10 Ten Big Ones (13 page)

'I heard you went into their territory with a tank and ran over a bunch of them, ' Renee said. 'Including the head guy. And I heard you're the only one who can identify the Red Devil. And that you've sworn a blood oath to get him. '

'Omigod, ' I said. 'Who did you hear that from?'

'Everybody knows, ' Renee said. Its all over town. '

My mother crossed herself and ate her two doughnuts on the spot.

'It's the Hungarian side of the family. ' Grandma said. We're tough.

We come from a long line of army deserters and nasty alcoholics. '

'Probably we should be going home now, ' I said. My mother looked like the two doughnuts didn't do it. My mother had her lips pressed so tight together her face was turning blue. I was a trial to my mother.

We all trooped out to the bus and took our seats. 'Let me know if you need help rounding up those Slayers, ' Grandma said to me.

'I don't know what they are, but I bet I could kick some Slayer butt. '

They're a gang, ' Sally said. 'A really bad gang. I have to go through their territory to pick up a couple kids on my bus route, and it's like going through a war zone. They have sentries on the corners and soldiers patrolling the streets. And I don't know what it is, but these guys never smile. They just stand there, staring, like the living dead. '

'What do gangs do?' Grandma wanted to know.

They act tough, ' Sally said. 'And these days they control a lot of the drug traffic. And they kill each other. '

'I don't know what this world's coming to, ' Grandma said. 'Used to be the mob did that. What's left for the mob to do? No wonder

Lou Raguzzi looks so bad. I saw him the other day at Stiva's and his shoes were all run down at the heel. He probably can't afford to buy shoes. '

'Lou's doing fine, ' my mother said. 'He's being audited by the

IRS. He got those shoes special so he wouldn't look too successful. '

Everyone crossed themselves at the mention of the IRS. Street gangs and the mob paled in comparison to fear of the tax code.

'I'm going to have to take off, ' Sally said, stopping in front of my parents' house. 'I have to get across town to start picking the little dudes up. '

Thanks for the ride, ' Grandma said, making her way down the bus steps. 'Maybe I'll see you tonight. There's a good viewing at

I took Valerie's diaper bag, and my mother took Valerie's purse, and we all followed Grandma off the bus and up to the house.

'I have to go, too, ' I said, depositing the diaper bag in the hallway.

'It was nice of you to help your sister find a place, ' my mother said to me.

I hiked my own bag onto my shoulder. Thanks, but it was self-serving. '

It would have been self-serving to order her out of your apartment. Finding her a house was a nice thing to do. '

I took my bag of doughnuts, called goodbye to everyone, and let myself out. I climbed into Ranger's truck, and I sat there for a moment, trying to calm myself. I was going to be in big trouble if the rumors got back to the Slayers. The Slayers wouldn't like being run over and hunted down by a pasty-faced white woman. It wasn't the sort of thing that earned gangland prestige points. Not much I can do about it now, I thought. The best I could do was to stay away from them and try to keep a low profile. With any luck, the Slayers would be busy selling drugs and shooting each other and not have time for me.

I rolled the engine over, drove the length of the block, turned at the corner, and headed for Joe's house. Security check. I wanted to see for myself that the house was still standing, that no further damage had been done. I'd moved out of the house, but there were still ties. Just as there were still ties to Morelli. Truth was, I'd broken up with him so many times it was beginning to feel like the normal thing to do. For that matter, I wasn't sure if we'd actually broken up. It felt more like a reorganization.

Morelli's street was pretty much deserted, except for a van in front of Morelli's house. The van belonged to Joe's cousin, Mooch.

Mooch was covering the graffiti, painting Joe's front door a bright red. The graffiti was still on the sidewalk, but it didn't look as if anything new had been added. I slowed but I didn't stop. Mooch didn't look around from his work, and I didn't call out.

Next stop was Carol Cantell. I wasn't obligated to check on her every day, but I'd become attached to Carol. How could you not like someone who held up a Frito-Lay truck and then ate the evidence?

I parked in front of the Cantell house and walked to the porch.

Carol's sister, Cindy, opened the door before I rang the bell.

'We were in the front room, and we saw you pull up in the truck, '

Cindy said. 'Is something wrong?'

I looked around Cindy to Carol. 'Social visit. I wanted to make sure everything was okay. '

'I'm feeling a lot better, ' Carol said. 'I think I got the chips out of my system. '

Cindy leaned closer. 'Boy, you smell great, ' she said to me. 'You smell like... I don't know. Not exactly perfume. '

'It's shower gel, ' I said. 'I borrowed it from a guy I know. '

Carol came over and sniffed at me. Is he married?'

'Would he like to be?'

The question stuck with me until I was well out of Cantell's neighborhood. I hadn't a clue to the answer. I worked with Ranger, I drove his truck and I was living in his apartment, and yet I knew almost nothing about him. A few facts. He'd been married when he was very young, and he had a daughter in Florida. He'd dropped out of college to join the army. While in the army, he'd been

Special Forces. That was about it. He never shared his thoughts.

He rarely showed emotion. A smile once in a while. His apartment yielded little. He had good taste in furniture, leaning toward earth tones, and he had great taste in soap.

It was lunchtime, and I hadn't any idea what to do next, so I parked in the Shop n Bag lot and ate two of the doughnuts. I was scraping a blob of custard off my shirt when my phone rang.

'Where are you?' Morelli wanted to know.

`I'm in the Shop n Bag lot, and I'm eating lunch. '

'Have you heard the rumors?'

There are so many. Which ones are you talking about?'

Morelli gave an exasperated sigh.

'Oh, ' I said. 'Those rumors. Yeah, I heard those rumors. '

'What are you going to do about them?'

'I'm sort of hiding. '

'You'd better hide really well, because I'll put you under house arrest if I find you. '

'On what charges?'

'Reckless endangerment of self and driving me nuts. Where are you hiding? You're not staying with your parents. I checked. '

'I'm staying at a friend's place. '

'Is it safe?'

'Yep. ' Except from the friend.

Morelli disconnected and it was my turn to give an exasperated sigh. I was trying hard not to be scared.

I decided as long as I was in the lot I might as well do some food shopping, so I locked the truck and ambled into the store. I got a box of Frosted Flakes, a loaf of nice mushy white bread, a jar of peanut butter (the good land that's been hydrogenated and is full of trans fats and sugar), and ajar of non-gourmet olives.

I was pushing my cart down the sanitary products aisle when

Mrs Zuch spotted me.

'Stephanie Plum!' she said. 'I can't remember when I last saw you. I see your grandmother all the time, and I hear all about your exploits. '

'Whatever Grandma said, it's not true. '

'And this business about the Slayers... '

That's especially not true. '

'Everyone's talking about it. How you single-handed put them out of business. It's a shame about the killer. '

'Killer?'

'You know, the contract that's out on you. I hear they brought someone in from California. I'm surprised you're out and about like this. You don't even look like you're wearing a bulletproof vest, or anything. '

Was she serious? It's all rumor, ' I said. 'None of it's true. '

'I understand, ' Mrs Zuch said. 'And I think it's admirable that you're being so brave and so modest. But if it was me, I'd be wearing the vest. '

'I don't think the Slayers spend a lot of time in Shop n Bag. '

'You could be right, ' Mrs Zuch said. 'But just in case, I think I'll move on now. '

And Mrs Zuch put distance between us.

I made an effort not to furtively look over my shoulder while I wheeled my shopping cart to check out.

My phone rang when I got to the truck.

'What's all this noise about a contract killer?' Connie wanted to know. 'Have you talked to Joe?'

'Vinnie just wrote a bond on a lad from Slayerland, and all the kid could talk about was how you're going down. '

I rested my forehead on the steering wheel. This was out of control. 'I can't talk now, ' I told Connie. I'll call you back. '

I dialed Morelli, and I did some deep breathing while I waited.

`Yeah?' Morelli said.

'It's me. You know when you asked me if I heard the rumors?

Just exactly what rumors were you referring to?'

Tour vow to rid the world of Slayers rumor. Your vow to identify the Red Devil rumor. Oh yeah, and the contract killer rumor.

That's my personal favorite. '

'I just heard about the contract killer. Is it true?'

'Don't know. We're checking. Are you still in the Shop n Bag lot?'

A little alarm went off in my brain. He wouldn't actually try to catch me and lock me up in his house, would he?

'I did some grocery shopping, and I'm on my way back to the office, ' I told him. 'Let me know if you hear anything. '

I disconnected, plunged the key into the ignition, and took off, driving in the opposite direction of the office. This was dandy. Now

I had to hide out from the Slayers and from Morelli.

I had time to kill before I met Lula for our movie date and capture, so I headed for the mall. When in doubt... Shop. I parked at the Macy's entrance and meandered through the shoe department. My credit card was pretty much maxed out, and I didn't see anything worth going to debtors' prison over, so I wandered out of Macy's and hit the Godiva store. I collected all the loose change in the bottom of my bag, and I got two pieces of chocolate. If you buy chocolate with loose change the calories don't count. And anyway, one of the pieces was a raspberry truffle, so it was fruit. And fruit is healthy, right?

My cell phone rang while I was eating the second truffle.

'I thought you were going back to the office. ' Morelli said.

'Changed my mind at the last minute. '

'Where are you?'

'Sounds like there are a lot of people there. '

'I'm in a pavilion. '

'Sounds more like a shopping center. '

'And you called, why?' I asked.

They've released your car. I had it detailed and all the graffiti came off. You can pick it up anytime. '

'Thanks. That's great. I'll send my dad over for it. '

'You can run, but you can't hide, Cupcake, ' Morelli said. 'I'll find you. '

'You are such a cop. '

'Tell me about it. '

I disconnected and left the mall. It was almost six, so I headed for Lula's house. I ate the rest of the doughnuts while I sat in traffic on Route 1.

Lula was outside, sitting on her stoop, waiting for me. 'You're late, ' she said. 'We're gonna miss the beginning of the movie. I hate that. '

Traffic, ' I told her. 'And anyway, I'm only five minutes late. We have lots of time. '

'Yeah, but I gotta get popcorn. You can't watch no mutant movie without popcorn. And probably I need soda and some candy to balance out all that salt and grease on the popcorn. '

I parked in the multiplex lot and took a last look at the Pancek file. 'Harold Pancek, ' I read to Lula. Twenty-two years old. Blond hair, blue eyes, Caucasian. Chunky build. Five feet ten inches tall.

No identifying characteristics. This is the guy who took a leak on the rosebush. He's got a low ticket bond. We're not going to make a lot of money on him, but we need to bring him in anyway. '

'On account of we're professionals, ' Lula said.

'Yeah. And if we want to keep the job, we haven't got a choice. '

I pulled the file photo, and Lula and I studied it.

'He reminds me of someone, ' Lula said. 'I can't put my finger on it. '

'That's it. Skin like a sponge. '

I slipped the photo and the authorization to capture into my shoulder bag. I also had cuffs, a stun gun, and defense spray in the bag. My gun was in Morelli's cookie jar. Ranger's gun was in the truck. God knows what Lula had in her bag. Could be a loaded rocket launcher.

We crossed the lot and entered the theater. We got our tickets, our popcorn, our soda, our M&Ms, Jujubes, Twizzlers, and Junior Mints.

'Look there, ' Lula said. 'SpongeHead is collecting tickets. '

The smart thing would be to cuff him now. Any number of things could go wrong if I waited. He could go home sick. He could recognize me and leave. He could decide he hated his job and quit, never to be seen again.

'I've been dying to see this movie, ' Lula said, her arm wrapped around a tub of popcorn that was big enough to feed a family of eight.

'We really should cuff him now. If we wait he could get away. '

'Are you kidding me? I got my popcorn. I got my soda. I got my

Twizzlers. And on top of that, we've never been to a movie together. We never do anything together except work. I think this here's quality bonding time. And what about that hot mutant?

Don't you want to see the mutant?'

She had me there. I wanted to see the mutant. I approached

Pancek and handed him my ticket. I looked him in the eye and smiled. He smiled back, blank-faced, and tore my ticket in half. He did the same to Lula. No glimmer of recognition for either of us.

This is gonna be a snap, ' Lula said, taking a seat. 'On our way out we'll clap the cuffs on ol' Harold and trot him off to jail. '

After ninety minutes of mutant action, Lula was ready to bag

Pancek.

'We could be as good as those mutants, ' Lula said to me. 'You know the only difference between us and those mutants?

Costumes. They had cool costumes. I'm telling you, you can't go wrong with capes and boots. And you need an insignia. Maybe we should get an insignia. Something with a lightning bolt. '

Pancek was in the aisle directing people to the exit. Lula walked past Pancek, turned, and stood at his back. I was a few steps behind

Lula.