A Changed Life (31 page)

Simon didn’t want me to witness the coach’s tirade, so he asked me if he could catch up with me at lunch. Of course I said yes, and quickly headed back to the quad. Simon indeed took a tongue lashing from his coach. He was just caught hanging out with his girlfriend, instead of working out as promised. All Coach Johnson cared about was a win this Saturday, so Simon calmed him down, and explained what he walked in on. His coach didn’t know what happened to me, and Simon didn’t bring him up to speed since it wasn’t his business. Simon did make it clear that he understood his obligations to his teammates, and was just asking for some patience from his coach. Simon assured his coach that what he was going through personally would not affect his role as captain.

Simon said he would gladly step down as captain if Coach Johnson couldn’t bend a little, but he would have none of that, and just dropped it. My teachers all greeted me with the same surprised reaction my friends did. They were all happy I was back in school, and I was too.

School flew by today, and I didn’t have much homework since I had finished most of it during study hall. I wasn’t medically cleared yet to participate in gym class, so I had time to work on my assignments. Simon’s bike was in the shop, so he drove in with Sam. I was happy to give him a ride home when he asked me.

On our way through town, Simon asked me to pull over by the botanical gardens. It housed a gigantic fountain. Some say it was magical, and all wishes were granted. I laughed the first time Simon brought me here, and told me the legendary story behind it.

He ran over to the fountain and threw in a coin. He stayed there for a few minutes, and returned back to my car. “What was that all about” I asked him.

“Just backing up a wish I had made a while ago.” Simon gave me the sexiest wink, and kissed me. He was so adorable when he was happy.

I had called my mom to let her know I was with Simon, and not to worry about me. Mom was happy I was safe. Simon and I picked up some take-out from the Juice Bar, and just talked while we ate our food. I brought him up to speed with everything involving my Uncle Jack and my parents, he was incredibly supportive.

I think he even questioned my sanity at one point, and why I wasn’t freaking out about the new dynamics of my family. I explained that I always felt Uncle Jack could be my dad, and why I thought that. Simon laughed and then got serious again, when I glared at him. I didn’t feel anything had to change with knowing this new information regarding my D.N.A., so we all needed to move on and continue to be a family.

We were having a fabulous time, easily talking with each other, and sharing so much. I wasn’t sure if this was the right time to bring up a highly sensitive topic, but I had to try. I hadn’t even discussed this with my parents yet, only Dr. Jonas. I asked Simon to hear me out, and let me get through what I needed to say to him before he responded. He sat up, and I knew I had his full attention.

“Simon, there is a strong possibility that I may be pregnant. Michael didn’t use protection when he raped me.” I let out my breath, and waited for Simon’s reaction.

Simon’s beautiful smile vanished, and his face went ashen. I knew if I ever was going to lose him, this revelation could do it. It didn’t happen the way I predicted in my head. Simon just wrapped his strong arms around me. “No matter what, Nicolette, we will always work out whatever life presents to us. All you need to do is trust me, and believe I will take care of you.”

As he held me in his arms, I have never felt more secure in my whole life than at this moment. I trusted Simon’s feelings for me. I trusted that if I gave him my heart, my whole heart, he would never break it, and this I knew to be true.

Walking me to my front door, our hands were linked together. Happy I was with Simon, and forgetting for a short while all that has happened to me in the past few weeks. Saying goodbye never gets easier, especially after the last few hours I have spent with Simon. Choking back a few tears, I looked up into his beautiful eyes. “I love you Simon.”

“I love you too, so much. Now in you go, and my voice will be the last you hear before you go to sleep tonight.”

When I walked through my front door, I wasn’t sure if I was in the right house. It sure looked different from the time I left this morning. My home was transformed into a Christmas scene from Disneyland. One of the places I wanted to visit, and still haven’t had a chance to yet. Disneyland came to me, and it’s in my living room.

Scanning the room and taking in the beautiful lights and decorations, I held my hands together and clapped like a little girl. “What have you done?” I asked my parents and Uncle Jack, who were all smiling back at me. My dad looked like he was going to combust, he was so happy. Mom spoke first and explained to me since our family had missed our first Christmas here in California, we would celebrate today. They got the idea after I made my decision by returning to school. This was my family trying to make me feel better. My heart was bursting with love for all of them.

I blinked back tears while mom embraced me. I thanked them for their beautiful surprise. How could I not love it? We sat in front of the fireplace, as Uncle Jack prepared some s’mores for dessert. All that was missing that would make this night complete was Aunt Sara. I didn’t know until now how much I missed her.

I almost wanted to mark today as a Vanelle national holiday. It was perfect, and I couldn’t thank my family enough for what they did for me. Dad promised me when we can put Michael behind us, we will all go to the real Disney Land, and celebrate. I tried to remain optimistic that things would work out.

I finally said good night to my family, and made my way upstairs. I was exhausted, but in a good way. I couldn’t have asked for a better day with my friends and family. I quickly changed and got ready for bed, waiting for Simon to call. I checked my computer for e-mails, etc. I was horrified to see news alerts on my Google page about me. I scanned link after link finding news about my attack all over the internet. I felt sick to my stomach. I put my hand over my mouth, but I couldn’t stop it. I leaped off my bed, and just made it in time to turn my stomach inside out. My mom heard me and ran in to check on me. After seeing what was on my computer, she knew this was why I was so sick.

“Mom, I can’t believe it, how is it all over the news and internet? I thought we had a gag order? I cried out. My name has been released! Oh my god, everyone is going to know what Michael did to me.”

I started to hyperventilate, and my mom not knowing what to do, called out for my father. Dad had seen me have an anxiety attack before; this was my worse one yet. I started to shake and my stomach was doing flips. Dad wasting no time scooped me up to bring me to the hospital, and calling out for Uncle Jack to follow. Dr. Jonas was on call tonight. I was taken in immediately and examined by her. I was put on an IV drip, and given something to calm my nausea. I was left to rest, while my doctor talked with my family. “What’s going on with our daughter? I would have thought her vomiting would have stopped by now.” My mom nervously questioned Dr. Jonas.

“Nicolette is suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder. Seeing the news reports tonight may have been the trigger for her anxiety attack. I have never seen anyone of my patient’s handle their situation in the manner Nicolette has. She is truly the exception. Today she took a huge step by going to school, and interacting with her family and friends. I am in awe of her progress. I only hope her reaction to the news report doesn’t set her back. I would like to keep her overnight for observation, and she can go home in the morning.”

“Could she be pregnant Dr. Jonas?” Uncle Jack questioned.

“Yes, it’s a possibility sir. I have discussed this with Nicolette, and we were waiting for the right time to test her.”

“There’s no reason to put it off any longer. Please run the tests on Nicolette.” Mom instructed Dr. Jonas.

“Before I do anything Mrs. Vanelle, I will have to talk with Nicolette, and get her consent to run the tests. Then after she agrees, I will have my nurse draw Nicolette’s blood right away. I’ll put a rush on the tests, and we should know the results soon.”

“This can’t be happening. Why is this happening to Nicolette? Mason, this is not how it was supposed to be for our daughter. I feel powerless, and everything we seem to do for her to make her feel better gets destroyed with one news report.” Dad and Uncle Jack were silent, and let my mom vent her frustrations and anger. Mom walked away from the two men and ignored their calls, when the asked her where she was going. My family was holding on by a thread worrying about me.

Dad had called Simon to tell him what happened. Simon was frantic, and wanted to join me right away at the hospital. Dad managed to convince him to stay home with his family and promised Simon, he could see me first thing in the morning. Simon didn’t argue, and agreed.

I woke up to see Uncle Jack holding my hand. “Hey Nickel, how are you feeling honey?” I loved it when he called me by my childhood nickname. “I’m ok, Uncle Jack. Please don’t cry for me, because I am so sick of everyone crying. It’s too painful to watch, and knowing it’s me who is responsible for all of your heartache.”

“Nickel, that’s not true. Please don’t blame yourself for this. For weeks now that’s all you have done. Don’t you see none of this is your fault? Please stop worrying about us, and put yourself first for once. As for the crying, we cry because we love you so much. It’s in the handbook and we can’t change the rules now.” I laughed at his joke. He was trying so hard to make me feel better, and I knew the harsh reality was that I was pregnant. I could feel it, somehow. My period was late, and as much as I tried to block it out and remain positive, I knew what the tests results would show.

Dr. Jonas came in a short while later, and told me the news I had expected to hear. I was pregnant with Michael’s child. A child that was created from an act of violence, the brutality of it all made my heart and body numb. I had no tears, just the feeling of complete numbness. Looking to my right, my dad was in a state of shock. Uncle Jack was silent after hearing the news. He walked out of my room and my father followed. I was alone with my harsh reality.

“That son of a bitch has to die Mason. He has to die right now!” Uncle Jack gritted through his teeth.

“You have to calm down, Jack. You can’t talk this way, and he’s in jail where he belongs.”

“You just don’t get it Mason. This animal raped our daughter, and now she’s pregnant. We thought her life was forever changed with the rape, and now being pregnant with that pig’s child? It makes me sick, Mason. What is going to happen to Nicolette now? She has to get rid of it, and it has to be done as soon as possible.”

I heard every word Uncle Jack said to my father. This was not the uncle that I loved. He didn’t even sound the same. I called the nurse in right away, and she asked me what was wrong. I told her to disconnect my IV, and she said no. I was admitted for the night on Dr. Jonas orders. I didn’t care what my chart said. I was an adult, and I was making a decision for me. I demanded the nurse to listen to me. “Look, I need to get the hell out of here, now. If you don’t remove this IV, I will rip it out of my arm myself.”

She paged Dr. Jonas and she came in right away. “What’s wrong, Nicolette what has you so irritated?”

“I need to get out of here, I can’t be here.” I began to breath fast and my heart began to race. She was checking my pulse as beads of sweat covered my forehead. “Dr. Jonas, please listen to me. I feel like the walls are closing in on me, and I’m suffocating. I can’t be here”

“It’s ok Nicolette, take some deep breaths.” While I was focusing on my breathing, she injected something into my IV, and I slowly closed my eyes. When I came out of my sedated slumber, I opened my eyes to see the most beautiful blue eyes staring back at me. Simon was here by my side. My world returned to right every time he looked at me. Suddenly remembering why I was here, I jerked my hand back.

Simon calmed me, and told me that he knows about the baby. My mom had filled him in before visiting with me. I felt ugly. I couldn’t even look at him.