120 days... (2 page)

Everything can change in a moment and Ethan McGregor’s life was about to be changed forever.

Ethan McGregor paced around his office overlooking the San Francisco Bay. With one phone to his ear, he barked out orders for the deal he was going in for the kill on. This was the biggest one of his career and sure to double his already impressive net worth. He glanced down at the cell phone in his other hand and scowled; he’d missed another call from his brother.

No one would recognize the child he was, the one who used to run around the middle-class neighborhood near San Francisco, California with a goofy smile on his face as he and his friends had adventures. Nor would they recognize the one who was born after his parents’ death when he was nineteen. Having quit community college to get a job in order to take care of his twelve-year-old brother, his life forever changed. The brothers were close until Evan went off and joined the Army as soon as he was able to be on his own. Once alone, Ethan used his street smarts to start making money and used that money to make more, until he became the go-to guy, for those looking for the right investment property, in the Bay area. He never looked back at the child, or teenager, he used to be; it was always onward to the next deal. His childhood memories were long and painful, so he chose to rarely visit them.

His assistant, Jodi, peeked her head in. He frowned at her, frustrated at the interruption. Shaking his head, he turned his back to her and continued his conversation on the phone. She walked around to stand right in front of him and looked at him with a raised eyebrow as if to say, ‘Get off the phone, now.’ He wondered if women were just born instinctively knowing how to use their facial expressions to get what they wanted without having to utter a word.

He spoke quickly, trying not to let his aggravation at his assistant show in his tone. “Peter, I have to go. You know what I want, get it done, or don’t call me back.” Hitting the disconnect button, he looked at her. “What?”

“Your brother is here.”

“My brother?” Ethan blinked a few times and looked down at the cell phone still clutched in his other hand. His heartbeat picked up speed wondering if something was wrong. Since Evan had joined the Army, they only saw each other about once a year and only talked on the phone every few months.

“Yes, you remember Evan, don’t you?”

“I know who my brother is, but what’s he doing here?” His frustration came through in his voice. Frantically, he hoped his brother was only in town for a day or two. He had too much to do and couldn’t be bothered to spend days playing family.

“Wanting to see you for some odd reason. Although, I don’t know why. It’s not like you’re pleasant to be around.” She folded her arms across her chest.

“I don’t pay for your backtalk,” he all but growled at her.

“No, that’s a free bonus for you. I’m the best assistant you’ve ever had. The only one who’d put up with you this long. Now, I’m showing your brother in.” She turned and stormed out of the room, but not before she closed the door with a small slam.

He hated to admit it, but she was right. Before Jodi, he’d gone through assistants like they were disposable razors. Not only did she put up with his shit, she was also damn good at what she did. She kept him in line, and his employees too. Hell, he figured she could run this place without him and he’d still make money.

“Hey, bro,” Evan’s calm, smooth voice came from the door. “Sorry to bother you.”

Ethan started speaking before he even turned around. “No prob–” His voice froze in his throat. He hadn’t seen his brother in over a year, but he looked like shit, too pale and too thin. “What the hell is wrong with you?” The muscles in his legs tightened with the urge to go to him. It seemed the big brother protective instinct was still there.

He gave him a small smile. “It’s good to see you too.”

“Seriously, Evan, what’s wrong? Have you been sick?” It made him uncomfortable looking at him. This wasn’t the brother he knew and loved.

“You could say that.” He pointed to the couch. “Do you mind if I sit down?”

“Of course not,” he said. “Bad case of the flu?”

A short laugh burst from Evan’s lips. “I wish. No, it’s cancer.”

Ethan couldn’t speak. It felt like all of the air had been sucked out of his lungs. He reached backwards with a shaking hand to find his desk so he could lean against it before he fell. “Damn.” This couldn’t be happening, raced over and over in his head. “Are you sure?”

“Oh, yeah, there’s no denying it.”

He tried to form words, but it took a moment before they could move past the lump in this throat. “How… how long?”

“How long have I had it? Does it matter? There’s nothing more that can be done. They’ve given me the typical, four-to-six weeks to live.”

“There’s got to be something that can be done.” Ethan pushed off his desk, and with anger radiating from him, he walked around it, forcibly opening his laptop and quickly pulling up a search engine. “I don’t want you to worry about the money. I’ve got it covered. We’ll go to the best doctors; we’ll go over to Europe. I’m always hearing about experimental drugs over there, and how they work wonders. What type of cancer is it? I need to know to find out who to go to.”

“Stop, Ethan, just stop. It’s too late.”

He couldn’t understand how his brother could be so calm. “No, no, I won’t accept that.” Ethan looked down at his hands; they were shaking so bad, he couldn’t type. Clenching his fists, he looked over at his brother. “There has to be something.” He felt like he was begging and hated it.

Evan spread his hands and raised a boney shoulder. “I’m sorry. There isn’t.”

“Dammit!” Standing forcefully, Ethan’s chair rolled backward, crashing into the wall, and he slammed his fists on his desk. “No, you’re wrong.”

For the first time, impatience creeped into Evan’s voice. “Ethan, I’m not some kid. I’m an adult, and have been for some time. I know the questions to ask, I know the second opinions to get. Trust me, there is nothing else to be done.”

“What has been done?”

“Nothing, it was too late by the time they caught it.”

His shoulders slumped. “Four-to-six weeks?”

“Yes.”

Trying to blink back his tears, Ethan ran his hands over his face trying to hide them from his brother. “Okay, fine, then I’ll take some time off. I know I haven’t been there for you in years, but I can be now.” He grabbed his chair, righted it and sat back down, bringing his calendar up. In his mind, he thought if he could spend some more time with his brother, he might be able to find something else for him to try, anything to save his life. “I can rearrange my schedule. It’s not a problem.” He had to focus on something beside the fact that his only relative was dying.

When Evan slowly stood up and walked over to where he was sitting, Ethan tried to ignore how frail he looked. An image of the two of them running around the backyard together when Evan was six and he was thirteen flashed through his mind. It was the first time Evan had been fast enough and sneaky enough to catch him at the game they were playing.

Evan’s thin hand trembled over his on the keyboard. “Stop. You already took care of me once. I’m not going to have you do it again.”

“I’m your brother, what else am I supposed to do?”

“What you’ve always done, your own thing, work. You don’t need to worry about me.” Evan walked back over and sat down on the couch.

“No, you’re not going to get your way. I’m going to be there for you. I’m the only family you have and I should be there.”

“I’m not your responsibility anymore. I haven’t been for fifteen years. You live your life.”

“I’m not going to accept that.” He started typing again. “I’m going to contact this guy I know. His father had cancer. They flew him to somewhere overseas. They cured him. He’s still alive. I’ll get the name of his doctor and we’ll charter a flight and be over there within the day.”

“Ethan, it’s my life, and I say no. Nothing is going to change the outcome. We’re all going to die. Cancer has made it so I can determine how I’m going to die, and it’s not going to be experimental treatment after experimental treatment. I’m going to live it the best way possible for as long as I can.”

“Fine, but then at least let me live it with you.” Now that Ethan knew his brother was dying, he could see exactly how sick he had become. He’d tried to hide it with a bulky sweater, but looking closely, Ethan could see the difference.

“You don’t understand. You’ve already taken care of me. I’m not going to ask you to do it again. You quit school and got a job you hated to take care of me. You’ve already sacrificed for me. I don’t want you to remember me so sick that I can’t do anything for myself, or even if I can remember who you are at the end. Ethan, death is never pretty. No, I’m going away to die. This is our good-bye.”

“No.” Ethan couldn’t believe what he was hearing. His gut twisted that his brother was giving up. Ethan threw his hands in the air with frustration. “Just like that? Now? After all of this time you just show up here and say you’re going off to die and I’m just supposed to accept it? Well, I don’t. This”—he jabbed his finger on his desk—“…this is not our good-bye.”

Evan smiled sadly. “It has to be. I don’t have much time left. Already I tire out so easily. I’m going to go out and do everything I possibly can, while I’m still able to. Then I am going to die with as much dignity as I possibly can.”

They looked at each other, Ethan in disbelief that this was the last time he would see his brother. It all seemed so surreal, like a nightmare. He closed his eyes, praying he’d wake up in his bed. Not in his office with his brother telling him he was dying of cancer. When he opened his eyes, nothing had changed. “Please…”

Shaking his head, Evan smiled sadly at him. “I’m only going to say this one more time, Ethan. This is my choice. I need you to understand, and I need you to not try to find me. Don’t send private detectives looking for me, because you won’t find me. We have the chance to say good-bye to each other, to remember one another as we stand here now. No regrets about what hasn’t been said, and you don’t have to watch me wither away and die. I can’t be worried about you, and how you’re going to react to seeing me like that, yelling at the doctors and nurses. This is my time, my last weeks. Let me live them as I see fit. Think of it as my last wish, one that you can easily fulfill.”

“But you’re my baby brother. I’m supposed to take care of you.”

Slowly, Evan stood up, walked over to him, and put his cold hand on Ethan’s shoulder. “I’m sorry. Thank you for everything, truly, thank you. When I was a kid and Mom and Dad died, you didn’t have to stick around and raise me, but you did. Because of you, I’m the man I grew up to be. Not perfect, but a hard worker, kind of an asshole, but the ‘When I give my word, it means everything’ kind of guy. Just like you. All I need from you is a promise you’ll slow down a bit, enjoy life, think of something besides work and maybe try some things you never thought you would ever do. Live. Live for me.” He squeezed his shoulder. “Good-bye, brother.”

Ethan’s voice wouldn’t come as he watched his brother slowly walk toward the door, fear and panic rising up through him. It couldn’t end like this. Leaping to his feet, Ethan quickly caught up to him. Grabbing him in a bear hug, his body racked with silent sobs, he squeezed his eyes shut. “I love you,” he whispered. There was nothing more he could do. “God, I love you.”

87 days later . . .

As soon as Ethan exited the lawyer’s office, he leaned up against the hot brick wall, tipping his head back and hitting it hard. He welcomed the pain. It matched what he was feeling in his heart. Listening to the lawyer drone on and on about his brother’s will was strange.

After Evan had shown up in his office to tell him he’d been diagnosed with cancer and say good-bye, Ethan’s life wasn’t the same. For the first month afterward, he threw himself into work, closing deal after deal, gambling on investments, demanding more, and each time, he came out ahead. But the thrill, the excitement was never there. Always in the background was the image of his brother, knowing he was out there dying. Alone.

One night after work, he found himself outside his brother’s apartment. He knew he’d asked him to stay away, his last wish, but he couldn’t anymore. Going up to the door he knocked. When no one answered, all the worst scenarios went through his head. He thought for sure he was lying on the other side of the door, needing his help but unable to call. Pounding his frustrations out on the door, he didn’t stop until the neighbor came out and told him no one lived there. It was vacant.

After that, he ended up hiring a private detective to find him, but he was unsuccessful. So he hired another one, and then another, the best money could buy. Evan had disappeared off the face of the Earth. No one could find him. He really meant what he’d said about not wanting Ethan to take care of him, or find him. All he could think of was he was really gone. They would never laugh together again, or fight, play, or just talk ever again. Even though he was still alive, somewhere, he wasn’t ever going to be able to hug him again. His mind wouldn’t leave the fact he’d wasted so many years away from Evan.