Wounded Courage (Lucky Thirteen) (14 page)

“Addison?” Chris spoke.

“It was our nest egg.” I glanced up, to two frowning expressions. “Alex was going to fake his death and then we’d run off to some tropical island, get married, and live happy lives away from Simon Giroux and his brood. The fact that we would have this information would keep them from coming after us.”

Silence greeted that admission, which didn’t surprise me. I didn’t want to look at Murphy. He wasn’t at all forthcoming with his emotions on a regular basis, and I’d just thrown him one hell of a curve. Finally, I forced myself to look at him.

The expression on his face was not at all as stoic as I’d hoped. Pain flittered through his eyes, his muscles clenched and tense. Perhaps he hadn’t realized that I was going to marry Alex, or that I was still processing his death two months later. But what I hoped was that he didn’t think that he was a rebound or that I just needed sex. I needed him. Like I needed air.

Yes, I was going to marry Alex. But really, Alex had just been a substitute, and a poor one, for the guy I really loved, and the one who never wanted me.

~*~*~

I flipped the laptop lid and let the computer boot up. It automatically connected to the inflight WIFI. We’d just taken off in a private jet that I was pretty sure wasn’t standard SEAL equipment. It was like something out of a movie. We’d gotten in a chopper that then took us to a small airfield where the plane was sitting, fueled and ready to fly north to the United States.

This trip was just Murphy, Chris and me, and I wasn’t completely sure how to handle being alone with either of them.

I stared at the screen, watching the cursor blink in the empty address bar on the browser. Something had occurred to me, sitting there, ready to check my email. I wasn’t sure I wanted to open it with family in the room, or the guy I was currently or had currently been sleeping with. I hadn’t checked it since before Alex died, so I was a little nervous that some of Alex’s more… raunchy emails were still in my inbox, waiting to be read.

I stared at the screen more, unsure of what I should do. What if there was something really incriminating there? Something that would ruin their trust in me.

“You look like a lost puppy.” I turned toward Murphy who sat in the chair across from me. Between us the small round table created a welcome barrier, especially when I didn’t know where we stood at the moment. My brother was in the back cabin, sleeping.

“Just thinking.” I told him. 

“What are you thinking about?”

“My email, of course. You know, since I have this computer here open and ready to check it.”

“Okay,” he frowned. “What about it?”

“I have to check it.”

“Check your email?”

“Yes.” I didn’t elaborate, and I didn’t really want to. I mean, I just slept with the guy, didn’t know what page we were on, and I wanted it to be more than just one night.

“And it’s going to bite you?”

“No, but I haven’t checked it since before Alex died.”

“Oh.” He leaned away from me, which left me cold, but he didn’t leave. He draped his arm over the armrest beside him. “What do you think will be in there?”

“I don’t know. I’m a little afraid to open it here.”

“Why?”

“Because…” I cleared my throat and glanced around. “Because while I trust you and my brother, I’m not sure that I trust anyone else. What if…” I trailed off with a long sigh. “I’m turning into Simon. I’m so paranoid.” It was kind of like airing my dirty underwear.

“Paranoid isn’t bad.”

“There might be something about the inheritance there. I have to face it eventually. I can’t hide here and hope it goes away.” As much as I wanted to do exactly that. I didn’t want to deal with this without Alex anymore.

“It’s not safe for you,” Murphy shook his head.

“It will never be safe for me,” I told him. “I have to live my life, right.”

“So open up your email,” he said. There was a dare in his eyes when I looked up at him. He crossed his arms, not in an angry way, but expectant. But I wasn’t sure if he was expecting me to stop or actually open it. Bastard. He was manipulating me.

So I did it.

I scrolled through the older things. There were a couple of unread emails from Alex, which I skimmed over. I wasn’t ready to read Dead Alex emails just yet. A couple from my mother, including one with the subject line “I found the perfect guy!!!” which made me both blush and cringe. Why did she always want to set me up with all the redneck losers from Oak Creek?

Finally, I made it to yesterday’s email, and as expected, there was the email I’d dreaded. Right there in black and white. 

From: Simon Giroux  Subject: We need to talk.

You’d think he’d be too paranoid to use email but he used it more often than his phone. Murphy saw my face, and glanced at the screen. His eyes widened, but only a little. Forever in control, that one.

“Open it.”

I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to talk to Simon Giroux. I didn’t want anything to do with him or his family anymore. My connection to them had died and I was not going to get sucked back in like Alex did.

“Addison?” I glanced up at Murphy. He gripped one hand and squeezed gently. “I’m right here. It’ll be okay. Let’s see what he said.”

Begrudgingly, I clicked the email. The system was running slow, so it took a moment to open the window with the email. I let out a shuddered breath.

Dear Addison,

Let’s talk soon. I’ll be in touch.

Best, Simon

~*~*~

My lungs had trouble filling with air. I gripped the armrests tightly. Meet with Simon? I’d met the guy once. He’d scared the shit out of me. He was intense.

“Addison?”

Slowly, I turned and glanced over at Murphy. He looked concerned, for which I didn’t blame him. I imagined I was acting pretty weird.

“Yes, Murphy?”

“You okay?”

“No, not really.” I blinked, but I didn’t look away from him. “An international criminal mastermind just emailed me and wants to talk. I am anything but okay.”

“Ignore it.”

“One does not ignore Simon Giroux.” I swallowed. “Here’s the deal. He’s biding his time. He probably knows exactly where I’m at and exactly who I’m with. I have to get out of here, Murphy. It’s not safe.”

“Don’t get hasty.” Murphy pushed the lid down on the laptop and moved around the table so he could sit in the seat next to me. He was close to eye level with me. “Listen, I will protect you. I promised you I would. You have to stick with me, though.”

Stick with him? I wanted to cling to his leg like a koala bear.

“You don’t know Simon,” I whispered. I said that, and really, I didn’t know Simon either. All I had were the stories Alex had told me, and the one time I’d met him. But even though I was terrified, I knew I’d have to meet with him. I was now the manager of his son’s money. “I’m going to have to talk to him.”

“No.”

I stood up and backed away from the desk, and Murphy. The plane, though super posh, wasn’t especially spacious. Murphy watched and didn’t move as I tripped over the nearest chair. Murphy was a blur of motion as he wrapped an arm around my waist and hoisted me back to my feet, keeping me from hitting the floor. My hands gripped his shirt, holding tight. How was I going to handle this?

My heart pounded, my breathing was shallow. His eyes mesmerized me. “Murphy…”

His fingers dug into my waist as he held me. I could have stayed there forever. He didn’t release me, didn’t even loosen his hold on me. I was glad. I was pretty sure that if he did, I’d have melted to the floor. The heat from his body warmed me, his chest hot under my palm.

“Simon will kill you.”

“He won’t.”

“And how do you know that?” The disbelief in his oceanic eyes couldn’t be hidden away.

“Because Alex prepared for that.” An uneasy smile slipped from me. I had a hard time concentrating with Murphy’s arms around me. All I wanted was to kiss him, strip him naked, and have my evil way with him forever.

“Alex.” The way he said the name was dead. He set me to my feet, and then Murphy stepped back from me. Cool air replaced his warmth. “How?”

“If anything happens to me, the money gets tied up in legalities for years. And our personal files we collected on Simon hit the press and Interpol. It’s all bad news for him.”

“But there was nothing for Alex’s protection.”

“Alex never thought his own brother would shoot him. It never ever crossed his mind… But the idea was always to fake his death, so no, there was no protection for him.” I bit my lower lip, hesitating to ask my next question.

“What is it?” Murphy, of course, would catch on to any change in my demeanor.

“Does it bother you that I was going to marry him?” I pulled my hands in close to my body, picking at the tips of my fingernails. “I mean, do you think less of me?”

His face blanked for a moment then he seemed to get angry. “What?”

“I mean…” I paused, unable to think of the right words.

“I know what you mean,” he snapped. He strode toward me, and like a coward, I backed up, straight into the wall behind me. He planted his arms on either side of my head, like hard, iron bars on a cage. Even if I could have broken his hold, I was held immoveable by the intensity of his eyes. “I am incapable of thinking less of you.”

“But…” I stopped, feeling the hot sting of tears approaching. I wasn’t in any shape to handle this conversation. Instead, I said nothing, and rested my hands on his chest. He dropped his head to the crook of my neck, his breath and his firm lips hot on my skin.

His lips made contact with my neck, brushing gently over my skin, and leaving me feverish. “Did you think that I would be done after one night of making love to you?”

Made love? That was what he was calling it? I halfway expected him to call it a simple fuck. It lifted my heart’s weight from my gut to hear him say it that way. It gave me hope that I wasn’t just… convenient.

“I realized that you are the only thing in my life that I wanted and didn’t go after.”

“I… Don’t say that.” My voice cracked.

“Remember the graduation ceremony after BUD/S?”

“Yes.” I remembered seeing him standing next to my brother in their class of twenty-five out of eighty-five that made it through. Tall, proud, and irresistibly sexy.

“I left right after.”

“I remember I didn’t see you after the ceremony.” I’d been super disappointed. I’d hoped that I could finally tell him how I felt, at least before I left for the exchange program.

“Yeah. I knew then that I wanted you, but I was too afraid to take the chance. I let you go, and you found your way into the worst family ever.” He sighed and brushed my cheek with rough fingertips. “I feel like that is my fault. That you’re involved because I didn’t tell you the truth. Because I was too scared to love you.”

“Don’t. Eamon Murphy is never scared. You’re my rock. The brick wall that keeps out the bad guys.” God that sounded corny coming from my mouth, but it was true. For all the flightiness in my personality and my life, and having to constantly live up to the perfection that was my brother, Murphy had always been there for me to lean on. He’d always seen me.

“I was scared. I am scared. I need you, Addison, and I can’t stand the idea that you could just not be there. I need to feel you, to see you, to hear you laugh.”

“Stop!” I sobbed, my heart breaking inside my chest. Not from misery. From fear, because I didn’t know if he was truly feeling that way, or if he was saying what I wanted him to say. “Please. I can’t listen to this anymore!” I was so addicted to Eamon Murphy that I couldn’t imagine my life without him in it anymore. But Simon Giroux had me pegged for a conversation real soon, and I wasn’t sure that I’d come back from it. I couldn’t afford to let Murphy love me, though every fiber of my being loved him.

“Why not?”

“It’s dangerous.”

“I will protect you. I told you that.”

“But who will protect
you
?”

I hissed as his lips touched the lobe of my ear, nibbling gently. A sharp arousal went straight between my legs. “Don’t worry. I am a United States Navy SEAL. Between you and me, I can handle myself.”

“Giroux is not the typical grunt you’re used to fighting. He’s dangerous. He’s smart.” My body ached for him to touch me more. “So don’t ask me not to worry.”

“Maybe I like that you worry,” he replied. “I love you, Addison. There’s no getting around that.” His eyes searched mine, pulling apart the layers of masks I’d tried to wear over the years until I was that silly little five-year-old girl who played with the boys and followed them around like a lovesick princess.

His lips went back to my neck, gentle little touches across the skin there. I closed my eyes, losing myself in the sparks of sensation his touch granted me. “I decided something today, Addison. Actually, I decided it the other night.”

“And what’s that?” I didn’t even recognize my own voice. It was saturated with arousal and the strain of holding it back.

“I’m done letting you go. I’m done letting you walk away from me. I want you, and I will have you.” His tongue slid along my jugular. Tingles of excitement shuddered through my body. “If that means I keep your secrets, then okay. I will keep your secrets.”

His statements were powerful. Murphy never said anything he didn’t mean. He’d never lied to me. I was pretty sure he’d never lied to anyone. “I can’t ask you to do that. I won’t ask you to lie for me.”

“You’re not.” His hand slid around my waist, his arm tightening, bringing me closer still. I clung to his shoulders because that was all I could do. He had me pressed against the wall, his hard body flush with mine. “My number one priority has always been you. I went into the Navy with Chris because I knew if he was killed, it would devastate you. I wanted to protect you, and at the time, it meant keeping Chris safe.”

I met his eyes. Clear, baby blues that held an entire world within them. There were no lies in his world, no criminal mastermind parental units, no family murders, or secret blackmail to keep people safe. “You wanted to protect me?”

“I thought that if you could be proud of me, then maybe you’d want to be with me. That you could love me.” One corner of his lips rose. He looked down and interlocked his fingers with mine. “That you would realize we fit.”