What We Learned Along the Way (21 page)

Chris wasn’t the first person to see Aliya
with Harlem and assume she was a single parent. Aliya hated it. Why
couldn’t they assume she was a stay-at-home mom spending the day
with her child at the park?

“Oh, I’m not a single mother,” Aliya said.
“Actually, I not even a mother, not officially anyway. I’m engaged
to her father,” she said, holding up her other hand to show her
ring.

“Now that’s what I’m talking about. That’s a
real ring” the woman said. “Jada’s daddy tried to propose. He gave
me a ring and everything. It wasn’t anything like yours, but he
tried.”

“You didn’t accept?” Aliya asked.

“No, I couldn’t. Jada’s daddy’s not ready for
marriage. He’s got a lot of maturing to do before we start planning
anything.”

“In my relationship, I might be the one that
needs to do the maturing. My fiancé is great. I want to marry him,
but I get scared sometimes.” Aliya couldn’t believe she was opening
up to a complete stranger, but it felt good to be able to talk to
someone with an objective point of view, someone that didn’t know
Langston and how successful he was. Every time she tried to talk to
her friends about the situation, they made her feel crazy for
having doubts about marrying such a rich man.

“Got a job?” Chris asked.

“Yes.”

“Got a crazy baby mama?”

“No.”

“Does he cheat?”

“No.”

“Is he gay?”

“No.” Chris couldn’t think of anything else
that would make Aliya have second thoughts.

“Girl, he sounds good to me. What are you
scared of?”

“I just feel like I have such big shoes to
fill. Harlem’s mother died, but she was a really great woman. I’m
scared that I may not measure up. And, as of late, he’s really
religious, so I’m sure he wants me to be this Mother Teresa-type
wife. That’s a lot of pressure.”

“Are you a Muslim?” Chris asked.

“Yes,” Aliya said. She had to get used to
people knowing she was Muslim right off. It had been so long time
since she had covered.

“I saw that wrap on your head and figured you
probably were, but I wasn’t sure. I don’t know any Muslims.”

“Well, I’m glad I could be the first,” Aliya
told her.

“I don’t know what it’s like to be Muslim,
but my sister is the pastor’s wife, and it gets stressful for her
sometimes.”

“Really?” Aliya sounded interested.

“People are always watching her, waiting on
her to do something they can talk about. I remember one day we were
at a restaurant and she had on a sleeveless shirt. I didn’t think
it was a big deal, but her church is really conservative, so when
one of the members happened to see her, she had the nerve to say my
sister wasn’t dressed properly. Of course she didn’t say it to her
face. She waited until Sunday and told everyone at church. People
were talking about that for about a week. You know how nosy church
people can be.” Chris paused. “Well, maybe you don’t know, but
trust me. They are.”

“No, I know exactly what you’re talking
about. I think it’s like that in all religions, because I know my
fair share of nosy Muslims. I’m not that worried about what other
people think, though. I’m just worried about him. I’d hate for him
to marry me and not get what he’s expecting.”

“Put that down!” Chris yelled to Jada from
across the playground. She had picked up a fat worm and was showing
it to Harlem. Chris turned her attention back to Aliya. “Have you
asked him what he expects?”

“Not exactly, but I think I have a pretty
good idea,” Aliya said.

“Well, if you haven’t asked him, how can you
be sure you know what he wants? He’s probably a good guy. Just
relax. I think you’ll be okay.”

“I hope so,” Aliya said. She felt a little
better after talking to Chris.

After the park, Aliya and Harlem went to get
some ice cream. As they walked down the street toward the ice cream
shop, Aliya could feel people looking at her. She was used to
getting attention, but this was a different type. Usually, people
stared at her bright colors, wild hair and stylish and sometimes
provocative clothing. She knew now they were staring because of her
covering.

She remembered being little and wondering why
people stared at her mother so much. Harlem probably felt the same
way. All the stares weren’t bad. Some of the people seemed really
nice. They smiled, opened doors for her and commented on how pretty
she looked. Some people looked a little scared, like they had no
idea what she was doing with that thing on her head. Others looked
inquisitive, like maybe they wanted to ask a question, but weren’t
sure if they should. Either way, the attention took some getting
used to.

Now that she was engaged and wore a very
noticeable ring, she didn’t really have to worry about wife-seeking
Muslim men bothering her. When she was in high school, before she
stopped wearing hijab, men would approach her all the time, saying
they were looking for a pious woman for marriage. When she told
them she was only 14, they would usually leave her alone, but that
wasn’t enough for some. If she was in a silly mood, she would make
up elaborate stories about how she was already married to an
insanely jealous man that would kill anyone that tried to talk to
his wife. It was funny to see how quickly the men would walk
away.

As Harlem ate her ice cream, Aliya thought
about the conversation she had with Chris. Langston wasn’t a
judgmental person. In fact, he was very down to earth. She had just
been around so many strict, overbearing men, and she did not want
to go through that again. But there was no reason for her to assume
he would be that way, too. In the short amount of time that
Langston had been Muslim, he hadn’t changed much personality-wise,
but she couldn’t shake the feeling that one day he would.

“You’re phone’s been ringing like crazy,”
Langston said when Aliya took Harlem back home.

“Oh yea, my phone. I was halfway to the park
when I realized I had left it. It was too late to come back. Why
didn’t you answer?” she asked.

“It could have been one of your other men,
and I just didn’t feel like getting in any fights today,” Langston
joked.

Aliya shook her head. “Good thinking.”

“No, seriously, I was upstairs and didn’t
hear it. I just saw all the missed calls,” he confessed.

As she checked her call log, she saw she had
8 missed calls from Malikah, 10 from Mariam’s mother’s house and 2
from Jaime.

“Something must have happened,” she said to
Langston, and I wonder why Mariam’s mom is calling me. I hope she’s
okay,” she said, worried.

She picked up the phone to return the calls,
but it started to ring before she could dial. It was Malikah.

“Where have you been?” Malikah said. “I’ve
been calling like crazy.”

“I see that. What’s wrong?”

“He never told her!” Malikah blurted out.

“What are you talking about?” Aliya
asked.

“Rashad never told Mariam about Jaime’s
pregnancy. He lied to Jaime to get her off his back. The whole
thing came out yesterday. Now Rashad is MIA, Mariam is on a rampage
and Jaime is having a nervous breakdown. Oh yeah, and she had
twins.”

“What? Wait, slow down,” Aliya said.

“Just come over to my house. I’m on my way to
Mariam’s house to talk to her. I’ll wait for you.”

“Give me about 15 minutes,” Aliya said before
hanging up the phone and rushing toward the door.

“Where are you headed?” Langston asked when
he saw her in such a hurry.

“To see Mariam. I’ll explain later. Love
you,” she said quickly.

As she and Malikah drove to Mariam’s parents’
house, Malikah told Aliya as much of the story as she knew.

“Mariam and Rashad are in town and Mariam
found out the truth about Jaime’s babies.”

“What is she doing in town? And I thought she
already knew. Who told her? Where is Rashad now? What did Jaime
say?” Aliya had so many questions.

“We’ll have to find all that out when we get
there. All I know is that she’s outraged. She called me ready to
kill Rashad and Jaime. You know how calm Mariam usually is. I’ve
never heard her talk like that. Her mother had to take the phone,”
Malikah said.

“So he lied. I knew Mariam looked too happy
at that wedding. She was smiling too big to have just gotten that
kind of news. That’s a shame. I didn’t know Rashad would do
something like that. Have you talked to Jaime?”

“Barely. She called me last night, but she
was crying so hard I couldn’t understand a word she said. I’m sure
she feels horrible though. Can you imagine thinking everything is
okay and then finding out she never even knew? Poor Jaime. I feel
sorry for her, but she brought this on herself. She didn’t have no
business getting anywhere near Rashad.”

When they pulled up to the house, they sat in
the car a while.

“I’m kind of scared to go in,” Malikah said.
“I don’t know what to say.”

“We don’t have to say anything. Let’s just go
in and comfort her. I can’t even imagine what she’s going through.
She literally just got married and now this. Let’s just go in,”
Aliya convinced her. They knocked on the door. Mrs. Salaam
answered.

“As salaam alaikum, girls,” she said. “How
are you?” She forced a smile.

“We’re doing well. How is Mariam?” Aliya
asked.

“Not that well. She’s taking it pretty hard.
We all are. All this on top of what happened to Jihad is just too
much,” Mrs. Salaam said as she began to cry.

Aliya and Malikah gave each other confused
looks. They didn’t know anything had happened to Jihad. They wanted
to ask, but didn’t seem like the right time, so they just played
along.

“It’ll be okay,” Aliya said as she rubbed
Mrs. Salaam’s back.

“Look at me,” Mrs. Salaam said, “crying like
a baby. You girls have to excuse me. Mariam’s upstairs with Nadia.
You can go on up.” She wiped the tears from her face.

When Mariam and Aliya walked into the room,
Nadia was leaning over her sobbing sister. They didn’t want to
interrupt, so they stood in the doorway for a few minutes. Malikah
could feel the tears forming. She hated seeing Mariam like that.
Nadia finally noticed them. She smiled at them softly.

“Malikah and Aliya are here,” she said to her
sister. Mariam took her face out from under the blanket.

“Hey,” she managed to say between cries. She
quieted down for a minute before bursting into tears again. “I
can’t believe they did this to me!”

Aliya was trying to fight back the tears,
too. She had to be strong for her friend.

“Mariam?” she said. “I want you to know we’re
here for you, and no matter how much it hurts now, it will get
better.” She walked over and put her arm on Mariam’s back.

“Go ahead. Cry, scream, throw something if
you want. You have to be able to get it all out so you can
eventually start to heal,” Aliya told her.

To Mariam, there was no healing. Her brother
was on the brink of death and her husband was an adulterer. She
felt like her life was over. She stopped crying long enough to ask
her friends a question.

“Did you two know, about the babies I
mean?”

Aliya and Malikah looked at each other.

“Well, no. Not before the wedding anyway. By
the time we found it, the babies were practically here and we
thought you already knew,” Aliya said quickly.

“Yea,” Malikah added. “We weren’t trying to
keep a secret from you.”

“You thought I knew? Why would I marry him if
I knew?”

“We thought it sounded strange, but Jaime
told us you knew, and you know we couldn’t call you after you
moved,” Malikah defended herself.

“Jaime, that whore. I can’t believe she would
do that to me. She tries so hard to walk around all holier than
thou, all the while she was stabbing me in my back. I hate her,”
Mariam said with a scowl on her face. “I’ve never hated anyone in
my life, but I honestly hate her.” She said the words slowly and
deliberately.

Aliya told Langston the horrible story later
that night on the phone.

“Can you believe he didn’t tell her” she
asked in disbelief.

“Wow, that is pretty bad. I guess he panicked
because he didn’t want to lose Mariam,” Langston said.

“What do you mean you guess he didn’t want to
lose Mariam? He needs to lose her, keeping a secret like that. It
was bad enough that he got into the situation, but with her best
friend? And then to keep it a secret and still marry her? I can’t
believe you’re taking up for him.”

“I’m not taking up for him. I’m just saying I
know how hard it is to find a good woman. Once a man does, he’ll do
whatever he has to to keep her,” Langston explained

“Oh okay. That makes sense. Mariam is a good
woman, so it’s only natural that Rashad would impregnate her best
friend and then hide the pregnancy,” Aliya said sarcastically. “And
what do you mean it’s hard to find a good woman? There are plenty
of good women out there. The real problem is finding a good man.
You don’t know how many losers I had to go through to find
you.”

Langston laughed.

“Laugh it up, but I’m serious. Consider the
facts. For a black woman searching for a black man, the pool is
already small. Then subtract the married ones, the crazy ones, the
locked up ones, the gay ones, the gay but trying to play straight
ones, the dead beats and the cheaters, and we’re left with almost
nothing. Then add in the fact that he should Muslim on top of all
that. You practically end up with Mission Impossible,” she
said.

“I wasn’t Muslim when you met me.”

“I know, and at the time I didn’t care. But
I’m starting to regain my appreciation for Islam,” she said with a
smile.

“I see. I’ve noticed you’ve really been
embracing the religion lately. Seeing you make changes in your life
really inspires me. Baby, you’re what I need in my life and I know
it. That’s why I’ve been trying so hard to finalize this wedding
date. I don’t want to rush you, but I’m so ready to do this. I love
you,” he said.