Unforgiving Temper (28 page)

Jane was mortified at her mother's effusive
liveliness, but Mr. Bingley seemed not to notice.

“I am happy to hear that,” he answered. “I
shall ask Mr. Bennet if he is willing to show me the spot as
soon as he recovers.”

“Oh, no! You must try it out now, for the
season is at its peak. It is not known when Mr. Bennet will
recover enough for such an outing. Jane and Kitty can show you the
way. It is a charming spot on the river just before it turns toward
the village.”

“I would not want to inconvenience the
ladies,” Bingley stammered.

“Nonsense! They would love an outing on such
a lovely day. Right, girls?”

“Mama,” her mother's transparent maneuvers
brought a deeper color to Jane's cheeks, “perhaps Mr. Bingley
does not have the time for such an endeavor.”

“Oh, but I do!” Bingley replied quickly,
holding Jane's embarrassed gaze. “As a matter of fact, I have all
afternoon.”

Jane looked to her mother and saw her beaming
with the satisfaction of a job well done. She could do nothing but
agree to the outing. It only took a few minutes for Jane and Kitty
to retrieve their bonnets, and then their mother was joyfully
waving them off at the front door.

The party left the gates of Longbourn and
traveled along the lane toward Meryton at a leisurely pace. After
nearly ten minutes, Bingley began to despair of having any
opportunity to speak with Jane privately. The time had been passed
in stilted conversation as Kitty commented on the weather and other
trivial subjects while he and Jane offered what little observations
they could bring to mind.

Things improved, however, when they left the
lane and turned toward the river, following a path which divided
Longbourn's lands from those of Lucas Lodge. Kitty begged leave to
visit Maria Lucas. When Jane hesitated a moment too long, Kitty
hurried off across the field before she could be told no. Looking
to Mr. Bingley with a nervous smile, Jane slowly walked on in
silence.

“Miss Bennet,” Bingley began. “I know
this is a difficult time for you and your family.”

“So you
have
heard the rumors.”

“Yes, I am afraid there are few in the
neighborhood who have not.”

He pulled idly at the leaves of a nearby
shrub as they walked on silently, considering what might be going
through her head.

“And you came anyway?” Jane commented
quietly.

“Of course I came. This does not change
anything.”

“But it does!” Jane's arms stiffened at her
sides. “Mr. Bingley, this changes everything, and you know
it.”

“Miss Bennet, please do not listen to
idle gossip. I do not.”

“It does not appear to be idle,” Jane
whispered. “As much as it pains me to say it, I fear what little
hope there was for us is now gone.”

“You cannot mean that! We can get past this.
I can help, if you will only let me.”

“And how will you help?” Jane turned to him
in heated anguish, the pent up emotions of the past days finding a
crack in her reserve. “Can you bring Lizzy home and wipe away her
shame? Can you turn back time and prevent her ever leaving? No,
there is nothing you can do.”

“Yes, there is,” Bingley's words rushed out
before he could stop them. “I can marry you!”

Jane froze in her steps and Bingley turned to
her with an embarrassed smile.

“This is not quite how I pictured I would say
it, but, dearest Jane, will you marry me?”

With great effort, Jane managed to stay
standing. Her heart pounding wildly as simultaneous waves of joy
and doubt coursed through her body.

She felt the joy, blossoming into a
beautiful, exquisite vision she feared to embrace. Was it real? For
months she had hoped and prayed for just such a proposal from this
man standing before her. Words she had heard in her dreams a
thousand times had finally been uttered, and all the imaginings of
her heart she had thought forever lost were now within reach. All
she had to do was stretch her hand out and take it. All she had to
do was say “yes.”

For one glorious moment she stood poised on
the brink, ready to step into his arms and the safety she knew she
would find there. She could at last be shielded from all the
troubles that had turned her world upside down.

But a thin, cold mist of reason slowly seeped
into her mind, swirling around the happiness, obscuring the vision.
Try as she might, she could not push away the realities that crowed
in. Last November, she would have joyfully accepted
Mr. Bingley's proposal; but then the circumstances were so
very different. Her father's poor health and the threatened loss of
their estate were ills enough, but now the destruction of their
reputation loomed over everything, ready to descend and destroy the
lives of all it touched.

She knew the Bingleys' newly found status in
society was still very fragile. Many would never forget that their
wealth came from trade. Connecting himself to her family and their
disgrace would certainly separate him from any polite society.
Bingley's friends would be forced to abandon him – even the Hursts
would be unable to receive them. And as for Caroline – any hopes of
her securing an advantageous marriage would be dashed as well. She
would remain forever a bitter spinster in their home, resenting
Jane as the destroyer of all her hopes. Jane could not ruin the
lives of so many. She could not be so selfish.

Doubt now rose from the depths of her mind,
shrouding the memories in uncertainty. If his affections had not
been strong enough last November, when he had been so easily
persuaded against her for reasons much less significant than her
present circumstances, then how long would it be before his love
grew cold in the face of such opposition as he would face were she
to accept him now? And was it even affection that moved him to
propose? He made no declarations of love. He spoke only of helping
– not of love. Doubt and reason at last intertwined into a thick,
suffocating vapor, slowly extinguishing her joy completely.

With one last look at the destiny that could
have been hers, she stepped back from the brink. Fighting the sob
that ached in her throat, Jane gave him an answer. “No,
Mr. Bingley. I will not marry you.”

Bingley was dumbfounded. “Why?”

“Because I will not have you marry me out of
pity nor would I have you and your sister partake of our
disgrace.”

“It is not out of pity and you well know it!”
Now he was angry. “And as far as my family is concerned, I am an
independent man and able to make my own choices. My sisters will
have to live with my decisions.” His voice softened and he took her
hand. “Darcy and I will find Miss Elizabeth. Marry me and when
she does come home, we shall embrace her. The gossip will
eventually be forgotten and we will bring her back into
society.”

Jane slowly pulled her hand from his grasp.
“I am sorry, I cannot. You are a kind and gentle man, but you are
also impetuous, by your own admission. Your regard may very well
fade with time and circumstance. You would then undoubtedly regret
your rash decision and you would be left with nothing but feelings
of indifference for me. I could not live with that.”

She walked on, leaving Bingley to stare after
her. In two strides he was beside her again, his hand on her
arm.

“Jane…Miss Bennet…hear me out! You once
accused me of not being steadfast; and now when I am here
disproving any degree of unreliability, you reject me. If you would
just – ”

“I cannot…” Jane began, faltering as her
heart shattered within her at the words she had to speak, “I cannot
give you the answer you seek. Please, I beg you; do not make this
any harder for the both of us!”

He didn't. They walked side by side in
silence for a time.

“Is there not anything I can do for you?” he
asked softly.

Jane chewed on her lip before answering. “I
still would very much like to find Lizzy. Of course, I will
understand if you have changed your mind.”

Grasping desperately at the one slender
thread that would keep him bound to Jane, Charles replied, “I have
not changed my mind in the least! We will find her. I promise you
that.”

* * * *

An astounded Darcy stared at Georgiana in
disbelief, the fatigue of his recent journey vanishing in an
instant. Her urgent message calling him back from Brighton had in
no way prepared him for what she had just related.

“Georgiana, what you are saying is absurd!
There is some mistake.”

“No, Fitzwilliam,” she replied quietly, but
firmly.

“Are you quite certain? There are any number
of young women in Hertfordshire who...”

“Yes, quite certain. I asked Mr. Bingley
to look into it before I sent my letter.”

Darcy spun around to look out the window so
that Georgiana would not see the panic in his eyes. It was not
possible! Not Elizabeth! This was some horrific nightmare from
which he would soon awake. It had to be. Feeling Georgiana behind
him, he drew a steadying breath.

“I am sorry,” Georgiana whispered as she
gently touched his arm.

“And what has been done?”

“Mr. Bingley tried most valiantly to
contain it, but the gossip spread so quickly, it was impossible.
Miss Bennet and her family are feeling the effects already.
Can they be helped?”

“I do not know. I will have to talk to
Bingley,” Darcy breathed evenly through clenched teeth, “but if
there is any way to disprove it, I shall see it done if it is the
last thing I do.”

“I hope you can, dear brother.
Miss Bennet's family has suffered so much in the past weeks
and is in great need of any support we can offer.”

Darcy gave her hand a reassuring squeeze.

“I shall do my best, I promise. Be off with
you now while I make myself presentable. Bingley is due back from
Longbourn soon and I want to talk with him before dinner.”

Darcy bent his cheek for her kiss and then
gently ushered her out, drawing a troubled breath as he closed the
door and leaned against it. He was still trying to take in what
Georgiana had said when Denham emerged from the dressing room.
Keeping his eye on his valet, he shrugged away from the door and
moved across the room. He knew the quiet, efficient man to be a
very reliable source for any information to be had in any given
household.

“You bath is ready, sir.”

“Denham, have you been told the rumors
concerning Miss Elizabeth Bennet?”

“Yes, sir.”

Darcy was not surprised. Bad news always
travels fast, somehow much faster than any good news, he thought
acidly. “And?”

“Sir?”

“And what exactly are they saying below
stairs? I am certain you have a much less polished version than was
told my sister.”

“Yes, sir. I believe so.”

“I want to hear it. All of it.”

“Now, sir? Shall you wait to bathe?”

“No, I need to wash the road off before I see
Bingley; but you will give me all the details while I am at
it.”

Quickly Darcy shed his dust-laden clothes and
stepped into the polished copper tub, exhaling deeply as the first
ewer of cool, clear water was poured over his lowered head. Without
looking up, he motioned for another drenching and then another. As
heated water was neither necessary nor wanted in the heat of
summer, Denham was able to maintain a more or less steady flow for
his master.

Feeling the waves of water course down his
back, Darcy wished the agony of the news he had received on his
return to Netherfield could be washed away as easily as the dirt
and sweat of his journey. At length, he straightened. He was
reluctant to add to the pain already stabbing at his heart, yet
driven by the need to have any detail that might help save
Elizabeth. With an unreadable expression, he finally looked up and
wiped the last rivulets of water from his face.

“Tell me.”

Denham smoothly began his report as he
continued in his duties.

“One of the house maids returned from the
village with the story. It spread through most of the staff before
Mrs. Middleton could put a stop to it. She informed Mr. Wilson, who
then informed Mr. Bingley. I believe Miss Darcy overheard
some talk after church services and insisted Alice tell her what it
was about.”

“From whom, exactly, did it originate? How is
it possible that everyone has jumped to this outrageous conclusion
so quickly?”

“Mr. Bingley sent Mr. Wilson to dispel
the rumors as soon as he learned of them, but unfortunately it was
too late. It all started with a guest at the inn, sir. It seems a
woman arrived in Meryton the same day we left for Brighton. She was
rather fussy and very particular about her accommodations. In fact,
she insisted the bed be made up with fresh linens in her presence.
Put the chambermaid right off as she had just changed the bedding
that morning and had to do it all over again.”

“Denham – ”

“Sorry, sir. While the maid was attending to
the linens, the woman kept talking to her, warning the girl about
how a young lady should always take care to guard her virtue.
Saying it was a very fragile thing that, once lost, could never be
recovered. She let the maid know the advice was given on good
authority for she observed the results of many a girl's poor
choices every day in her position.”

“Did Wilson confront this woman? What is her
position?” Darcy asked impatiently.

“The woman had already gone by the time Mr.
Wilson was sent, but he did question the girl. As she was leaving
the room, the maid observed the woman shuffling some papers about
on the desk and muttering something about having the heavy
responsibility of dealing with the families, relating heartbreaking
news, finding out the circumstances; that sort of thing.”

“Is that all?”

“No, sir. The girl showed him a pamphlet she
found in the room after the woman had gone.”