Valeria’s Cross (27 page)

Valeria and Galerius lingered over breakfast, discussing the latest news about Candidianus. He was reported to be a valiant warrior, though he, too, had been forced to participate in the pagan ceremonies that so plagued his mother and grandmother. Yet how could she expect him to do otherwise, Valeria wondered, since she had set such a poor example for him to follow?

But now a messenger appeared and their discussion of Candidianus ceased. When the courier left, Galerius turned to Valeria, the look on his face mirroring trouble.

“What is it? Please tell me the bad news does not concern Candidianus!”

He took a deep breath before answering. “Because she is so special to you and was once in our employ, one of the tribunes has notified me that your friend Eugenia and her son …”

Valeria’s head felt light. Whatever Galerius was about to tell her, she sensed she did not want to hear it.

“They were … among a group of martyrs in Nicomedia who were … executed this morning.”

Her heart froze. Eugenia? Octavius? Martyrs? How was that possible?

“Why was I not told?” Valeria cried. “Perhaps I could have stopped it!”

But of course she knew that wasn’t true. Overwhelmed with yet another loss, Valeria escaped to her room, where she mourned in solitude for a month, allowing no one, not even her mother, to visit her.

At least Eugenia is reunited with her beloved husband,
Valeria thought, as she knelt by her bed in prayer, pouring out her pain to the Lord.
And young Octavius has at last met his father, whose name he bore and whose courage he so obviously inherited. Perhaps they have even seen Mauritius and told him of my undying love for him.
Had it not been for her concern for Candidianus, Valeria would surely have preferred to fall asleep that night and never awaken. How was she to continue on after so many losses?

Ah, but I must, for I sense that my work is far from finished.

Eventually Valeria’s life returned to normal, and she and Galerius miraculously reached a period of deep affection and respect in their marriage. But it was truly supernatural because
Valeria had to turn a blind eye to the persecutions taking place all around them. Ever faithful, she continued to pray for her husband’s salvation. Their home was peaceful, although outside the gates, the kingdom raged with upheaval.

With Candidianus away, Valeria now spent most of her time in prayer and Bible studies. She was engrossed in her morning devotional when a sharp rap at her door interrupted her thoughts.

“Excuse me,” the young male servant blurted the moment Valeria opened the door, “but your husband requests your presence in his quarters immediately.”

Valeria frowned, as she considered Galerius’ possible purpose for such a dire summons. “What is it? Is something wrong? Has something happened to Candidianus?”

The young man’s distress was evident, as he stammered, “I am … not at liberty to say, madame. Please, come quickly.”

Whispering a silent prayer for wisdom and courage, Valeria closed her bedroom door behind her and silently followed the anxious servant down the hallway toward her husband’s room. She and Galerius had not visited one another’s rooms during the day in many months now, though Galerius almost always came to sleep in her bed at night. The last few nights, however, he had not done so. His absence, combined with the fact that he had summoned her with such urgency, did not bode well.

The sound of her husband’s moans greeted her as she knocked on his door. Without waiting for an answer, she flung it open and rushed to his bedside, where he lay prostrate on his back, his face white against the pillow.

“What is it, my dear?” she cried, bending over him to stroke his face, which was hot with fever. “You are ill.”

Galerius opened his eyes and focused his gaze upon her, astonishing her with the level of torment she saw reflected
there. Despite their many differences, her heart went out to him as she considered the seriousness of his pain, for she knew her husband did not take to his bed lightly.

Turning to the servant who had escorted Valeria to her husband’s room, Galerius gasped, “My clothes—remove them, quickly.”

Valeria was confused. Why would he issue such an order? Before she could ask, he bellowed at the obviously apprehensive servant, “Now! Get them off of me, now!”

Trembling, the young man removed Galerius’ boots and then fumbled with his clothes, at last pulling his pants down and yanking them off his feet, even as his moaning increased. Tossing the clothes to the floor, the servant stood aside, revealing his master’s nakedness.

Valeria gasped. “Dear God,” she whispered, as her vision grew fuzzy and her head light. “Galerius, what has happened to you? What sorts of wounds are these? Who did this to you— and how?”

But she could not hear his response, as she slipped to the floor, welcoming the darkness that enveloped her.

The malady was unlike anything Valeria had ever heard of, and even the doctors were perplexed. Regardless of what remedies they attempted, the disease continued to progress. Her husband’s entire body was soon covered in ulcers, and in his groin area the sores had burst and left a deep, cavernous hole, revealing his rotted guts. After Galerius noticed his genitals were swollen, he intentionally avoided Valeria, hoping the malady would heal. Within days the swelling and pain had become almost unbearable, forcing him to retire to his room and to summon his wife to come to his side.

And that is exactly where Valeria stayed, praying for her husband’s healing but also for his salvation, for it was evident that apart from a miracle, the man could not last for long. Within a few days, an odious ulcer had begun to grow upon the grossly swollen genitals, and the physicians, aghast and helpless and scarcely able to stand the stench, informed Valeria that her husband’s body was infested with worms. The doctors had no idea how to stop the onslaught of the infection. Though they were twice able to stanch his profuse bleeding, the man who was once so strong and regal in his bearing was soon reduced to one scarcely recognizable as human.

Galerius cried and begged for relief, but none seemed forthcoming, though he insisted that Valeria’s presence gave him comfort and made the pain bearable. And so, despite the stench, Valeria stayed at his side, beseeching God for a miracle.

When some of the royal physicians complained about the odor and refused to draw near his bed, Galerius, stung to the soul with rage and pain, bellowed as a wounded bull—and then promptly had the hapless doctors executed. He then had physicians brought in from other areas of the kingdom, though few were able to endure the noxious odor of his decaying body. The doctors who refused to approach him were killed, yet even the people in Nicomedia avoided coming near the palace because of the hideous odor that wafted through its windows and into the streets. “Surely, the emperor is rotting!” they declared.

“It is hopeless,” Galerius said at last. “Do you not understand, Valeria? Your God is not going to hear your prayers, nor will He answer them. It is He who is torturing me, punishing me for persecuting His people—Mauritius, Octavius, Eugenia and her son, even you and your mother, and thousands of others, so many I have lost count.” He grabbed her arm and
pulled her close, as if he wanted to confide in her. She leaned in, listening, as he whispered, “They come to me at night— the spirits of those I have murdered. They torment and torture me with the heat of hell itself, promising me that I will pay for all eternity for the evils I have done.”

Valeria was horrified at the realization of the level of torment her husband had endured, even as he slept. “Oh, my darling, no,” she crooned. “It is not the spirits of the martyrs who come to torture you, my love. It is the very host of hell, tempting you to believe that there is no way out for you. But it is not true, dear one. It is not true!”

Galerius’ pain-ravaged body convulsed with sobs as he cried out, “Does that mean you can forgive me? And your God—can He forgive me as well? Is there any hope for me?”

“My darling, I have already forgiven you,” Valeria spoke softly, soothing her husband’s fevered brow with her hand. “The consequences of our actions are also God’s gift to us because it allows us sinners a second chance to make things right with Him. I cannot promise you that by turning to God your suffering will go away, but I can assure you that you will not be lost in darkness forever, for God has already provided a way of escape from the eternal punishment we all deserve. God is saying to you now, ‘Come unto me, all who are weary, and I will give you rest.’ ”

Galerius said weakly, “I need rest. I have not slept for days, and I am in agony. Yet you make it sound so easy.”

“It is easy. God’s salvation is a free gift to his children.”

“But why would God give a gift to a man as evil as I?”

Valeria could see the confusion on his face and tried to explain. “God allows the physical torture of the body and spiritual burden of the heart because it gradually becomes the motivation for salvation … to have your sins washed away by the Blood of the Lamb.”

“So despite this punishment, you are saying I can be saved?” Galerius’ hollowed eyes grew wide.

“This punishment may be your road to redemption, but it is God’s forgiveness that is the key that will unlock the gates of heaven.”

“But how can I be forgiven with all I have done?”

“Consider that St. Paul was a great persecutor of Christians. God afflicted him with blindness and placed a great spiritual burden upon his heart, but Paul begged forgiveness, and he lived to do great things for God and the kingdom.”

“I want to live,” cried Galerius. “But I fear your God is angry at me for all the evil I have done! How can he forgive a sinner like me?”

“Jesus Christ has already paid for your sins and mine. This is why Christians want to honor and serve Him—not that we can ever repay Him for His sacrifice. But even if you do not live, you will go to heaven, which is a far greater kingdom than the Roman Empire. Why, the Scriptures tell us that the streets are paved with gold!”

“And even I can go there?”

“God says through the prophet Isaiah, ‘though your sins are like scarlet, I will make them white as snow.’ God wants us to understand that no matter how sinful we are, we can still be His children. Yet we have to repent in order to be redeemed by God. Then the balm of Gilead will soothe the pain in our soul.”

“But my doctors have applied the balm of Gilead to my ulcers. It has not healed or helped me in the least.”

“The true balm of Gilead is Jesus. He is the one who can grant us our salvation and our healing.”

Galerius closed his eyes then, as he cried out, “Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned! If you do not spare my life, I want to go to this paradise.”

The words were like honey to Valeria’s heart, as she forgot about the reeking odor and leaned against her husband’s breast, wrapping her arms around him while hot tears spilled from her eyes. “And so you shall, my darling! So you shall. Oh, my dear husband, I have prayed for this day for so long, but I never thought it would happen like this!”

“I never thought it would happen at all,” Galerius sobbed. “But now that I have asked for His forgiveness, I must also ask for yours. I have tormented you and made your life miserable, yet you have been a loving and gracious wife to me—so much better than I deserved.”

Valeria’s heart constricted as she thought of the many times she had closed her eyes and pictured Mauritius’ face, even as Galerius held her in his arms. She thought too of the fleeting moments of passion and temptation that had passed between her and Daza years earlier, and the guilt nearly crushed her.

“Oh, Galerius,” she sobbed, “my beloved husband. My dear, dear husband … forgive me as well. You have been good to me and given me great love and affection.”

In answer, he began to stroke her hair, and Valeria wept at the tenderness and vulnerability of his gesture, even as she sensed that her husband’s time on earth was nearly over.

“Send for a scribe,” he instructed her after a few moments. “I want to show my gratitude for God’s forgiveness and in some meager way attempt to atone for my evil works by dictating an edict that will end the persecution of all Christians.”