When Faults Collide (Faultlines #1) (15 page)

“Okay, Asha, my concern isn’t that you aren’t having sex. It’s good that you aren’t rushing into sex. My concern is that you don’t seem to care one way or another, and he seems to be adamantly avoiding it as if it’s a fear of his. That’s my concern.” Katherine said, ripping off a piece of cinnamon roll.

“Why should I care? Shouldn’t the relationship be about the relationship?” I asked, confused as to why this was a problem.

“Of course, dear, but do you feel sexual attraction for him? Do you want to have sex?” she asked, meeting my eyes.

I shrugged. “I guess. I’m attracted to him. When he touches me, or kisses me...I feel sparks. Like, actual tingly sparks exploding on my skin. I’m not, however, pining for sex or trying to jump his bones.”

“You guess? Okay, how do you feel about the possibility of sex? Are you wanting to wait until your relationship progresses to a certain point? If this is a moral or ethics issue that’s fine. I’m just
trying to gauge your thinking.” She searched my eyes for answers.

“I really haven’t thought about it at all until you and Lily brought it up. I don’t see what the issue is. I don’t know how I feel. I haven’t thought about it. I don’t know if it’s moral or ethical.” I said, frustrated.

She shook her head and pursed her lips, shoving another piece of the pastry in her mouth.

“Why is that an issue, Katherine?” I asked.

“Because, dear girl, it tells me that you have compartmentalized sex away. I’ll make the assumption that it’s because of the way that sex was used with your mother and then your attack, you have never thought about sex as an act of love between two people. Yes, you know that’s what it is, but in your mind, you have compartmentalized it away and your mind has thrown up a wall of impassiveness about it. Blake, on the other hand, feels so violated by his attack that sex is terrifying to him. Which, ironically, makes him easier to treat because his mind is at least allowing him to have feelings about the matter.” She waved around a piece of cinnamon roll as she talked.

I frowned and looked down, wondering if she was right.

“The good news, dear, is that because you are in such a new relationship, and both of you are fine without it, we have plenty of time to deal with it. It doesn’t need to be addressed today,” she said, reaching out and squeezing my hand, reassuring me.

After we ended our session, I had some time before I needed to be at Shine, so I decided to text Blake and ask him if he wanted me to pick up and bring him dinner.

I bit the tip of my thumb and waited on his response.

I smiled as the waiter cleared off Katherine’s plate and my empty mug. I got up and left a tip sitting out before grabbing my bag and leaving, shooting Blake a response on my way out.

I rounded the corner, walking past a few pedestrians, making my way to the Greek place on the corner as my phone dinged again.

I smiled and put my phone in my bag before going in and buying two lamb gyros.

I drove down to Shine and got out, making my way through the alley, bag of gyros in tow. I knocked on the door and gasped in happy surprise when Blake flung the door open and picked me up, spinning me around.

I giggled as he sat me down, kissing the top of my forehead as he did.

“Hi,” I said shyly.

“Hello there. I’ve missed you today,” he said, pulling me into a
warm embrace.

He ushered me inside and we sat at the bar to eat.

He told me about his day; about the orders he had to put in, the bands and managers that he interviewed, and about getting set up for tonight.

I told him about my day, leaving out the “intimacy issues” talks with Lily and Katherine. We would talk about that later. There was no reason to ruin our evening.

He was more surprised than I had been about Lily moving out.

“Are you going to have to get another roommate?” he asked.

I shook my head, wiping away some yogurt sauce from the corner of my mouth. “No. My dad bought me my house as a graduation present. No rent. The utilities are fairly low, and no way I am putting myself through that. Lily is my best friend and it was still weird when we decided to live together. Bringing in a stranger would mean that I would have to explain my story, even part of it, to them...and I don’t do that. Other than on my blog, that is.”

He nodded in understanding and then grinned. “Well, I guess that leaves more time for us to hang then.”

I giggled and leaned in for a kiss. “Yes. Always time for you, handsome.”

He winked and then balled up the foil his gyro had come in, aiming and shooting it into the trashcan behind the bar.

The band was at the stage doing sound checks, so I checked my phone and realized it was 7:05. People were going to start arriving soon.

Blake gave me another kiss and then said he had to run into the office to finish up a few more things and asked if I would be okay.

I nodded and pulled out my phone to take a picture of the band setting up.

This was Mandy’s band, so I knew it was probable that she would be there. I pushed the thought out of my mind as people began to make their way in.

I stayed towards the sides and the back as the place filled up.

A few minutes before 8pm, Blake joined me and stood behind me, hands around my waist as the band set up to begin.

The music started and I clapped and cheered with the crowd. The band’s style was in the post hardcore/emo genre and they were good. Definitely raw talent, but a step above a garage band.

I snapped several pictures and Tweeted throughout the show, and when the show was almost over I could feel someone staring at me.

I looked around, knowing who I was going to find, and sure enough on the other side of the wall, opposite of me, stood Mandy. Her hands rested on her hips, her dull blonde hair pulled into a ponytail that swished as she turned away.

I went back to watching the band, putting my hands over Blake’s hands, which still rested on the front of my stomach.

The band thanked everyone for coming out and everyone cheered, myself and Blake included.

Blake rested his chin on my shoulder and whispered, “What did you think?”

“They’re good! Raw and unrefined, but not in a bad way. Like a diamond in the rough.”

He held me closer and sighed. “I agree.”

He kissed the side of my cheek and then went to go shake hands
with the band and finish up the last bit of paperwork so he could close it down.

As he made his way towards the band, Mandy rushed over towards him, shaking his hand, then I could see her talking with him and looking at him suggestively.

This bitch
.

When she put her hand on his arm and rubbed, he pulled his hand away. Not roughly, but still with enough impact that anyone with a brain would take a hint.

Of course, that’s not who we’re talking about here.

She put her hand on his back, and that was when I decided that she needed a brief reminder of who Blake was with.

I slid right in between them, wrapping my arm around Blake’s back, essentially blocking him from her.

“Hello, Mandy,” I said, making my voice as impassive as possible.

She pouted some and then said, “So, anyway, like I was saying Blake... call me anytime. I have a few other bands I’d love to bring by.”

Blake’s eyes darted between the two of us, and I’m sure he could see the contempt behind my eyes.

“Uh huh,” he responded towards Mandy, wrapping his arm around my back at the same time.

“Blake has work to do, Mandy. Did you need anything else?” I asked innocently.

She huffed and then turned around and stormed off.

Blake leaned in. “What’s up with that?”

I rolled me eyes. “Long story. I’ll tell you later.”

He chuckled. “Okay, baby.”

Blake finished up his work while the cleaning crew and other managers closed down the main room. We all left at the same time
and Blake said goodbye to everyone.

We headed back to the house separately, since we had both taken our own cars, and met on the porch.

He pulled me into a warm embrace, which I welcomed. There was nothing better than this, I was sure of it. The pull that our bodies made towards each other was calmed in this embrace. All was right in the world when he held onto me.

He leaned down and kissed me, softly at first and then building into something more passionate. He moved his hand from top of my head down my back before reaching down and picking me up, my legs straddling his hips.

I giggled and he grabbed my key, unlocking my door, all while carrying me. He kicked the door closed and made his way up the stairs towards my room.

He tossed me down on the bed and then climbed on top of me, continuing to kiss me passionately.

As he ran his hand along my cheek I felt his hands shaking.

Not nervously, more like with fear.

This confused me, but the confusion didn’t last long when I suddenly felt his arousal through his pants and on my leg.

Suddenly I was terrified, and I had no idea why. My eyes flew open and I jerked back.

Our eyes met. He was shaking; I was shaking. We both breathed in and out, just staring at each other, finding our center and our comfort in each other.

We stared at each other for several minutes before our breathing calmed.

He laughed uncomfortably.

“Well, we sure are a pair, aren’t we?” he asked rather morbidly as he crawled up next to me and held me against his side.

Suddenly a giggle escaped me. Then it erupted into full blown, side aching laughter. He joined in and the next thing you know we were both laughing hysterically.

A tear fell down my cheek and I wasn’t sure if it was from the laughter or from the tragic case of our situation.

I opted to believe that it was from the laughter.

I slowly breathed out. “We are so fucked up.”

He leaned over me and held my face in his hands with a serious expression on his face, though I saw sadness in his eyes. “We are not. We have issues to deal with because of our messed up past.
We
are not what’s wrong...we are everything right.”

So we laid there, still in our clothes, not even bothering to get up and change. Everything was okay when we were together, everything was right.

I just didn’t want to let go.

Chapter Seventeen

“So what’s been going on with you, baby girl?” my dad asked.

“Lily’s moving out...she and Tom are getting married,” I said, biting my thumb nail as I held the phone to my ear.

“She is? Wow, that’s exciting! How are things going with this boy of yours?” he asked, with an undertone that said he was treading lightly.

“His name is Blake. Everything is good,” I said smiling.

“Hm. Well, it better stay good. I’ve got a pistol in the closet and it’s been too long since I’ve had a living target.”

“Dad! You stop!” I said, laughing.

There was definitely no pistol and I doubt he had ever even shot an air soft gun.

“I’ll never stop. It’s my job,” he stated seriously. “Besides, I missed enough years of protecting you. I’m certainly not going to let you down now.”

I gulped and tried to force myself not to cry.

“You know, Dad, sometimes I don’t even feel like any of it is real. That probably makes me sound crazy.”

“What do you mean, honey?”

“I don’t know. It was so long ago, and it was so completely different than my life here. Sometimes it feels like a big nightmare instead of my reality. Does that make sense?”

“It does. I think that’s your mind trying to make sense of it all. Have you looked at the box?”

“No, and I don’t plan to any time soon. Let it go,” I said firmly.

I had a box of my mother’s things in my closet that I had never looked through. It scared me to death to think of facing that. Nope, it was better buried in my closet. Unfortunately, Katherine and my dad liked to bring it up.

“Could I ask you a question though, Dad?”

“Sure, honey. What’s up?”

“Where did you get it? I mean, did you like, go into the chakala to get her things or did someone give them to you, or what?” I asked softly.

My dad gasped. I rarely asked any questions about my life there or mom, so I’m sure it took him off guard.

“No. I wouldn’t step foot in the door. I—I just couldn’t, Ash. I stood outside and a woman brought it down to me.”

“What woman?” I asked, curious.

“Oh, um...I can’t remember her name. She looked really rough. Bruises all over. Skinny,” he said uncomfortably.

“Bruises? Oh...Aati?”

“Um...yeah. That sounds right. Do you remember her?”

I began to pick at the thread of my jeans. Oh, did I remember.