They claim that surveys show that men and women feel differently about threats to the primary relationship: men, they say, are most outraged at the thought of sexual infidelity in a mate, while women are less disturbed at the idea of a sexual infraction and more distressed at the thought of emotional infidelity in a husband. Their interpretation of the discrepancy is that a man's reproductive success is compromised by the possibility of being unwittingly saddled with another man's offspring, while a woman's success is most jeopardized if her husband leaves her for another love. Thus, the theory goes, it is adaptive for men to feel insane sexual jealousy and women to dread emotional betrayal. But for the life of me I can't see how a woman can "know," in that Stone Age way she supposedly knows, the difference between a husband's harmless dalliance and a serious threat to her marriage, or how she can trust a man who has cheated on her sexually to be emotionally reliable and to stick around long enough to pay for college tuition. I can imagine how a woman might put up with bad behavior because she has no choice, because she is too poor to leave a rotten marriage and make it on her own.
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It's hard to know what we really want to do beneath the multiple sheaths of compromise and constraint. Let's turn again to olive baboons. Female baboons, as they start heading toward estrus, become outrageously promiscuous. "I have seen them literally hop from one guy to the next," says Smuts. "They'll mate with ten different males in the space of an hour." But as the female's day of ovulation proper approaches, the males around her become ever less tolerant of her dabblings and begin to constrain her behavior. "You see a dramatic shift at peak estrus, from radical promiscuity to the female being with one male," says Smuts. The male she is with might be a rugged fighter type, an affiliator, or a lubricator; the point is, a male has claimed her, and males can make their position felt, for they are much bigger than the females and have a wicked set of slashing canines. Rebecca Dowhan, a student of Smuts's, wanted to know how a female would behave during peak estrus, the moment of truth, if not constrained by a single male. Working with a population of captive baboons, she took a female who had already formed an exclusive estrus consortship with one male, and she put the female in an area with that male and two other familiar males. The males were in separate cages, so the female could interact
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