A Blessing for Miriam (17 page)

Miriam caught a glimpse of Wayne through the kitchen window as he left through the front door on his way to the barn to get his horse. She should tell Aunt Fannie so they would know she had a ride.

Miriam moved away from the window and glanced around the kitchen. Aunt Fannie was seated near the living-room doorway. Miriam made her way over to her and whispered, “Wayne will be taking me home.”

Aunt Fannie raised her eyebrows.

Miriam continued. “He also wants to take me home after the hymn singing tonight.”

“Then he’s still…” Aunt Fannie left the rest of the thought unspoken.

Miriam nodded, and hope rose in her heart. She tentatively smiled. She stepped into the washroom. If Aunt Fannie had arrived at the same conclusion she had, then she couldn’t be wrong. Wayne wants to continue their relationship! They would work this out.

“Hi, Miriam.” Esther’s cheery voice made her jump. “I haven’t had a chance to welcome you home yet.”

Miriam gathered her courage and put on a smile. “Thank you. I’m glad to be back.”

“Did you have a chance to see Ivan and Laura while you were back in Holmes County?”

Esther’s cheer and smile hadn’t dimmed. “I saw Ivan at the church services,” Miriam replied. “Laura wasn’t well that Sunday so she stayed home.”

“Oh, I hadn’t heard that. Well, anyway, I just wanted to say hello. I’ll see you again soon.” And with that, Esther wrapped her shawl tightly around her shoulders and left.

Miriam drew in a deep breath. She had handled that well, hadn’t she? She hoped so. She stepped outside the washroom door in time to see Esther give Wayne’s buggy a quick wave as she climbed into the back of the Swartz family’s surrey. Esther’s Uncle Troy was in the front with their smaller children. His
frau
, Lavina, must have stayed home with Mabel today. Why hadn’t Esther stayed home to care for her grandmother? The bitter thought raced through
Miriam’s consciousness, and she quickly dismissed it as unworthy of her. She approached Wayne’s buggy. After he pushed open the door for her, she climbed in and settled on the buggy seat. Wayne drove out of the lane and onto the main thoroughfare. Miriam stole a quick glance at his face. He didn’t appear the least bit guilty, which was a small comfort at least.

Wayne smiled. “It was sure
gut
to look over and see you in the service today. It seems like years since you left. Are you glad to be back?”

“I’m very glad to be back.” Miriam kept her voice steady.

Wayne appeared pleased. “So tell me more about the trip. We only had a brief moment in the barn the other day, and I’d love to hear all about it.”

Miriam opened her mouth, but the words stuck in her throat. How could she chatter about innocent things when the weight of uncertainty hung over her head? And why hadn’t Wayne noticed her discomfort?

Silence enveloped them as Wayne drove down the dirt road. She still hadn’t said anything, and Wayne was staring straight ahead. She would say nothing until Wayne spoke again.

“The bus ride must have been rough.” Wayne glanced at her. “I never liked bus trips myself.”

Miriam couldn’t think of a response. Why was he so clueless about the situation?

Finally, keeping his eyes on the road, Wayne asked, “There’s something wrong, isn’t there?”

She felt awful to force the issue. This was so awkward! But at least it was a beginning. She plunged ahead. “Aunt Fannie told me about seeing Esther and you together. So did Sarah Mullet.”

His back stiffened. “And what did they say?”

“I’m not going to go into details.” Her voice was way too sharp, but she couldn’t help it.

“You’re not a jealous woman, are you?” He tried to smile but failed.

Miriam sighed. “Did you give me cause to be? Did you spend time with Esther behind the buggies after the hymn singing last week? Were you in each other’s arms?”

“Oh, that.” Wayne laughed without mirth. “Why are you letting the community’s busybodies scare you? You know that tongues wag at the slightest provocation.”

“In Oklahoma? I doubt that. Maybe in Possum Valley.”

“What has Oklahoma got to do with it?” Surprise was written on his face.

“Tongues don’t wag around here, Wayne, like they do back home. This community’s different from Possum Valley.”

“I see.” Wayne didn’t look at her. “Esther and I were just talking, that’s all. She’s weighed down with the care of her grandmother, and she needs a friend. Her burden gets heavy at times.”

A sharp retort rose inside her, but Miriam squashed it. She asked the question that burned on her heart instead. “So you didn’t kiss her?”

“Why would I kiss Esther?” His voice caught a little.

“Because she’s beautiful, and charming…and after you.” The words burst out.

Wayne didn’t answer as he slowed down for the Byler’s driveway and turned in. He stopped beside the barn, but didn’t move or climb down.

Miriam’s voice choked on the words. “Well, did you? Did you kiss Esther?”

Wayne held the reins tightly. “Okay. Maybe I did. But it wasn’t planned. It was more she kissed me. We have a past together, you know.”

A sob strangled Miriam for a second. “How could you, Wayne? It doesn’t sound very ‘past’ to me. Why else would you kiss Esther where people could see you?”

Wayne had a pained look on his face. “Doesn’t that show you I didn’t plan to…well, kiss her? It was an accident, and I’d forgotten all about it already. Esther and I used to pay each other some attention while she lived here, but it never worked out. Esther understands that—both back then and now. She’s not like you.”

Miriam said nothing, her mind reeling at the image of Esther and Wayne kissing both now and then.

“Look…” Wayne glanced behind the buggy. “Your uncle and aunt will be home soon, and we can’t sit out here as if something is wrong.”

“Something
is
wrong,” Miriam choked. “Aunt Fannie already knows. Uncle William probably too by now.”

“You told her?” Wayne’s glance accused her. “Before you asked me for the full story?”

“Wayne, she knew something was wrong already. People aren’t blind. Remember, she saw you and Esther together. And what full story is there besides the one about kissing another woman when you’re promised to someone else?” Miriam held back the tears as Uncle William’s buggy drove past theirs and stopped closer to the barn.

Aunt Fannie climbed down with baby Jonathon in her arms and hurried toward the house without a backward glance. Uncle William didn’t look their way either. He unhitched Sally and led her into the barn.

“I’m sorry, Miriam,” Wayne whispered. “I’m really sorry. I shouldn’t even have talked with Esther while you were gone, but I gave in. One thing led to another, and we kissed like we did a long time ago. But that was it. It’ll never happen again. I promise, Miriam. I really do. Will you please forgive me? Can we go on like we were before? Surely you can see that I’m sorry. Why else would I be here with you?”

“My money maybe?” The words slipped out.

Wayne forced a laugh. “Now that’s a funny one. You know your
money means nothing to me. My family isn’t exactly poor. Miriam, your character far exceeds Esther’s charm any day. That’s the real reason I love you.”

“You should have remembered that before you kissed Esther.”

“Okay, I’m stupid. I’ll give you that. But I said I’m sorry.”

“Esther’s not going away. You know that.” Miriam met his gaze. “She was waving to you again today.”

“Don’t worry about her.” Wayne took Miriam’s hand. “Esther will be Esther, but we can patch this up. Things like this happen in life. Don’t you think there will be other Esthers around after we’ve said the marriage vows? We have to be bigger than these temptations, Miriam. I love you, and you love me. Nothing has changed that.”

Slowly her fingers moved in his. Could she believe him? And forgive him? She wanted to. Wasn’t that what love did? And Wayne was here with her, not with Esther. Shouldn’t she count that as a victory?

“Can we?” Wayne’s gaze searched her face. “I really am sorry.”

He looked sorry, Miriam could see that. And she so desperately wanted to feel his arms around her.

“I guess,” she whispered.

Wayne wrapped her in a tight hug. “It’ll be okay,” he said. “Esther is in my past. I promise.”

Miriam said nothing but nestled tightly against him

Chapter Eighteen

I
van glared at the pile of dirty dishes. Laura was obviously not feeling well again, but a man ought to come home to a clean house—to say nothing of a prepared supper. But not a dish of food was steaming on the kitchen stove. He could never remember in all the years of his youth when his
mamm
had failed to have supper on the table, and she’d borne a dozen children.

“Laura!” he called out. His voice echoed through the house.

“Ivan!”

Her voice came from the bedroom. He headed that way and pushed open the door.

“Ivan, I’m so weak. I think you’d better take me to the emergency room.” She struggled to sit.

“The emergency room?” Ivan made no attempt to hide the horror in his voice. “But the clinic in Millersburg was open all day. You could have gone there.”

Her face fell. “And how was I to harness Beauty to the buggy in my condition? I could barely get about the house today.”

“We’re not going to the emergency room.” His voice was firm. “I can’t afford it. And you could have called me at work from the phone shack. I would have come home and taken you to the clinic.”

“How was I to walk to the phone booth?” The tone of her voice revealed her attitude. “I guess you don’t care if I die in bed tonight.”

He hesitated. “You don’t look that sickly. I’ll fix you something to eat. You’ll feel better then.”

“I haven’t had anything since last night. I don’t think I can get and keep anything down.”

Ivan tried to feel sympathetic. “Come sit at the kitchen table, and I’ll fix something. Perhaps you can keep me from burning the house down.”

A trace of a smile played on her lips.

Ivan took Laura’s arm.
Yah
, she was weak. He could see and feel it as she leaned on him. Regardless, he wasn’t going to the emergency room. He’d go for the midwife first. The nerve of the woman—to entertain such fancy
Englisha
thoughts. As if they could afford such luxuries.

Laura groaned. “Maybe some cottage cheese and red beets. That’s what would sit well on my stomach.”

“I’ll get some from the basement.” He helped her to a kitchen chair.

Laura’s voice stopped him halfway to the basement door. “There aren’t any red beets down there, and all the cottage cheese is gone since last night.”

He stopped midstride as visions of his
mamm
’s well-laden basement shelves formed in his mind. Red beets were a staple of any Amish home. How could the woman not have any? Hadn’t she canned last summer?

“I didn’t bring any along from
Mamm
’s,” Laura said, as if she’d read his thoughts. “And store-bought ones aren’t the same. Haven’t you noticed I’ve been making do without?”

A retort died in his mouth. What was the use? This conversation would go in circles all night. Laura would no doubt want credit for the money she’d saved him by not buying store-bought red beets by the time it ended. She knew of his obsession with expenses, but she only played that card at her convenience. The emergency room! The nerve of the woman.

Laura looked up at him. “You can run over to my parents’ place. They’ll have both items, and
Mamm
will understand. She’s borne many children herself.”

“At this hour of the evening?”

“You don’t want to take me to the emergency room,” she pouted.

“Not when red beets and cottage cheese take care of the problem,” Ivan agreed. “I’ll be right back.”

“Hurry,” she said, her voice following him out the door.

Billy’s whinny greeted Ivan inside the barn, but he went to Beauty’s stall instead. After he’d wed Laura, he’d bought her this spirited buggy horse. She bobbed her head in protest when Ivan led her out of the stall. “I don’t want to go out on the road again,” he muttered. “But I have to, so you might as well get some exercise too. And I’m starved. At least you’ve had oats tonight.”