186 Miles (21 page)

“Linda…”

“Don’t,”
she sniffled.  “I can’t look at you right now.”

“I
love him.”

She
turned to me.  “I know, honey.  I’ve got eyes.  I knew when I came to your
house.”

“Why
didn’t you say anything?”

“Because
I wanted it to end.  I thought maybe he would just disappear and you would need
us again.  I thought that maybe you were with him because you were upset over
Ryan.”  She was crying now.  Just full-on crying.  “And then when I saw your
car pull up tonight… and he was driving.”  She choked on a sob.  “I thought you
were here to tell us that you were remarrying or something.”

“No,
Linda.  It’s not like that.”

“But
it
is
, darling.  I can see that boy’s face.  He is done.”

I
sighed and placed my hand in hers.  “I’ll never replace Ryan.  That’s not what
this is.  I just…”  I didn’t have the words.  I didn’t know what to say.  “He’s
moved in with me.”

She
placed her hand over her eyes, gently patting under her lids, removing tears. 
“Okay.”

What
did she
mean
, okay?

“What’s
going on, Linda?  Say what you need to.  Yell at me.  Something… please.”

“I
can’t yell at you, dear.  I understand what’s happening.”

“What
do you
mean
?”

“You’re
getting back at him!” she shouted.  “For that whole Lisa nonsense.”

“No,”
I replied.  “I forgave him for that.”

“You
never did... and I don’t blame you.  Something like that can slowly kill a
woman.  I know.”

What
did
that
mean?

She
continued, “Ryan told me.  He said that he didn’t love that girl, but that you
would never fully forgive him.  You wouldn’t sleep with him… he tried so hard.”

My
face got hot.  “Would you sleep with Walter if he did that to
you
?”  I
was practically screaming now.

She
turned, her face serious, whispering, “He
has
done that to me, sweetie. 
What do you
think
?  I can’t compete with women half my age vying for his
attention.  There have been a string of them everywhere.  The office, traveling,
my friends, the tennis club, you name it.”  She looked at the ground.

I
sat up, facing her.  “Linda…”

“No,
you don’t get to feel pity for me.  I understand that you’ve found someone
else.  I don’t blame you.”  Her eyes were soft now.  “I really don’t. 
Honestly.”

We
sat and talked for a while, opening up more than I ever had with her before. 
She stood and straightened her overpriced wool pants, finishing the last of her
wine.

“Now
then, let’s go face the firing squad, shall we?”

When
we walked back in, Vince and Walter were missing from the front room.  We found
them in the den, playing a game of pool.

Um,
what?

“Hello,
gentlemen,” Linda said.

“About
time,” Walter responded.  “You two done hashing it out?”  He walked over to me
and kissed the top of my head.

“We’re
fine.”  Linda focused her eyes on me.  “Better than fine.”

“Well,
then, should we have a proper drink then?”

My
eyes pleaded with Vince.  “Really, we have to go,” Vince said, handing his pool
stick to Walter.

He
took it and placed it back on the rack.  “Another time then?”

“Yes,”
I said.  “Soon.”  I took my time, choosing my words carefully.  “You two are my
family.  I’ve always thought of you that way.  My own mother refuses to
acknowledge Vince.  I would like you to meet his parents… for a dinner or
something, the next time they’re here.”

Linda
walked over to Vince, placing her hand in his.  “Yes, darling.  We would love
to meet them.  They are welcome in our home anytime.”

“Baby,
get a move on.  We’re gonna be late.”

I
groaned, audibly.  “I’m going as fast as I can.  I can’t find anything to wear.”

“You’ve
got ten thousand dresses in there.”

I
shot him a look.  “Whatever.”  He was right.  I didn’t know
what
my
problem was.  “Do we
have
to go to this party?”

“I
don’t care, honestly, but I think that Lauren’s gonna get pissed if you miss
her 40
^th
birthday.”

She
had been talking about it incessantly for the past two weeks.

“Uhhhhh,”
I complained.  “My hair sucks today.”

“Don’t
be a drama queen.  Just put a hat on.”

“Put
a
hat
on?” I whined.

“Yeah. 
Or wear fucking sweatpants.  I don’t care.  We can go and leave in an hour.  I
can tell Lauren that you’re on your period.”  He swatted my backside.

“Don’t
be smart, jackass.”

I
pulled a pink-and-white chevron print shift mini dress from my closet and
tugged it over my head.  “How about this one?”

Vince
didn’t even look at me.  “You look hot, now let’s go.”

“You
don’t even know what I’m wearing.”

“Yeah,
it’s a dress.”

I
threw the plastic hanger at him, missing by a mile.  He smiled and tackled me
onto the bed.  “Did you just throw that at me?”

I
kissed him hard.  “Can’t we just fuck and get take out?” I asked, laughing.

“Um…
that sounds awesome.  But, once again, if I don’t take you to that party,
I’m
gonna somehow be the dick, not
you
.”

*

We
were late, again… as usual.  I shuffled into the car, nearly thirty minutes
after the party started.  We had a twenty minute drive ahead of us.  Lauren
would
not
be thrilled.

Vince
looked so good; I could barely take my eyes off of him.  I rubbed his thigh and
moved my hand up towards his zipper.

“Baby,
I’m driving.”

I
kissed his neck.  “I know, I can see that.”

“So,
that means no touching.  I can’t concentrate.”

“I
can’t concentrate either,” I responded, my hand moving higher.  “You look like
Clark Kent in those glasses… it’s hot.  Maybe you should pull over in that
parking lot.”

He
turned his head, smiling.  “What is
with
you tonight?”

“Nothing,”
I whispered, “I just need you so much right now.”

He
laughed.  “Okay, Lois, I promise, we’ll make our way to the first bathroom I
see at her house and I’ll have my way with you, okay?”

“Promise?” 
I lowered my head and bit the top of his thigh.  When I rose back up, I saw a
set of headlights. 

The
sound of crushing metal overwhelmed my ears, but all I could focus on was the
blood. 
So much blood.

*

I
stared at him in that bed for three days.  Three days, I waited for him to wake
up. 

The
doctor said that Vince hadn’t suffered any paralysis or internal injuries.  The
accident was quick.  A hit-and-run. 
Not our fault.
 

He
wasn’t waking up.  He
had
to wake up.

I
sat at his bedside, barely sleeping, talking the entire time.

The
girls were here.  Carrie brought them.

Lila
said the funniest thing earlier.

Your
brother and Elsa are here.  They’ve got some news.  You need to wake up so they
can share, okay?

Your
mom and dad are worried sick about you.

Lauren
said I could take off as long as I need, so I’ll just be here.

I
was babbling constantly. 
Nervously.

On
the third day, his eyes opened.  It was Tuesday morning.  He was groggy. 
Confused.  He looked at me, but I couldn’t tell anything by his expression. 
Did
he know me?  Did he remember what happened?

“Vince?” 
I whispered.

“Rachel,”
he said, his voice hoarse. 
Oh, thank God.

Immediately,
I pushed the assistance button on the side of his bed.  The doctor came to take
his vitals and talk to him about what had happened. 

What
was our next move?

How
long would he be in therapy?

Would
he be the same?

He
sat there and listened.

I
knew that he was overwhelmed.  I would be taking care of him.  I had to know
everything.  When the doctor left us, I tried to help him understand.

“Hey.” 
I scooted closer to him.  He held his hand out for me to take.  I pressed my
lips to his cheek, kissing gently.  “How do you feel?”

“Tired,”
he responded.

“I
know.  You need to rest.  We were lucky.  Mostly lacerations, but you broke
your foot… and you lost a lot of blood.”  That last part stung.  I was
sick
that we weren’t a match.  I felt so helpless.

He
smiled at me.  “Okay,” he said, pausing, “I’m just glad you’re okay.”

I
rubbed his hand in mine.  “I’m fine.  The impact was on your side.”  I winced
at the memory.

“Good.”

“Are
you kidding me?  I’ve been watching you sleep for three days. 
Not
good.”

His
voice was rough, raspy.  “It’s good for
me
.  I couldn’t have watched you
for three days.”  He lifted his hand to brush my face.  “You said it was a
hit-and-run.  Did they catch the guy?”

“No,”
I responded, my face somber. 

“When
do we go home?”

“In
a few days, I think.  They wanted to run a few tests once you were awake.  If
everything is good, we should be able to get out of here.  I’ll take care of
you at home.”

“I’m
fine.”  He touched my bandage, just a few stitches above my eye.  “Does this
hurt?”

“No,”
I lied.  I had mostly forgotten about it in the past few days.  I also had a deep
cut on my left thigh, but he didn’t need to know about that just yet.

“We
missed the party,” he laughed.

“Lauren’s
been here every day.  She feels sick about it.”

“What
about Bob?”

“He
knows everything.  He’s been here a few times.  Don’t worry about work.  Hey, I
have something to tell you… it’s big.”

“What?”
he said, looking panicked.

“Elsa
and Jack… they’re… getting married.”

His
eyes widened.  “How long have I been out?” he joked.

“I
guess things have been a lot more serious over there than we thought.  He
wanted to wait until you woke up, but Elsa cracked.  They went home really
early this morning, but he said they’d be back in a few days.  Work stuff, I
guess.”

“Wow,”
he replied.  “That’s big, for sure.”  He looked a little somber.  “It’s great
though.  I’ll call him a little later.  I’m just really tired.”

He
rolled to his side, his eyes heavy from the medication.

“Sleep,
honey.”  I kissed his lips softly, waiting for him to wake up again.

*

Vince
was released on Thursday night.  He was walking stiffly, but other than that, he
was mostly back to normal.  He had to wear a boot for the next five weeks, but
he felt relieved.  After some minor therapy, he would make a full recovery.  He
was glad to be home, he told me often.

Belle
and Anthony had been staying with us for the week.  I had a few projects to
wrap up at work by Friday; they wanted to make sure that he was taken care of. 
I was grateful to them.  I couldn’t stand leaving him during the day
.

Belle
washed dishes, did laundry, cleaned around him while he slept.  “Stay in that
bed, baby.  You need rest.”  She sat with him, singing songs, talking.

“I
think I’m going to try to get a nap, Mamma.”  I heard him say this often.

“Il
mio bambino.  Sleep.”

She
pulled his covers to his neck and kissed him on the forehead.  “Buonanotte, miele.”

*

Friday
evening, I woke Vince at 5.  I wasn’t done with my project, but Lauren shoved
me out the door.  She knew I was a nervous wreck.  I kissed his neck and slid
in behind him, wrapping my arms around his waist.  “Hi,” I whispered.  “I’ve
missed you all day.  You feel okay?”

He
pushed back and craned his neck to kiss my lips.  He turned and faced me,
pushing his mouth against mine.

“Honey,
slow down.  I don’t want to hurt you.”

“I’m
fine,” he breathed.  “Just kiss me.”

I
pulled him closer, but my lips were guarded.  I was so worried about him.

He
broke the kiss, staring at me.  “Ray, for Christ’s sake, will you kiss me
already?  I’m not going to break.”

I
smiled.  “I just got you
back
.  I’ve been worried sick about you all
day.  I’m not going to take any chances.”  I rubbed his side.  “Have you
eaten?”

“Yes,
dear,” he responded, smiling.

“I
mean it, Vin.  You need to rest... and
eat
.”

“What
I need is for you to stop acting like I’m some kind of china doll.”  He pushed
closer.  “Now, get on top of me,” he said, smiling.

“No
can do, sweetie.  I’m going to cook you dinner.  Your parents went out to grab
something and take a walk on the trail.  They won’t be back for at least a few
hours.  So, we can have some time together.”

He
sat up.  “Good.”

I
ran my fingers through his wild hair.  “Let’s eat.”

He
pouted.  “I don’t want to eat.”

“Doctor
says you have to eat
something
.  You’re taking like forty pills.”

Vince
pulled the covers back and tugged at my dress, lifting it over my head.  He
kissed my stomach and trailed his fingers down my hips.  “Well, baby, I’m not
hungry for food.”  He licked around my navel, causing me to shiver.  He was
trying to distract me. 
I knew his game.

I
gripped the back of his hair.  “Please… stop,” I whispered. 
I didn’t want
him to stop. 
“Doctor says no sex this week.  Too much jostling.”

He
laughed.

“Hey,
his
words, not mine,” I giggled.

“But…
he didn’t say anything about kissing.”  He pressed his lips into my hips, my stomach,
my breasts, my legs.  I let out a soft moan when he swept his tongue over my
inner thigh.

“God,
Vince.”