A Constant Reminder (20 page)

“Well I was like the black sheep in my family. I did drugs. That’s an understatement. Actually I had a real bad drug problem, a serious heroin addiction.”

“You’re okay now right?”

“Yes yes that was years ago. I went into a few rehabs and that didn’t work. I was young and stupid. I just got completely out of control. This all happened after my father died. My mother kicked me out of the house for good reason. I was a total mess.”

“She kicked you out?”

“I refused to go back to rehab. I was stealing to feed my habit.” Adam could feel Roxanne’s heartbeat picking up a frantic pace. “Roxanne I’m not trying to upset you.”

“Adam there was no way I would ever figure this stuff out. Drugs, you are so fit, so healthy. Why are you telling me this now?” Roxanne tried to slow her heart rate.

“I’m telling you because I don’t want there to be any secrets between us. I want you to trust me.”

“I do. I do trust you.”

“I was so hooked on smack that I started robbing people. I was with this older guy. He was on drugs too. We were knocking over convenience stores for money to feed our drug addiction.”

“How did you stop?”

“To make a long story short. This one time the guy I was with, Tony, he shot a guy in a store and the guy died. I went to jail because I was an accomplice. I’ve only been out of jail for a little over two years.”

Roxanne sat up in bed. She looked away. She needed to wholly comprehend what she had heard. She reached over to the bedside table and clicked the table lamp on. Now Adam was sitting up looking at her.

“I don’t know what reaction I should have. Did you just tell me you killed somebody?”

“Yes. I didn’t actually have the gun. I didn’t actually pull the trigger but I was convicted of armed robbery and second-degree murder.”

“So you are a criminal.”

“An ex-con, a felon, a recovering addict.”

“Why would you tell me this now?”

“I want to be with you completely and I want you to know the truth. I feel like I’ve been lying to you. I have been lying to you.”

“Adam what the hell? I moved you into my apartment with my daughter.”

“I know. I love you and I can’t keep secrets from you. I also--”

“There’s more?” Roxanne cut him off. She inched away from him.

“Yeah there’s more. The garage where I work, I own it. Working there just keeps me busy.”

“What?”

“It belonged to my family and when I got out of jail my mother gave it to me as a year out of jail without getting into trouble anniversary present. I’m going to probably end up with a part of the family architectural firm in a few years.

“This is just so much to take in at one time. I don’t even know how I’m supposed to feel.”

“I know this is more than you imagined.” Adam was whispering. “It’s not the alcohol making me spill my guts. I just want to be honest with you. I’m not that loser I used to be. I’m really just a good guy, a good guy that loves you. I want you to know that.”

“I don’t know what to say. I’m confused.”

“I would never hurt you in anyway. I would never hurt Morgan in anyway. I love you. I would do anything for you.”

“So what more is there?”

“There is no more.”

“Adam you dumped all this on my lap in one huge pile. Is this it?”

“Yes.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“Please don’t lie to me.”

“I’m not.”

“Do you have any illegitimate kids out there?”

“No.”

“You say you’re not doing drugs but are you selling them?”

“No.”

“How can I believe you?”

“Do you believe I love you?”

“Ah yeah, I do.” She did. She may have a lot of questions for him but his love for her seemed genuine.

“Well believe that I would never do anything that would make you leave me. I’m legit now. I’m clean now. I live to make you happy.”

There was a brief period of silence. Roxanne wanted to cry but she was much too traumatized for tears. She had never ever seen Adam get mad or upset about anything. Now he was a killer? She would have never believed it if he didn’t tell her himself. What about him owning the garage? Did he say he owned more than one? Does that mean he’s rich? He drives an old Jeep? What if he starts doing drugs again?

Adam lay down on his side. He draped his arm over Roxanne’s waist. He snuggled into the side of her butt. Roxanne sat there like a naked statue. She looked down at his head and wanted to punch him in his skull. How dare he ruin her pristine dream of him and the future she believed they would have together. Her eyes rolled to the ceiling.

She glared down at Adam and realized he had fallen asleep.

***

Roxanne acted like the things Adam had disclosed to her didn’t matter. She knew in her heart that it was wrong to go about life like she hadn’t really heard the words, armed-robbery, murder, heroin and ex-convict. She didn’t know what to say. She didn’t know how she felt. She had a pattern of ignoring things and acting like they never happened. This instance didn’t prove to be any different.

She didn’t fear Adam. He never did anything odd or disturbing. After he bought the drug test and took it in front of her there wasn’t much she worried about. He had even taken an HIV test. So she felt secure and safe. But that was how he had always made her feel.

Things just went on like normal because things were normal. They were better than ever. Roxanne knew the truth and Adam had gotten a huge weight off his chest. Roxanne refused to deny that these where the best ten months of her adult life, relationship wise.

Everything was on track. Adam went to work at Jimmy’s Lube. Roxanne went to work at MetLife.

Today Adam went to work in the morning with the sole goal of doing the books. He went to the backroom and took a seat behind the desk. His heart wasn’t in it but it had to be done. He had only been there an hour when he heard a knock on his door.

Today he was there to do the books and take over when the crew went on break.

“Yes!” He yelled loud enough to be heard through the closed door.

“You have a visitor.”

Adam got up and opened the door to Erika standing in his office doorway.

“Hello.” Adam dryly offered. What did she want?

“Hey.”

A visit like this would have scared Adam but he knew Roxanne was safe and sound. He had just talked to her ten minutes ago. “Can I help you?”

Erika walked into the office and closed the door behind her giving them some privacy. “Can you?”

“Don’t know.” Adam shrugged. Erika didn’t irritate him nearly as much as he irritated her. He remained calm although she had her hands on her hips glaring down at him.

“I know who you are.”

“Great.”

His flippant remark enraged her even more. “I looked you up. I know you’ve been in prison.”

Adam stopped typing numbers into his old calculator to stare at her. “Are you here to blackmail me or threaten me? You’re going to have to tell me. I’m just not smart enough to figure out your motives.”

“You served time for murder.”

“”So what.” Adam leaned back in his chair. He was being cocky. He knew his demeanor and was dismissive attitude was fueling the fire but he didn’t care about Erika’s feelings. She had never seemed to care about his.

“I know you killed someone.”

“Okay.”

“Okay, okay, okay. I’m going to tell Roxanne. You are going to have to pack up your stuff and get out. Do you think she wants a felon in the same apartment as her daughter?”

“I don’t know. Maybe you should ask her.”

“You are one smug bastard. I can’t wait to see that stupid smile jump off your face when my girl finds out the truth.”

“Erika, I’m busy. I’m not sure what your master plan was here but I don’t actually care.”

“If that’s how you want to play it. I got you cold in your lies. I knew you were on something, once a liar always a liar. Do you even own this place?”

“You didn’t run a credit check? For future reference the next time you confront your friends boyfriend maybe you need to do a background check, a credit check and a medical records check in addition to the criminal background check.” He taunted her.

“Fuck you.”

“Not in this lifetime. I have work to do so you have a good day.”

Erika walked up to his desk. She didn’t like his sarcasm and his nonchalant attitude. If she didn’t like him before she hated him now.

Adam had her in his line of sight. He didn’t look mean or vicious. He looked at her like she was a crazy person. After they quietly stared at each other for a few minutes Erika decided to leave. She slammed the door to his office when she left out of it.

As soon as the door slammed, Adam chuckled. Erika had nerve. Before this he wondered if Roxanne had told her about him. It was obvious today that she hadn’t.

Adam wasn’t sure why Erika refused to stay in her designated role of best friend. She was trying to control his relationship with Roxanne. It was getting old and tired and he wished she would have a kid, get a guy or just move away. He thought he would never be that lucky.

CHAPTER 15

Erika was fuming from her brief visit with Adam. She expected more than what she got. He was always so calm and cool under pressure. He acted like some kind of robot. He was always in control. He was always being nice. No one is that nice. He was full of shit and he was a real criminal. He killed someone and she couldn’t wait to tell Roxanne that her Mr. Right was a convicted murderer.

Roxanne agreed to meet Erika at the mall after work. She hadn’t seen Erika all week so she thought the mall was a great place to meet. She had explained to Erika that she needed to buy a birthday gift for a girl in Morgan’s class.

Erika was nervous about telling Roxanne the truth about Adam. She knew that Roxanne would be upset. She probably would start crying. She didn’t want to hurt Roxanne but she wanted her to see that she was right about Adam.

He was a fake and a lying ass bastard. She wouldn’t have any problem helping Roxanne kick him out her apartment. Roxanne walked alongside Erika down the center of the mall. She pointed into a storefront window.

“We have to go in here.”

Erika followed Roxanne into the children’s clothing store.

“Why didn’t you bring Morgan with us?” Erika hoped Morgan wasn’t with Adam. She was checking to make sure.

“My mom took her to the movies.”

“Adam is going to pick her up for me.”

“Adam is going to pick her up? Uh!” Erika knew that wasn’t going to happen.

Erika’s sigh was so loud it made Roxanne stop in her tracks. “Erika please don’t start. You don’t have any legitimate reason to dislike him. You thought he was poor. He’s not. You thought he was uneducated. He has a Bachelor’s degree.”

“He changes oil.”

“His family has money.”

“His mother has money.”

“No he owns that oil change place. He owns three of them. You know that.” Roxanne hoped that maybe that would help Erika shut her trap.

“So now we know he’s loaded. So he lied to you?”

“No he didn’t. Seriously Erika, I never asked him if he owned a business. I just assumed that he didn’t.”

“Maybe the next time you move some random ass dude in your place you might want to ask some questions and do a background check.”

“I’ll think about it.”

“Has he ever been arrested?”

“No.” The lie flew out of Roxanne’s mouth before she could think about it. “Wait, why did you ask me that?”

“Where does Teri work?”

“She does hair and works downtown at the county jail.”

“I had Teri look your boyfriend up in the database and I found out some things that he has been hiding from you.”

“What that he’s been convicted of armed robbery and second degree murder?”

Erika was too stunned to say anything. It took her minutes to recover, regroup and react to Roxanne’s declaration.

“How did you know?” Erika ultimately asked when the initial shock wore off.

“He told me.”

“And you didn’t tell me.”

“I don’t tell you everything.”

“Why, I’m your best friend?”

“I don’t tell you everything because you are too judgmental. You already don’t like him.”

“I’m just watching your back. I’m looking out for you.”

“Thank you but I have Adam for that now.” Roxanne knew those words would sting but she said them anyway. She wanted to slap Erika with words the way she had done to her so many times in the past. She knew it was petty and regretted it right away.

“I just can’t believe--”

“What is it about him you don’t like?”

“Do you want me to write a list?”

“See I knew this wouldn’t work out.”