34 Seconds (12 page)

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Chris insisted on putting his hands up in the air with every speed bump. “Wheee,” he said and then laughed when I mentioned that the girls did that on bumps or hills on the road. Before we were half way down the road and halfway over all the speed bumps in the road, Chris was thinking of ways to avoid them, like driving in circular driveways to avoid one bump, or taking out mail boxes and riding in yards to avoid them. “That yard animal wouldn’t give the fight these fucking bumps do!” I laughed the whole way down there and then became quiet as we came up to the pool near Will’s house.

Rebecca was standing in the front yard watering some potted flowers when we arrived. She put down her old fashioned metal watering can, and walked over to us. She grabbed my hands in a very loving way and said in a Southern accent, “Nikki! And this here must be Chris. I think I may have said hello the other day, but you looked real busy with those beautiful girls of yours. Come on in, will ya? Will is waiting in the sunroom.”

She led us into the house. We walked through the foyer where Will’s grandfather had displayed his great boat catches over the years, through the living room with a painted white brick fire place and two white couches I couldn’t bear to look at, and into the sunroom built onto the back of the house. Will was standing at a bamboo Tiki bar I had never seen before. But everything else looked about the same in the sunroom too. I felt flushed suddenly. Will walked out from behind the bar with two bottles of beer in his hands. He handed one to Chris and offered his hand for Chris to shake. “Chris, it’s so nice to finally meet you. Thank you so much for coming to our wedding. And for allowing my little Princess, well I guess she’s your Princess now, here to come see me off to the other side of life.” He put his arm around me as he called me a Princess. He didn’t even skip a beat before pulling me into a warm whole body hug. “Nikki, I can’t tell you how much it means to me that you are here, that you were at beach to see me wed my new bride,” he moved over to Rebecca and put his hand on her shoulder. He’d put his whole arm around me but only placed a hand on his wife’s shoulder, and it didn’t go unnoticed to me. I paused a moment and wondered why I had even noticed such a thing. He’d be making love to her later, so I was sure she wasn’t bothered because she just got a hand gesture while I got a hug and an arm wrapped around me. I looked at Rebecca and saw her looking up at Will with a concerned look upon her face. Maybe she did notice the little details I noticed.

Chris broke the icy moment with, “Will, it was a beautiful wedding. Emily and Bella just loved the beach, and I’m honored you would have us, all of us. Thank you.”

“Yeah, man, that beach is one of my most favorite places on Earth. This house is probably a close second.” Will looked at me and winked. Most of our memories together were in those two places, that particular beach, as well as many other beaches, and this house. I hadn’t been in this house for so many years. I looked around and noticed the one thing I had wanted to see: little to no change. The Tiki bar was new, but everything else still looked the way it had so many years ago when Will’s grandfather lived in this house. There were no cobwebs, no dust even, nothing looked old, worn or broken. Time had seemingly stopped in this house. A sense of peace came over me. I sat on a flower covered wicker couch. After all the years, I’d almost expected the wicker to fall apart under my weight, but it looked the same as it did so long ago, and was just as strong. In that area, humidity and salty air were brutal, rusting metals and breaking down fabrics in no time. I wasn’t sure how this place had survived so many years, but Will had done a fantastic job caring for the house and for his grandfather’s belongings.

Will took his bride’s hand and sat on a bar stool. Chris joined me on the wicker sofa. None of us appeared very comfortable, but Will broke the ice.

“So, Chris, has Nikki Jay shown you all the fun things to do in this town over the years?” He looked as if he were stifling a giggle.

“I guess some of the fun. I’ve seen all the beaches, we’ve ridden around town, and I’ve eaten at Molly’s. She is the reason I’ve eaten a…what’s it called, hon, the little fried balls of dough?” He looked at me for support and to answer to the same question he asked each time we visited.

“Hush Puppies. They are called Hush Puppies. Or little fried balls of dough works too.” I laughed. I hated taking punches at my own husband, but it was not only a funny story, but also a great ice breaker to get our awkward conversation going. “The first time I brought him out here to meet the family, we went to Molly’s, you know to show him the finer side of life.” Will and Rebecca laughed. “Dad ordered hush puppies for an appetizer and of course, you know, they come with every meal anyway. About half way through the appetizers, Chris looked up at us and said, ‘What are those little fried balls of dough? They are like magic! I’ve never had anything so tasty!’ My dad and I laughed at him. He really had never had hush puppies before.”

Everyone laughed, and the air in the room lifted as if any tension we’d been carrying was sent off with the breeze.

Even Chris was good with laughter at his expense. He chuckled and said, “Hush puppies. Yes. Little fried balls of dough. I’m good with either, though I guess balls of fried dough sounds too much like donut holes, which I’m also good with.” He took a sip from his beer bottle, nodded to a guitar in the corner of the room and asked Will, “You still playing?” Chris knew Will played guitar. He knew we’d written songs together, and I’d learned to play because of Will.

Will got up and grabbed the old, but familiar, guitar. He winked at me as he wiped it down and ran the tips of his fingers along the bronze strings. I knew that guitar, but if he wasn’t going to point it out, I wasn’t going to either. I smiled at the beautiful red surface, the white ivory pegs and was about to look at Will when he started singing.

Do you think of me in the morning?

In the morning, think of me.

And do you think of me when you’re sleeping?

When you’re sleeping, dream of me.

And do you wonder

How I’m doing?

How are you

Just how are you?

And you’ll tell me

That you’ll call me

But my phone,

It doesn’t ring

Now if I told you that I want you

You would run away from here

But if you told me that you want me

I’d be here to let you in

And if I told you that I love you

You would run for a million years

But if you told me that you love me

I would cry one million tears.

Now do you think of me

When you’re working?

When you’re working,

Think of me

And do you think of me

When you’re walking

When you’re walking

Walk with me

And do you wonder

Where I’m going?

Where are you?

Just where are you?

And I’ll tell you

I won’t wait long

So I sit here

And I dream

Now if I told you that I want you

You would run away from here

But if you told me that you want me

I’d be here to let you in

And if I told you that I love you

You would run for a million years

But if you told me that you love me

I would cry one million tears.

Oh I would cry

Oh I would cry

One

Million

Tears.

“Wow.” Chris, was the first to speak. I was floored, but I had always been floored when Will turned his voice into something magical.

“It’s not a fantastic song, but being here, this time of year maybe, a wedding…my wedding, I don’t know, just a few words I put together a few nights ago while sitting on the beach reflecting on life.” Will looked at Chris the whole time he spoke, leaving me to wonder if those words and his reflection were about his new bride. Or me. I couldn’t even believe I would even think he could write a song just a few nights ago about me. Of course the song was about his new love, his new bride, Rebecca.

Will put his guitar on a stand and flipped on a portable stereo sitting on the Tiki bar. I couldn’t get my head out of the clouds. The song Will had just played for us ran through my mind over and over. His voice, those memories, the mention of our beach. A wave of emotion washed over me. If I let them take over, I knew I’d be the one crying one million tears. I took Chris’ hand and squeezed it. He needed to be my rock, and I needed him to step up and sweep away the raw emotion filling my mind and heart. But he didn’t. He squeezed my hand back, then leaned forward on his elbows and spoke to Will instead of truly knowing my needs for him.

“How long have you been playing, and do you play in a band or out in bars or something?” Chris asked Will.

“Oh, I’ve been playing since I was about 13 years old or so. When my Mom died, I was sent to live with my grandparents. My grandmother was sick and my grandfather was caring for her. He played and had lots of guitars lying around. I tried to teach myself, but he stepped in, played old gospel tunes, and taught them to me. When my grandmother died, he moved into this house. It was their summer house. He asked me to move with him, but I stayed with friends and other family in Richmond until I graduated high school. It was real selfish of me. I couldn’t see myself in this Podunk town with nothing to do. But now I wish I had come earlier. My senior year in high school I played with a few guys, including my best friend, and got better and better. Then I came here to live with my grandfather and played for him a lot.”

“You didn’t come here to live with him!” I said it so quickly, I wasn’t even sure it was me who had spoken.

“Well, I came to help him over the summer and decided to stay. It was just so beautiful. The sights, the sounds, everything was so beautiful.” He said the last few words slowly, and I picked up on the meaning of all of them. I knew he’d stayed in Deltaville so long ago because the two of us were inseparable. He had found me beautiful.

“Right,” Chris said, finally showing me some affection by placing his hand on my knee as he sat back. “Do you play out in bars today? Do you play around here?”

“Not these days. I spent a few years playing. I spent a few years working at the sailing school during the day and the yacht club bar at night, but I don’t know. I guess I haven’t played there in a few years now.” Will looked sad suddenly. I knew how much music meant to him, but I also knew he’d never really tried to make a full career out of it. He loved doing it but never wanted to commit to anything. Until Rebecca anyway. He sure did commit to Rebecca.

“Are you all hungry? We have some cold shrimp, cocktail sauce, and I bet I could round up some other goodies. We tried to stock up here knowing we wouldn’t be going anywhere for a while.” Rebecca didn’t sound at all cheerful about spending her honeymoon in their house. But I guess if they are stocked up on food and the Tiki bar is well stocked, a newlywed couple doesn’t need to steer too far from the bedroom anyway.

“We’re good, Rebecca. Thank you. I think I’m about done with shrimp and crabs. I’ve had enough crab cakes and fried shrimp or steamed shrimp on this trip to last me a lifetime.” I said, smiling at Rebecca. I was sick of seafood. Living in Colorado all those years had turned my tastes away from seafood. “Chris loves salmon, but I don’t even cook seafood these days. I only get it when I’m here in Virginia.”

We exchanged a little small talk for another twenty minutes, but I never felt a reason for Will’s almost frantic voice on the phone when he called and asked to see us before we left. A quiet lull in a short conversation about fishing gave Chris an opportunity I’d been thinking about myself. Chris spoke so loudly I almost jumped. “We probably should be heading back though, Nikki. We have an early flight tomorrow and I guess a long drive to the airport, huh?” Chris stood up in effort to get me moving.

“Yeah, I guess we should.” I yawned. “I’m looking forward to getting home, but not so much to the trip there. I hope the girls make it easy for us.”

Will got up quickly and moved toward me. “I’m so happy you all could come out here for the wedding. All of you.” He looked at Chris and took both of my hands into his. “Nikki, we go way back, and you being here really means the world to me. I will always need you, Nikki. Always. I will always need you in my life. You are still, after all these years, the best friend I could ever ask for.” As he said this, he squeezed my hands tighter into his. Will looked as if he could cry. I didn’t know what to say. Part of me wanted to ask why, if he needed me so much, he let me go so long ago. And the other part of me wanted to tell him I needed him too. I wanted to ask Chris if he was okay with our dependence on one another. The friendship we were able to forge after our hearts were broken was worth the broken hearts and the tears. After all the years passed, Will was still in my life, and he was making it clear in front of my husband and in front of his new wife that I mattered to him – still after all the time gone by.

I hugged him. “Will. You mean a lot to me too. We’ve been through a lot together and we’ve always been there for each other. I’m so happy for you. You have found something – someone – I wasn’t sure you’d ever find.” I smiled at Rebecca. I wanted to tell him how much I loved him, still, even if in a different way, after all these years, I still loved him so much. But I just held the hug a bit longer instead.

Rebecca smiled at us both as we embraced. Will found my neck and lightly kissed me. I heard him whisper, “I love you, Nikki. I will always love you. I will always need you.” Then he pulled away and kissed me on both cheeks, shook Chris’ hand, and backed away from us both. Rebecca took her turn hugging us both and led the way to the front door. I imagined she was eager to be rid of guests, old friends or new, so she could spend time with her new husband.

“I’ll call you when we get to Colorado, Will. Take care, my friend.” I said as we were getting in the car.