Vengeful Shadows (27 page)

She looked stupidly at the receiver she still held.

“Let’s see how the recorder worked,” he said.

“Actually, I was trying to call for a pizza, but the line’s busy.” She could imagine Edward’s shadowed figure, watching and listening, nodding his approval.

Zander walked toward the kitchen. “I think there’re some leftovers from the other night. Want me to check?”

Tessa nodded, unable to speak. Her life had taken a turn for the surreal. Zander went about the business of warming up dinner for them as if they had a normal life. In the matter of a few hours, she’d be dead.

She didn’t want to leave him like this. She wanted to admit her love, stay with him forever, have his children. But this was the end. Soon, she’d be only a sad memory.

Her heart ached at the pain she knew she’d cause. First Julia; now her. He’d see this as another failure, but she didn’t have a choice. Cat didn’t deserve this kind of torment. And this was the only way to save her.

Zander watched her from the doorway of the kitchen, trying to suppress his desire for her. She’d seen that expression far too many times recently not to know what he was thinking.

Cognizant of the fact that a third party observed her actions, she turned off the lights as she walked toward Zander. The hallway bulb, the only illumination in the apartment, backlit him, shrouding his features.

“What’s going on, angel?” His husky voice shot through her and need pooled heavy and low in her abdomen. She glanced behind him at the glowing numbers on the microwave clock. She swallowed past the knot in her throat. Just enough time for goodbye.

She stopped before him and trailed her fingertips up his chest. “I’m not really hungry right now.” She felt the breath that lodged in his lungs.

“No?”

She shook her head. Twining her arms around his neck, she urged his mouth to hers. With a groan, he backed her against the wall. Pinioned between the cold plaster and the heated planes of his body, she wanted to cry. Not because of any lingering fear, but because these would be her last moments with the man she loved.

She wanted to tell him how she felt. The words threatened to break free, but she couldn’t shake the sensation that telling him would only make it worse after she was gone. She refused to do that. Instead, she poured her emotions into every kiss, every caress, every whisper of breath they shared.

It no longer mattered that if they were able to remain together. He’d eventually realize he was mistaken about his feelings for her. For this night, she’d accept his love and give all of herself in return.

She tried not to think of the stalker watching. In the larger scheme of things, it didn’t really matter. She’d be dead soon. Embarrassment paled in comparison to the importance of saying goodbye to Zander.

Tessa pulled back to gaze into his eyes. “Come to bed.”

He studied her, concern and want playing out across his face.

“I—” She’d almost said it. She’d almost confessed her love. “I need you.” Her voice quavered for a moment as she fought for control of her emotions.

She laced their fingers together and led him to the bedroom. Stopping next to the bed, she unbuttoned his shirt. He shrugged from it, and the garment fell to the floor. Smoothing her hands over his bare chest, she savored his firm muscles under her fingertips.

She leaned forward and circled his nipple with her tongue. His breath hissed through clenched teeth, and he drove his fingers through her hair, pulling her head back.

The fiercely-possessive expression in his eyes sent spirals of need curling through her abdomen. Holding his gaze, she trailed her mouth down, over the silky swirls of hair, dipped her tongue in his navel then kept going. His entire body vibrated with barely leashed ardor as he caressed the nape of her neck.

Kneeling, she unbuttoned the waistband of his jeans and exposed his straining cock and stroked her hand down the thick shaft, the veins tickling her palm. With her free hand, she shoved his pants and underwear to his ankles and helped him kick them off. Within moments, all of his clothes lay heaped on the floor. Not waiting another moment, she took him in her mouth and all the way down her throat, pulling a hoarse cry from his lips. His fingers twisted in her hair and he groaned, a harsh, ragged sound. His voice tightened her nipples, and an answering tug constricted her womb and dampened her panties. Using both hands, she tugged at his balls and caressed his length while devouring as much of him as she could.

Without warning, Zander grabbed her shoulders and dragged her back to a standing position. “You have too many clothes on,” he rasped against the side of her neck.

She glanced at herself and back to him. “I think you may be right.” Discreetly checking the time on her alarm clock, she skimmed off her sweater and threw it past his head. Her pants and underclothes followed.

The chilled air kissed her flesh. Her nipples pebbled further under Zander’s heated stare. Bending, he captured one of the sensitive peaks in his mouth. His rough chin and cheeks abraded her skin as he moved back and forth between her breasts, sucking and biting. He seemed almost as desperate and driven as she felt. He devastated her senses, nipping, laving, sucking. Every pull of his mouth made her pussy ache to be filled. Tiny bolts of electricity zinged along her nerve endings, and she arched against him with a groan.

“I love the sounds you make.” He covered her breast with one large, warm hand and slid the other over her belly to find her slick and ready for him. “God, you’re wet,” he breathed.

“You do that to me.”

His wicked grin was barely visible in the near-dark, as his fingers slid over her clit before slipping them inside her. “I’d like to do a lot of things to you.”

The thick digits stretched her, and her head fell back as he pumped in and out of her clenching body. He dragged his lips over her throat and up to her ear. “I need you.”

Turning her, he guided her back to sit on the bed. Lowering himself to his knees, he slid his hands up her thighs, spreading her legs. He met her gaze, his expression feverish as he placed a hand in the center of her chest and pushed her back to rest on her elbows. Draping her legs over his shoulders, he lowered his head and dragged his tongue along her cleft.

She nearly flew off the bed at the feel of his mouth on her pussy. Over and over, he licked her, caressed her with his lips and fingers. And when he suckled her clit, she cried out his name, her release slamming into her with the force of an explosion. He stroked her as she came down from the most intense orgasm she’d ever had then lay next to her and pulled her to land on top of him. She was still shaking. She’d never allowed herself to be this vulnerable before.

Hot, hard muscle singed her skin, and she welcomed his feverish heat. With languid strokes, he caressed her body and held her. For a moment, she lay still, her head on his chest, listening to the strong rhythm of his heart. Her own swelled with love until she thought she’d burst with it.

Rolling off him, she tried to pull him over. He turned to his side, but wouldn’t move farther. She tugged again.

He cupped her cheek and gently traced the shape of her lips with his thumb. “What are you doing?”

“Trusting you.”

Zander searched her eyes.

“A while ago, you told me that trust doesn’t have to mean being dominated.” Tessa breathed past the lump that tried to suffocate her. “I finally realized you were right.”

He splayed his hand across her belly, and she quivered at his touch. He glanced at her face, his expression worried.

She smiled around the pain of leaving him. “That was a good shiver.” She drew his head to hers and kissed him, knowing that if he looked into her eyes right now, he’d see the love she tried to hide. It would be so much worse for him after she was dead if he knew the truth.

This time, when she tugged at him, he followed, pressing her into the bed. With hungry hands and mouth, he devoured her. He stopped to worship at every curve, every hidden pleasure point, touching her as if learning her body for the first time.

She squirmed as his stubble covered cheeks abraded her already sensitized skin, driving her desire higher. She grabbed his head and dragged his questing lips back to her aching nipples.

Fear and anger fueled her desire, and she dug her nails into his back, wanting him closer. His low chuckle vibrated against her. Her desire intensified with every sound he made. The wet suction of his mouth, the needy groans, the carnal promises he whispered like prayers in the dark.

The streetlight shone faintly through the window, illuminating his face as he gazed at her. For a moment, she could see the children she’d never have and the life with him she’d never live reflected in his eyes. Sorrow and love collided. She pushed away the painful thoughts and, instead, concentrated on the need that thrummed between their bodies.

She arched against him, desperate to have him inside her. Anxious to have him fill the raging emptiness. Frantic to have him blot out the desolation the following hours would bring.

His thigh, heavy and hard, slipped between her legs. For a heartbeat, familiar panic welled, beating in her throat like the wings of a trapped dove.

“Angel,” he murmured, and she met his gaze. As gentle as moonlight, the reverent longing in his eyes washed away the fear. A baptism of flesh on flesh, healing the old wounds.

He whispered to her, caressing her with words. His voice resonated through her body and centered in her womb. It throbbed along her nerve endings, lifting her on rising waves of need. His hand skimmed from her breast, to her hip and lower. He cupped her and stroked through her damp curls. Groaning, he withdrew, despite her cry of disappointment.

Holding her immobile with his smoldering gaze, he traced her areola with his damp fingertip. With a shudder, he drew her anointed nipple between his lips. He sucked, pressing it hard against the roof of his mouth, and her body bowed off the bed. Sweet eruptions quaked through her limbs. Wild with need, she urged him to enter her.

Instead, he found her clit and circled the swollen flesh while he nipped and laved her breast. Delicate tremors rushed and tumbled into jolting spasms of pleasure.

This time, he didn’t resist when she pulled him forward. He hovered above her, as if waiting for permission. If permission was what he wanted, she’d grant it. Tessa slipped her arms around his neck and pulled him down.

All fear had vanished, replaced by a need stronger than she’d ever experienced. His weight settled on her, a welcome offering. His grimace bordered on anguish as he nudged her, eager to be sheathed in her warmth.

Moving her hands from his neck to his ass, she pulled him forward and tilted her hips upward. With a guttural cry, he sank into her. He felt huge inside her, filling her completely. He started to pull out, but she locked her legs around his waist.

“Oh, I don’t think so.”

“Condom. Not. Wearing. One,” he gritted.

The sensation of their bodies meshed together without protection was almost enough to make her come again.

“It’s okay.” She wasn’t at the right place in her cycle. Even if she was wrong, it wouldn’t matter after tonight.

“Thank God,” he breathed. Groaning, he bit her earlobe as he slowly ground forward. With long, labored stokes, he thrust. She met him lunge for lunge, the measured pace driving her crazy. His face contorted with the effort of holding his passion in check.

“I won’t break.”

“I don’t want to hurt you.” He left the rest unsaid. He wanted to protect her and keep her safe from her memories.

His acceptance washed away any lingering vulnerability. The old fears had coated her skin like dirt she’d never been able to scrub off. But now, with Zander, she was free.

She dug her fingernails into the hard muscles of his ass, loving the way his cock flexed inside her, his breath an agonized hiss. She raised her lips to his ear. “Don’t hold back for me. I want you. All of you.”

As if freed from iron shackles, Zander plunged into her, his roar muffled by her neck. He rasped her name with each thrust, a low, desperate mantra of ache, a prayer of supplication. Tessa surrendered to the need raging between them, the desperate communion of body and soul.

Zander drove his fingers through her hair, cupping her head with both hands. The turbulent light in his eyes tightened the bands of love and pain around her heart. She blinked back the tears that burned her throat. His gaze never left hers as they strained together.

“I can’t hold back,” he breathed.

His abandoned thrusts wound her tighter.

“Don’t.” She clung to his body, arching into him.

“Tessa,” he rasped, staring into her eyes.

Her hips jerked hard against his, and she cried out. He shuddered, spilling inside her. The feeling that something sacred had just taken place overwhelmed her. Aftershocks trembled through her body, and she held him, craving what little time they had left.

Forehead to forehead, they lay panting. Their breathing eventually slowed, and sweat chilled on their skin.

“I don’t think I can move,” he groaned.

“Then don’t,” she whispered and kissed his temple.

From the corner of her eye, Tessa watched the glowing, red numbers on the digital clock change. They raced by like a film in fast-forward, and she could do nothing to slow them. Unable to stop time, she held Zander close, refusing to let him move away when he would have slid off her.

Her chest ached, and tears burned her eyes to drip into her hair. She was willingly walking away from this. From Zander. So Cat could live, she reminded herself. An almost immobilizing fear stole over her like a shadow as the reality of the situation crystallized.

This was it. In a short time, she’d cease to be.

She hoped Zander would realize sooner, rather than later, that he’d been was mistaken about his love for her. Maybe it would lessen the guilt he was bound to feel.

“Are you all right?” he asked as if sensing her turmoil.

She forced a smile. “Absolutely.” She had to do this now, before she chickened out, or worse, broke down and told him everything. “I do have to go to the bathroom, though.” She’d wait until he’d fallen asleep and sneak out. It shouldn’t take too long. Neither one of them had slept much lately. It was risky, but it was also the only plan she had.