A Bride Worth Billions (84 page)

Conclusion

Thank you again for downloading this book! 

I hope this book was able to help you to build and stay a good impression

The next step is to take this book’s counsel to heart. Start preparing. Be consistent in your character and behavior. Know what provokes you and step away from situations where you might be caught putting up a less than favorable impression. Above all, define who you are and strive to live and act as close to it as you can. The impressions you will make when doing so will be long lasting and will help transform you into the person you want to be.

Finally, if you enjoyed this book, then I’d like to ask you for a favor, would you be kind enough to leave a review for this book on Amazon? It’d be greatly appreciated!

Click here to leave a review for this book on Amazon!

Thank you and good luck!

 Copyright 2015 by
Sean Clive
- All rights reserved.

In no way is it legal to reproduce, duplicate, or transmit any part of this document in either electronic means or in printed format. Recording of this publication is strictly prohibited and any storage of this document is not allowed unless with written permission from the publisher. All rights reserved.

Respective authors own all copyrights not held by the publisher.

Emotional Intelligence:

How to increase, Develop, and Improve your Emotional Intelligence

A Guide to a Happy Life

By:
Sean Clive

Emotional Intelligence

Table of Contents

1.  “Heart” more than “Head”

2. Making the Unpredictable Predictable

3. From Self to Other

4. The Keys to Emotional Intelligence

5.  More Keys To Developing Emotional Intelligence

6. Applications of Emotional Intelligence: Conflict Resolution

Conclusion

I want to thank you and congratulate you for downloading the book, “Emotional Intelligence:  How to increase, Develop, and Improve your Emotional Intelligence”.

Often, day-to-day reality, whether it be at work, at school or at home, presents different situations that call for different role responses.  In addition, situations are diverse and change fast within a single day that appropriate responses or what is thought and felt as appropriate responses, change or shift accordingly. It is no wonder that one ends up stressed and emotionally drained at the end of the day.

In responding to these difficult situations, emotions rule, acting irrationally more on what is felt rather than on what should or ought to be done to resolve the situation on a positive note.   This is not surprising really as traditional parenting has not taught children to understand, control and manage emotions to their advantage.  Emphasis of child development was on the “head” neglecting the “heart” which is the seat of emotions.

Recently, interest on the development of emotions, or what is known as emotional intelligence, to complement the intellect has grown.  Researchers and scholars conclude in their studies that the present social turmoil observed in our modern society is due to the imbalance in the development between intelligence and emotions.  They posited that the social turmoil is caused by emotional needs of members of society that are not met and addressed.  Unmet emotional needs most often lead to anger, depression, hate, anxiety, contempt, low self-esteem.

The same is true on an individual level. For a simple instance, when a person greets a good friend and the greeting is unanswered or is answered noncommittally, the usual emotional response is confusion
(Why didn’t he/she respond?)
, or becomes offended and upset, or even one of anger. 

To reiterate, unmet emotional needs lead to negative emotions which is disturbing to the emotional state of a person. Such is not a healthy and a happy condition of life.  This need not be the case though.  Studies have shown that emotions can be instructed, developed, controlled, and managed to one’s advantage.  Further, a well-developed emotional intelligence could lead to communication with self via reflection and with others leading to a rich, fruitful, and harmonious relationship which is considered as a recipe for a better and improved quality of life.

This book contains proven steps and strategies on how to improve the quality of life of a person by increasing, developing, and improving emotional intelligence.  This book is divided into 6 s.

1
deals with what emotional intelligence is and its importance.  It talks about why a person should take time understanding what emotional intelligence is. This is especially helpful because it only through understands that steps can be taken to address the lack of or enhance and develop the emotional intelligence one possesses. 

2
deals with the development of emotional intelligence.  It shows that emotions that are generally unpredictable can be made predictable through management control of emotions, whether this is on the personal or the social level.

3
deals
with knowing the self and the other in a relationship.  Only in knowing and understanding the self and the other can a healthy and strong relationship be built and sustained.

4, 5, and 6
discuss the five key skills that facilitate in the development of emotional intelligence which could be applied in practical day-to-day situations.

Thanks again for downloading this book. I hope you enjoy it!

Emotional intelligence is a recent phenomenon made possible by observations that focusing on development of intellect alone is not sufficient to address modern-day problems, be it social or personal.  This is due to traditional thought that emotions is nothing more than irrational passions while being intelligent is being reasonable and rational.

More and more, emotions have come to the attention of professionals and nonprofessionals in the corporate world and in the everyday social life of people as a necessary component for a healthy and successful life of a person.  Some would even say that emotional intelligence is more critical for success in life than is intelligence alone. 

Note that in the corporate world, employment would entail examinations which imply possession of a certain degree of intelligence.  Passing employment examinations and getting hired, however, do not guarantee success in the corporate world.  There are an increasing number of corporations that require attitude and outlook as a prerequisite for hiring.

So, what is this emotional intelligence all about that it should occupy a prominent place and be an important component in a person’s life and success?

Emotional intelligence is the ability to:

• understand one’s emotions and reactions or
  self-awareness
  
• manage, control, adapt emotions and reactions or
  self-management
  
• motivate self to take appropriate action or
  motivation
  
• figure out feelings of others and understand their emotions so these can be utilized for an effective relationship or
  empathy/social awareness
  
• develop relationships, interact in social situations, negotiate and resolve conflicts or
  relationship management
  

Now, one can argue that emotions is a natural reaction to stimuli, much like the human reaction of running away from danger or running towards something which is desirable like a sumptuous dinner.  This does not entail much intelligence as learning to read, count, or analyze representations do.  Emotions already exist as it is readily felt.  Is there a need to know more of emotions and emotional intelligence?

This is where misconception on the true nature of emotion lies.  Emotional intelligence is intelligence that provides information such as the meaning of emotions, emotional patterns and sequences evoked by an interaction with self and others, and the analysis of a relationship. Knowing the emotions evoked therefore is the beginning of understanding of self, which awareness in turn shows the way to deal with relationships and situations intelligently.

So yes, emotional intelligence is real and can benefit a person in many ways, such as:

• Physical well-being
  . Stress has considerable impact on a person’s wellness. Wanting to take care of one's body and managing stress is strongly tied to one's emotional intelligence. Awareness of how and why one is stressed is a step towards managing it and be in good health.
  

• Mental health
  . Attitude and outlook in life is directly associated to emotional intelligence.  It determines the level of anxiety, depression, and mood swings of a person.  It follows, therefore, that a person with a high level of emotional intelligence is able to alleviate anxiety, control depression and mood swings and develop positive attitude and outlook in life.
  

• Relationships
  .  Understanding and managing emotions enable one to be clearly expressive of one's feelings and relate with another in a constructive way.  Knowing and understanding the emotions of others, such as their needs, feelings, and reactions, particularly from those we care about enable one to build stronger and lasting relationships.
  

• Conflict resolution
  . Being able to figure out a person’s emotions and empathize with that person's outlook will enable one to resolve conflict or avoid one even before it starts.  A person with high emotional intelligence is better able to negotiate brought about by the understanding of what others feel and want.
  

• Success
  . Higher emotional intelligence helps in developing strong internal motivator which allows a person to resist putting off tasks for a later day, build self-confidence, and work towards a set goal with dedication.  With better relationships built among associates, a person now has a network of support enabling one to remain strong and resilient when setbacks do occur.
  

At this point, the question could be raised if emotional intelligence can be acquired and developed, much like intelligence.  And if acquired, can emotional intelligence be sustained considering that emotional reactions rise in a fleeting second during unfavorable and conflicting interactions.  One does not think first before retorting back but flashes an immediate retort, thereby igniting more unsavory remarks from the other.

True, developing emotional intelligence may seem to be difficult and even impossible especially when experience show that emotions are unpredictable and come in flashes during sticky and conflicting situations.  A line in the song of Maria in the Sound of Music film comes to mind: “
how do you catch a cloud and pin it down
?”

Letting emotions run unchecked is like letting emotions rule one's life. Letting unchecked emotions rule one's life is never a good choice.  Because then life becomes unpredictable and uncertain.  Somehow, it is preferable to be in control so one can predict to a certain degree the outcome of an encounter with the other, whether this be a personal, social or a work encounter.

But here, a growing number of studies on emotional intelligence show that it can be developed and sustained throughout life.  There is a catch however…one must be actively engaged and be continually consistent in its day-to-day application for it to be effective.  No matter, the reward assures success and a better quality of life if one uses emotional intelligence to advantage.

Here is how…

The first and fundamental step is to be committed
. Unless one intends to change for the better, any effort to bring a change in self will be useless.  The will to change for the better should be intense and should come from within the self.  Unless and until the change comes from within, any effort to bring about change will just be like going through the motions for the sake of motion.

One way to do this is to picture one's self in the future, how one sees self in the future, the visions, and the dreams.  Compare the future to the present and work with dedication and commitment from the present.  Tap the inner desire for change and stay with it.  Let the incremental progress be the inspiration for the next encounter.

The next step is to get practical
. Developing emotional intelligence can be a tall order particularly for one new to it and who is used to instant and un-thought of reactions.  Experiencing failure at the moment when one has committed to developing emotional intelligence can be disappointing and lead downhill from the commitment.

To overcome this, start small and take one baby step at a time.  Draw from past

Experiences and identify those instances when one is emotionally reactive.  To cite an example, people today are never without mobile phone in the hand.  Mobile phones and other modern gadgets have robbed people today of interpersonal communication.  As an intentional learning plan, one could intend when the opportunity comes to set aside the mobile phone and talk sincerely with the other, and reap the benefit of a person to person communication.

Taking this one small step could lead to another just like this.  When the same opportunity occurs again and one responds in the same positive way, a positive habit is in the making to replace the old negative habit.

Admittedly, a small success but it is still a success. One baby step at a time.

Another step is to make a mental rehearsal
.  Musicians do mental rehearsals.  They mentally think of the printed score and mentally listen to the score or a musical piece being studied to imprint it in the mind in order to play it without flaws and with confidence.

The same can be true in one's practical day-to-day reality.  Mentally rehearse an emotionally charged interaction in your mind and mentally activate your intended response.  This will have the benefit of preparing one when the opportunity actually occurs.