Whizz (10 page)

The need coursing round him had to be put to a stop. Sunshine was the last woman he should want, yet she was the one woman who plagued his thoughts. He was screwed either way.

Chapter Five

Whizz sat in the chair beside the bed. Lacey was still sleeping¸ and he couldn’t bring himself to wake her. Last night after they’d fucked, she’d broken down in the shower. He couldn’t believe he had to break a lock in order to get to her. Resting his elbows on his knees with his chin on his palm, he stared at her. He tried to make her understand, but he didn’t know if she even heard him when he talked about the Savage Brothers. It wasn’t her fault, none of it was. She’d been part of a club who’d been intent on causing problems in order to get their revenge.

Her eyes no longer looked red and puffy. For once she looked at peace, which was something, considering the pain she’d been in the night before. It didn’t take a genius to realize that she was still hurting from the memory of the Savage Brothers. Even before she started talking he’d known exactly what was wrong with her.

Getting to his feet, Whizz left the room, closing the door behind him. Rose was coming out of the room looking sad. Her red hair hadn’t been brushed, but she looked ready to snap at a moment’s notice. She glanced at him.

“Please don’t wake him.”

“Are you leaving?” Whizz asked, walking beside her. They both had a partner they didn’t want waking up.

She shrugged. “I don’t know anymore.”

The rest of the clubhouse was still asleep. They stepped into the kitchen. Whizz moved toward the coffee machine as Rose took a seat at the counter. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her brushing her red hair. The length went down to her back, long and luscious. “Have you and Lacey made up?” Rose asked.

“I don’t know. We were doing okay, and then, I don’t know if you heard,” he said, pulling two cups down from the cupboard.

“I heard you making up.”

“She broke down in the shower afterward. I feel close to her, and then something snaps inside her, and she withdraws from me.” He leaned against the counter, looking at her.

“It sounds to me like she’s still hurting.”

“What about you?” he asked.

Rose looked up at him. He’d always thought Rose was a beautiful woman when she was fully made up with makeup. The woman before him even vulnerable was totally breathtaking. Why did she wear makeup when she didn’t need it?

“I don’t know about me anymore.”

“Ten years ago Hardy made a mistake.”

Tears filled her eyes as she looked at him. “I know how long ago it was. For so long we’ve been happy. I think we’ve been happy, but I don’t know anymore.” She stared down at the brush in her hand. He was used to seeing Rose smile. This side to her was scary, depressing, and it tore at his heart to see her so sad. Rose was part of the club. He wasn’t in love with her, but he did care about her.

“Is it because of the kids being born?” Whizz asked. “Are they a reminder of what you can’t have and what you’ve lost?”

“Wow, the boys really weren’t lying about you, were they? Since you were taken you don’t beat around the bush.” He went to apologize, but she held her hand up, stopping any apology he would have said. “Don’t bother to say anything. It’s true. You’ve gotten hard since Alan. Everyone sees it.”

Whizz wished he could dispute what she said. He was a different man, a darker man than he ever thought possible. Cutting off the memory of torturing the man Gonzalez had sent to kill Eva, he forced himself to focus on Rose. He’d lost a part of himself with Alan. There was no way for him to ever get that back. This was the man he’d turned into.

“I love kids. Seeing the girls’ happiness has not affected my own. I can share their happiness with them. I think Hardy and I have been hiding from the truth. If it was just a case of us moving on from what happened, it would have been different. I didn’t move on.” She was frowning, staring off into space as she talked. “I changed who I was. He didn’t change himself.” She licked her lips, putting the brush onto the table. “I wasn’t the kind of woman who took her clothes off while dancing for the whole club to see.” The tears that had been filling her eyes stumbled down her cheeks. “My life was filled with books, cooking, boring mundane crap that Hardy thought was cute. I was a virgin when he claimed me.”

“I thought you hung around the club. I thought you were a sweet-butt.”

“I did hang around the club, but I was with a sweet-butt who has since moved on. She stayed around, fucked several of the men, but Hardy caught sight of me and I never looked at anyone else. Hardy’s always been like that for me.” She shook her head. “We were young, and I was a fucking idiot. All he ever had to do was ask me for anything and I gave it to him. I never made him work hard for me. He had that ability. I don’t know if every woman was like that. He was the first man I fell in love with.”

“Are you going to leave him?”

“I don’t know.” She started to fiddle with the brush. “I think I need to, but then I worry.”

Whizz didn’t say anything as she went silent in between thoughts.

“I love him. I really do, and I hate what we’re going through. I wake up, and I think, this day will be different. I can go back to pretending and forgetting, and then I look at him or he’ll say something. It doesn’t have to be relevant, and the memories come. I’m pulled back to that moment I realized the man I loved was fucking another woman. I wish there was something I could do or say to stop what’s happening to us, but I can’t.” She tucked some of her red hair behind her ear. Her blue eyes blurred with tears. “I don’t know if I can keep pretending to be something I’m not. This woman you all know, it’s not me. It has never been me.”

“You need to do what’s right for you.”

“The club is my life.”

“Then find a way to forgive him or a way to move on. Your life isn’t over, Rose. You’re a beautiful woman. Give him a chance to love the woman you once were.” Whizz poured them both a coffee. “Just out of curiosity did you wear glasses?”

Rose chuckled, wiping the tears from under her eyes. “I was the kid who wore glasses, braces—you name it, I had it. When I met Hardy, the braces were long gone. I wear contacts now.” She shrugged.

“I’m not going to tell you what to do, Rose. The club loves you. You’re part of us, and I hope you never turn your back on us.”

“I won’t.” She reached over, touching his hand. “Thank you, Whizz.” She stood up, grabbing a portable cup. “I’m going to go to the spa to clear my head. I’ve got some decisions to make. Please, don’t tell Hardy where I am.”

“He loves you,” Whizz said.

“I know. He refuses to give me any space, and I need it.” She walked out of the kitchen, leaving him alone.

Whizz didn’t know how long he sat there before Gash made his way into the kitchen. He looked like he’d spent the whole night partying and not enough time sleeping. “Fuck, I feel awful.”

“That’s what you get for drinking all night.”

“Raven’s been keeping me company. I swear she’s got a pussy that’s never satisfied. I’m starting to think you need to share her in order to give her what she really wants.” He poured himself a cup of black coffee, no sugar or milk. “Everyone else asleep?”

“Rose just popped out. She’s gone to the spa, but she doesn’t want Hardy to know.”

“I remember them being so fucking solid. I tell you, it shocks me to see them struggling and I’ve been inside for five years. Everything has changed while I’ve been gone. Lash is settled with a good woman, too damn good for him. Nash became an addict. Tiny finally married Eva. Wherever I turn new shit is going down.” Gash took a sip, wincing. “Fuck, that shit’s horrible.”

“I can’t make coffee.” Whizz took a sip, used to his brew.

“I was hoping Angel was up. She cooks the best food.”

Stink walked into the room next followed by Sandy. The two were inseparable nowadays. Sandy didn’t want to sleep with the club, and Stink had offered to keep her within his room without hitting on her. Stink was in love with Sandy, who had been a club whore up until she was hurt. Whizz knew the man would do anything to claim her as his own. She’d stopped sleeping with the men a couple of years ago, but Stink hadn’t made his move.

“What are you doing today?” Whizz asked.

“I’m sticking around the club. Tiny’s asked for me to wait before I take out my revenge.” Gash shrugged. “I’ve got no choice but to wait for the bitch to pay.”

“Whatever Tiny says is usually right,” Sandy said, sitting beside him as Stink grabbed a coffee for himself.

Prue rounded the corner carrying Markus on her hip. Frowning, Whizz looked at Prue then at Markus. “You’ve all got dirty minds. I passed Killer and Kelsey’s room. I heard her throwing up, and Markus was screaming. Killer needed some help, and I adore this little guy.” Prue pressed a kiss to the boy’s cheek. “Seriously, I’m in love with Zero. You’re all dirty bastards.”

“I didn’t think anything about it,” Sandy said, holding her hands up in surrender.

Whizz was already laughing. He loved winding Prue up. She was adorable when she was angry.

“I’m going to head out to see Butch,” Whizz said, finishing his coffee off. “I’ve told Lacey she can move around the club. If she wakes before I get back will you show her around?” He directed his question at Prue.

“Sure thing. Angel and I have plans today to do a little shopping. We’ll take Lacey with us, if you want?” Prue said.

“Sure.” Whizz opened his wallet pulling out several large notes. “Here, make sure she buys whatever she needs.” He gave the money to Prue.

“Will do. Say hi to Butch for me.”

No one else said anything else as he made his way out of the clubhouse. The rest of the club was starting to wake up as he exited the building. The air was chilly as they were getting into fall. It wouldn’t be long for the Halloween celebrations, Thanksgiving, and then Christmas. He wondered what would happen this Christmas with everything that was going on within the club.

Straddling his bike, he turned the key, firing up his bike. He drove out of the clubhouse, heading toward the hospital. It had been well over a week since he last saw Butch, and it was time he went to see his friend. When he’d first found out about his connection to the Savage Brothers he’d felt betrayed. In the days that had since passed, Whizz saw the predicament that Butch had gotten himself into. He wished there was something he could to help the other man.

The ride to the hospital was smooth without any problems. It was first thing in the morning, yet it was busy. He parked his bike, paid for the space, then entered the hospital. Several nurses on the front desk stopped to look at him. Whizz ignored them. He’d heard of the pussy that wanted to get close to The Skulls.

He went to the elevator and pressed the button to Butch’s floor.

Holding his hands in front of him, he stepped out of the elevator then followed the long corridor until he made it to the room. Butch lay alone, pointing a remote up at the screen. Whizz stayed silent as he looked at his friend. Butch looked alone, and he hated seeing that. The Skulls were a family.

He fucked up.

Butch had fucked up, but he was still a Skull. It was going to be a long road to bring the trust back, but Whizz knew it was possible. All that had happened was the wrong shit had gone down at the wrong time.

Knocking on the window, he got Butch’s attention. He noticed Butch tensed in the bed. Was he waiting for someone to take a shot at him? Had they all fucked up to the point to leave him scared?

Opening the door, Whizz stood in the doorway. “Are you in the mood for a visit, sir?”

Butch laughed. “Nah, it’s good to see someone.”

“What about Cheryl and Michael? I’m sure they’ve been paying regular visits,” Whizz said, closing the door. He walked into the room, opening the curtain to let some light into the private room.

“They’re here all the time. Michael needs to go to nursery, and Cheryl has the shop to look after.”

“None of the other Skulls stopped by?”

“No. I don’t mind. I understand.” Butch placed the remote on the bed.

“You thought I was a hit.” Whizz didn’t pose it as a question.

“I fucked up.”

“Tiny said you did enough to make sure you didn’t die.”

“Cheryl told me she had to blackmail you all.” Butch stopped talking to put a hand to his neck. He’d almost died. If it wasn’t for Cheryl, Butch would probably be dead. “I fucked up, and I deserved to be killed for my actions.”

“You keep saying that.”

“I know. I did, and now I’ve got to pay the price.”

“Tiny won’t go back on his word. You paid the price in giving us the club.”

Butch looked doubtful. “It won’t be seen like that. I didn’t care about dying that day, Whizz. I only cared about putting right what I did wrong. I fucked up. Royally fucked up.”

There wasn’t anything Whizz could say. Butch was right. It was too little too late, but he had to believe in the club.

“I heard they got the Savage Brothers. Cheryl told me you wouldn’t let them take Lacey?”

“She’s the woman I was with while the mess was going on. I couldn’t lose her.”

“I told her to stay away from you.” Butch ran a hand down his face. He looked old, withdrawn, and sad. “I didn’t want her to hurt you, and yet you got hurt anyway.”

“I’m not going to let anything happen to her. I can’t let her go.”

“Do you love her?” Butch asked.

“I don’t know. I don’t know if I love her, but I know I don’t want to lose her.” Whizz took a seat in the corner as Butch turned the television off.

“You’re not angry with what I did.”

“When it first happened I was pissed. I was so angry and hurt by what I thought of as your betrayal. It wasn’t as bad as I first thought, but people died because of it. I know what happened. Lacey told me, and Cheryl told us the rest. You should have come to us. They were idiots for keeping it a secret.”

“They’re all dead now.”

“Yeah.”

“How’s Lacey doing?”

“There are times I think she’s handling it. Then there are other times she looks like she is falling apart.” Whizz sat back in the chair, taking in Butch’s form.