30 Days (3 page)

I was so close now. The muscles in my thighs twitched uncontrollably. Sweat pooled between my breasts and at the small of my back. Both the pirates were moaning loud as he fucked her doggy style, their skin flushed, too beautiful for words.

My orgasm was there, waiting for me to reach out and take it. I knew what I needed to do, but didn't want the pleasure to end. There would be more. Another time. Take it. Please.

I pulled the vibrator from my pussy and pressed the wet tip to my clit and pinched my nipple hard. One breath, two, and my eyes squeezed shut.

The pleasure, the release came from every cell in my body. An explosion that seemed to rip me apart from the inside out, blasting away the silence and loneliness, to replace it with light. I screamed and my back arched to the point that my ass came off the couch. First my hearing went, and then my vision faded as I collapsed down in a heap.

Passing out after sex wasn't something that I'd ever remembered doing. Don't get me wrong, Rob had given me some good ones over the years, but this was . . .

Christ, there aren't even words for how amazing that one was. I'd finally done it, pushed through everything and reclaimed something that was mine. Rob would be thrilled. Hell, I was ecstatic! I wanted to laugh, do a naked victory lap around the condo, watch more of the movie and see if I could do it again. That was, once I got my energy back, because damn I was sleepy.

As I sat there trying to gather my strength to move once more, I realized that someone was knocking on my door. Loudly.

Shit, someone was here. Wanted to talk to me
right the hell now!

“Fuck.” I grabbed my panties and T-shirt and pulled them on as I stumbled toward the DVD player and switched it off. “Just a second!”

Yanking up my shorts, I didn't bother to do up the button and instead looked out through the peephole. It was Harrison.

Ah fuck.

It was too late to pretend I wasn't home, and I didn't have time to check in the mirror to see if I still had a sex-face. My heart, which had previously been pounding due to my orgasm, continued to pound out of a sense of impending doom. Taking a deep breath, I ran my hands through my hair quickly before opening the door partway.

“Hi there.” I smiled, cheeks twitching.
Please don't notice.
“What's up?”

Instead of the charming smile he'd had when we'd met up outside, Harrison was now frowning, his entire body rigid. “Are you okay? I was heading out again when I heard a scream. I swore it came from your place.”

I didn't need a mirror to know I was beet red. Yup, I was ready to die now. “Oh, yes. I'm fine. Thanks.”

“I know you're here alone and I was worried that something had happened. That someone had gotten in . . .” He stared at me for a few heartbeats and I had no doubt what he saw. Flushed face, messy hair, half-dressed.

His eyes widened and his lips parted.
And the light comes on.
So now I would forever be known as the girl-who-came-so-loud-everyone-heard. Wonderful.
I wonder if it's too late to move?

“Yeah, so I'm good.” I pressed my hand to the side of my throat. My skin was still warm to the touch. “Umm, this is awkward.”

“Sorry.” He didn't look sorry. He actually looked curious. “Were you in the bedroom? I'd like to know because if the soundproofing is that bad in this place—”

“No!” God, I wanted to die. “No. The soundproofing is normally just fine. You won't need to worry.”

I was never going to masturbate again.

“I've embarrassed you.” He still didn't look sorry. No, I was fairly certain he was finding this amusing.

“No you haven't. Well, maybe a little.” The floor could open up and swallow me whole now. Please. “It's . . . been a while for me. Dead husband and stuff. So, yeah. I'm fine. I think I'll go now. Okay, thanks for checking in.”

Harrison didn't say anything else as I shut the door, but I swore I saw him start to grin just before it clicked shut.

My life so wasn't going the way I'd intended.

4

“T
his is the absolute worst idea ever.” I stopped moving just past the coat check, crossed my arms, and glared at Nikki. “Seriously, I'm not going any farther.”

I've let my sister talk me into a great number of
dumb things
over the years, but going to a nightclub filled mostly with university students was now at the top of that list. While I certainly don't consider myself old, it became painfully obvious to me in the first five minutes of our arrival that I was also no longer twenty. Even as I stood there glaring, a group of glammed-up girls walked past wearing outfits that—okay Goddamn they looked really hot—announced that they were here for a good time. I was at least ten years older than most of these people. How the hell did she expect me to find someone to have random sex with here? Just go up and be all
hey, want to fuck?

Okay, that was a bit of a dumb question.

But still!

Nikki dismissed my concerns with a wave of her hand and a quick, “Trust me,” before she pulled me onto the dance floor. I
knew
I shouldn't have let her read through Rob's cards. My sister on a mission was never a good thing.

She'd gotten this crazy idea that the best way to jump-start my reintroduction into the world of dating was to take a survey of the available options. I wasn't thrilled with her speed-dating choice, but in retrospect, it might have made more sense than this. Honest to God, I didn't even know what song was playing. And were they twerking?

No way in hell.

“Nikki—”

She covered my mouth with her hand. “Baby, just have fun. That's all this is about. Not about sex, or finding a life partner. We're just here to enjoy ourselves. Two girls out on the town having fun.”

My sister is a dance freak and was quickly swallowed up by the throng of writhing bodies. Alone, I had two choices: dance or leave. Nikki was right about one thing, I hadn't let myself have much in the way of fun for a long time. So what if this wasn't my normal sort of evening out. The whole point was to get out there and do something different. A quick look around the club reassured me that I wasn't the only one here in my thirties. Everyone was having a good time. There was no reason why I couldn't go out there and have fun too.

I took a step toward the dance floor. When the world didn't end, I took another. As I moved closer, the bass from the music shook out my hesitation and the rhythm started to win me over. I got as far as the edge of the crowd, close enough to be a participant. I closed my eyes and tried to relax, to get into the flow of the beat. I let out a breath and began to move my hips in rhythm. The song didn't matter, the people around me didn't matter. I was here to enjoy myself.

For the first time in a long time, I had to give myself permission to be selfish.

So that's what I did.

Hands brushed against my body, bringing my attention back to the present. The occasional accidental bump gave way to something more intentional. Before I knew it, I wasn't on the edge of the crowd, but moving within it. The fear I'd been harboring gave way and I was able to let my guard down a tiny bit. A smile took root as I got more into the music and the energy of the crowd. Maybe Nikki was right about this. Maybe this really was exactly what I needed.

I remained an anonymous face in the crowd for a bit longer, until a dark-skinned guy who looked to be a bit older than the rest of the crowd slid up and fell into sync with me. It wasn't an accidental turn and
oops, look who I'm facing
. No, he was dancing
with
me.
Okay, so this is happening.
I gave him a smile, tucked my hair behind my ear, and just went with it.

This is just about having fun. You're not looking to pick him up.
Within minutes I was laughing as I tried to not look like a thirtysomething white girl with no rhythm, dancing.

The song changed and my dance partner stepped closer. “I'm Marcus.”

“Alyssa.” I smiled a bit wider. Marcus was handsome, my height, and smelled amazing. His shirt was tight enough that I could make out his muscles even in the dim light. I didn't even get any weird creepy vibes off him. This was going better than I thought.

Without missing a beat, he put his hands on my hips and pulled me within an inch of him. “I haven't seen you here before.”

I wasn't a great dancer to begin with, and having not done this with anyone besides Rob and a few friends, it was awkward being so close to a man I didn't know. I wasn't sure where to put my hands. Did I take his hips? Put them around his neck? I settled for reaching up and holding lightly onto his biceps. “No, it's my first time.”

Marcus's grin sent a shiver through me, but I wasn't certain if I liked it or not. “Nice.”

He dug his fingers in as he bucked his hips forward. The shift put his groin in direct contact with mine. I don't want to say I was shocked, but I totally was. I was grinding with a man I didn't know out on a dance floor in a club I'd never been in before. This wasn't the sort of thing I'd do, what I'd ever wanted to do, regardless of my relationship status.

I tried to take a step back, but Marcus held fast. His eyes were closed and he wore an expression of bliss as he danced. Shit, maybe I was overreacting to this. The guy clearly just wanted to have fun. I gave his biceps a squeeze and pulled back once more. Marcus opened his eyes and grinned before he pulled me fully against him.

“Come on, baby. Show me what you've got.”

“I don't think—”

Someone bumped into me from behind, pushing me flat against Marcus. His eyes lit up and his grin could have melted the coldest of hearts. He wasn't a bad guy. I shouldn't be so squirrelly about a simple dance. I forced my body to relax and tried once more to get into the song. I let my eyes drift shut and went with the flow, letting myself melt against him.

That was when I realized that he had a hard-on.

My eyes flew open and I immediately stepped away. Marcus stumbled a bit from the sudden absence of my body. He gave his head a little shake. “What's wrong?”

“I . . . I need a drink.”

Marcus grinned again. “I'll buy you a drink, baby.”

“No!” I stepped back again. “I'll get my own.”

“Hey now. We were having fun.” He reached out for me but I avoided his grasp.

We'd moved toward the edge of the dance floor. The bar was clearly in sight—well, the throng of people in front of the bar was visible—as was the door. “I think I should go.”

“Not having a good time?” His voice didn't hold even a little bit of a sarcastic note. He seemed more curious than anything.

“No, not really.”

“That's too bad. A pretty girl like you should always have fun.” The music changed again, this time to a slower beat. “We can talk. Or dance. Dancing is better.”

Before I had a chance to answer him, another man stepped up beside us. He was taller than both me and Marcus, his brown eyes serious and his body tense. My brain took a moment to realize that the face those eyes belonged to was someone I knew.

I swallowed hard. “Harrison? What are you doing here?”

Marcus held up his hands. “Dude, I didn't think she was with anyone.”

“I'm not.” I reached out and put a hand on Marcus's shoulder. “He's a friend from my building.”

Harrison still hadn't said anything, his gaze shifting between my face and where I was touching Marcus. I let my hand fall away. A sudden unexplained rush of guilt hit me hard. Stupid, considering I'd only talked to Harrison twice in my life. “I think I'm going to leave.”

“All right, pretty lady. You take care.” Marcus winked at me before stepping back into the crowd and disappearing.

That would have been nice—to disappear into the air. It would have saved me from what was about to come. For some reason, I was mildly annoyed with Harrison. He had no right to come here and scare away my dancing partner, even if I hadn't been comfortable and was considering leaving.

I crossed my arms and faced him. “Why did you do that?”

“Do what?” His voice easily reached me despite the bass-heavy song that played. “I didn't say a word.”

“You didn't have to. Did you learn how to brood and growl in sales school?”

Harrison glanced over to a table behind him. “I'm here with a client. I was getting drinks at the bar when I saw you trying to get away from that creep. I was just making sure you were okay.”

It was a chivalrous act. I shouldn't have been upset by this. And yet, my hackles immediately went up. “Marcus wasn't a creep. He was a nice guy who happened to like to grind while he danced. And for the record, I'm perfectly able to care for myself.”

“Never claimed you couldn't.”

“I've been looking after myself since I moved out from my parents' place.”

“I'm sure you have.”

“You don't know me. You don't know what I'm capable of. So next time you should wait to be asked”—I drove my finger into his chest—“before you poke your nose in to where it's not wanted.”

Rather than retreat the way Marcus did, Harrison caught my hand in his and pressed it against his chest. His fingers were warm and his skin soft as he held me tight. Unlike with Marcus, my body responded immediately. Which totally wasn't fair.

He gave my hand a squeeze. “You're right. I don't know you. I shouldn't have interfered. But I won't apologize for stepping in when I think someone is in danger. I'd rather deal with your annoyance than see you get hurt.”

When I thought
this is it,
he'd finally said his piece and was ready to let me go, Harrison surprised me once again. He lifted my hand to his mouth and pressed a gentle kiss to the back of it. “Have a good evening.”

I'm sure I stood there, hand hovering in the air, staring at his retreating back for far longer than I should have. What the hell was that? Did I just get mad at a man who was only trying to do the right thing? Did he think that I was someone who needed rescuing?

Goddammit, I didn't know if my heart should be melting, or if I wanted to go over there and punch him. Both? Was it possible to want to do both?

“Hey, you coming back out to dance?” Nikki had bounded up beside me, oblivious to the drama that had just unfolded. “You can't leave yet. We've been here like ten minutes.”

“It's been longer than that.” I wasn't even looking at her, my attention was still locked on the retreating ass of my frustrating neighbor.

Harrison had sat back down at the table with a man and a woman. While he wasn't looking at me, I got the impression that he was very much aware of what I was doing. I didn't know him well enough to have much of an impression of who he was as a person, but I wasn't about to let anyone think that I was so easily swayed. It was going to take more than a misplaced act of kindness and an excellent pair of well-fitted pants to win me over.

I took Nikki by the hand and marched out into the middle of the dance floor. “Let's rock it!”