Valeria’s Cross (11 page)

“Surely one man cannot wield that much influence.”

“There is no doubt Father’s sudden change of heart toward the Christians is due to Galerius’ influence. Galerius’ mother is the high priestess at the Temple of Jupiter. She is a fanatical pagan, and he is just like her.”

“Having grown up under the influence of such religious zealotry, it is no surprise to me that Galerius’ feelings toward other religions is hostile,” the woman admitted.

“This is why I cannot imagine marriage to the man. Surely, the Lord does not expect me to endure such a fate.”

“God is greater than your circumstances.”

“Oh, please,” Valeria cried, dropping her head into her hands and beginning to sob. “Please, you must save me from this horrible fate!”

“It is just as I thought. Your desire to join us here has nothing to do with a calling or your desire to serve. Valeria, are you called to serve at the priory, or are you running away from home?”

“But he’s a wretched, horrible man,” Valeria cried, ignoring the woman’s question. “You must help me!”

She returned to Valeria’s side and touched the top of her head. “You, my dear, have been chosen by God to find Galerius’ heart. He does have one, you know.”

“But he has no soul,” Valeria protested.

“Enough. You have my word that I will pray about the matter of your joining our community, but I do not believe this is the purpose God has decreed for you. God is waiting for you to relinquish your will to Him so he can work mightily in your life.”

“I want to yield my will to God’s, but how can I under these circumstances—facing such a dreadful marriage?”

“You will find there is great peace and power in relinquishment, my child. When you leave the choice to God, he always gives you His best. I can assure you that God will supply all the strength you need.”

But even as Mary Therese spoke her words of wisdom and advice, Valeria was already moving on to her next plan, plotting her escape to Switzerland. Surely Felix would not refuse her, would he?

W
ake up,” Eugenia called, penetrating Valeria’s consciousness. “Did you forget we are going into the village today to see the fabrics the merchant brought from the Orient? You must choose the silks for your trousseau.”

“I am sorry, but I cannot go,” Valeria moaned, her hand shielding her eyes from the rising sun.

“You have no choice in the matter, young lady.”

“But my head aches, and I feel chilled,” Valeria complained. “You and Mother will have to go to the village without me.”

Eugenia put her hand on Valeria’s forehead. “You do not feel warm. Perhaps you are just tired.”

“I am exhausted, but I also feel miserable. Will you please go with Mother and help her choose the fabrics for me?”

“But if you are not feeling well, I should stay with you.”

“There are plenty of servants to take care of me. Besides, the women can look in on me too. Please go with Mother for me, will you? Without you, Mother might select stodgy old things that I would not like.”

“Your mother has beautiful taste. She does not need me.”

“Oh, but your tastes are more youthful.”

Eugenia hesitated, touching Valeria’s forehead and cheeks again. After a moment, she acquiesced, declaring that she would ask the women to serve Valeria a breakfast in her room.

Moments later a worried Prisca, having heard the news from Eugenia, entered Valeria’s room.

“I just need some rest, Mother,” Valeria insisted. “Please go to the village without me.” When at last Prisca agreed and left, Valeria smiled. Neither of the women were the least suspicious.

From her window, Valeria watched her mother and Eugenia walk through the garden to the gate.
This could be the last time I will ever see them
, she thought. She raised her hand in an effort to say goodbye to the two women she loved most in the world. Overcome with emotion, she let out a small cry as she watched them disappear from her sight. She had deceived her mother and her friend. But what choice did she have?

Valeria soon made her way into the kitchen to talk to the women who were putting away the breakfast dishes, convincing them she was now feeling much better. During the course of the conversation, she intentionally mentioned how much she admired the black wraps the women wore outdoors. As she had hoped, one of them quickly retrieved a cape for Valeria.
Surely, God is in my plan,
she comforted herself.
He will assure that it succeeds.

Returning to her room, Valeria dismissed the servants by explaining she needed to rest. The moment they were out the door, she slipped around the corner to her mother’s room, where she found the tapestry bag that held the gold.

Within moments she had filled her skirt with gold coins. Once back in her room, she tied the coins into stacks of gold in her handkerchiefs and slipped them into her traveling bag. She then slicked her hair back into a severe bun, tucking her curls underneath with hairpins. Although the weather was moderate, she flung the hooded cape around her shoulders. No one would recognize her now. Just before she tiptoed out the side door of the castle, she mumbled a prayer.

Traversing the cobblestone streets of the village, Valeria was relieved that she did not attract attention. A few people nodded in greeting, but even when she stopped a farmer to ask directions to the monastery at St. John’s, he barely glanced at her.

Valeria soon arrived at the monastery. She spoke her best French and inquired of the monk at the gate if Felix from Valais was a guest there. The monk nodded and ordered an errand boy to fetch him. Valeria paced nervously as she waited, praying she would not be discovered. To her delight, Felix appeared within minutes.

“Good morning,” she said, greeting him with a radiant smile and unwinding the scarf from her neck so he would recognize her.

With a look of confusion, Felix studied her face. “Good day, Madame. Have we met?”

Valeria’s courage seemed to melt away, as she answered with a weak “yes.”

“Forgive me,” Felix said, “but I cannot recall your name. Should I?”

Unable to speak, Valeria unpinned her hair and let it tumble about her shoulders. At the sight, the corners of Felix’s lips turned upward. “It is you! I should have recognized those azure eyes. What are you doing here? But, wait. How rude of me! Please, step inside the gate. Have you visited the monastery
before? Would you like for me to show you around? Is that why you have come?”

Valeria smiled. “I would love to see the monastery—later. But first, what are your plans? Are you leaving for Switzerland soon?”

He returned her smile. “You almost missed me. I leave tomorrow before dawn.”

She clapped her hands together like an excited child. “Ah, then God is indeed in the details!”

“He is always in the details. Come, sit down and tell me why you are here.” Felix pointed to a bench under an arbor of purple wisteria, then took her bag and carried it. “What have you got in here … gold?” he teased.

Valeria laughed, knowing Felix would be flabbergasted at the truth.

He placed the bag on the ground, and they sat side by side on the garden bench under the arbor.

“Now, tell me what brings you to the monastery this beautiful morning.”

Valeria took a deep breath and decided to get right to the point. “I came to inquire if I might travel with you to Valais to see the Basilica that holds the remains of my beloved Mauritius.”

Felix raised his eyebrows, a look of surprise evident in his blue eyes. “Your mother would allow it?”

Valeria nodded. “She plans to stay at the priory for a few more weeks, and, truthfully, I have become deathly bored with all of the details of the fashions that we traveled to France to purchase.”

“Then you are different from most young girls.”

“
Au contraire
,” she declared, laughing. “I adore beautiful things, but too much of anything can grow tiring. Besides, traveling to Valais will provide a nice diversion for me. And
paying respects to Mauritius prior to my marriage would not only comfort me in my grief, but it will bring closure for me before I begin my life anew with General Galerius.”

“But surely your mother knows a journey to Switzerland can be extremely treacherous.” He studied her. “There is only one route from France to Valais, and it winds over and through the Alps.”

“Oh, I am quite accustomed to adventure. Have you not heard that I traveled the Nile?” She thought she sounded quite convincing, and could only hope and pray he would believe her story. She raised a questioning eyebrow. “Do you not want me to travel with you?”

He took her hands in his. “I should cherish your company, Valeria, but the sea is far different from the mountains. You were raised on the coast, so you are quite accustomed to sea travel. At sea, you have leagues of mariners to protect and navigate you safely over the most treacherous waters and to guide you through the eye of the perilous storm. But the Alps are teeming with danger—wild animals, avalanches, and thieves, to name a few.”

“I am prepared to take those risks, for I know that our Father in heaven will protect me.”

He sat quietly for a moment before speaking again. “I am traveling with only two servants and a companion, but perhaps this is not an issue since dozens of your servants will certainly accompany us.”

Valeria ignored his comment and tried to elicit his commitment. “So I have your permission to accompany you to Valais?”

“It will all depend on how many of your servants will come along and if any of them have mountain-climbing experience.”

It was an appropriate concern and one that Valeria knew she must overcome to enlist Felix’s help. She sighed, resigned to the truth. “To be honest, I did not plan on bringing any of my servants or even my companion on the trip.”

He cocked his head. “I thought so. Your mother does not know you are here, does she?”

Valeria blushed.

“I suspected as much. If your mother were behind this trip, she would have sent a messenger to make this request. Are you running away, Valeria?”

With no reason to continue her charade, Valeria nodded and tried a second approach.

“You must know that my father has ordered me to marry Galerius, the general who was instrumental in Mauritius’ death.” Tears spilled from her eyes, but she had no handkerchief because every one she owned was in her bag, filled with gold coins. She was grateful when Felix dug into his pocket and came up with one of his own and offered it to her.

Dabbing at her eyes, Valeria sobbed, “I think it is too much to expect me to marry that monster.”

“Ah, I have met him, but I have faith in you … and in God that you can melt Galerius’ evil heart.” With compassion written on his face, Felix put his arm around Valeria’s waist. “It seems unconscionable to me that you should be consigned to such a fate, but at the same time, I know you can trust God. He wants only what is best for us, according to His plan.”

“But how can a loving God condemn me to something so terrible?”

“I have no answer for your question, but if it is not God’s perfect will for you, He will intervene in a miraculous way. It is exciting to wait and see what God will do on your behalf.”

Valeria shook her head. “I have prayed about the matter since my father told me I must marry Galerius. When Mother
told me we were coming to France, I believed God wanted me to join the followers of Saint Mary Magdalene.”

“That is certainly a viable solution.”

“I thought so, but Sister Mary Therese does not agree.” “Did she say why?”

“Only that God had a far greater purpose for me.”

“This is what Mauritius believed, and knowing God’s nature, I must admit I believe it too. The end of your story has not yet been written.”

Frustrated that none of her schemes was working, Valeria buried her head in the young man’s chest and pleaded for mercy. “You must help me. I cannot bear to become the wife of such a horrible pagan.”

Just as Valeria had hoped, when she looked up, Felix’s eyes had filled with tears. She lowered her head once again and wept, as he held her in his arms and gently stroked her hair. After a moment, he lifted her chin, gazed into her eyes, and brushed a strand of hair away from her face. Valeria was sure that he was about to kiss her, but when she moved closer, he turned away. To her surprise, she was disappointed. Her attraction to him alarmed her! Perhaps was it because when she was with him she felt closer to Mauritius, since Felix was the last person to have seen him and touched him. Yes, of course; that explained it.

“There is no man who could resist you,” he said, his voice husky.

“Except you?”

“Including me.”

She touched his arm. “Please take me away with you. We could be married, and—”

He released her and stood to his feet. “Have you forgotten that your father is the Roman emperor? Do you think he
would not search to the ends of the earth to find us and bring you back home and then brutally execute me?”

Valeria knew marriage to Felix was her last hope, so she had to give the performance of her lifetime. Jumping up, she pleaded, “Felix, when I saw you in Marseilles, I knew God meant for us to be together. I can make you happy. I promise you that I will be the best wife on this earth.”

“And I do not doubt for a moment that you would be a good wife. But we are Christians, so you must understand that I cannot support any decision that would go against your parents’ wishes. I am sorry, but it is just not possible without their permission.”

“But you were a friend of Mauritius’. Surely you must know that he would want you to rescue me from this horrible fate.”

“Mauritius would insist that you honor your parents and trust God in all circumstances. He would never condone your disobedience. All I can offer is to pray for you.”

“But with Galerius, my life is in danger. Consider that you would be saving my life,” Valeria pleaded.

“Even if I agreed to take you with me, we would not get far. I am not afraid to die, but they would execute me, and I cannot say what would happen to you. You are the daughter of the emperor, so your life is not your own. The man you marry is your parents’ decision, and they have spoken. I know you can make a life for yourself if you will just die to yourself and allow God’s plan to unfold. I am confident that if you could speak to Mauritius at this very moment, he would tell you the same thing.”

Valeria paused, her heart sinking at the implications. “Then this is goodbye?”

He squeezed her hand. “I will pray for you … every day I am on this earth. You have my word.”

She swallowed. So this was God’s answer. Her options were gone. “And I shall pray for you,” she whispered at last.

He reached up and touched her face with such tenderness that Valeria trembled.

“Please,” she said softly, as she blinked away tears.

He shook his head. “Your faithfulness will change the world, Valeria.”

“So I have been told, though I cannot imagine how.”

Felix kissed her forehead. At last she stood to her feet, accepting that her struggle had come to an end and she would somehow do what was required of her. Stealing one last look at Felix, she blew him a sad kiss and hurried out the gate.