Read A Fairy's Guide to Disaster Online
Authors: A W Hartoin
Tags: #Literature & Fiction, #Mythology & Folk Tales, #Teen & Young Adult, #Science Fiction & Fantasy, #Fantasy, #Fairy Tales & Folklore, #Country & Ethnic, #Fairy Tales, #Sword & Sorcery
“When you forget she’s fat, she’s not so bad,” he said.
I punched him in the shoulder. “Shut up, Gerald.”
He flushed and he looked ready to spout anger at me, but when he saw I was smiling at him, he hung his head. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”
“Apology accepted.”
We flew out and closed the door behind us. The red room buzzed with activity. The mom watched it all, leaning on the newel post with a tissue in hand. She now wore a strapless black and white dress with red high heels. Her hair flowed back from her face into a sleek chignon, emphasizing her wide mouth. Tess rushed down the stairs to join her mother. She danced on tiptoes and twirled. Her blue party dress spun out, revealing black netting under the skirt. Her hair was braided and coiled around her head, making her exceptionally pretty, much prettier than her mother.
“Rebecca,” said Sarah to the mom. “You look like a dream.”
Rebecca kissed Sarah’s pale cheek. “Thank you, Gram. This party is amazing.”
“You deserve it. I can’t wait to show you your present. Don’t look outside.”
“That’s too much,” said Rebecca. “You shouldn’t have gotten me a present, too.”
“Do I get a present? Do I get a present?” Tess hopped up and down, her skirt popping open like an umbrella.
“When you graduate,” said Sarah.
Tess pouted, but hugged her great-grandmother anyway. They turned to spy Judd thumping down the stairs, looking marginally better than before. His thick hair was brushed back from his face, which appeared freshly scrubbed. Sarah kissed him and he wiped his cheek with the back of his hand.
Gerald and I flew to our side of the mantel and landed on the shelf near Iris. She caught Easy after he slid down the candlestick. When Easy saw me, he tapped his mouth.
“He’s hungry, too. Can we eat yet?” Horc asked.
“In a minute,” said Iris. “What did you find? Was Easy right?”
“We found trow.” Gerald straightened up to his full insubstantial height and tried to look like an expert. “They’re harmless.”
“I wouldn’t say that exactly. I just know that Soren wasn’t afraid of them,” I said.
“What do we do?” asked Iris.
I shrugged. “There’s nothing to do until they wake up.”
“I’ll get some food,” said Gerald.
“All right,” I said. “Get a carrying bag first and make sure you get enough for everyone.”
Gerald blushed a furious pink to the tips of his ears. “You mean by myself?”
“Sure. If you can handle it?”
Gerald spread his wings slightly. “I’ll do it.”
“Call out if you need anything and be careful. There’s a lot of activity going on out there.”
“Don’t worry about me.” Gerald hovered above us for a second and then flitted over the edge of the mantel.
“Do you think that was a good idea?” asked Iris.
“Gerald needs to feel important. Just keep a sharp ear out for problems.”
We took the babies inside the mantel. I opened the windows, letting light and delicious smells from the party waft in. With that goodness around me, the disaster didn’t seem so bad. My precious things were shattered, but everything important could be mended. Seeing Sarah made me think that anything was possible. Sarah believed in fairies. It wouldn’t be very hard for her to believe in me. Sarah would take us to Whipplethorn and we would find our parents.
I found Mom’s broom and swept a clean spot in Iris’s room. It remained the least messy. “Iris, let’s put the babies in here.”
Iris found a clean blanket and laid Easy on it. He yawned and rolled over. I sat Horc down and he pinched his nose. “Stink.”
“Smell that, do you?” asked Iris. “That’s my mattress you ruined.”
Horc blinked at her as though he had no idea what she was talking about. I found the mattress on the other side of the room folded in half.
“We have to get rid of it,” I gasped.
Iris nodded and pointed to the window. We dragged the mattress over to the window and tried to stuff it through. The mattress wouldn’t begin to fit, so I got one of dad’s saws and cut it in half. That didn’t work either, but cutting it into quarters did. When we pushed the last bit out of the window, I leaned out to see where the pieces had fallen just in time to see one of the dogs suck them up his left nostril.
“Gross,” I said.
“What happened?” Iris pushed past me and looked.
“You don’t want to know.”
“One of the dogs is sneezing. I wonder if dogs get colds,” said Iris as Gerald returned carrying two bags and glowing with pride.
“I got so much. You won’t believe it,” he said.
We ate cheese and fruit and a type of dark pungent bread none of us recognized. The babies went to sleep on a pallet in Iris’s room and I started cleaning in earnest. By the time I got the kitchen in order, the party outside was in full swing. Iris stopped working every few minutes to peek out and admire the dresses or the food. I hardly got any work out of her after I told her about Sarah. Iris gave me reports on Sarah’s movements every five minutes.
“It’s getting dark outside, Matilda. The sun must be going down,” said Iris.
“Okay. I think we should just take all the broken furniture down to Dad’s workshop to get it out of the way until he can fix it,” I said.
“Sarah is really old. She might go home. You better go out there and talk to her.”
“She’s never going to notice me in all that excitement. I’ll wait until people start going home.”
“But it might be too late then.”
Iris had a point, but I didn’t think it could be helped. It was really hard for a human to see a fairy. If there were distractions around, it would be impossible.
Iris leaned out the window. “Come and look, Matilda.” Iris’s dress hiked up and revealed her dimpled thighs. She looked just the way she had the morning the humans came to Whipplethorn.
“They just rolled in this huge desk with a bow,” Iris said.
The desk was the one Sarah purchased at the antique mall. Now it shone with fresh lemon oil and had a red bow on top. Rebecca hugged Sarah and wiped tears from her eyes.
Iris turned to me. “Rebecca said it’s just like Grandpa’s fairy desk, isn’t it? What does that mean?”
“Sarah’s husband used to tell stories about fairies living in his father’s desk,” I said.
“What happened to that desk?”
“The family sold it when they lost all their money.” I smoothed back my hair. “Help me find my yellow dress. It’s the brightest.”
“Are you going to talk to her now?”
“As soon as I get ready.”
Iris found my dress wadded up under my dresser. I shook the broken glass off and slipped it on. Iris combed my hair, and rubbed some of Mom’s favorite scent on my wrists for good measure. Gerald stopped his trash hauling to check out my new look. He nodded his approval and went back to work. Iris led me to the front door and then hugged me.
“I just know you’ll do it. Gerald is right. You can do anything.”
Iris’s face shone with her belief in me. I kissed her forehead to hide my own expression. One second I was sure I could do it and the next I felt I was inadequate to the task. What made me think I could do it, when six generations said I couldn’t?
I flew out the door and wove my way through the crowded room past adults and children. They were carrying plates of food with such delightful smells they almost distracted me from my mission. I glanced back at the mantel. It gleamed with two dozen candles lit on top and Iris waving at me from the front door. Her smiling face was all the inspiration I needed.
Sarah sat alone upstairs, dozing in a cushioned chair in the big bedroom. I fluttered around the room, trying to work up a plan. Trying was so scary. If I failed, who knew when I’d get another opportunity. I could wait around all night, but it was clear no plan was going to form in my brain. There was nothing for it but to go ahead.
I circled Sarah’s head twice, looking for a place to land. Sarah’s hands lay folded in her lap. Her thumb looked like the best, most-stable spot. I hovered over it for a second and then landed. My feet touched the wrinkled warm skin and I looked up at Sarah’s face. Nothing. No reaction at all.
“Sarah. Wake up!” I shouted.
Sarah didn’t move. I shouted until my voice grew hoarse and tears ran down my face. It wasn’t working. How would I tell Iris and Gerald and the babies? They were so sure I could do it. I yelled again, my voice cracking and strained. I spread my wings and stomped as hard as I could, driving my heels into Sarah’s tender skin. I teetered and almost fell off. But I managed steady myself and look up at Sarah once more. A sigh escaped Sarah’s faded lips and her eyes opened. Just a glimpse of blue at first and then before I could think, those eyes looked right at me.
I held my breath. Sarah shook her head. Her soft silver hair caressed her cheeks. Those blue eyes stayed on me, but drooped toward sleep. I waved my arms over my head. I stomped. I shouted. I was so close. Sarah blinked and her gaze grew more intense. A little thrill of satisfaction shivered through my body.
“Gram?” Rebecca’s voice came from behind me.
Sarah’s eyes popped open and she sat up straight. “Yes, dear?”
“No!” I screamed, waving more frantically than ever.
“Are you ready to go? Evan will drive you,” said Rebecca.
“I’m ready. Give me a hand up, will you?”
I spread my wings and drove my heels into Sarah’s knuckle. “No! See me. You have to see me.”
Sarah’s eyes stayed on Rebecca’s face. I jumped up and down, but I couldn’t get Sarah to look at me again.
Rebecca patted her grandmother’s shoulder. “You had the funniest look in your eyes when I came in. Were you daydreaming?”
Sarah smiled up at her. “I certainly hope so.”
Rebecca lifted Sarah to her feet and I tumbled off her thumb. I didn’t try to break my fall. I let myself roll down the length of Sarah’s body and land on the cushy carpet. Sarah took a careful step. She wavered on her feet. Rebecca held her arm and put another around her waist.
“Why do you hope you were dreaming?” asked Rebecca.
I watched the women with tears rolling down my chin.
“Because I thought I saw something that couldn’t possibly be there. It had to be a dream since I’m not senile yet. I hope to avoid that particular indignity.”
Rebecca led Sarah away from me. “I wouldn’t worry about that. You’re sharper than most people I know.”
Their voices faded from my ears as soon as they crossed the room. I sat with my legs splayed, just the way Mom taught me not to. It wasn’t dignified for a girl, but I didn’t feel like pretending to be dignified. I was a big failure. Sitting nicely wouldn’t change that. My wings drooped on the carpet and my black hair concealed my lap as I slumped, trying to think of a way to tell the others what happened without causing them give up hope. I stared out the doorway, wondering what to do next, when a brilliant flash of blue made me sit up. Tess danced past the door, followed by her brother, who wasn’t dancing so much as fighting, his imagination in full flight. He swung an imaginary sword and pretended to get bashed on the head.
A flicker of hope alighted in my mind.
Children.
Dad once said that children were more likely to see fairies. They were more open to possibilities. I’d never been able to test the theory since children didn’t often hike in the national forest next to Whipplethorn, just grizzled men smelling of stale sweat and mosquito repellent.
I jumped to my feet and fluttered to the doorway. Both Tess and Judd’s doors were open. They were getting ready for bed, undressing and apparently not shy about it. They stripped to their underpants and slipped on pajamas. Judd resumed his sword fight and Tess danced in a circle, flapping her arms. I never considered Judd given his sweaty boy stink and went straight into the girl’s room. Tess flapped over to her bookcase and chose a book called
Pippi Longstocking
. Two legs with miss-matched stockings and enormous shoes decorated the cover. Tess dashed to her bed, flung herself on it, bounced twice, and burrowed under the covers.
I waited as Tess settled herself on her fluffy pillows. She pulled multiple pins out of her hair and unwound the long braids from around her head. She ran her fingers through her hair until it lay shimmering in soft waves down over the covers. She picked up her book and opened it, propping it on her chest. Then I flew over and landed on Tess’s pillow. But the pillow was so soft I couldn’t keep my footing and slid down the slick fabric until I landed on Tess’s shoulder. Tess didn’t notice, but at that moment I didn’t care. The book, the human book, was open to me. Its large black letters decorated the page just like in fairy books.
Tess’s lips mouthed the words. I settled on her shoulder and read along. Every page or so Tess giggled. I considered getting Iris so she could read the book, too, but I couldn’t make myself miss a second. The story enchanted me. A little girl all alone in the world having adventures and longing for her lost parent. The book could’ve been written for me personally.
“Tess,” said her mom, Rebecca, from the doorway. “Ten minutes until lights out.”
“Okay. Night, Mom,” said Tess, not bothering to look up from the page.