Tessa pointed the gun at her stalker, her finger on the trigger. “Zander, stop. You’re losing too much blood. I’ve got the gun. He isn’t going anywhere.”
It would be so easy to pull the trigger. A few shots in the right places and he’d never hurt anyone again. One for Jennifer. One for Kayla. One for Emily. One for Cat. One for Zander. And one for her. Maybe, she should just empty the gun into him. Who knew how many people he’d hurt?
“Don’t do it, angel,” Zander rasped, his hands still gripping the other man’s neck. “He’s not worth jail time.”
Her hand shook. It wasn’t that she truly wanted to kill Edward. She just wanted the pain he’d caused to go away. But, his death wouldn’t heal her friends, and it wouldn’t return Jennifer’s childhood to her.
Heavy footsteps thundered up the stairs. Tessa swung around and pointed the gun at the doorway.
“Police! Drop your weapons!”
Detective Duritz and several uniformed officers entered the room. Tessa let her arm sag to her side and pushed the gun across the floor toward Duritz. She knelt by Zander. His skin had a gray cast, and his breathing seemed labored.
“Call an ambulance,” she ordered. “Zander’s been shot.” An officer radioed for help while Duritz squatted next to them.
“You can let go, York. We’ll take it from here.”
Tessa eased Zander to the floor, tears spilling from her eyes.
“I’m so sorry,” she whispered, pressing both hands over the entrance wound. His blood was warm and thick against her skin. She prayed he wasn’t losing too much. He couldn’t die. Not because of her.
She barely noticed the detective handcuffing Edward and shoving him toward another cop. She glanced toward Cat when she heard the sound of duct tape being ripped.
“Ow! If I’d wanted my lips exfoliated, I’d have gone to the spa.” Cat sank to the floor next to Tessa. “Are you okay?”
Tessa nodded, taking in the cuts and bruises covering Cat’s face. “I’m so sorry I got you two into this,” she cried.
Sirens wailed in the distance.
Hurry. Please, please hurry.
“Not your fault,” Zander whispered. His eyes closed.
“Zander! Stay awake.” Fear, worse than she’d ever felt, clawed at her. “You have to stay awake.”
With effort it seemed, he slowly opened his eyes. Glassy and dull, they appeared leeched of their color.
It should be her, bleeding, nearly lifeless on the floor. This was her fault. He didn’t deserve this. Because of her, he would die.
Appearing as if by magic, paramedics flooded the room and pushed her aside. She hadn’t heard them arrive. And now, she could barely make out what they were saying. It was as if they spoke in tongues.
“Lost a lot of blood.”
“GSWs upper left and right quadrants.”
“Run a line.”
“Vitals. Not stable.”
“Shock.”
Zander tried to find Tessa, but all he saw was a sea of white shirts and latex gloves. His chest and shoulder burned like a bitch. It felt as if someone had driven railroad spikes into his body and tried to play connect the holes.
Finally, he caught sight of her. She drifted toward him like a wraith, blood and tears marring her face. He wanted to take her in his arms, but they wouldn’t move.
“Angel,” he rasped.
The shirts and gloves started to pull him away from her.
“I love you,” her voice drifted to him on a wave of pain.
Joy burst in his chest, eclipsing all other sensations. Realization followed, and he understood she’d been trying to express her feelings earlier.
He wanted to tell her he loved her, to ask her to spend the rest of her life with him, but he couldn’t form the words. “I know.”
His vision blurred. Tessa’s face distorted along with the walls. The room seemed to be melting, and the voices were muffled. He thought he heard her crying his name, but he couldn’t be sure. He drifted farther away. At least, the pain had subsided, but he was cold. Maybe, if he rested for a while, he’d have the strength to hold her when he woke. When they got home, he wouldn’t let her out of bed for a month, at least.
“We’re losing him!”
The shout penetrated Tessa’s shock-clouded brain. Fear spiked, and she ran toward the paramedics. Strong hands held her back. With a rush of adrenaline, she turned, driving the heel of her hand into her attacker’s face and ignoring the angry curses. She had to get to Zander.
“Tessa, stop!”
She recognized Cat’s voice and glanced around. Her friend stood between her and Detective Duritz, who now clutched his bloodied nose.
“Sorry,” Tessa muttered and turned back to Zander.
“We’ve got a rhythm. Let’s go.”
The paramedics rushed him down the stairs. Tessa followed closely. A woman barred her way when she tried to climb in the ambulance.
“Please.” Her voice broke as fear washed over her. “I need to be with him.”
“There’s not enough room, ma’am. You’ll have to follow us.” The woman pulled the door shut, separating Tessa from the only place she wanted to be.
“Ms. Maycroft?” Duritz stood several feet away. “I need to get a statement from you.”
She sprinted for her car. “Get it at the hospital. I need to be with Zander.”
He grabbed her arm. “You’re in no condition to drive. I’ll take you. You and your friend need medical attention.”
Cat stood behind her cocooned in a heavy blanket, shivering in the rain. Guilt assailed Tessa. She’d been so concerned about Zander she’d hardly spared a thought for her friend.
Duritz directed them to his car. Both women got in the backseat.
Tessa wrapped her arms around Cat. Tears spilled down her face, stinging when they coursed over broken skin. “I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry. I never thought…”
“It’ll be okay,” Cat whispered. “It’ll be okay.”
* * * *
By the time they reached the hospital, Zander had been taken to surgery. Tessa paced the width of the small, surgical waiting room, praying harder than she ever had in her life. Zander had to live. He had to. It wasn’t that she couldn’t live without him. She’d already resigned herself to that inevitability. She couldn’t live knowing she was responsible for the death of the man she loved more than life.
The police took Cat’s statement while her partner, Susan, remained with Tessa. Tessa had spoken with Duritz as soon as they’d arrived, refusing to leave her hallway vigil.
“Tess?” Susan’s red-rimmed eyes radiated concern, and she swiped at her blotchy cheeks. “You should really let a doctor take a look at your face.”
Tessa clutched a plastic bag containing the remainder of Zander’s belongings to her chest. “I can’t leave him.”
The other woman’s eyes filled. “I know. It’s killing me to be away from Cat right now.” Her clenched fists shook in impotent anger.
“I’m…”
Susan cut her off. “Don’t you dare tell me you’re sorry again. This isn’t your fault any more than it’s mine.” Her eyes blazed with conviction, and she squeezed Tessa’s hand in silent support.
Unsteadily, Cat stepped out of a tiny, conference room. “Jeez, disappear for a few minutes, and you’re already holding hands with another girl.”
Susan released Tessa and threw her arms around Cat. Cat trembled in her embrace, seeming desperate to hang on to her composure. Humor had always been her best defense, but it was strained under this stark solemnity.
Her eyes darted toward the surgical theater. “Any word?”
Tessa shook her head.
“Do you want something to eat?” Cat asked.
“What I want is for you to let Susan take you home. You need some rest.”
“I’m not leaving until…until he’s out of surgery. He saved my life, too.” Cat sat in a mauve, leatherette seat and patted the chair next to her for Susan.
Tessa shifted the plastic bag in her arms. An ER nurse had handed it to her filled with Zander’s shoes, wallet, keys and phone. The angel pendant was in there, too. She thought about keeping it as a memento of their time together, but she couldn’t. She didn’t deserve it.
The shrill ring of a cell phone sounded inside the plastic bag she held. With shaking hands, she removed it.
“Hello?” She tried to keep her voice from wobbling as badly as her hands.
“Sorry,” the heavily accented voice answered. “I think I’ve rung the wrong phone.”
“Aidan?”
“Tessa? Is that you?”
She made an affirmative noise that couldn’t quite be considered a word.
“Are you all right? Where is Zander? I’ve been trying to reach him.”
The tears she’d thought had dried up seeped from her burning eyes. “He’s been shot. We’re at Mercy Central. Downtown.”
“Jesus, Mary and Joseph,” he muttered. “How is he?”
“I don’t know,” she choked out. “He’s in surgery.”
“I’ll be there in a few minutes. What floor is he on?”
“Second.” She disconnected without saying goodbye.
“Are you okay?” Susan whispered from across the room. Cat had fallen asleep on her shoulder.
Tessa shrugged. She wasn’t sure she’d ever be all right again. Cat whimpered in her sleep. Nightmares, no doubt. Thanks to Tessa, she’d be stuck with them. Susan soothed her, whispering softly.
At least, Edward hadn’t raped Cat. Tessa assumed it had been part of his plan, but he’d wanted Tessa around to witness it. She watched the hands of the clock inch past the hour. Time had never passed so slowly. Unable to sit still a moment longer, she jumped up and walked to the double doors that separated her from Zander.
She couldn’t see any movement through the windows. The hallway beyond appeared devoid of life. Would anyone even notice if she slipped back there to check on his progress? Hospital staff scurried up and down the hall, denying her the chance to find out what was going on. The huge, white face of the clock behind her showed in the glass and despite the fact that she’d been standing there almost half an hour, time seemed to move backward.
A man approached from behind. His reflection in the window drew closer. Hopefully, he’d pass by and she could slip in undetected. Instead, he headed directly toward her.
“Tessa?”
She turned to face him. Aidan. With the stress of the night, she’d forgotten he was coming. She glanced at the clock near the vending machines. Nearly ten o’clock.
He winced when he saw her. Self-consciously, she raised a hand to her face. Her jaw was probably purple by now, but the gashes had scabbed over. From his expression, she looked worse than she’d thought.
With careful movements, he enfolded her in his arms. “God, Tessa. Are you all right?”
No, she wasn’t all right. She wished people would stop asking that question. She was an emotional train wreck. It was harder to breathe now than when she’d left Zander asleep in her bed. Was it possible to suffocate on her own pain and guilt?
“I’m fine.” If she said more than that, she’d start screaming, and she wasn’t sure she’d ever be able to stop.
“Has there been any news?”
She shook her head.
Aidan led her back to the small sitting area. Settled next to Cat and Susan, they waited. Tessa’s body ached with exhaustion, but she refused to sleep. No one spoke. The floor was quiet except for the hum of the soda machine and the occasional ding of the elevator.
A flash of blue near the doors to the surgical ward caught her attention. Hope burned her chest like acid, as a man dressed in scrubs approached. Was he the surgeon? She jumped from her chair and hurried toward him.
Please let Zander be alive. Please let him be alive.
“Mrs. York?” he asked.
Tessa nodded mutely, unable and unwilling to correct him.
A slow smile worked its way across his face. “He’ll be fine. The bullet missed his heart. A few centimeters lower…” He left the rest unsaid.
“What about the other one?”
“Your husband is a very lucky man.”
Tessa ignored the little stab of guilt at her deception. Only Zander was important.
“It was a fairly shallow wound. The second slug traveled straight through his shoulder.” He indicated the spot on his own body. “He’s got a few cracked ribs, but they’ll heal.” The doctor flexed his fingers. “He’ll need plenty of rest during his recovery.”
She nodded. “Can I see him?”
“Only for a minute.” He motioned her through the door. “He’s being moved to ICU.”
Zander lay on a gurney in the hallway looking nearly as pale as the sheets. How much blood had he lost?
A nurse stood near him, writing vigorously. After checking Zander’s pulse, he attached the clipboard to the railing and stepped aside as Tessa drew near.
Clear plastic tubes pushed various fluids and oxygen into Zander’s body. He looked so still and lifeless she worried that perhaps the doctor had lied. But she saw Zander’s chest move as he took shallow breaths. Intense relief spread like ripples through her limbs, and for a moment, she thought she’d collapse.
She smoothed his hair off his forehead and kissed him. The doctor waited a discreet distance away, allowing her the illusion of privacy.
“I’m so sorry,” she whispered.
I love you
. “Please get better.”
I love you
. “Your family needs you.”
I love you
.
A shadow fell over her, and she straightened.
“We need to get him to his room, ma’am,” the nurse said.
After he’d been wheeled away, Tessa sat alone in the Intensive Care waiting room. Once Zander was settled in and resting comfortably, she’d convinced Cat to let Susan take her home. Aidan had stayed until the morning shift arrived. He’d tried diligently to get her to eat something, but she couldn’t choke down more than a sip or two of water.
“You do realize Zander will kick my ass if I don’t take care of you, don’t you?”
“I’m fine,” she’d responded.
Reluctantly, he’d left, promising to check back later that day. Midterms were coming up, and he needed to get the rest of Zander’s lesson plans to the substitute. She’d given Zander’s belongings to Aidan. He could return them. By the time Zander was well enough to need them, she planned to be long gone.
Like a ghost, Tessa had haunted the hallway outside the unit, peering through the glass, watching the steady rise and fall of Zander’s chest. He’d been given a mild sedative to keep him resting quietly while the staff monitored his progress.