A Baby for Christmas (Love at The Crossroads) (9 page)

Lord, is marriage really worth all this hurt?
Seeing this ugly side of it, Solae was beginning to see the blessedness of singlehood.

Marriage is honorable in ALL
!
God’s voice seemed to come swiftly out of nowhere, stating Hebrews 13:4.

Although Solae trembled, she asked for understanding.
But God, her marriage bed was defiled
.

Whoremongers and adulterers, I will judge,
God’s voice began to fade.

Desiree shrugged and exhaled. “As long as the prayers of the saints continue,” then she shook her head, “I can’t look at him without imagining…I can’t talk to him right now without thinking about… I just can’t do it. It hurts too bad.”

“It’s going to be okay. God knows and He cares.” Solae wrapped an arm over Desiree’s shoulder and steered her out the church to the parking lot, all the while praying,
Lord, please don’t let Michael make a scene; let him respect her time of healing in Jesus’ name. Amen.

Solae waited as Desiree got in her car and started the ignition. She still looked frazzled. “Call me when you get home and let me know you made it.”

“I will. Love you, my friend.” Desiree slowly backed out of her parking space, then drove away.

“Love you, too,” Solae mouthed as a tear fell from her eye. Crossing the aisle, she waved at a few church members, then got into her car. She locked her doors and put her key into the ignition, but didn’t start the motor as the tears flowed. She sat and cried for her friend, wondering if Desiree and Michael would ever have a happy ending. Then she recalled a portion of Psalm 37:25: “
I have been young, and now am old; yet have I not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging for bread.”

“Lord, for Desiree’s sake and mine, I’m holding you to that.” The confidence Solae had in God made her smile. Starting her car, she backed up and drove home, seemingly without a care in the world.

I know you are going to be at Lindsay’s birthday party. Can we talk
?
Hershel texted Solae a few days later after digesting and accepting the news Royce and Trent had delivered. Since then, Hershel had done some serious soul searching.

He acknowledged that a well-respected fire captain who was fearless when it came to rescuing others in a life-or-death situation couldn’t get out of the scorching flames of the past to move on to the future.

A woman like Solae had no shortage of male admirers with her wit and beauty, so she didn’t have to give him the time of day since he let her walk away months ago.

Her swift response jumpstarted his heart to a pounding beat
.
Sure.

Hershel would have preferred a more personal message, but that one word was encouragement enough as he counted down to his new niece’s birthday party.

Between sleep, work, and his boys, Hershel’s time was short as he entered Lordo’s Diamonds in Ladue. Jim, the owner, welcomed him back with much fanfare.

“Captain Kavanaugh, good to see you again. Wanting to add another piece to your collection?”

“Yes.” Hershel exhaled. “The ring.” He had eyed the white-gold engagement ring since December and every time he thought he was ready, another piece of jewelry strayed him from his purpose—but not this time.

He blamed himself for not proposing sooner. God knew he loved her and he knew Solae loved him and the boys. It was his hang ups that got in the way.

Jim unlocked the glass case that held the uniquely twisted-shaped ring that reminded him of a basketball player safeguarding the ball as if he was cradling it with both arms. “This beauty is a fourteen carat, white-gold engagement ring embellished with thirty-six stones...”

Hershel politely listened but already knew the design details. He had seen others more or less expensive, but he did a double take with this piece. “When can I pick it up?”

The owner told him later in the week. Thanking Jim, Hershel headed home to get some rest. Despite his exhaustion, he had trouble sleeping, knowing that Solae could have been his a long time ago.

In the beginning, while Royce and Candace were deciding if they were going to go out, he had already taken Solae on three incredible dates where it seemed that they had always been together.

At home, before his head hit the pillow, Hershel ordered flowers to be delivered to her job and prayed, “Lord, I never wanted to hurt her. Please let Solae forgive me in Jesus’ name. Amen.”  Moments later, he rolled over and heard himself snore as he drifted off. He didn’t wake again until the sun shined the next morning.

Not wanting to chance oversleeping on the day of the party, Hershel had taken off work that day and the day before. Well rested, he arrived early to his cousin’s ranch and nervously waited. Almost a year earlier, he had been the one hosting a birthday party for Brandon at the ranch because Terrence had horses and a couple of ponies. Always a big hit with children.

Hershel had invited Brandon’s entire class plus some, which included Lindsay. He smirked, finding out later that Solae tagged along only to act as the kiddie birthday party crasher if Candace overstayed her time as a parent simply dropping off her daughter. Solae had told him Candace had a reputation of staying at the parties as an uninvited chaperone. He smiled as the memories flooded back.

“Excuse me, you can’t park here,” Hershel walked up to the driver of a silver Mazda who was blocking a
“no parking” zone near the entrance.

Solae had whipped her head around and face
d him ready to shoot darts. “I’m waiting for a friend—”

Without getting out the car, it was as if Solae had drained his energy with one look. Their mutual attraction had been both immediate and fierce such that they both bungled their apologies.

“I’m sorry. I’m the host and I shouldn’t be rude to guests.”

“Let’s blame it on the stress of putting together a party,” Solae gave him
an excuse. “And I apologize. I should have parked legally, but my friend is just dropping off her daughter and then we’re leaving.”

Hershel didn’t let that happen, so for the next fifteen minutes he learned all he could about her. Solae’s down-to-earth personality had been so alluring that he forgot that he was supposed to be supervising the children. Thank God his cousins had taken charge.

Solae had forgotten about leaving when Candace had returned with Royce trailing her. Since his brother was enthralled with Candace, Royce thought Hershel was doing him a favor by convincing Solae to stay so he could have more time with Candace. The truth was Hershel didn’t want Solae to go.

Before the night ended, Hershel saw first-hand how much she loved children and the children loved her.

“Thanks for keeping me company today,” Hershel said when the party ended.

“It was fun. I’m glad I stayed. Children are a blessing, even with their running noses, temper tantrums
, and nonstop energy…they’re a blessing.”

That statement right there should have been his clue that Solae was the one who would love him and his boys unconditionally.

“It’s party time,” Royce yelled, snapping him back from memory lane.

When the first wave of children arrived to begin the party, Trent and Royce gave him the thumbs up. His sisters-in-law showed their support in other ways. Candace gave him the evil eye and made it known that he better fix it; Julia sweetly threatened him with no visitation rights to her house for weekly meals until he made it right. Talk about pressure.

With every sound of tires crunching the gravel on the side road, Hershel hoped it was Solae’s car until finally, she had arrived. He exhaled.

Hershel’s swagger down the pathway was carefree while his heart swayed like an unsteady boat set adrift. He smirked, watching Solae look for a parking spot versus the illegal spot she had chosen before. Memories.

Leave it to a woman to make a man have a heart attack
, Hershel thought as he opened her car door. Despite the hot and humid St. Louis July weather, Solae stepped out the car radiant in a sleeveless top that showcased her toned arms. Instead of a short skirt to tease his senses, a tie-dyed skirt flowed from her waist to her ankles.  Her toenails were perfectly painted in a strange shade of green. Her favorite color.

“Hi.” He closed the distance between them until the fresh scent of her perfume tickled his nose. “You look pretty.” He couldn’t help but give her his bold assessment.

“Thank you, and you’re as handsome as ever,” Solae made the statement then reached in the back seat for a box that was bigger than a plastic crate from a discount store.

“I’ll take that.”

After passing it to him, Solae grabbed two smaller gifts in the backseat.

Hershel chuckled to lighten the mood. “Lindsay’s gift couldn’t fit into one box?”

“These are for my boys,” she said in a tone that said he should have known.

And he should have. Solae was big on bringing his sons things. He loved hearing her say “my boys.” They were usually small gifts. “To show Harrison and Brandon that I’ve been thinking about them,” was always her excuse.

Hershel was in no rush to get to the party.  As they strolled up the cobblestone pathway to the house, Hershel observed Solae, wondering what she was thinking. Her slight shiver confirmed that they were still in tune with each other.

“Solae, I was hoping we could talk sooner than—”

“Hi, Aunt Sollie! You made it. Yay!” Lindsay spotted them. That alerted his boys who joined Lindsay in a race to see who could get to Solae first. It was amusing to see her so loved and annoying because he wasn’t in the mood to share.

Stopping in her tracks, Solae squatted and waited to receive their hugs. She smothered them with kisses while they were still huddled together. Hershel felt as if he had faded into the landscaping as they all tried to talk to her at once.

She didn’t seem to mind their ball of energy. “Happy birthday, Lindsay. I hope you like it.” She pointed to the box he was holding.

“I’ll put it on the table for you.”

“Okay, Uncle Hershel.” Lindsay ran back to the party, leaving his sons with Solae.

He smiled with pride at the title since his only other niece’s vocabulary was still developing. It often sounded as if Ariel was calling him Uncle Hermit.

Solae handed a box to Brandon and Harrison. “Listen, boys, you can’t open this now because it’s Lindsay’s party and only she can open gifts. You can when you get home. Okay?”

“Okay!” Brandon grinned, gave her another hug, and ran off, but Harrison didn’t budge.

Uh-oh,
there was no telling what his youngest son would say since Harrison was struggling to adjust to her absence. “Miss Sollie, are you and my Daddy getting a d-voice?”

Hershel cleared his throat and stepped closer. “Ah, son—”

Solae waved him back. “No, sweetie…unhappy married people get divorces. Your daddy and I aren’t married, so we can’t get a divorce. Understand?”

Where Brandon stuttered when he was nervous; Harrison picked his nose and that was the direction his finger was going until Solae grabbed his hand. Whew. Gross.

“But daddy’s unhappy and me too,” Harrison whined.

“Well, give me a hug.” Solae opened her arms again. “I’ll try to make you happy while I’m here, okay?”

Harrison bobbed his head, latched onto her hand, forcing her to stand, then he pulled her toward the party.
You’ve got to be kidding me.
Hershel huffed. He had to compete with his baby boy for Solae’s affection? Any other time, Hershel would have been comforted that his sons loved and trusted Solae. Not now.  Harrison was on his time clock. He and Solae had to talk and he needed privacy to do it.

Trailing behind the two, Hershel watched Solae slip through his fingers as others vied for her attention. She seamlessly dismissed him without a backwards glance. When she wasn’t Brandon’s partner in a game, she was sharing a piece of birthday cake with Harrison. Solae was perfect—she was always perfect for his family. Noting their interactions, Hershel felt his legitimate hesitations seemed so trivial now. He had been a fool.

When Solae begged off more activities, pleading the need for a respite, Hershel was about to make his move, when Candace intercepted him. “Am I being sabotaged?” he mumbled as he retreated. The two women were whispering and giggling as if they hadn’t seen each other in years instead of every day at work, practically sitting side by side.

With all his patience depleted, Hershel sent a text
.
Can we talk now?

He watched as Solae pulled her smartphone from her purse and read it. Glancing over her shoulder, she searched the guests until their eyes connected. He nodded. Solae smiled and turned back and texted him
.
Sure, I have a few minutes.

I’m going to need more than a few minutes to make up for months of blunder,
he thought. Pushing off a wall, Hershel headed her way. His walk was confident, but his heart was unsure how he could make it right between them.

“Captain Hershel Kavanaugh?” Candace teased Solae from her spot in the lawn chair beside her.