20Seven (2 page)

Monday Morning

Sometimes I want to hold my breath

until I create the silence I so desperately desire.

Recently who ever I speak to annoys me,

It’s a strange feeling for me as I’m so placid.

I was always told at school that
, if I was any more laid back,

I would fall over.

Although one teacher also said I’d be the one that came

back in 10 years to shoot everyone.

Well sir…..it’s 11 years now and I still haven’t done it

So
fuck you!

That comment stayed with me and always will.

I’ve never felt this irritated by my surroundings.

Stupid looks and stupid questions,

s
ome people’s ignorance amazes me.

So what if I’m not as qualified as you!

I have more common sense and my job hasn’t made me an arrogant bastard!

Do
n’t dare be condescending to me.

When it all boils down I can’t say that we’re all the same,

bec
ause I’ll never be a pompous twat that thinks I’m better than everyone else.

Just because I work in the same building as you doesn’t mean you know me.

Don’t ever judge me on what you think you know.

I am not beneath you!

Feast From The Kill

A void of any positivity,

spewing venom into the eye of the beholder.

A stake through the heart of self conciseness,

their thoughts burnt on a cross.

This is the burden of negativity

hanging high in the gallows.

The vultures will swarm.

The sight of your end left them with a feeling of warmth,

this was but a dream.

Though the glorious day shall come,

the good shall prosper after all that you’ve done.

For now it’s a waiting game
.

They watch and pray for you to stumble,

wounded and served on a silver platter.

No one will remember your name.

Devastation

I promised her she’d be fine!

I said it will all be ok, there’s nothing to worry about.

The door slowly closes…

I’m waiting for what feels like hours,

I may as well be sat on a pile of rubble

the seats are that uncomfortable.

I hear a noise, I hear movement,

I look back at the door.

It opens with caution, as if it hesitates.

I see her face, it just crumbled away

and she fell to pieces in front of me.

For that moment she was just like glass, fragile, precious.
So helpless.

I couldn’t stop what was happening,

I wish I could!

In disbelief I sit….now at home with my head in my hands,

she lays in bed crying herself dry.

It’s just that…if she’s gone…what am I?

What do I do?

It’s not even an “if” anymore it’s when!

I don’t know what to do.

What can I say?

What can I do to take it away?

Why her?

Why us?

I have so many questions and no answers,

Nobody can help me feel at ease.

A god with no conscience if there’s a god at all.

In fact it clarifies my doubt,

no almighty power just her and me

and the closing walls.

Mortality

I’ve been counting the seconds down right from the start.

Seconds to hours, hours to days, days turn to months,

now I can’t tell them apart.

Time just moves too quickly

and the golden light is bearing down upon our thoughtless minds.

Throughout our short lived lives,

our time just isn’t long enough

and we don’t always spend it wisely .

The question beckons...

What to do with ourselves to make it all worthwhile?

Your opinion will
 always differ from another’s.

Thinking
about this too much just wastes more time.

Yet still we push through life like a knife,

savagely and with no regard.

Trying to get to the heart of it,

but when you take a stab in the dark

you just don’t know how much you’ll miss.

A Colourful Creation

Like a predator with a fresh kill

innocence appeals.

Felt down to the bones and into the core
.

Never a dirty word spoken
.

Never a dishonest word known
.

“T
ake me home”

Veins feel like they’re burning

with a blood that boils.

J
ust don’t disgrace the picture created,

t
he pure picture inside a thought once hated.

Now you’re there for the taking

waiting to be set free.

A tension that built so thick

will soon be at ease.

Release
!

Draw back
!

Now see what you’ve done
.

It weighs down on your conscience

but your mind has been blown.

Y
ou can see in colour,

o
nce born in monochrome.

This door has been opened

like never before.

There’s no option,

t
here’s no other way.

It’s time!

Even though the eventual outcome will be identical,

I have to take this leap of faith

to burn and choke or to take the crash landing on the chin.

What have I done to deserve this?

How can I make a change?

Forgive me for my sins and please god…make it quick.

What about my family?

I couldn’t get through!

I couldn’t hear their voices!

What the fu
ck is wrong with you?

Why are you doing this?

Do you really exist, if so what’s up with this shit?

Why are you taking these lives?

My family…I can see their faces…

They vanish past me as I’m falling so graceless
.

So scared, I’m as prepared as I can be,

please let it be instant!

Please take care of my family…

A Disaster Unfolds

I watched the irony hit you,

the clocks stopped.

The scene of the collision had me stood in awe,

a
train wreck,

Y
ou’re heading for disaster.

I can’t bear to stop it

as the sight of the smile that dropped from your face

it left me with a feeling, something so sweet to taste.

I feed from your misery,

y
ou just don’t know what it does for me.

While you struggle to breathe

I feel the need to repeat.

I watched again and again!

You hit the floor

like you were thrown from a building.

You’re a dancing disaster,

a spectacle to see.

A sight for sore eyes.

R
adiating naivety and innocence

with no need for compr
omise.

I pick you up to put you down

Something sadomasochistic.

Your conscience is weak and in a state of confusion,

now you’ve lost all possible relevance.

Blank Stares & Crooked Smiles

Now it’s not here and it’s fact,

I’m knee deep in love

with the fear.

The uncertainty,

My purgatory.

I balance on the tip of a blade

With a razor keeping me propped up.

Wrapped in glass,

my conscience has no known comfort.

It does not rest!

It does not ease!

A burden to myself.

I live with thoughts that shall never be seen

a
nd I smile.

Family Ties

It confuses me

How we treat each other
.

How we treat our friends
.

How we treat our families
.

How can we earn respect
when the bar is constantly being raised?

Why should I trust you if you cannot trust me?

Why is your lack of faith so strong?

Y
our apparent list of morals, so many, as life is long.

Why do you treat two people you love so different
ly?

How can you not see that you do this?

From the outside, you’re making up for what’s lost with no need,

t
he fences could be repaired if you stop turning your back.

Ignorance is not always bli
ss and one day you will realise,

b
ut people eventually give up.

People
’s time eventually ends.

All the times you turned away, now regret.

As your own heart eats away at you

a
nd you realise that was the end

T
here’s nothing you can do.

I’ve always said, it takes a death to bring a family together.

Apparent Victory

“I told you so!”

The most hollow of victories.

If this is it…then I don’t want to win
,

I need to break through the foundations

to build it back up again.

I have to rip out the tongue of the memories

that whisper in your ear.

A
devil on your’re shoulder

while your deep in
fear

and sinking further than I can reach
.

M
y arms will break for you,

just try to hold on
.

I’ll keep on living the lies

Wishing you weren’t there with him.

I won
’t look in your eyes when you speak.

Your look would just break right through
me

and I’ll shatter as I choose to be weak
,

t
o keep you here

I’d lock it all away

I don’t care what you’ve done

Just promise you’ll stay
.

Don’t look at me like that
,

I can see you
giving in.

Just put those fucking bags down
,

y
ou’re coming with me!