Wishing on the Water (Water Series Book 1) (13 page)

Dinner was delicious and time flew as we engaged in conversation about the differences between California and New York. I looked at my watch and it was nearly 10p.m. I needed to get back and get the information packets done for the next day. I was getting ready to excuse myself and head back when Mark spoke up.

“
Candice, would you join me in bringing back a nightcap for everyone from the bar since our waiter is busy?”

I nodded and excused myself from the table. He walked around and held out his elbow for me to take as we headed toward the bar.

Once we got near the bar, Mark kept walking until we were in a darkened corner of it where you could not see the lobby area. We were essentially hidden from Andrew and Brooklyn.

“
What did you do to my partner?” Mark asked.

“
Who is your partner?” I asked, because I wasn’t thinking of who could have been the obvious answer.

“
Jax is helping me with a couple cases. I need him clear headed and on the right track. A simple night with you and he is ready to blow an investigation and murder someone. He has spent months getting in this far.”

“
Who does he want to kill?” I whispered, as if someone might have heard.

“
One of the cases I am working on involved his old partner. I can’t talk about it right now, but he is balls deep in it. Whatever you did to him last night,
undo
it so he keeps a clear head and doesn’t get killed.”

I nodded that I understood, even though I didn’t have a clue what he was talking about. The words echoed in my head that Jax could be killed. I asked Mark to convey my apologies and I left.

Half an hour in a cab and I was sitting in front of Jax’s house. The word’s ‘officer slain’ had been captioned on newspapers when Chase died. I could still see them in my head, only this time my mind envisioned Jax’s face on the cover and I wanted to throw up.

I couldn’t breathe while thinking something could happen to Jax. I felt dizzy when I thought about what Mark said. My heart ached. I had been such a bitch to him, when none of it was his fault.

I climbed out of the cab and the driver sped off as I approached the door. I rang the doorbell, but no one answered. I went and found the tiny plastic frog that was in his potted plant at his door and found the spare key below it. I opened the door and let myself in.

I turned on the lights and looked around the house. Not much had changed. There were still pictures of me and Chase on the mantle with Jax. There was a new picture with Jax and my dad that sat beside the one of me blowing a kiss at him. There was also a centerpiece picture of him and the blond.

I went upstairs and stared at the room I had snuck out of. I sat down on the bed and began to wonder what would have happened between us if I had stayed. Would Jax have filled my heart and made me a better person like Helen at the airport had said, or would I have ended our friendship like I did when I ran?

I saw my luggage that I had left behind that night was sitting inside the edge of the closet. I had expected him to toss everything, but he didn’t. I walked into his bedroom and saw a picture of the blond sitting beside his bed. I turned back to see two toothbrushes in the bathroom and my heart sank.

My head started spinning with phrases like Jax might die, and he doesn’t want you anymore. I walked back downstairs and sat on the couch. I was getting ready to call a cab when I heard a noise outside. I froze, wondering who it was. Then there was a key in the door and my heart started racing. I watched as the door knob opened so slowly. My palms had grown sweaty and my heart raced. My stomach tightened with each thought of seeing Jax.

Then the door opened and in walked a beautiful, long legged blond, who was kissing Jax. He had his arms around her waist and was pulling her into the house backwards as she jumped to wrap her legs around him. I was about to vomit.

“
Candice?” Jax asked, when he pulled his face off the blond long enough to see me on the couch. I was so overwhelmed with emotion. The words that he was going to die were floating in my head, making me panic as my eyes took in the woman on his arm with jealousy. My eyes burned as they filled with tears, but I couldn’t say a word. I merely held my arms clutched to my body.

“
Candice, what are you doing here?” Jax asked, but I couldn’t say a word. “Vanessa, take my truck and head home. I think Candice and I need to talk.” Jax spoke to the blond who protested and pouted her lips. I should have left and walked away, but the words echoed in my head that Jax would die and I would never be able to tell him what he means to me.

Jax finally convinced Vanessa to leave with his truck. I inhaled deeply and knew it was time to say something. I had to let go and just let life carry me. I closed my eyes and tried to calm myself, but it wasn’t working. When I opened my eyes up, Jax was sitting on the coffee table in front of me. He looked worried, which was a relief, considering I was being a cock block or whatever they call those people.

“
Candice, are you alright?” Jax asked in a whisper, as his hand landed on my knee. Fire strummed through me, and I lost control of my thoughts.

“
You can’t die!” I demanded and his hand left my knee.

“
What are you talking about?” Jax asked, as he stood up and turned on the fireplace. I stood up and threw my clutch onto the couch. I pulled off my coat and dropped it as well. Jax turned and looked me up and down. It was like breathing fresh air to see him look at me the way he used too.

“
You know exactly what I am talking about. Mark talked to me at dinner tonight.”

Jax walked around the coffee table, took my hand and led me upstairs, into the spare bedroom where we had made love. I watched as he opened the closet and pulled out my luggage.

“
Thank you for staying at Chez Monroe. Let us call you a cab,” Jax murmured and handed me my bags. I deserved this for what I had done. I deserved a lot worse actually.

“
Jaxson…” I started, but was cut off by an angry, well defined detective.

“
Candice, I don’t know what you are doing here, but let me tell you what I have done. I buried my best friend, then I found comfort in the arms of his girl, my other best friend. I thought it was the start of something that would lead to a happy ending. Then you snuck out of the house, moved three thousand miles away and cut me out of your life. Then you show up here, get plastered and tell me you hate me because you love me. I moved on the best way I knew how and you should, too. It’s not healthy to hold onto Chase this way.”

A single tear fell from my eye and I had no control over myself anymore. I walked right up to Jax and ripped opened his blue button down shirt to take in the St. Michaels necklace he was still wearing. I took the necklace in my hand like the photo online and pulled, but Jax didn’t come down to me.

“
Do you love her?” I whispered as I held the pendant in my hand.

“
Does it matter?” Jax replied, as he pulled my hand off his necklace.

“
Jax please,” I begged with tears in my eyes.

“
You are not listening to me. It is not healthy for you to look me up online and come to my house whenever you want. I loved you Candice. I loved everything about you. Chase dying made me see that you were the reason why I never settled down. Then I saw the real you, the one who runs like a coward and hides when things get real.”

“
Jax, please!” I pleaded for him to stop.

“
I don’t want anyone like that in my life. I deserve to be happy, not to be hurt. Candice, you left months ago, and left a lot of broken hearts on your way out of town. I understood the anger from Christina, but to flee because of that and not turn to your friends and family was wrong. You stayed away too long so we moved on, Candice, and we are getting by just fine without you; maybe you should move on back to California.”

I was essentially speechless. I had had my heart broken many times, but never by Jax. He must really love her.

“
Is this a see-ya-later?” I asked, hoping for a positive answer, even though I doubted it. I missed Jax in my life; he was my rock of strength and my sounding board when I needed to vent. He was my best friend. The ache in my chest said that I loved him as I loved Chase, but how can that be possible? How can someone love two people the same?

“
Candice, this is not a see-ya-later. This is where you say goodbye, you go home, and you let us get on with the lives. You bailed out of our lives on the first thing flying out of New York. It is time for history to repeat itself.”

I grabbed my bags and carried them down the stairs while Jax called me a cab to come pick me up. I should have expected this. I had done everything he said and then I invaded his house and his life. I should just accept this and go on, but I couldn’t.

“
Jax, I really am sorry for any pain I caused you.”

Jax merely looked at me and nodded his head as he wandered into the kitchen and grabbed the coffee grounds. I smiled as I saw the Tim Horton’s bag he pulled out and remembered a time when we would have been enjoying that together, when our veins pumped the caffeinated goodness while we shared smiles, laughs, and secrets.

“
Jax, thank you for taking care of my dad. If you will send me the bill for the roof, I would like to pay for it.”

“
No!” Jax answered sharply. “He was a second father to me growing up; I owe him more than a roof. You can pay for the next one.”

“
Are you always going to hate me?” I whispered, as there was so much hostility in his voice. Jax hung his head and stopped what he was doing. He took a deep breath and then looked my way.

“
Candice, I don’t know what you want me to say. If I say yes, then that will hurt you and if I say no, then you will also be hurt, wondering what you might do to make me not hate you. If I say nothing, then your writer brain will concoct all kinds of other words for hate and try them all. You should just go home and let it go.”

The cab pulled up as thunder roared. The temps were not cold enough yet for more snow to fall. I was finally going to get my raindrops. I took my bags and handed them to the cab driver who took them out and placed them in the trunk. I put on my coat and grabbed my clutch. I went to the front door and Jax followed with his fresh cup of coffee.

I got down the steps when the sky opened up. I closed my eyes to the invigorating feeling of rain cascading down my face. I decided to make a wish on the water: to keep Jax safe from harm. I didn’t make a wish for me this time, as his needs were greater than mine.

I knew standing out in the rain I must have looked like a fool, but I needed him to stay safe. I needed the peace of mind to know that even though I threw away a twenty year friendship that he would grow old and gray while happy.

“
What are you wishing for now?” Jax called out behind me, as the cab waited to leave.

“
I wished you a long, happy, and healthy life.” I yelled, as the sky roared to life. “Despite what you may think, I do love you. It just took a long time to figure it out.” I called out, as I went to the cab. As I got to the door, I threw my clutch inside. Drenched to the bone, I ran back up to the porch and wrapped my wet arms around Jax’s neck and hugged him to me. He wrapped his one free arm around me and hugged me back.

As I pulled back, I placed my lips on his. He resisted at first, but then kissed me back with one hand in my hair. That same spark of electricity came to life and my skin ran hot. When we pulled away, we were breathless, but full of goodbye.

“
I needed the good to go with the bad.” I muttered, and ran for the cab.≈