Hundreds of tiny crickets had taken up shop in his stomach jumping like wild beasts,
torturing and tickling him at the exact same time. God, there was no doubt in his
mind at that point that he was madly and desperately in love with her.
He moved even closer, just near enough to grab her cold hand. He brought it to his
lips
and kissed the hell out it, marveling in the softness of her fingers which were alarmingly
cold.
He had to keep looking over at the monitors to count her heartbeats, just to make
sure she was still with him. Shit, he’d never been this paranoid before!
He shook his head as he sat down next to her brushing a hand over her forehead, noting
how her normally paled skin looked even whiter than before. Her tiny freckles were
so adorably cute, standing out more than ever on her cheeks.
Tubes hung precariously from her nose and chest. They rose and fell in tune with her
breaths. Uncharacteristic tears fell from Mason’s eyes he leaned forward to kiss the
enormous welt that covered her forehead. So much for fighting his sobs. He counted
fifteen stiches total across her head, and he traced the edges with his fingertips
before pulling back.
“What are you doing here, Mason?” He jumped, cringing in pain as he moved towards
the head of her bed. He lowered his hand on the table to stay balanced. Slowly, he
turned around to face Mrs. Anderson, fearful of her reaction to his battered face.
Like expected, she squeaked, throwing her hand over her mouth. “Oh, my God. What
happened to your face, Mason? Do
you
need a doctor? I’m going to go get one right now! You wait here, young man.” Before
Mason had a chance to stop her, she was out the door, and papers from the bedside
table fell in her wake.
In her place sat Harley’s brother, his eyes narrowed, his chin tucked into his chest.
Mad
rage was evident on his face the longer he stared up at him, but Mason shook it off.
He didn’t blame David for feeling that way. Shit, he was actually kind of glad that
the dude beat the crap out of him. It was a good wakeup call. It showed Mason just
how much of a worthless piece of crap he’d most definitely become.
“I’m sorry, Mason, about what happened, but you shouldn’t be here. You’re the reason
she wound up here in the first place.” His words were true, but they hurt. His throat
was terribly close to shutting down from his choking tears.
“There’s nothing going on between me and that Kylee girl. You need to know that, and
Harley does too when she wakes up and stuff, alright? Please?” David’s eyes narrowed
even
more as Mason gestured towards Harley’s form.
David didn’t answer, but he did nod once.
Good. Maybe he’d pass along the message after all.
He limped carefully back towards the head of her bed, thankful that David had chosen
not
to go all postal on his ass again. Carefully and painfully, he leaned over to kiss
her forehead once more, smiling as the warmth of her head heated his chilled lips.
He closed his eyes as he inhaled her strawberry scent once more. His lips tingled
as he held them there, taking in this one last moment for his own selfish purposes
It could have been minutes or hours that passed. Hell, he didn’t know, nor did he
even
care that her brother hovered angrily nearby growling at him under his breath. Walking
away from Harley was going to be an impossible feat, so he had to take what little
he could with him.
How was he going to be able to stay away from the one thing that made sense in his
now
senseless life?
With his balled up hand carefully tucked at his side, he finally found the strength
to pull his lips away from her face although his heart protested immediately. David
be damned, he was going to get in his goodbye though. “I’m so sorry, baby,” he whispered
to her, his tears fell at an alarming rate against his cheeks. “I love you so, so
much.” When the words came out, choking him, scaring him, he literally lost every
tear he’d been holding onto for six months.
Why hadn’t he said those words to her sooner? Oh yeah, that’s right. He didn’t deserve
to
hear them back.
Reluctantly Mason examined the steady rise and fall of her chest once more, just to
be
sure that she was going to be okay. He turned, completely terrified at the prospect
of what was to come next just as David reached for the sleeve of his sweatshirt.
Mason looked down at his hand, but not his face. “Mason, I’ll take care of her, but
you
have to stay away. Forever. You’re no good for her.” Mason swallowed hard and nodded.
Yeah, he knew this, even if it killed him.
“Just tell her…”
That I love her. That I will always be with her. No matter what.
“Tell her to get better.” Mason nodded. He knew what she needed. Mason didn’t.
She was in that bed because of him. He’d never get beyond the guilt of that. It was
just
like the guilt that he harbored over his father’s death, so he didn’t need a lecture
to know the truth. Everyone who loved Mason always ended up leaving him or getting
hurt by him, and if he wanted Harley to have a chance at living her life normally
without any more heartbreak and pain, then he had to walk away and never look back.
Shit. It was going to hurt like a son of a bitch.
***
Tears glistened in his eyes like tiny little icicles that were melting away from his
lids.
Fear was a bitch, and Harley was filled with it as he leaned over her and kissed her
head. This
felt too much like a goodbye. Why was he telling her goodbye? He just told her he
loved her,
hadn’t he? She loved him too. She needed him to know that, but her throat was closed.
No words
could leak out.
She knew he didn’t cheat on her. She had always known. She only wished she could have
said something sooner. Then this mess wouldn’t be happening.
With one last sad glance, Mason turned on his heels and slowly made his way to the
door. Dread washed over her, and she clung to the edges of her sheets. Still, no words
left her
mouth. She was frozen, as if her body had become paralyzed and stuck in an alternate
universe
where moving and talking wasn’t possible.
Mason looked back over his shoulder once more and was gone as she blinked away her
final lingering tears.
Why was he leaving? He couldn’t leave. If he walked out that door, she knew without
a
doubt that he wouldn’t be back.
“Shh, sweetheart, you’re okay. Please don’t cry. Your daddy and I are here.” Harley
opened her eyes taking in the hovering, tear-filled face of her mother. Her hands
shook as she brought them to Harley’s face, rubbing away the wetness that had found
a home upon her
cheeks. Good, it was just a nightmare.
“Mom?” Harley replied, pushing up on the bed to sit up straighter. Dizziness
consumed her vision forcing her to lower her head back down onto the pillow.
Her eyes were scratchy like sandpaper. How long had she been asleep? She forced them
open completely, cringing as the fluorescent hospital lights beamed menacingly down
at her.
With her head pounding and her throat feeling as if it had been lit with straight
up fire,
Harley slowly raised her hand to feel the itching, pulling sensation against her forehead.
Stitches.
Nice. That’s also when the memories struck.
Not everything was a cut and dry, but the basics were. That was enough to know that
Harley had, once again, screwed up.
The pills and downing drink after drink until everything around her ceased to exist.
Mason, that girl, crap. Her insides twitched with anxiety. Her heart continued to
ache.
Jesus, what had she done?
“We were so worried about you. God. Please, Harley Ann, don’t ever do anything like
that again!” Her dad reached down, clutching one of her hands between both of his.
“Daddy, where’s David and Abigail?” she croaked, ignoring his obvious disappointment.
Her voice was barely even a whisper. She lifted her free hand, rubbing the front of
her neck in an attempt to soothe the scratchy ache inside.
“They’re out in the lobby with a couple of your other friends, sweetie,” her dad sighed.
His voice was gentle and soft compared to his normal gruff.
Her mom reached over and spooned out a few ice chips from a nearby cup, bringing them
to Harley’s mouth. Harley accepted them, mouth open wide, as she marveled in the coolness
that dripped down her throat.
“
What about Mason? Is
he
here?” Her heartbeat tripled. Her dream, was it real? Had he really left her for
good?
“No, sweetheart. He’s not…” The corners of her mother’s mouth turned down. Her entire
face whispered secrets that apparently her mouth didn’t seem to want to share.
“Well, was he here earlier, at least? Something happened last night between us, and
I
kind of overreacted about it,” she swallowed, messing with a loose thread at the neck
of her hospital gown. “We had had a fight, kind of, and I have to let him know that
everything’s okay now. It’s important that he knows that I’m not mad at him. Can I
just, like, call him? Please?”
Harley’s pleading voice turned frantic as she gaped between her parents’ stoic faces.
Her mom cleared her throat. Her eyes were hooded, dark, and fearful. What was she
scared of, Harley cracking? Falling apart? Hell, if they didn’t tell her soon, then
she’d do just that!
“He was here, honey, right after you arrived but then had to leave again. I’m sorry.”
“Well, I’ve got to call him. Did he go home? Where’s my cell?” Harley looked towards
her dad, bypassing her mom altogether. He’d be the first to give in.
“No. It’s not possible. You need to sleep. I’ll have Abigail … phone him to let him
know
you’re awake,” her dad’s voice turned short and angry, not the dad reaction she’d
expected.
She gaped, and her mouth hung open as she watched him turn on his heels to leave.
The
door slammed in his wake, and she cringed. Her brows narrowed, and confusion swept
over her.
What were they hiding from her?
Harley glared over at her mother with accusing eyes. The same accusing words were
on
the tip of her tongue. David and Abigail took the opportunity away for Harley to question
her some more when they came crashing into the room together. She groaned at their
loud laughter, and David’s voice interrupted her angry thoughts.
“Well look at you, sis. You’re finally awake! How’re you feeling?” he wheeled to the
foot of her bed and patted her foot.
Extreme exhaustion plagued his eyes and dark lines hugged his lids. His smile, however,
was bright, too bright maybe.
“I’m okay. Tired and, um, feeling slightly hung over too, but okay.” Harley paused
to
look down at her hands. They were shaking. Why were they shaking?
“Your sister needs some rest, David. Let’s leave her until after lunch. The doctors
said we could take her home then.” She stared up at her mom again. The lady looked
absolutely
terrifying. “I’m glad you’re okay, honey, but you’re still in some serious trouble
when you get home. Drinking again. Jeez, Harley, you’re seventeen years old! What
were you thinking?”
Harley looked back down at her still trembling hands and shrugged. She wasn’t thinking.
She was stupid, dumb, and a fool, and stupid, dumb, foolish girls just didn’t think
– especially when they had newly broken hearts.
“But what about the other doctor, Mom? They said—”
“David, shut up, seriously.” Abigail stepped forward, and whacked David square in
his
chest. Harley cringed turning her head into the pillow. She knew exactly who David
was
referring to – the loony-bin doctor.
She’d been there, done that, and was so not cool with going there again. She wasn’t
suicidal, just stupid and clueless.
“I love you Har, and I’m not trying to be mean here. I just need to understand.” Harley
nodded. She needed to understand too. “Get some rest, and we will be back around three
to take you home.” Harley’s mom leaned down, brushing a matted curl from Harley’s
eyes. She kissed
her on the forehead.
Harley didn’t respond other than one curt nod of her head. She couldn’t talk. Her
insides
were too raw and too embarrassed over what she’d done.
David and Abigail might have said goodbye too, but Harley didn’t notice. She was too
lonely on the inside to be consoled by anyone on the outside.
Fifteen minutes after their exit, a nurse came in, and to Harley’s complete surprise,
she
was bogged down with the biggest bouquet of pink roses she’d ever seen. Her eyes widened.
There had to be at least four dozen there! The familiar fragrance filled her nose,
and a small smile graced her mouth. Only one guy gave her hot pink roses.
“Hi, glad to see you are finally awake, Harley. Can I get you some Tylenol for pain?”
“Yes, please. That’d be great, thanks.” Harley cleared her throat as she sat up, thankfully
without the nausea and dizziness this time. “Um, was there, like, a card or anything
that came with those?” She scrunched her nose, motioning towards the beautiful bouquet
that stretched across the windowsill. The nurse smiled and nodded, handing her a crisp
white envelope.
“Somebody must love you, honey, because those are absolutely beautiful.” Harley
blushed, but her smile widened as she impatiently ripped opened the seal. “I’m just
going to take your vitals, and then I’ll leave you be until the psychologist can come
down to speak with you, okay?”
Harley nodded too intrigued and curious with the written words to reply to the lady’s