A Delicious Mistake (10 page)

Chapter Six: Desire Has a Will of Its Own

               
The Serengeti didn’t bring her any peace. Sarah’s first night back in Africa
was perhaps the most restless night she’d had to endure ever since the news of
her brother’s death had reached her family. Despite having spent many a night
as a child in this bed, she tossed and turned. The space seemed entirely
unfamiliar to her now. Contrasting and disturbing dreams left her in a cold
sweat.

She
woke from horrific visions of her brother’s awfully mangled body, so vivid in
her mind that she curled into a ball and cried into her pillow. Other
dreams…well, other dreams brought entirely different visions. They were of
Benjamin—of his smile and his laugh. Of him teasing her like he had when she’d
been a girl. She’d had these dreams before—dreams of his large hands touching
her face, her arms, her body. Of his smile turning into a hot, searing look
that lit an answering fire deep inside her. Of his sensual mouth and how it
would be to kiss him—to touch him. She woke wet and aching, and all because of
one man—Benjamin Ndlovo.

She
awoke from the last sexual dream a little before dawn. To her dismay, she found
her sweat wasn’t just sweat. From between her thighs she dripped with need. Her
heart thudded with longing, her whole body tingled with arousal. In her dreams,
Benjamin had grown into the most beautiful man she had ever laid eyes upon, the
embodiment of any woman’s erotic fantasy. Tall, dark, exotic, and completely in
control of his own sexual energy in a way that European males simply were not.
He had touched her in ways she had never even thought possible. He thrust deep
into her with slow, languid moves. He buried his face in her long auburn hair,
inhaling the scent of her. He ran callused but gentle hands all over her body,
feeling every inch of her skin as if he were exploring an unknown and yet
already beloved territory. He had been enamored with her and bewitched by
her—in her dreams. He had ravished her and loved her in the deepest, most
physical sense of the term.

And
Sarah had offered herself to him, willingly and completely. Pliant, hungry,
impatient, she had been electrically and sexually charged as she had never been
before.

It must be Africa
,
she thought.

The
overpowering sensations of the dream were still very much with her as she sat
up in bed, breathing heavily, incredulous at what the night had brought her.
What was she doing, having erotic dreams about Benjamin? She didn’t even have
the faintest idea what he looked like these days. It had been eleven years
since she had last set eyes on him. But even then, she remembered, she had been
enthralled with him. At just over twenty years of age, he had been beautiful
with a powerful, square, chiseled jaw that had made him look so masculine. Not
to mention his abundance of lean, well-formed muscles, the result of an active
life on the Serengeti plains where he had spend most of his time helping his
father, who had also been a ranger.

Maybe
it was just her old bed—the bed where she had once laid for hours, dreaming of
him and wishing he would notice her.

She
had looked at him with the eyes of a girl back then. Her feelings for him had
deeply affected her. Hell, she had filled out a whole diary detailing her
schoolgirl crush on him. Even after all these years, she felt herself blush
furiously as she remembered how Luke had found that diary. Her brother hadn’t
said anything as he handed it back to her, claiming she had left it in the
library. She had known from the mischievous look in his eyes that he had read
it. She had also been sure he had told all to Benjamin. It had been the most
mortifying occurrence of her young life. But the feelings of humiliation had
passed quickly, and she had found herself unable to get over her fixation for
the tall, handsome young African with his dark brown eyes. Every time he’d
winked at her, Sarah had gone weak in the knees.

It
had taken her family moving back all the way to England for her to get over her
crush. But she couldn’t figure out why now she was thinking of him again like
this. Why she was dreaming of him with the dreams of a woman? Why she was
responding to the image of him with the body of a woman? Sarah had had erotic
dreams before, of course, but never so intense. It felt like her whole body was
throbbing with desire.

What
was wrong with her? Perhaps it was the long, exhausting journey she had just
endured. After all, pleasuring herself had always worked to relax her. Perhaps
her frazzled nerves had sought solace in the only thing that had never failed
to provide it, and her mind reacted to being back in Tanzania by conjuring up
images of Benjamin. After all, the mind was a strange thing, and it liked to
play tricks.

Still,
it disturbed her that she had dreamed up erotic scenarios for a man who might
have killed her brother—or at the very least a man who had failed her brother.

Her
stomach churned suddenly, and she shot out of bed and made a rush for the
private bathroom in her bedroom. She emptied the contents of her stomach into
the toilet, kneeling on the cool tiles. When the heaving subsided, leaving her
sweating and weak, she stood on shaky legs and stumbled to the sink. She didn’t
dare to take a look in the mirror hanging above the faucet. She couldn’t face
how bad she must look. She certainly felt like something the cat not only had
dragged in but eaten and spit back up. She imagined pale skin and sunken eyes
with dark circles around them, and strands of auburn hair plastered to her
face.

Keeping
her eyes well averted from the mirror, she splashed her face with cold water
and brushed her teeth. By the time she finished, the lingering sensations from
her dreams had dissipated. So had all traces of sleep. She felt wired, as if
she had just ingested large amounts of caffeine. She was too frazzled and
agitated to go back to bed.

Heading
back to her bedroom, she dressed in clean clothes. Practical clothes, too—a
pair of khaki shorts, a black tank top, short socks and hiking boots. There was
just no room for fashion trends on the Serengeti. Sarah had no trouble
abandoning her vanity and slipping back into the comfort of garments that would
allow her to walk far and run fast if needed. She wouldn’t need to, hopefully,
but you never really knew—not in Africa.

By
the time she was ready to start her day, her emotions were still all over the
place. Guilt for her dreams, lingering regret, nervousness that she would
confront Benjamin today—the feelings tumbled around inside her. She smothered
them, pushing them deep down where she wouldn’t find them and, most
importantly, they wouldn’t find
her
for a while. It was time to go with
the plan and allow action to help her forget her grief for a little while.

Sarah
walked out of her bedroom and crept downstairs. She could hear Lindiwele already
busy in the kitchen, humming and talking to what must be other members of the
household staff. She managed to avoid them all without being seen. Once
outside, she took a deep breath and inhaled deeply, allowing the cool Serengeti
morning air to seep into her lungs. In the East, the sun was rising over the
plains, a bight ball of yellow-orange. The birds had come out and she could
hear them fluttering and chattering in the nearby trees. Once again, Sarah
found herself unable to appreciate the sight. The loss of Luke still tainted
everything. Without a second thought, she headed right for headquarters, where
she was sure she would catch Benjamin before he headed off on his first patrol
of the day.

Let’s get this over with
,
she thought.

But
as much as she tried to concentrate on practical matters, she found herself
unable to really shake off her thoughts, emotions, and those lingering,
betraying sensations from her dreams. Both the ones about Benjamin and the ones
about Luke lurked close, as if waiting to jump out again. She took hardly any
notice of where she was going and put her stare on the ground right in front of
her feet. She really shouldn’t have been surprised when she slammed into a very
solid, formidable obstacle with such force that she found herself falling
backwards and landing on her ass.

“Are
you all right?” a deep, smooth voice said.

Blinking
in confusion, she looked up.

A
large, dark hand grabbed her arm and pulled her upright. She shook the help
off, blinked again, and realization slammed into focus at the sight of the man
in front of her.

He
was the most beautiful man she had ever seen. Tall, dark, and handsome was a
description that fit him as perfectly as his ranger’s uniform. The partly
unbuttoned shirt hinted at a strong chest underneath the fabric. Morning
sunlight glinted off high cheekbones and a square, chiseled jaw.
I could get
lost in those dark, dark eyes
, she thought.

Her
own eyes widened and her heart did a somersault in her chest. She knew him. She
more than knew him. Her mouth dried and the word stuttered out, “Benjamin?”

She
swayed and he grabbed her arm again. She jerked away, stumbled, and almost fell
again. The world narrowed to just this one man. Breathing fast and hard, Sarah
put a hand to her chest. This was the man she had been dreaming of—this was the
boy she had once loved, grown into someone who should have been dear to her.
For all she knew, he could very well have killed her brother.

He
searched her face carefully. He stared back at her with the same incredulity
etched on his handsome features that pounded inside her. “Sarah?”

Something
crackled between them, something invisible but almost tangible in its power.
She felt it run over her skin and settle in her chest. She had to keep telling
herself that this wasn’t the boy she had known. This was a towering, deeply
attractive man. Those chiseled good looks of his had grown more defined and
striking. At six feet he loomed over her. With those broad shoulders and
athletic build she could see him hunting a lion with nothing more than a spear,
the way his ancestors once had. He would also be a match against any man. She
wet her lips and pulled in a breath, trying to slow the rapid breathing before
she hyperventilated.

His
deep, dark eyes roamed over her with the same kind of unspoken surprise and
appreciation that she knew she felt for him. What had just sparked between them
was chemistry, an attraction as intense and undeniable as it was inappropriate.
This man wasn’t a man Sarah could allow herself to be attracted to, not given
the circumstances.

She
straightened and pushed her shoulders back. Her weak-kneed, love-struck days
were well behind her. She simply
had
to know better than to give even
one thought to how incredibly good looking Benjamin Ndlovo had grown up to be.
Admittedly, he had an aura of pure
maleness
about him that he would make
any adult female question her principles of good behavior and common decency.
But not Sarah. Not her. No. She would not give in to that. She would not give
in to
him
.

She
searched for and found the wave of red-hot anger she had directed at herself
for one deplorable moment of weakness and purposefully turned it on him.

“How
could you?” she asked.

Benjamin
stared at her, dumfounded. “Excuse me?”

“He
trusted you! We all did.” She spat out the words, hoping to wound him as she
had been wounded—hoping he would at least understand and explain.

Benjamin
frowned. He narrowed his eyes and the pulse beat in his jaw. “Sarah, what are
you saying?”

“Why
are you the prime suspect behind my brother’s murder?” Sarah kept her voice
low. She didn’t want anyone else to hear. She didn’t want to fire off a public
accusation. Not yet. Not until—or rather not unless—she had proof.

Benjamin
shook his head. His shoulders drooped and for an instant Sarah wanted to reach
out and grab her words back. She forced her hands into fists. For all she knew
Benjamin had used such a look on her brother—used it to lure him into a
friendship that Benjamin had betrayed. Sorrow etched his voice along with
bitterness as he said, “I’m the last person who saw him alive.”

 Pulling
in a breath, Sarah suddenly wondered if that was the truth and why Benjamin
hadn’t stopped her brother. Why hadn’t he kept Luke safe? Maybe he wasn’t the man
who had killed Luke, but was he the man who had allowed Luke to walk into a
deadly trap. She had to know—and yet, she also didn’t want to know. Suddenly,
the truth seemed a fearful thing. Voice shaking, she forced the words out. “And
why is that?”

“Sarah,
you can’t possibly believe—?”

“What
am I supposed to believe, Benjamin?” She slashed a hand in the air, cutting him
off verbally and physically. “You tell me, Benjamin Ndlovo. Why is my brother
dead? Why are
you
being investigated?” He turned away from her. Fury
burned in her guts. Stepping in front of him, she faced him and lashed out.
“Why did you let it happen?”

* * *

               
Benjamin rocked back and away from Sarah—his Sarah. Only was she that anymore?

               
She glared at him as if he was a stranger to her—a hated enemy.

               
He had glimpsed a woman striding across the compound and had gone to meet her,
wondering if it could indeed be who he thought. That mass of flaming red hair
had reminded him of his Sarah, but with her eyes down he hadn’t been able to
see if this woman had the striking emerald green eyes he remembered in the girl
he had known. With her stare locked to the ground, she strode forward. He had
tried to side step, but she collided with him. Instinctively, he had reached
out to steady her. When it had been evident there was no avoiding a fall, he
had tried to help her back onto her feet. She had batted off his hands as if
she couldn’t bear his touch.  Now that he looked at her—
truly
looked at her—he was unprepared for what he saw.