he doesn’t see me right way.” She fingered the bracelets on her arms just to keep
her trembling hands busy as they made their way through town. Being the ever awesome
best friend that she was, Abigail placed her hand into Harley’s as reassurance poured
off of her in waves.
“Harley, it’s going to be okay. I promise. I’m here with you, and I won’t let him
hurt you
anymore. You got it?” Harley smiled but couldn’t let an agreement fall from her mouth.
She’d like to think this was going to be an easy day, but she didn’t believe in the
idea at all.
The rest of the trip was quiet, leaving Harley alone with her thoughts. Would Mason
see
her right away when they got there? Would they hug? Would he kiss her? Hell, would
he call her by her name or the dreaded nickname she hated to love. She had no idea
what to expect, but at least she’d have Abigail there with her.
They were late as always. The preacher was spouting off a prayer as they slipped into
the
back pews of the funeral home. Harley’s eyes immediately took flight as they went
in search of a familiar blond head of hair. She told herself she wasn’t going to be
obvious, but she couldn’t help it. She had to see him, any portion of him. She needed
her fill.
Seconds later, her eyes hit their intended target just three, short rows ahead. Harley
exhaled, taking in the backside of his suit coat and grinned like a fool when he ran
his fingers through his extra-long hair. Wow, it was so girly and pretty. Oh what
she would do to run her fingers through it again?
The preacher droned on about living a life after death and being one of God’s chosen
ones or something to that religious affect, but Harley couldn’t focus, couldn’t even
breathe for that matter. Her heartbeat was racing at killer heart attack speeds, and
she was ready to call it a day that is until Abigail leaned her head onto her shoulders.
Dammit, she couldn’t leave now. Her eyes found the door. It’d be too obvious! She
took
in the large crowed. She’d be too loud. She bit her cheek as resolve washed over her.
She was there for Maisy. She had to remember that, even if she was terrified of seeing
Maisy’s
brother
again.
Then again, maybe he didn’t know she was coming! Maybe he’d be pissed that she did!
Shit, what if he had a new girlfriend and she was there too? The panic started to
rise along with the bile in her throat. This was a mistake. She had to get out of
there!
She scooted away from Abigail, grabbing her wristlet. She was ready to dart, no matter
what eyes followed her.
“No, don’t even think about it, Harley Ann. It’s too late,” Abigail gripped a hand
over her bouncing knee as she lifted he head. She was wearing that evil eye, the one
that said she was all business.
Damn, she was stuck.
Harley sighed, slouching low into the pew. She was right. “He already knows you’re
here, Har,” Abigail growl-whispered between her teeth. “Look!”
Mason’s name left the minister’s mouth. The sound practically echoed in slow motion
as
Harley stared straight ahead. She gripped the ends of her dress. Every part of her
body went still.
Her breath, her heart, her eyes, even the nervous twitch of her jaw went slack. Mason
was there standing at the podium with his eyes directly locked onto her face.
A whole ten seconds passed by and their lingering stare down still continued. His
mom
whispered Mason’s name as the minister cleared his throat. Abigail even slugged Harley
in the ribs, but the moment could not be broken. It was like they had become a part
of a movie scene with that moment when the guy and girl reconnect, when emotions are
so high and feral that
even a dead body couldn’t keep the awareness between the couple away.
Unlike a movie, this was real life, and Mason, to her complete disbelief, was the
first to
look away.
It wasn’t for long…
“Hi, everyone. Thanks for coming here today. My grandfather would have been very
happy knowing so many of his friends and family came to celebrate his long and wonderful
life.”
Her throat was dry. She couldn’t breathe again! She couldn’t do this. She gripped
the
back of the pew in front of her, planning her quick escape. Yeah, she was definitely
chickening out.
“My grandfather taught me a lot in life. He taught me how to tie my first pair of
shoes; he taught me how to ride a bike. Heck,” he laughed, the sound sent warmth up
her spine, and she shuddered. “He even taught me how to mac on the ladies.”
Everyone laughed at that tidbit, even Harley, although hers came out more like a nervous
hyena than anything. Leave it to Mason Daniel. Only he could make people laugh at
a funeral.
“The most important thing he taught me, the one thing that will always stick with
me no
matter what, was how to love. He taught me to love with every single piece of emotion
you’ve got tucked inside.” He pounded on his chest, and their eyes locked once again.
The room
practically spun, tilting Harley on its axle, but she held on tight to her chair,
determined not to let his beautiful wet eyes get to her.
“I lost someone I loved not too long ago, and when I told my grandfather about her,
he
ended up smacking me upside the back of my head. I think he even left a bruise,” he
smiled
lovingly, as he rubbed the back of his neck.
Do not swoon. Do not swoon.
Mason smiled and shook his head. His grin was breathtaking as always, and Harley knew
it was meant for her and nobody else. She could almost feel the thing on the inside
of her heart, burrowing deeply.
Too late... she’d totally just swooned again.
“He told me that when you find a love like that, then you should never let it go,
no matter what,” his smile fell as he glanced out towards the crowd, fully refocusing
on Harley’s face just a second later. It was almost as if she was his makeshift beacon
of light. She shuddered, and Abigail tightly grabbed her hand and held on but didn’t
say a word,
“And that was by far the best piece of advice I’d ever been given in my eighteen years.”
He stared hard at Harley. His hands trembled as the gripped the podium.
It was as if they were locked into a room together without a single drop of air to
breathe.
Abigail whistled out a low menacing sound, breaking Harley’s gaze, but only temporarily.
Yes indeed, it was just like she feared.
She was still, by far, head over heels in love with him. Crap.
“My grandfather will not be a lonely man up in Heaven, I can tell you all that much!
He’ll have my father and my grandmother too. I can almost betcha that they’re already
having a big blowout to celebrate his arrival.”
Her stupid tears! How could they possibly come so quickly? Her face was flooded with
them!
“So please, don’t cry tears of heart ache today for my grandfather because I’m sure
that
there is no other place else in the world that he would rather be right now anyways.”
He pointed to the ceiling before looking down at the podium; his own tears escaped
his eyes making him the most beautiful hypocrite she’d ever seen.
“Holy shit balls, Har. You didn’t tell me surfer boy was a damned poet. What else
did
you keep from me about that lover boy?” Abigail leaned over, whispering into Harley’s
ear as Harley dried her eyes.
Usually, she’d be screaming at Abigail for her crude attitude in a place like this,
but today it was going in one ear and out the other. She swallowed but stayed still,
unblinking as she watched Mason slowly move back to his seat.
Wow, he was just … amazing.
Once the service ended, Harley and Abigail followed the procession of cars to the
cemetery. Mason’s grandfather must have been a truly popular guy because there were
at least fifty cars trailing behind the main limo that held his casket. Harley had
never met him, but she was sure she would’ve liked him, especially hearing Mason’s
words of endearment.
Once they arrived, Harley’s hesitation was back eating away at her stomach, heart,
and
head once again. All other thoughts went by the wayside as they parked and started
to get out of the car. Her hands were frozen to the door handle as if her life depended
on it, but good old Abigail finally made her way over to yank the door open. She crouched
down in front of Harley, gripping her shoulders as Harley managed to slip her feet
onto the gravel road.
“Nope, don’t you dare even think it, Har. You
will
get your boney ass out of this car, and you
will
follow through with this. I did not agree to come here knowing that you’d chicken
out at the last minute. Besides, you have to do this for Maisy at least.”
Harley nodded, holding her chin high as she stood to get out. She smiled over at Abigail,
but it didn’t reach eyes. Hey, it was a start at least.
Her heart throbbed as her hands shook, but Jesus, this had to be done! There would
be no
more backing down and no more giving up. She could do this, totally and completely.
No more panicking, and no more worrying. She had turned over a new leaf four months
ago, and she was damn sure going to stay right side up.
As they approached the gravesite, arms linked and shoulders huddled close, Harley
stared
up at the gloomy sky, noting that the rain had finally quit falling. The clouds still
held an ominous glow to them, and she shivered, pulling her sweater tight to her throat.
She swallowed while unconsciously grabbing at her neck.
The tent covering the gravesite was large enough to shelter a few people from the
remaining droplets of rain but not large enough from the entire group. Harley would
have rather stood away from the crowd anyways. That way she wouldn’t be tempted to
go near Mason.
Maisy and her mom sat off to the right of the casket sobbing as they held onto each
other.
Harley dropped a hand over her mouth, struggling to keep her own tears tucked behind
her lids, but it was proving to be a difficult task the longer the service went on.
She’d never even met the man, but it was just the principle. No matter what, death
would always hurt the living more than the dying.
She shut her eyes needing to erase the image of the last funeral she attended.
Aiden lying still with his hands upon his stomach. His face so covered in make-up
that it
was almost unrecognizable. Harley had clung to his hand as she walked by his literal
death bed.
To this day, the cold sensation of his fingers in hers made her skin tingle with unease.
Each day, it was getting easier to remember though … and easier to forget too.
She looked down, shaking the moment from her head. She lifted her head back up, only
to refocus … on Mason. Her breath hitched as she gazed at his hovering form standing
just to the right of his family. He looked as if he was trying to disappear. His face
was void of emotion. She could definitely relate to that. His head was down as he
fingered an object within his hands. She had only seen him minutes before, but out
in the open he appeared even more gorgeous then
she’d remembered, if that was even possible.
His skin held a brown tint to it as if he’d been living his days in the sun. His hair
was
more blond than brown. Her toes curled against her flip flops at the site, the dampness
causing them to squeak, but it was unnoticeable to everyone but her. She gripped the
side of her chair, physically restraining herself from running to him. He actually
looked like a true surfer boy.
She could almost feel Abigail’s questioning glare on her skin. Harley turned to her,
nodding in reassurance. She was okay, and yet she wasn’t.
A few more words were spoken, and before she even realized it, the graveside services
were over. Short but sweet, just the way a funeral should be. Abigail stood next to
Harley, but Harley couldn’t move. Her body was glued to her chair.
“Come on, Har. Let’s do this,” she replied softly, placing a hand on Harley’s shoulder.
She attempted to pull Haley up into a standing position, but failed miserably when
Harley shook her head in defiance. She knew that if she got up, she would most likely
have to meet up with Mason somewhere along the way.
Fate seemed to be against her plans though, just as Maisy came barreling over instead.
Harley whipped her chin up, noting right away that she hadn’t come alone. A very nervous,
jaw clenching Mason was in toe.
She stiffened. No … yes! Oh sweet baby Jesus, what the hell was she going to do now?
“Oh my God, you guys came! You actually came! Thank you so much. It means the
world to know that you are here for us.” Maisy, of all people, had somehow managed
to get her up on her feet. She bounced her knees and clapped her hands with each and
every word she spat out in excitement. Then she wrapped Harley in a hug. Her arms
were tight as Maisy pulled her horrendously close.
Harley stifled a giggle. Who knew such a little thing could be so mighty!
Harley’s smile faded as she leaned back. She had a feeling like a rock had been pounded
into her chest when she noticed once more that Mason’s body still lingered over his
sister’s shoulder. His eyes, as intense as ever, were planted on Harley’s face. Harley
flushed red and blinked, refocusing on Maisy and her over exaggerating hands.
“Of course we came, Maisy. You mean a lot to us,” Abigail filled in for her. Good
thing
too because Harley had no words.
“God, this has been one of the worse days of my life. I’m so glad it’s over.” Maisy
pulled
back completely, looking between Harley and Abigail. Suddenly she spun around and
then
grinned back knowingly at Harley a second later after her gaze left her brother’s
face. She leaned in close, whispering into Harley’s ear, “He’s dying to see you, Harley.
Please don’t leave without saying goodbye at least. It would crush him.”