A Baby of Convenience (10 page)

Chapter10

Elena turned the key in the latch and pushed the door open. The space was tiny, but it had worked well for her in the last year. She rented it out for a reasonable fee and used it to exercise her artistic frustration. That was what her art always felt like lately – frustration. She had no ongoing jobs. There were a bunch of supplies pushed toward one corner of the room, and a large oddly shaped form that had been draped over with an old shirt.

Elena had started work on a statue for a particularly fussy client, and mid-way through, that client had called in and canceled the order, leaving Elena in the lurch. She had wanted to kick herself for not insisting on an advance before she had begun work, but the client, a Mrs. Ludington, had convinced her that her word was good. That had been almost seven months ago, and the memory still rankled. Elena walked over to the half-finished statue and pulled off the white sheet.

The statue was a beautiful mold of a young girl reading a book. Unlike some of her other pieces, this one was near perfect, such as it was, in its half-complete state. Elena got the girl’s features perfectly, she almost looked real. Even the pages of her book were carved so intricately that they had the feel of authenticity.

Elena sat down on a crate that was pushed to the corner, and stared at her statue. It was a good one and it would have been great had it not been for the unreliable Mrs. Ludington. She had made so many stupid mistakes, mostly because she was so scared to lose a client, that she gave in to whatever they asked for. Elena sighed. In seconds, her life had changed completely. She had just come from the doctor's office.

He had confirmed her pregnancy. She recalled the look on Neal’s face – half relieved and half scared. She understood what he was feeling, his goal to keep the family business was a little more attainable at this point, but she couldn’t help feeling alone in the matter.

Neal would save his business, raise his child, and get on with his life. Elena was not so sure what she had planned for her own life. It suddenly struck her that when this was all over, she would have financial independence, something she had craved since she was a teenager, but what was most startling was the fact that the thought gave her no satisfaction whatsoever.

She felt hollow inside, the money was necessary to survive, but it did not make a happy person. Elena started to wonder if she had wanted the wrong things her whole life, but her thoughts couldn’t focus, they darted around, in search of clarity and direction, but her mind was preoccupied with images of babies and swollen limbs and morning sickness.

She tried to ignore the soft little voice in the back of her mind that told her there was nothing to look forward to at the end of all this, because she would not get to keep the baby.

Elena rested her tired head on her palms. Now that she was well and truly
in
it, she questioned every single reasoning process that had led her to accept Neal. She enjoyed the last few weeks, there was no denying that. She found herself intoxicated by Neal, charmed by his easy charisma and his slow smile. She developed feelings that she should have stamped out the moment they flitted to her consciousness, but she realized that no amount of money and security could remove these memories from her life.

She could travel everywhere, she could have a hundred different lovers and create a thousand different sculptures, but she would always know that she had slept with a man for money. She would always know that she had given birth to a child. She would always know that she had given that child up to be used as a piece in the games of men.

Elena understood Neal’s reasoning, but her mind had suddenly awoken to the fact that there was a child she was bringing into the world soon, and no matter which way she looked at it, she could not escape the fact that the decisions she and Neal made would directly affect that little person, for better or for worse.

Neal had prepared himself for this very reaction. The board appeared frantic in disbelief and barely controlled outrage. None more so than Cliff. He had puffed himself up in anger, and stared daggers at Neal, as though he could force the truth from him solely through intimidation. Neal’s nerves flitted around in his stomach, but his determination was unbending. He had come too far to turn back now.

“I don’t know what to tell you all,” Neal said, making a show of deliberate calm. “She came to me yesterday and told me the news, and now I’m telling the board.”

“You’re bluffing, boy,” Cliff growled at him from across the room.

“I’m not,” Neal said confidently, “she’s pregnant with George’s baby, and I believe her.”

“Of course you would believe her,” Cliff said darkly, “it’s convenient to believe her, isn’t it?”

Neal rolled his eyes, “I don’t know what you mean.”

“I know this one here,” he jerked his face in the direction of Harry, “told you about the codicil. You knew that the only way to keep control of the company was to manufacture a child you could claim was George’s.”

“You’re saying
I
had something to do with this pregnancy?” Neal said, feigning incredulity. 

“I think you have everything to do with this pregnancy.”

“That's quite an accusation. You’re getting paranoid in your old age, Cliff,” Neal said lightly, pouring himself a glass of water, as though he was thoroughly unconcerned by this whole business.

“I don’t know why you’re fighting this so hard,” Cliff said. “You haven’t the faintest idea how to manage this business.”

“Exactly,” Neal said triumphantly. “I don’t have any idea how to run this business, and I will get a monthly stipend based on my shares, whether I have control of the company or not. So why on earth would I choose to put myself in a situation that would require me to get overly involved in something I had no interest to begin with? It makes absolutely no sense.”

“Or is that just what you want us to believe?” Clifford glared at him.

Neal shook his head as though frustrated with Cliff’s line of questioning.

“Believe what you want,” he said casually. “It doesn’t change the fact that Elena Parker is pregnant with my brother’s baby.”

“I think,” Jennifer Perez spoke up deliberately, “a paternity test is in order.”

Neal raised his eyebrows, as though the thought had never crossed his mind. He looked around the room, making sure everyone caught his expression. He seemed to consider it for a long moment.

“That’s… reasonable I suppose,” he accepted. “I don’t think Elena will mind.”

“Excellent,” Jennifer said with a tight smile.

Cliff was watching Neal carefully. He seemed to take in everything, his eyes narrowing as Neal rose from his seat.

“Well, I’d best be off,” Neal said, walking out of the board room, with Harry hot on his heels.

Once they were at a safe distance from the rest of the board members, Harry turned to Neal with worry in his eyes.

“What are you doing, Neal?” he asked.

Neal played dumb. “Do you agree with what Cliff is thinking? That I have something to do with this?”

Harry looked deeply uncomfortable.

“I’ve known you a long time, Neal,” he said, wringing his hands together, “and I hope you know you can trust me.”

“I do trust you, Harry,” Neal insisted, “but I have nothing to tell you in this instance.”

Harry looked doubtful, and the worry never left his face.

“The test has to state definitively that George Hargrove is the father of her child.”

“It will,” Neal said easily, “because he is the father.”

Harry did not seem consoled. He just nodded once, his brow still furrowed, and walked away, leaving Neal standing there alone, wondering yet again, if he was doing the right thing.

Chapter11

“Elena?” Neal’s voice was tainted with worry.

Elena couldn’t answer back. She was too busy heaving her guts out. She held onto the toilet and prayed that it would stop soon. Her brow was drenched with sweat and she felt pain shoot through her breasts.

“Can I come in?”

“No!” she managed to scream before she was forced to duck her head down for another bout of heaving.

When she finally emerged from the bathroom, it was to find Neal sitting by the door, his hands resting on his upright knees. His hazel eyes were pale and filled with concern. Elena immediately felt better. She joined him on the floor, before he could get up. She rested her head against his shoulder and felt his hand stroking her hair.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

“For what?”

“For putting you through this.”

“You don’t have to apologize for every new development this pregnancy puts me through, Neal. I agreed, remember?”

“Still,” Neal said, “I asked a lot of you.”

“It’s a fair trade,” Elena said, wondering if she meant that or not.

Neal was thinking along those same lines. He saw the uncertainty on her face. It was becoming easier and easier for him to read her. He found a strange repose in knowing a person that well. He had never really had that with anyone since his mother had died. Not even with George. 

“Neal?”

“Hmm?”

“You’ll look after this baby, right?” Elena asked shakily.

Neal’s eyes snapped up to hers.

“Of course I will,” he said, “it’s my child.”

“But you can’t ever let on that it’s your child, can you?”

Neal nodded slowly. She was right, he would always have to pretend. He would have to live a lie, and make his child live a lie, too.

“No, I can’t,” he agreed.

“It’s going to be hard.”

“Yes, it is.” He frowned.

“I know you’ll be a good father slash uncle,” Elena said, trying to keep her tone light, but struggling with the emotion just beneath the surface. I need to know that this kid will be OK. I need to know that.”

Elena felt the lump of emotion rise up in her throat, until she had to break off mid-sentence. Neal wrapped his arms around her.

“Hey, don’t worry,” he said soothingly. “I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure this child grows up happy and healthy.”

“And kind and honest,” Elena added quickly.

Neal chuckled. “And kind and honest,” he agreed.

“I just want her – or him, to be happy, you know. I guess I want that assurance from you if I’m not around to make sure of it myself.”

“Elena,” Neal said seriously, “if you want to be a part of this child’s life, you can be.”

“That wasn’t part of our deal,” she said.

“Screw our deal,” Neal said vehemently. “I won’t ever be able to claim this child, but you can, and if you do, at least our baby will have one true parent.”

Elena felt a tingle when he said the words “our baby.”  She wanted it to be more than just the words, though. She wanted it to be real. She wasn’t sure if her sudden sentimentality was just her or her hormones. Maybe it was a little bit of both.

“I don’t really know what I want at the moment,” Elena admitted honestly.

“That’s OK,” Neal said kindly, “you have time to figure it out.”

“I have till the baby comes.”

“I think you’ll know by then,” said Neal, placing a kiss on her forehead.

Elena relaxed into his embrace. She missed the intimacy she had shared with him before her pregnancy. Neal missed the same. They lingered together, on the floor outside the bathroom, unwilling to move and break the hold they had on one another. Both had hoped it would get easier as time wore on, but it only seemed to get harder.

After it had been confirmed that Elena was, in fact, pregnant, neither one had made any mention of her leaving Neal’s house. Neal made subtle hints that he would like her to stick around and Elena caught them gratefully. There wasn’t anything significant holding her back from moving into her own apartment once again. It was the simple fact that both Elena and Neal knew that their time together would come to a close soon. They didn’t want to part ways before they absolutely had to. 

                                                                  *   *   *

Elena was aware of Neal’s grim mood. She knew what had brought it on. In three weeks, the ninety-day period would be up and his brother would be declared officially deceased by the board. Neal’s doctored paternity test had been handed over to the board. At the ninety-day mark, George’s assets and stock would pass over to the child that Elena was now carrying.

They had succeeded in their mission and that had been followed by momentary celebration, but after the dust had settled, the bigger picture had come into closer focus. In this case, it was admitting that George was really dead. Neal’s mood was doubly soured by Cliff’s obvious suspicion and his constant passive aggressive behavior. Elena moved to where he sat and nudged him gently.

“Would you like to talk?” she offered.

“Not today,” he said, but then he added as though involuntarily, “I just… I can’t believe he’s really gone.”

“I know.”

“I don’t know how I’m going to do this, Elena.”

“The business,” she asked, “or life without George?”

“Both. I brought home a load of papers from George’s office yesterday. I was up most of the night and I still haven’t been able to make any sense out of them. I’m terrified that I'm going to sink this company.”

Elena stood up and walked behind Neal. She placed her hands on his shoulders and started massaging gently. Neal closed his eyes and relaxed into her arms.

“You’re going to do no such thing,” Elena said firmly, “you’ve just been preoccupied with… other things. You’re going to stay up tonight too, and by tomorrow morning you’re going to understand everything.”

“How is that going to happen?” Neal asked with his eyebrows arched.

“Because,” Elena said brightly, “I’m going to help you.”

“Really,” Neal asked, “you would?”

“I have my morning sickness in the night,” Elena told him, “so I’ll be up anyway.”

Neal smiled. “You’re an angel.”

He leaned in and placed a kiss on her lips. It was the first time they had shared such an intimate moment since Elena had gotten pregnant. She felt herself respond to the kiss, but she forced herself to keep from initiating further intimacy. She pulled apart before either one of them was ready. She turned away from Neal quickly, so that she could prevent him from seeing the blush creeping up her cheeks.

“Are you hungry?” Neal asked, with forced calm.

Elena nodded with her back to him.

“If you like, I can make us sandwiches. How about that?”

Elena nodded again, and Neal set to work on the sandwiches. While he took the mayonnaise and the mustard out, Elena heard her cell phone ring. She rushed to retrieve the phone. It was Emily.

“Hello, Elena,” she said formally. “How are you?”

Elena smiled inwardly. “I’m alright, Emily, and you?”

“Good,” she replied shortly. “I called to see if you would be there for my wedding. I sent the invitation a week ago, but I never received the RSVP.”

“Oh, I haven’t… checked my mail in a while,” Elena said lamely.

She had not told her family anything and she intended to keep it that way. They would be appalled; she could just imagine their shock and their disapproval. It hadn't surprised her that she hadn't heard from them at all until just now, and of course Emily was contacting her not because she wanted anything to do with Elena, but because she was concerned with her own business.

“I’ve been busy,” Elena said offhandedly.

“New clients?”

“Yes,” Elena replied, deciding that was the best way to explain her sudden financial stability.

“That’s good,” Emily replied.

“I didn’t realize you were planning on getting married so soon.”

“You would have known all about it if you’d stuck around the rest of the weekend,” said Emily, her tone cold.

“I’m sorry, Emily,” Elena said, trying to make amends. “I should have stayed a little while, at least to meet your fiancé.”

There was a moment of silence and then Emily spoke, her voice high and passionate.

“I don’t understand why you hate us so much.”

Elena stared at the receiver for a moment.

“I
don’t
hate you… or Mom and Dad,” Elena insisted in shock.

“Really?” Emily said. “Because it seems like being with us is extremely difficult for you.”

“I… we’re just very different and-"

“Mom and Dad are just trying to help you. They’re trying to get you started in a career that will give you a comfortable life. I don’t think that makes them monsters.”

“It doesn’t,” Elena said. “I never said they were monsters.”

“You act as though you think you’re so much better than us,” Emily accused, her voice shaking slightly. “It hurts.”

“I…" Elena trailed off, and she was shocked.

She had never before had a conversation with her sister that was quite so candid, and she had certainly never expected Emily to have initiated one. Elena sighed. Somehow, with everything she had been through lately, her perspective had shifted more than she had realized.

She was going to have a baby and that made her aware of how much she wanted that child to be happy. Her parents wanted the same thing for her; they just went about it in the wrong way. They couldn’t understand her and that made their approach to helping her clumsy and insulting, but Elena could suddenly see that their intentions were good, though misguided.

As for her sister, Elena knew that the distance between them had been partly of her own making. She had always been slightly jealous of Emily’s connection to them. A connection that had cemented her firmly on the periphery, unable to enjoy or understand their thinking or their way of life.

She was hurt by many things, but she suddenly understood that expecting people to act the way you thought they should was never going to get you anything but disappointment. Her parents expected her to be like Emily, but that would never happen.

She in turn, expected her parents to support her unconditionally, whether or not they agreed with her, and she knew that would never happen either. They would always try to mold her into the person they thought she should be. The difference now was that Elena knew better.

“Emily,” she said soothingly, “I don’t know what to say. I’m sorry. I guess the truth is that we just… misunderstand each other. I’m not like you, or Mom and Dad, and I guess I always feel left out, and sometimes I just feel like you three are ganging up on me, but I know that you are just trying to help. I’m sorry if I’ve made you feel like I hate you. I truly, truly don’t.”

Emily seemed to take all of that in for a moment.

“I… we have been overly critical,” Emily said finally, “of your choices.”

Elena smiled. “Thank you for saying that.”