Well-Tempered Clavicle (30 page)

Midrange returned to Dawn. “Meow!”

“A significant encounter? Where?”

Midrange led them to a path through the forest. “Mew.”

“In five minutes? We’ll be ready.” They settled down to wait.

A young woman with a flowery basket came down the path. She wore a hood that shaded her face, full clothing, and shiny boots. The skeletons quickly faded into the background, knowing that they were too likely to spook an innocent living person, while Dawn and the pets held their ground. “Hello.”

The woman saw her. “Oh, hello. I’m Adora. Are you looking for food for you and your animal friends?”

“Yes, as it happens,” Dawn agreed, quickly introducing herself as Dawn and the pets. “How did you know?”

“No one comes here without an appetite, because this is where the best reci peas grow.”

“Recipes? We were hoping for pie plants.”

“Oh, those are farther down the path,” Adora said. “But they lack the variety of the reci peas. With reci peas you can make anything.”

“Thank you. Right now we’ll settle for the pies instead of the peas.” Then Dawn did a double take. “Oh, my!”

“Oh, you saw my face!” Adora said, chagrined, pulling her hood tight.

“Its more than that,” Dawn said. “My talent is to know things about people. But you have me confused. Are you male or female?”

“Female, of course. But my head isn’t.” Adora threw back her hood to reveal her head.

Picka and the skeletons were taken aback. The girl had the face of a bull. She was otherwise finely formed; in fact, her body was quite cute by living standards. But the head was quite another matter.

“You resemble the Minotaur,” Dawn said.

“I am a female Minotaur,” Adora said. “Adora Bull.” She drew up her skirt to show that her boots were actually formidable hoofs.

“But how can you be a female bull? You should be a cow.”

“Nobody cows the Minotaur,” Adora said. “Anyway, I’m his daughter, so I carry his surname: Bull.”

“Ah, now I understand.”

“Now if only I could find a male of my species who is not my father or a sibling—”

“Sibling?”

Adora grimaced, which was impressive with the bovine face. “It seems my father liked the ladies, and they were impressed by his, um, masculinity. I have numerous half brothers and sisters with similar heads—Terri, Horri, Capa, Flexi, Practica, Lova, Misera, and maybe others I don’t know about. Also those with human heads and bull bodies: Tough Bull-ies, rich Bull-ion, speeding Bull-et, stalwart Bull-wark, newsy Bull-etin, river-browsing Bull-rush, and so on. None of them are prospects for romance, of course.”

“I see the problem,” Dawn agreed. “But you know, different species can make it together, if they like each other and have accommodation spells.”

“Really? I’ve never seen it. No boy will kiss me.”

“I think it is time for you to meet my friends,” Dawn said. She turned. “Picka?”

Picka stepped forward.

“This is Picka Bone, my fiancé,” Dawn said.

“But he—you’re—” Adora ran out of dashes and had to start over. “He’s a walking skeleton!”

“So he is,” Dawn agreed with half a smile. “Maybe I hadn’t noticed. I like his musical talent.”

“Musical talent?”

Picka unlimbered his clavicles and played a brief merry tune.

“I-I-I have a talent too,” Adora said, evidently nonplussed, if not completely minussed. “I can open Doors. The problem is, I can’t control where they lead.” She gestured, and a Door appeared in a nearby tree trunk. She opened it. Beyond it was a rocky beach beside a tempestuous sea. “I have no idea where that is. If I went there, I would not be able to return here. The next Door would go somewhere quite different. So I don’t use my talent much; it’s not safe.” She closed the Door, and it vanished. The tree seemed unaffected.

“Random travel,” Dawn said thoughtfully. “We might have use for that.”

“Oh? You like to travel?”

“Not exactly. Anyway, Adora, as you see, you don’t have to find a perfect species match. A cowboy would probably do.”

“A cow boy for a bull girl,” Adora agreed. “That does seem to make sense. Thank you.”

Dawn glanced at Picka. “Do you think we should invite her to travel with us for a while? It might enable us to change locations rapidly if we needed to.”

Such as when the monster caught them by surprise, as had already happened twice. “Yes. But what could we offer her in return?”

“A search for a cowboy. Woofer might be able to sniff him, if he was anywhere in the area.”

“It seems worth a try,” Picka agreed.

“Then let’s forage for pies, and explain our situation to Adora. I’ll do the pies; you explain.”

So Dawn and the pets moved on, while Picka explained to Adora in a carefully edited version. “It’s complicated, but we are a kind of musical group with a challenge: to defeat the Music Monster and win Caprice Castle,” he concluded. “Your talent could help us escape. Our talents could help you find your man. Does this seem fair?”

“Yes. I’d feel safer stepping through Doors if I had competent company.”

“But it may be dangerous,” he warned. “The Music Monster is vicious.”

“It’s not danger I fear, but getting lost alone.”

“Then it is time for you to meet our other companions. Joy’nt, Skully?”

The two stepped out.

“More skeletons!” Adora said.

“My sister, and her friend. There’s one more: Granola. She’s an invisible giantess.”

“Amazing,” Adora said appreciatively.

Dawn returned, carrying several pies. The moment she got close to Adora, she knew the situation. “You’ll like Granola,” she said.

“I must go explain to my landlord,” Adora said. “He’ll be relieved to see me go.”

“I’ll go with you.” Dawn said. “I can explain as much as is needed.” She glanced at Picka. “You come too, but stay out of sight.” She handed the pies to Joy’nt. “Save one for me.”

Joy’nt and Skully went to rejoin Granola, while Dawn went up the path with Adora. Picka followed, but stayed well off the path, out of sight. He knew that it wasn’t that Dawn was ashamed of him, but that she didn’t want to freak out the landlord.

“Where is this?” Dawn inquired as they walked.

“South of Jacks on Ville,” Adora said. “That’s another reason I don’t fit: I have the wrong name.”

“It’s a nice name.”

“But here every man is named Jack, and every woman Jackie. Their children live in boxes and jump out when called: Jack in the Boxes. They play nothing but jacks. They wear jackboots, ride jackasses, and keep jackals and jackrabbits for pets. They use jack-o’-lanterns for light, carve with jackknives, and cook jackfruit in jackpots. They don’t like foreigners.”

“I can imagine,” Dawn agreed. “We would not fit in well either.”

They came to the landlord’s house, and Dawn went to the door with Adora and explained that she would be going away with Dawn’s group. Picka saw that the man wore a solid jacket and didn’t give jack for their opinion on anything. So Adora was soon departing, carrying a bag with her meager belongings.

Midrange had been right: it was a significant meeting. Adora and Dawn’s group could do each other some good.

Dawn introduced Adora to Granola and explained her talent. “I thought it could be useful, if we were caught again by surprise.”

“Could I fit through one of those Doors?” Granola asked. “We wouldn’t want to get separated and not be able to find each other again.”

“Oops. I never thought of that.”

“I could make a big door,” Adora said. “Big enough.”

“That should do,” Granola agreed.

They showed Adora how the handbag made its occupants invisible. They had a supper of pies and milkpods, then had a music practice session that thrilled Adora, and settled down for the night. Picka and the skeletons kept watch, as usual.

In fact, Picka walked out some distance from the handbag so he wouldn’t disturb the others, and practiced alone. First he played a predator-repulsive theme so that nothing nasty would come. Then he made fires and extinguished them, sharpening that aspect of kill-music. He cracked stones into piles of sand. He summoned bunnies and squirrels, pacified them, then repelled them. But mainly he tried to get better as a straight musician, because that was the only way he could ultimately compete with the monster. He was improving; he could feel it. He still doubted that he ever would be able to match that level, but he had to try. For Dawn’s sake.

“It’s utterly beautiful,” Adora said.

Picka was startled. He had not seen her approach in the darkness, though he could have had he been more alert. “I was trying not to disturb you living folk.”

The bull head smiled. “I felt this weird compulsion, and had to yield to it. Then I discovered it was you.”

“I was practicing on animals, not people.”

“I am part animal. That must be why I felt it and Dawn didn’t. It also happens I can see better in darkness than regular people can, so I wasn’t concerned.”

Oh. “I apologize.”

“Don’t. I was restless anyway, because of the magnitude of the change in my life. Suddenly I am consorting with skeletons and an invisible giant. That takes time to get used to.”

“I could play pacification music to make you relax and sleep.”

“Please don’t. I felt it before, but was able to resist it, maybe because I am only part animal. I will return now, and probably sleep.”

“I’ll return too,” Picka said. “I have practiced enough tonight.”

“This monster you speak of,” Adora said as they walked back. “He must be some musician, if he is better than you.”

“He is,” Picka agreed morosely. “But if you should encounter him, as you may while you are with us, stay as far away as you possibly can. Piper—that’s his name—is as dangerous as he is ugly. I seem to be the only one who can fight him, with my music, and the best I can do is thwart him when he’s focusing on some other challenge. Alone, I can’t match him, let alone defeat him.”

“I will remember. But if he does come after you, I will try to remain close enough to open a door for you and the others, so you can get away from him. That is the only way I can repay your kindness to me.”

“That will do,” Picka agreed. He liked Adora, but of course that was her nature: to be adorable.

“If you don’t mind my asking, why do you have to fight the monster? I mean, I know he’s chasing you, but why?”

“He wants to marry the princess, so he needs to eliminate me and overpower her. A woman, Pundora, has her own grudge, so is helping him. He won’t stop until he wins—or we do.”

“Oh! that’s awful!”

Picka shrugged. “It’s just the way it is. That’s why I warned you about him. He’s not after you, so will probably ignore you unless you get in his way. Just be careful. Very careful. He can enchant you with his music so you can’t resist.”

“Now I understand,” she said. “Thank you.”

They reached the handbag, and Picka helped her scramble up to its rim and over. In the course of that he got an excellent look up under her skirt. He winced; she was such a nice person, and couldn’t help that there was so much flesh on her bones. He had developed a tolerance for Dawn’s flesh because he loved her, but other flesh still turned him off.

They settled down, and this time Adora slept soundly. Picka was relieved.

“She followed you out?” Joy’nt inquired.

“I played animal-summoning music, and she responded, being part animal. I didn’t realize.”

“You are still learning the potentials of that music.”

“Joy’nt, give me your honest opinion. Can I ever get good enough to defeat the monster alone?”

“Oh, Picka, I hate to say it, but I doubt it. That thing simply has so many pipes and so much power! But don’t give up; there’s always a chance.”

“Thank you.” She had echoed his own assessment.

*   *   *

In the morning the living folk finished off the pies, pods, and snacks, did their attendant ablutions, and were ready to travel. The group of them rode in the handbag, and enjoyed seeing Adora’s awe as it sailed up and across the landscape. “We’re really invisible from outside?” she asked.

“Granola, could you take a couple of us in your other hand for a moment?” Dawn called.

“Readily, if you will trust me.” The giantess reached down with her free hand.

They located it by touch, then Dawn and Adora climbed onto it and were lifted away as if flying. “Oh!” Adora exclaimed. By the time the two returned to the handbag, Adora was convinced.

“You know, this is the weirdest adventure, and you are the weirdest collection of folk I never imagined being part of. But I’m thrilled to be here, and though I hardly know any of you, I think I like you as well as any others I have met. Maybe it’s because none of you see me as unusual, with my bull head. I mean, a Mundane bird, cat, dog, three walking skeletons, a lady invisible giant, and a princess—you are all as different in your ways as I am in mine. So you accept me. I really like that, and will be sorry to leave you.”

“Princess?” Dawn inquired guardedly.

“Oh, bleep! Did I just put my hoof in my mouth? I’m so sorry!”

“I identified myself only as Dawn. Did you recognize me?”

“No, I—I don’t know what to say.”

“My fault,” Picka said. “I forgot we hadn’t told her that detail, and referred to you as the princess.”

“Why didn’t you say that?” Dawn asked Adora.

“I—didn’t want to—I’m sorry.”

“She didn’t want to put Picka on the spot,” Joy’nt said.

“You
are
a nice girl,” Dawn said, and kissed her on her furry ear. “It’s all right. But please don’t refer to me that way to others. It would be hard for me to relate on a personal basis if they knew, and could interfere with our mission.”

“I understand. I will. I mean, I won’t.” Adora was still flustered.

Granola slowed, then stopped. “I believe we’re here.” She set the handbag down, carefully so as not to make a noise.

They peered out through the bag. They saw a glade filled with enormous mushrooms. A man with a sword was hacking them apart. Pieces were flying up and out. One landed in the bag.

Skully caught it. “It’s a slice of bread!” he said, amazed.

“Let me see,” Adora said. She took it and bit into it. “Yes, it is. A big edible piece. Mind if I finish it?”