20Seven (5 page)

The Ghost Inside Me

Breath as cold as ice,

heart turned to dust.

Bones broken with a vengeful lust.

You forget that I killed myself,

Now I’m not the one that you think you see now

because the ghost is in me.

I severed the cord

to wrap around your throat.

I set you up so many times

just to watch you fall again and again

but still you forget that you killed me,

Now the ghost is in me.

Who I once was has gone,

A corpse thought that rests inside my mind.

Something changed forever,

now I’m not the one you think you see.

iFix

Give me your addictions

coz I’m sick of all my own.

Tear me into pieces to rebuild your home.

For just 3 words you’ll suffer,

when you can never let go.

A never ending choke hold

and still you dream of the others.

I can accept that I’m the bastard,

the one who will lead you to believe

that all of your dreams will come true.

With only words I’ll have you on your knees,

right where I want you.

Soaked in filth

enough to drown

but all I wanted to do was touch you.

Disposing of memories,

everything you meant to me.

I once had it all.

Given away just like a gift

Was it all just a dream?

Not What It Seems

Hello there,

this is for you

and though you may claim to never know it

or never admit that you do...

The edge is so close and it’s one hell of a view,

but can you take the fall and manage the breaks?

Do you have the wings needed to fly away?

Coz you’re far from an angel so I’m not so sure

and I’m not calling you the devil but you never do know.

Playing an innocent, mindless and blank

to those who watch,

But seeing your eyes, I know you know something

You can’t hide a lie.

So I’m going from cold to hot

closer to finding the answer,

Closer to knowing the truth.

And when I make my discovery,

It’s just a secret for me and you.

Not The
Right Way

We all have options,

Choices to make.

The power to change lives.

When something snaps

and you feel cornered,

you chose to pick up a knife.

Lost your job, can’t afford the bills,

struggling to support the family.

You made the choice to go out at night

to try make a difference,

though your heart was in the right place

you should know that life isn’t a game.

Purposely bump a passing stranger

to raise the hostility.

You pulled your knife, threatened his life

in return for all his money

But the tables turned and you
’re about to learn

life can always go a harder way.

He grabbed your arm twisting the blade,

pushing it towards your throat!

You gave one big push to loosen his grip,

well he lost his footing

the stranger slipped.

Cracked his head on the pavement,

in disbelief you dropped to your knees

thinking your luck was in.

Emptied his pockets, you’re shaking and laughing

not realising the mess that you’re actually in.

The back of his head was pouring with blood,

A fractured skull!

For just a few quid you had killed him.

The Recipient

If everything has to change

to avoid an oncoming dilemma.

I can take it to the extent that I will welcome pain.

Numbed and ready to over achieve

I’ll take from you as long as I can gain.

An over stimulating process

has me on my knees leaning over to help you progress,

Is it enough to feel more?

To take all you can give?

To feel adored?

To keep you satisfied?

So just bury yourself in me,

Dig until you find something.

Something to keep you tied,

something to keep me in mind.

Organ

I am the fear

The pain

The hate

A memory left to gasp

Dream

Pray

And suffer

This collapsing lung struggles with society.

It’s been ridden like a horse & punished like a dog,

there’s only so much the organ can take,

so much it can give

before it kisses its own arse.

I can already see it’s prepared

to pucker up.

Feel Love

You take your clothes off,

an open invitation to feel love.

Never a shadow of doubt or responsibility.

You mastered the art of separation from yourself,

offered with a smile knowing your own damned abilities

I cut myself from the picture

and burned a hole straight through this love,

to separate myself from you.

Always behind a true feeling

you’re waiting for an apparent love

to wipe the slate,

washing away the things you’ve done.

This aint love!

An overwhelming urge

to paralyze what you feel

while you volunteer yourself

giving away your love

hoping for something real.

I’m Still Waiting

Everything’s come full circle,

a taste of freedom now long in the past.

From burning bright colours to black & white,

and so seeps in the grey

but with no 50 shades cliché.

No rules been broken,

just that same bitter taste of normality

and that constant need for change.

It
just hangs over my head

like the rope in the gallows.

I’m standing below awaiting my fate.

Will the change ever come?

...It’s Complicated

I want to complicate you

but simplify the need to touch you.

Crawl inside just to feel you,

push myself into all of you.

So please just face it

Turn around and face it!

Giving in is easy,

but ‘just living’ is too complacent.

Now turn around and face me,

look into my eyes and take me.

Breathe me in until you’re truly satisfied.

Electrified!

Let me be your torment!

Let me get inside your head!

More than imagination.

more than just a late night dream.

More than just a thought picking at your brain,

just let me be your complication

come and play my game.

Closer To Me

I want to sink my fingers into the heart of every dream

you ever had.

Deep into the memories to touch your past,

all to manipulate the future.

Making you what I want you to be,

turning awkward moments into pleasure.

Playing on your heart strings like a harp.

Playing along with a siren’s song,

that pulls me closer to you but further from safety.

Tied to a chariot that’s burning and falling apart.

I crucified the self belief you had

whilst drowning in the understanding you said I lacked.

Take A Load Off

I’m hanging on to what you said.

Hanging on by a thread

and I miss you!

My memories are alive and well

but with that being said the dream is dead.

And then these three words repeat in my head

‘I miss you!’

But you can take back what you left with me

The misery.

The confusion.

The anguish.

The illusion.

So those three words may exist

but the memories are parasitic,

on a feeding frenzy.

Though you’re hazy

you remind me of a stain

that just won’t be removed. 

Can’t Rely On Time

It’s time to let everything you know go,

just let it slip away.

I can sense the desperation,

I can taste the deprivation.

While every second passes

time pours on to the skin and burns.

Shedding flesh to become something new,

something more than you wanted to be

You say “I can’t rely on time to save me!”

Expecting nothing!

The only place we’ve ever been free

is in dreams.

That Lasting Battle We Call Life

Standards set high,

perched upon a skyscraper

resting so close to the edge.

The most beautiful skyline

spans my sight.

I’m losing the living fight,

I’m pulled apart by the will to survive

and an urge to die

without ever knowing...

Tune In

We’re all actors just playing our part

but we never chose our roles,

they were given at the start.

From birth.

Constantly learning,

conditioned from birth to play the best character

your parents could create.

Coz when you think about it...

If you
were raised by another family,

It would be a whole new show and your role would have changed.

New views, new opinions,

new options and a new beginning

but still inevitably leading to your own portrayal of a perfect human being.

Is it your own portrayal when surrounded by influence from your first gasp of air?

People and society will always imprint on your future

to control what they can’t in any other way.

So tune in and sit back

Because really...nothing will ever change.