here. At closing time he takes pity on me, and locks up
the shop without offering to walk with me.

My train of thought quickly changes as I leave Bedford Ave
and walk toward Jason’s rehearsal space.
It’s
dark out,
and I stop to light a cigarette. I’m shaking with nerves, and I wonder when the
anticipation of seeing Jason will stop having such a strong effect on me.

I ring bell five, and he buzzes me in.
It’s
room five hundred sixteen, but I have no idea where to
go, so I walk down the hall, looking at room numbers. The door to one of the
rooms is ajar. It’s a soundproofed recording studio, with panels of controls
that are foreign to me. At the main panel sits a guy with black hair pulled
into a ponytail. He’s wearing a leather jacket and looks like the typical
bad-boy musician. He looks up and he roams my body with his eyes in a way that
makes me uncomfortable. I turn to rush past the open door.

“Hey, can I help you?” He stands and walks toward me.

“I’m looking for five sixteen.”

“Oh you are, are you? That’s Taylor’s space.
You a friend of his?”

“Uh, yeah.”

“He’s got quite a few
friends
,
doesn’t he?”

“I—I don’t really know about his…friends.”

“Oh no?
Well I know
all
about them, and I’m sure you will, too.
Soon enough,
sweetheart.
Go to the end of the hall and take the elevator to five. You’ll
find him up there.”

“Thanks.”

“Aidan.”

“Thanks, Aidan. I’m Claire.”

“It was a pleasure, Claire. I’ll see
ya
‘round.”

I turn and hurry away from him. He’s the creepiest person I’ve
met so far in New York, and I don’t like that he knows Jason.

Once on the fifth floor, I follow the numbers on the doors
and hear piano notes floating through the hall. I arrive at five sixteen, and find
Jason seated at a grand piano in the middle of the large room. The walls are
padded with soft, white, dimpled material—with the exception of a glass wall
that faces west. Jason’s back is to me and he’s pouring himself into a song I
don’t recognize.

There’s a small couch in the corner with a coffee table and
lamp next to it. Records and CDs are strewn across the floor. Next to the piano
is a red and white-checkered blanket, with a setting of two paper plates, two
red, plastic cups, and a bottle of red wine. With the sunset casting a warm
glow, the room looks soft and romantic. I clear my throat in hope of getting
Jason’s attention. He stops playing, turns toward the sound, and slings one leg
over the piano bench.
He’s wearing jeans and a T-shirt, so simple, yet
so handsome. He smiles upon seeing me, and gestures for me to come and sit with
him by patting on the bench

I close the door and walk to him. He takes my hand and I sit
beside him. His face is so close to mine. The stubble along his jaw seems
thicker than it was this morning. I want to tell him about Aidan, but I know it
will only make him angry. Judging by his reaction to Tony, he doesn’t seem to
like me talking to other guys, and I don’t want to ruin our time together.

“What is that you were just playing?”

“Oh, just a song I’m working on. It’s not ready to be played
for you just yet.” He brings his hand up to my hair and pushes it behind my
shoulders with his long fingers. He leans in and kisses my neck, right over my
racing pulse.

“You look so pretty in this shirt. Are you hungry? I picked
up some fruit, cheese, and crackers. I brought some wine, if you like.”

“I had no idea you were so
sophisticated
.” I smile at
him.

“There are a lot of things you don’t know about me.” He
takes my hand and brings me over to the blanket. “But I’d like to change that.
How about we play a game while we eat?”

“Like, what kind of game?”

“A ‘get to know you’ kind of game.
I’ll
ask a question—which we’ll both answer—and then you can do the same.”

“Okay.”

“What’s your full name?” he asks.

“Claire Leanne Brighton.”

“Jason Daniel Taylor. Now it’s your turn.”

“What’s your favorite band?”

“That’s a tough one. I can never answer this question. I can’t
pick just one.
Too hard.”

“All right.
Fair enough. Mine is
probably
The Velvet Underground
. I love
Nico’s
voice.”

“Solid answer, Claire.”

He moves in to kiss my neck, and flicks his tongue out to
lick my skin. I gasp at his touch. He pours us each a cup of wine and holds a
piece of apple, spread with brie, to my lips. I open my mouth and take a small
bite. The crunchy sweetness of the green apple combined with the smooth, sour
cheese tastes delicious. Jason’s gaze is fixed on my lips as I chew, and he
places the bite I did not eat into his own mouth. I’m hypnotized by the way he
savors it.

“When’s your birthday?” he asks.

I’ve been dreading this question. “It’s October first.” I
look down at my wine, avoiding his eyes.

“That’s next week.”

“I know. I don’t really like to celebrate it.” I take a sip.

“Why?”

“Because my daddy was killed three days
after my twelfth birthday.
After that, I stopped wanting to celebrate
it.” My eyes begin to burn, and I will myself to not cry in front of Jason.

“Shit, Claire…I’m so sorry.” He lifts my chin and kisses
each of my eyes, then the tip of my nose, then my lips.

“It’s fine. I’m fine. Thank you. When is yours?”

“June twentieth.”

“What are your parents’ names?”

“I think you met Daniel, and my mother was Eileen.”

“That’s a beautiful name. My mama is Rebecca, and my daddy
was Dave.”

“Tell me about him. And I’ll tell you about my mom, if that’s
okay.”