04 Last (30 page)

“We were just contemplating your face,” Jackson said in response to my question. “It made us a little sad...”

“Ha. Ha,” I said dryly. “You should do stand up.”

“He wouldn’t last,” Daniel said. “He’d kill the first heckler he met.”

“He would,” Alex agreed.

“You should learn to take criticism,” I said.

“By definition what you just said is criticism,” Jackson pointed out. “And, look, you are still alive.”

“That’s ‘cause you’re too lazy to get up and do something about it,” Daniel said.

“I’m all settled in,” Jackson said gesturing at his surroundings. “Got a babe on my arm, a fire in front of me…no need to ruin a good thing just for a minor irritation.”

Margaret whacked Jackson on the arm at calling her a babe, and we all smiled at his response, which was overdone and more than a little dramatic. He did his best to try to get Margaret to apologize, but she wouldn’t. The others watched their argument, welcoming the distraction. But as I stared at the fire I couldn’t help another familiar feeling that assaulted my senses: time was running out. More than that, it was chasing us. The gentle tick-tick-tick was becoming more rapid, more intense. I had a destiny, but was I ready for it? My heart was full of fear – fear because I didn’t know the answer to that question. I was afraid that there was no answer. Was anyone ever ready for a destiny that had little say in?

Daniel’s hand tightened on mine at the thought, and I realized he could hear me. He was as bothered by the idea as I was. I remembered that he had a fate he was scared of – a vision that hadn’t changed since he had inherited his gift. It was the vision of turning in to a Nightstalker. His destiny – if we could hold true to such lofty terms – was just as unknown as mine was. Only I could prepare for mine; I could train. Daniel had nothing but fear and expectation that he would one day turn in to a monster.

Feeling sobered by the thoughts –and wondering if thinking of ‘nothing’ was turning me morose – I stared at the fire and let the talking of the others surround me. Though their conversation was happy, for my sake, I allowed the dark thoughts. There would be time for happy laughter later – when I was feeling better, when my training was taking hold.

At least, I hoped so.

Chapter 11

Days passed by in a blur of training and activity. As the days passed, the wind stopped being chilly in favor of a fierce cold that cut through anyone brave enough to go outside. The season was changing to winter, just as my body changed with the training.

There was no sleep, despite the historian’s lessons wearing me out. I would not allow my body the weakness. More, I did not want Marcus to hunt in my dreams when I was so determined to improve. Dreaming of him would only sow the seeds of doubt more completely. He would point out how worthless I was – I did not need the extra doubt in my head.

There was no time that I was not thinking about training, even when I was around my friends. It wasn’t just the historian who kept me busy. It was a personal dedication to overcome my limitations, so that I could change the future. Every day was a struggle to be better – to learn the lessons the historian put before me. I did my best to do exactly as she asked, including thinking of everything, thinking of nothing, sparing with her, long runs, lowering and raising my mental shield, testing the limits of what my shield could do – I pushed my body to the limit. It was a limit that increased every single day. I was growing stronger; the days counting down to my birthday made me more confident that the change would mean something. I could feel it as much as the training.

My first successful attempt at using my skills while fighting was an accident. I had my dagger, while historian fought with the sword. She moved around me in a fluid dance of attack, retreat, repeat…I was tired, pushed beyond my limit. I couldn’t move in time. Her sword came toward my face. I was too slow to get out the way in time. I couldn’t block, I couldn’t roll. She would stab me. Instinct took over. I felt the pull of darkness before I realized what I had done. My trip in the darkness was brief. I appeared on the other side of the historian, feeling disoriented. My father’s necklace glowed with dull warmth. Was it the necklace that had brought me in to the dark or my own skill? It was difficult to tell.

The historian didn’t let me have a moment to appreciate the win. She spun and came at me with her sword again. I barely managed to block it in time.

It was impossible to tell if she was pleased with that moment – her face did not give away her emotions – but it made her push me harder. The next time I managed a talent, it was not on accident. It was by force of will. The moment was a turning point for my talents.

Slowly, but surely, I built up a strength I never knew I had and I felt my body and mind change. I was still Clare, but the abilities I had long harbored no longer frightened me; they were no longer foreign. They were a part of me. For the first time in my life, I was learning control; control of my thoughts, emotions, even my abilities. My abilities were no longer a byproduct of fear or anger.

The most free time I had was a couple of hours a day. I used those hours to steal private moments with Daniel and my friends. Whenever I did get a moment free, I noticed the slow decline of my companions’ good cheer. I wasn’t sure if it was the barren landscape or the waiting that was the biggest challenge for them, but their struggle was obvious. I harbored guilt and even tried to convince them on several occasions to go back to the ship, to carry out missions, anything that would bring them some relief from the monotony. They all scoffed at the idea and went back to enduring the weather and the boredom. Spider, more than anybody, seemed to decline in to a state of irritation. He was used to cities and places were things were happening all the time. Not to have a pocket to pick or a house to break in to was something close to torture. Too, I sensed that whatever secret Odette had told him weighed him down as much as the boredom. The weight of it was too much for him to carry. He didn’t mention his burden, but talking to him as the days wore on became as productive as talking to Margaret.

The only two who seemed as determined and as tired as me were Alex and Daniel. I was not sure if they had taken to their own training when I was not around or were wasting all their energy worrying about me. They didn’t say and I didn’t ask. My training had made me unable to focus on them in ways I normally would have.

The days passed into weeks and, before I could catch my breath, it was the morning of my birthday. The training had forced me to not dwell on what was coming – I didn’t have time for it. I only remembered my birthday because of Daniel.

It was barely dawn and the historian had just released me from a training session that had begun the previous evening. Daniel had a smile on his face as he met me at the entrance to the cave.

“Happy birthday,” he said.

“Birthday?” I asked.

“Yes, the day you were born…most people celebrate it. Yours happens to be today. What would you like to do?”

“Oh…” I said. “I don’t want to do anything.”

“Why not?” he asked.

My expression was sarcastic. He knew ‘why not.’ I wasn’t eager to celebrate a day that held so many uncertainties.

“We’re celebrating your day,” he said firmly. “There will be no argument.”

“You can’t make me,” I said.

“Want to bet?” he asked.

“Yes,” I said.

Serenity stepped out of the shadows as we passed a row of buildings. The movement did not startle either of us. I had felt her presence before we had even come close – one of the many benefits of the historian’s training. Awareness of everything all at once was a novelty, but I was learning to enjoy the benefits. Instead of a prickling awareness of being watched, I had learned to pay attention to the way people felt in general. That feeling gave me insight to my surroundings.
Daniel was obviously aware of the same training.

“Speaking of ‘your day’…We need to talk,” Serenity said.

“Oh, are you still around?” I asked.

Serenity smirked. “Patience isn’t normally my strongest of qualities, but I have been patient these past weeks…more than my share.”

“And what have you been so very patient about?” I asked.

“It’s time for you to speak with Odette again. She needs to tell you what you must do to prevent Marcus from ruining our world with his corrupted vision.”

“I already know what I need to do,” I said.

“Really?” Serenity asked.

“Yeah, I was thinking I would find Marcus and fight him to the death,” I said. “Problem solved.”

Serenity’s expression was playful. She put her hands on her hips in a characteristically seductive fashion.

“And how shall you find him?” Serenity asked. “Do you know something we do not? Do you know what he will do next? Because Odette does…she has seen it.”

Daniel was looking at me for an answer. His expression was neutral. I sensed his disproval of seeing Odette again, but he did not try to persuade me either way. Her information about the historian had been useful, but Odette was still a mystery – her reasons were unknown. He wanted to go another path, one that did not include her, but he was willing to let me make my own decision about my future.

“When does she want to speak with me?” I asked Serenity.

“She said to bring you before your birthday,” Serenity said. “So, I think now would be an appropriate time.”

“Fine,” I agreed. “I should probably talk to…”

“You may go,” the historian said.

She stepped out from a different shadow than the one Serenity had been hiding in, her presence not nearly as noticeable as Serenity’s had been. Daniel and Serenity looked startled, but I had grown accustomed to her sudden appearance.

“Do not speak of me, however, or what you have learned,” the historian continued. “I do not wish that fortune-teller to know how I have trained you.”

“Of course,” I said. “I wasn’t planning on telling her anything.”

“The others will want to come,” Daniel pointed out.

“Odette only wishes to speak with Clare,” Serenity said.

“I don’t care about what she wishes,” Daniel said hatefully.

“We’ll ask them,” I said.

“They’ll say they want to go,” Daniel said.

“Then we’ll all go,” I said.

“It is your choice,” Serenity demurred politely.

“I know,” I replied.

The others did not take long to deliberate. As soon as I told them about Serenity’s request, they all stood as if I had asked them if they wanted to go. Their faces were expectant. It was the expectation of something beyond blowing wind and the creepiness of an abandoned mining town. There was finally movement, a sense of doing something. I also knew that they were expecting me to be the one to take them.

Their stares were intense and full of willingness to believe I could do anything. They trusted in the training I had endured over the past three weeks. It was the first time I felt uncomfortable in front of them. It was also the first time I felt like I wasn’t just ‘Clare.’ I was an important part of the team – I could do something they couldn’t and that made me valuable. It was nice, but entirely disturbing.

I held out my hands for them to take. They gathered around me and touched me on my arm and hands – wherever they could – and I had to fight a laugh. It was odd to have them gathered around me in such a hopeful, expectant manner.

I pushed the laughter away and focused on our destination – the castle where Odette and the council lived. I figured it was good manners not to appear inside the castle, so I imagined the bridge. It took me longer than Sara to focus – I was infinitely less experienced – but once I did, my purpose was clear.

The moving dark was silent and still; it was a silence I found comforting. I was not scared to face it anymore. It reminded me of thinking of ‘nothing.’ There was peace in nothing, even if it was only transient. The second we set down on the bridge, it was obvious something was wrong.

Smoke swirled to the sky in a thick haze that clouded skies and obscured the sun. The castle was burning. Serenity’s eyes widened as she looked at her home. She broke away from the group and ran toward the front gate, which was completely gone. Black marks around the gate suggested it had blown up. The four guards that normally stood by it were nothing more than piles of ash. The twisted remains of their dark sunglasses were the only proof they had been human once.

We ran after her, the tension palpable in the group.

Beyond the charred gate, there were more piles of ash and more signs of destruction. Serenity didn’t slow down, though I saw her searching the place for survivors. Her destination was clear, the room where Odette normally held council. Reaper, Jackson and Margaret broke away from the group after a brief conversation, to check out the rest of the castle. Eli, Alex and Spider followed us down the large hall to Odette’s room.

Serenity stopped running when she reached he door. She looked flabbergasted. Her whole body shook. Her trembling was intense. It was the first time I had seen her without her seductive air. Her whole world was gone – she did not know how to adapt. She was emotional and out of control. When we reached the heavy door, I saw why.