A Bride Worth Billions (83 page)

2 - Power of a First Impression

The power of a first impression is so strong it can make or ruin your life. People who have sought to disregard it, discover to their disappointment and shame, how a careless remark, a poor joke, or even the wrong choice of words, wardrobe and hair style can create something that will uncomfortably stick to people’s minds like tough Bubble-gum at the bottom of your shoe.

It is therefore important to realize the following:

First Impressions Matter

That is the uncomfortable truth.

The first impression is often the foundation of a relationship – business, romantic, social or employment. Nothing of the sort can get established no matter how much you try to belittle or disregard your first impression. The first seeds of trust are in fact planted along with the first good impression. By the same token, a negative first impression totally demolishes any second chances and reduces chances of knowing more about a person. That would explain why it would take 300 resume reviews, 120 initial interviews, 70 hiring manager interviews and a shortlist of 10 for the final interview before someone gets a job offer. More often than not, first impressions played a part in making that happen.

It’s the same thing when choosing a date, an apartment, a car etc. And with more and more information about ourselves and others pouring out on social media, work databases, bank records and the Internet, that first impression is going to matter even more.

Significant Decisions are often based on First Impressions

That is the uncomfortable truth.

While many would tell you that careful study and meticulous analysis have gone into a ground-breaking decision, the fact of the matter remains that many an executive decision has been made on the basis of a first impression. If ever analysis or studies were made, these were done to give credibility to a choice or to justify intuition and “gut feel” (words that actually point to first impressions). Case in point is the hiring manager who gingerly wipes his hand after shaking your sweaty palms and noting your uncomfortable suit. Observe how he just asks a few perfunctory questions before regretfully informing you that you are not be a fit for the job being considered or, more politely, closes the interview with a “we’ll call you back” note of finality. Did he just call you to an interview to tell you that? The truth is he didn’t. But all it took was 17 seconds for him to get his first impression from a sweaty handshake and a rumpled suit. Afterwards, it didn’t take long for him to make a conclusion from that first impression.

A second case in point, the girl who jumps into bed with a stranger after a few drinks and a pick up line. Was it because of the drinks? Perhaps, But most often than not, the deciding factor was definitely the first impression.

Someone once said, “Spur-of-the-moment decisions are rarely made because of a reckless attitude or the devil’s possession. They are however most likely provoked by first impressions.”

A Good First Impression is the First Step to Success

Just like
The Voice, American Idol
or any of those talent-search shows on TV, many a singer who made a good impression got their first on a successful music career. Off course, many more lost that first impression to others until you finally have a group with established reputation and the contest turns into a battle of having the most fans or followers.

It is the same thing in searching for a job or a date. Make a good first impression and you are on to the next level. Make another good one, and the next level opens and so on until you finally have the job or a marriage proposal.

So while it is true that first impressions form fast and are difficult to weed out, they can play to your advantage if you are able to control them.

3 – Build -up Your Good First Impression

So how do you create those first impressions that can bring you success and transform your life?

Here are two truths to remember if you want people’s first impressions about you to be good:

Leave Nothing to Chance

Here’s an incredible truth: how others will see you later in life depends solely on how they see you first time.

Therefore if you want to be seen as successful, leave a long lasting, strong first impression. Don’t be too casual and careless with your interactions. Leave nothing to chance. For all you know, you may just impress someone well enough to set you on the road to success.

A case in point, is the story behind a Thai commercial making the rounds on YouTube and other internet blogs. It tells of a food stall owner who encounters a young boy caught stealing some medicines. Out of pity, the stall owner lets the boy go and gives him a bowl of soup for the boy’s mother. Years later, the stall owner is still giving out free soup to beggars. Then he falls ill and his daughter is suddenly faced with a problem of settling his huge bill. However, she finds out that the bill has been paid in full. Scribbled at the bottom of the food stall owner’s bill is the note, “paid in full with a bowl of soup twelve years ago.” A chance encounter and a bowl of soup left a boy with an impression that he still remembered years later, when he became a doctor. As for the food stall owner, the consistency of his actions give truth to the saying, “always scatter good impressions for the wind to whisper around the world. Who knows but soon they will come blowing back to you with gifts of honor.”

Be Consistent

Someone said you can’t be a party pooper one day and a party animal the next or whenever the mood suits you.

A consistent string of good first impressions cement a favorable reputation and assures people looking at you that you are someone who can be relied upon. On the other hand, a display of erratic impressions, some good and some bad without a visible trigger or pattern, will convey to others that you are weak in character, without backbone and someone totally untrustworthy. That would transform you but not in a way you that would make people enthusiastic.

You want to be transformed? Keep making a good impression. It can be done.

Let’s talk more about not leaving first impressions to chance.

Prepare

If you want others to ALWAYS get a good impression, prepare.

Prepare what?

1. Prepare a 30-second power statement about who you are, want you want and what you aspire to be. In short prepare a statement about yourself and what your mission or goals in life are. Memorize that statement until you can tell it from the heart and talk about for 15 seconds or 45 minutes. Put this statement on your social media profile and on your blog. Make it part of your virtual identify.
   
2. Prepare and practice how to act in accordance to your 30-second statement. For instance if you say you are a kind persons who seeks for chances to help others, learn how to do just that in any and every situation. Then keep practicing until it becomes your nature.
   
3. Prepare and practice what to say in any situation where you are upset, emotional or caught in surprise. Prepare a genuinely-sounding apology for any situation and practice saying it until it becomes perfectly sincere. Doing this will keep you from giving a less than favorable impression. Also the fact that you prepare allows you to be in a state of control and readiness.
   

Being prepared puts you in a state of mind that keeps you conscious of what to do and say in any situation. That makes it easy and possible for you to take control of any situation and make a great and not just good first impression.

Be on Guard

What often derails anyone from ALWAYS making a good first impression is being caught unprepared or in a candid moment. You will never be able to anticipate and prepare for every possible scenario or situation but you can always be on guard and ready for anything.

Here is what you can do for all those unguarded moments:

1. Never React. Do not allow a situation to take control of what and how you should act. This means practice pausing before you blurt out something out of distress or emotion. This also means practicing to take three deep breaths to suppress panic. A few seconds of pausing can go a long way.
   
2. Always be polite and courteous. There is no justifiable reason to be rude and being polite keeps you from giving in to emotional outburst that can be embarrassing, out of character and unbecoming.
   
3. Learn to adapt quickly to the situation.  No this doesn’t mean doing as the Romans do when in Rome but adjusting the way you talk and act so that the Romans will be impressed. For instance, when someone accidentally spills water on your dress, you don’t blurt out in anger and slap the waiter as everyone would expect you to do. Instead, you do something that would take the embarrassment out of the situation and turn it into a moment of respect and admiration.
   

By being prepared and on guard, the chances of making the wrong impression

Now that you know how to make sure you leave great first impressions, let’s talk about how to make sure you ALWAYS do so. Remember that is the key to transformation and while it is true that there will always be a possibility where you will do something wrong, you can always be sure that the impression you leave will still be a good one.

Here’s how:

Always stay in Character

That is right.

Staying in character means acting out the part even when the play is over. In real life, staying in character means being what you are all the time and in every situation.

Here are three tips to always to do:

1. Be person you claim and want to be. The idea of giving in to your human nature is foolish. People can change and shape their behavior and attitude until it becomes their character. You just have to be what you say you are at home, on the street and everywhere else not just at work.
   
2. Always be conscious and true to your character. If you have established yourself as a kind and courteous person, don’t become rude all of a sudden. That will throw first impressions apart and make it difficult to re-establish who you are.
   
3. Don’t be moody. That will do no good to anyone who basis all future interactions and relationships on first impressions.
   

Consistency becomes easy when change is minimal. The less your behavior and character changes, the more you can expect people’s first impressions to be good and favorable.

Always be on Guard

Being on guard means the following:

1. Be aware of the things happening around you. Stop, look around and listen to the background chatter. That way, you can anticipate what can happen and be prepared to act accordingly.
   
2. Always know what you are getting into. Whether it’s a party, a job interview or a date, get to know as much as you can about why t’s happening, who is going to be there, what activities, questions, events are taking place. You don’t have to hire a private investigator or a detective to case the place but don’t walk through the door with no idea about what is going to happen. Read up, Google and do your homework.
   
3. Have something ready for surprises.
   

Finally, as your life starts being transformed by a constant string of good impressions, remember the following to ensure that these impressions remain long lasting:

Don’t let it go to your head

Many a good motivational speaker, life coach or personality consultant will agree with the saying, “Failure begins when success starts getting into your head.” That is what happens when you let praise, admiration, adulation and the like make you giddy and arrogant. When that happens and you start doing things with the expectation of praise, you stop being consistent. Your preparation becomes sloppy. You get blindsided by the flash of the camera and spotlights and you miss being aware. That puts you in danger of being caught unprepared. That and the drop in consistency will eventually lead to the start of bad first impressions.

Don’t get caught like a deer in the headlights. Keep your head below the clouds and your feet grounded firmly.

Stay true to yourself

Staying true to yourself is being consistent with your character, behavior and attitude. Make these constant and let them become naturally part of you so that you are what you are at all times and in all places. This also means never straying from that identity on occasion even just for once. Understand that once in a lifetime actually means it is bound to end your career, reputation or even your life. Don’t throw away a lifetime of careful planning and consistent reputation with an unguarded moment of being someone else.

Respect

This is the incredible truth: people respond to respect with respect. Therefore any show of respect leaves a good impression all the time. If you want to kick start good first impressions, start respecting people. That means more than just saying “please”, “excuse me” or “thank you.” It means respecting someone’s space, waiting for your turn, being patient, keeping your cool, and lending a helping hand even if all you can do is tap someone on the arm or give a hug.

Know Your Limits

Knowing your limits means knowing where your emotional limits are. It also means being cognizant of what triggers outbursts of anger, disgust, anxiety or panic. More importantly it means knowing when to stop, pause or walk away.

Why?

Because that will allow you to do three things that will keep first impressions great:

1. Knowing your limits can help you plan in advance a graceful exit strategy that does not offend someone and raises the level of respect from anyone.
   
2. Knowing your limits helps you avoid situations that can put you on a spot and kill your reputation with a bad impressions. Better to politely decline rather than go and be confronted with something you will regret later.
   
3. Knowing your limits can help you prepare adequately and seek help. There will always be situations where you won’t be able to say “no” to but that doesn’t mean you can’t prepare for it or position someone to assist you in making a good first impression. In fact, by doing so, you will further impress others for the first time and that can mean a great difference in your life.
   

These final tips need only to be practiced until they become second nature. Once they become as natural as reflexes, you can expect first impressions to be always in your favor.

That is when the transformation to a better you begins.