Unforgiving Temper (51 page)

She could barely think on the injustice she
had done him in refusing to acknowledge any goodness, willfully
ignoring the excellence of his person, character, and
circumstances. Instead, she had privately and openly accused
Mr. Darcy of immoral, irreligious, and shameful conduct
without making the slightest effort to confirm Mr. Wickham's
villainous accusations.

Mr. Darcy's subsequent kindness to her,
in expending such great efforts to find her, and to save her virtue
and possibly her life, made these revelations inexpressibly
painful; and the discovery of her foolishness was not only
mortifying, but increasingly the source of the greatest regret she
had ever suffered in the course of her life. To think that such a
man had actually offered her marriage – and that she had answered
him with anger and scorn!

During the endlessly long nights, she had
shed many bitter tears of vexation, shame, and remorse at the
realization that her prejudice had utterly ruined her greatest
chance for happiness. Having now witnessed all her foolishness and
misjudgments, Mr. Darcy could only be feeling a sense of the
greatest relief at having escaped such a connection! Now, when
there seemed so little hope, she was sure she could have loved him;
that she could have had the happiness she always hoped for.

“Your aunt has talked with
Dr. Lawrence,” Georgiana quietly broke into her thoughts. “She
said that you may be ready to leave us in the next day or two.”

“Yes. I have disrupted your household long
enough. Your brother will be glad to have his house to himself once
again, I think.”

“Oh, I do not think so! He often talked of
you, you know, even before you came to Burnham House; and he does
not say it, but I believe he is very happy to have you here – as am
I. It was so wonderful to have finally made your acquaintance.”

A tiny thrill of pleasure raced through
Elizabeth. “I hope you were not too disappointed.”

“Not at all! Fitzwilliam always spoke so
highly of you, and now I understand why. Can you not stay with us a
little longer?”

Elizabeth smiled ruefully at her new friend.
“I thank you, but my family is anxious to see me and I them. My
aunt visited again today and is quite impatient for
Dr. Lawrence to pronounce me able to travel to Gracechurch
Street.”

The murky recollections of her aunt and
uncle's worried expressions during the first few days of her
convalescence came to mind. Tears had fallen all around when she
was finally well enough for a visit that included news of home and
her father's progress. He had wanted to come, but his improvement
was not so much as would allow the long journey into town. More
news of home came every day with Aunt Gardiner's visits and Lydia's
letters had not been mentioned once. Perhaps there was still time
to find a way to retrieve them.

“I like your aunt very much,” offered
Georgiana, bringing her back to the conversation. “Your uncle seems
a good man as well. I cannot blame him for being so cross at first.
You were so ill and he had only Fitzwilliam's urgent note, which
said very little.”

“Yes, my uncle was beside himself with worry;
but once Mr. Darcy had the opportunity to explain everything
in full, he was very understanding.” Elizabeth paused as a new
thought sprang to her mind. “As a matter of fact, it seems my uncle
is much more accepting of the situation than I expected. He has not
said one word to me on the subject of Lord Grissholm's
behavior. Very strange for my uncle, which makes me wonder exactly
what was told him.”

“Oh, I am certain Fitzwilliam explained it
fully.” Georgiana's assurance was marked with an odd, half-hearted
smile. “I suppose men know best how to deal with these kinds of
things.”

“Georgiana, is something wrong?”

“Why, no – nothing at all!” Her reassuring
expression was not at all convincing.

“Yes, there is. What is it?” Elizabeth waited
while Georgiana fidgeted and then she noticed Molly's sudden
attentiveness to the articles on the dressing table. “Molly? There
is something the two of you are not telling me. What is it?”

The maid hurriedly scooped up the small pile
of linens at her feet and started toward the dressing room.

“Oh, no. You stay right there!”

The girl stopped in her tracks, but did not
turn. “I really must get these things downstairs. They'll be
waitin' for them.”

“They shall just have to wait. You are not
leaving until I find out what it going on here.”

Molly turned to face Elizabeth, her
expression torn by worry and fear. “I can't, Miss. I promised.”

The thrill rippled through her again, this
time motivated by a rising panic. “Georgiana?”

“Please do not excite yourself, Elizabeth.
The doctor said you must stay calm. It is nothing, really.”

“Tell me what it is and I will decide if it
is nothing or not.”

“Oh, Elizabeth, please do not ask.
Fitzwilliam made me promise not to say a word. Tomorrow,
if…
when
he returns, I am certain he will tell you
himself.”

“
IF
he returns?! From where? Surely
you can tell me that.”

“No, I cannot. I am sorry, truly I am, but
you must put it out of your mind. Let us finish our tea, shall we?
You will want all your strength for the doctor's visit this
evening.”

“No, I think not,” Elizabeth answered
tenaciously, sitting back from her tray and folding her arms. “I
shall not do another thing until you tell me what is going on here.
Judging from the looks on your faces, it has something to do with
me, and I intend to find out what it is.”

Georgiana avoided Elizabeth's piercing gaze,
looking to Molly for help.

“I am waiting.”

“Miss Bennet, you wouldn't want
Miss Darcy to disappoint her brother, would you? It's hard
enough without you forcing her to break her promise.”

“I am sorry to be the cause of so much
distress, but this obviously concerns me as well. Do you not think
I have a right to know?” Tears were beginning to pool in
Georgiana's eyes, and Elizabeth reached out to gently touch the
girl's hand. “I should like to share your burden, if you will let
me. Please, Georgiana, will you tell me?”

She had finally breached the girl's defenses.
Huge, glistening tears welled up and cascaded down Georgiana's
cheeks. “Oh, Elizabeth! It is as I feared after I heard Fitzwilliam
and your uncle talking. He is going to fight Lord Grissholm!
Richard says he will be all right, but I am so afraid. The law
forbids it, and even if they are not discovered, there is always a
chance that something may go wrong.”

“A duel!?” Elizabeth was stunned. In a matter
of seconds, her astonishment turned to worry and then to anger. “I
will not allow it! What is he thinking? And Uncle Gardiner! This is
ridiculous! Molly, get my clothes!” Elizabeth drew back the covers
and began climbing out of bed, biting back a gasp at her too-sudden
movement.

A look of surprised horror hit Georgiana and
Molly at the same time. “No!” Georgiana cried. “You cannot! Please
lie down. Elizabeth, you are not well enough!”

“I am well enough to stop this madness. Your
brother will not endanger his life and ruin yours because of me.
Molly, my clothes – now!”

“Oh, please, Elizabeth! Get back into bed.
Fitzwilliam will never forgive me if you are hurt!”

“And I will never forgive myself if
he
is!”

* * * *

“Grissholm's choice of swords was expected. I
have seen him at work,” Darcy said grimly. “It may not be the
fashion these days, but he ranks expert with the small sword at
Angelo's.”

“Have you had occasion to face him before?”
The worry on Richard's face was not helping matters.

“Not since our Cambridge days.”

“And were you able to best him?”

Darcy hesitated, taking another sip from his
glass. “On occasion,” he said at last. Seeing Richard wince, he
quickly added, “but that is not to say I cannot do better now. I
doubt he has maintained his former level of mastery.”

“He chose swords instead of pistols. He must
still be confident that he can defeat you. How can you be sure he
has not kept in practice?”

“I cannot, but we can hope. I am glad of the
choice in any case. A bullet is too quick for him. I intend to see
that he suffers for what he has done.”

“You will not be satisfied if you take first
blood, then?”

“No. No matter which of us takes the
advantage, I will not be satisfied until he draws his last
breath.”

“Have you considered the consequences if you
are discovered or if it should not go well?”

“I do not plan on that happening, but if it
does then you shall have full responsibility for Georgiana. I have
made arrangements that will allow you a comfortable living outside
the service for as long as she needs you.”

“That will be little comfort to Georgie, and
you know it.”

“It is the best I can do.”

Darcy's love for both Elizabeth and Georgiana
tore at his heart. He could not satisfy his duty to one without
sacrificing the other; but the agony of his choice was tempered by
the knowledge that Georgiana would one day find a man to love as
much as he did Elizabeth. He had faith that she would someday
understand.

The heavy silence that rose between the two
cousins was suddenly broken by a light knock on the door.

“Come!” Darcy commanded as he took up his
glass and finished off the contents, swallowing hard when he saw
Elizabeth slowly enter the room. She was alarmingly pale and had a
firm grip on Georgiana's arm, looking in every way a contradiction
to the doctor's reports of her steady improvement.

In spite of her appearance, however, the
determined lift of her chin warned of coming trouble. Whatever it
was, she was in no condition to be downstairs, and he took a
determined stance of his own.

“Miss Bennet! You should be in your bed!
Georgiana, what are you doing?”

“Do not blame your sister, sir. I would have
come with or without her help. I have just heard the most alarming
report and would not rest until I had the truth.”

“Hello, Georgie,” Richard bowed to the
ladies. He sensed the coming battle as well and tried his best to
lighten the mood. “You must forgive my cousin's appalling manners,
Miss Bennet. I do hope you are feeling better.”

“Thank you, Colonel. I am feeling well
enough. Mr. Darcy, I have come to hear you contradict the
report of an illegal duel between you and Lord Grissholm.”

Georgiana looked crestfallen, unable to meet
her brother's eyes. “Georgie, dear,” Richard continued as if
Elizabeth had done nothing more than comment on the weather. “Did
you not promise to play that new composition for me before I left?
I think now would be the perfect time. I shall say my good-byes,
Miss Bennet. I am very happy to see you much improved.”

Darcy stared at his cousin's blatant
desertion and groaned inwardly when his sister joined in the mutiny
by gently depositing Elizabeth in a chair near the fire.

“Will you be all right, Elizabeth? I can stay
if you would like.”

“Thank you, no, Georgiana. I would not keep
you from the Colonel. I can manage until your return.”

Briefly meeting her brother's narrow look,
Georgiana took Richard's outstretched arm and hurried out of the
room. Darcy followed every step of their traitorous departure with
the feel of Elizabeth's expectant gaze on his back. When the door
shut solidly behind them, he drew a deep breath in anticipation of
the coming battle. He knew she was determined, but he was even more
so and would not be deterred from vindicating her honor.
Straightening to his full height, he turned to face her.

“Miss Bennet, it is unfortunate that you
have learned of this affair. It was my express wish that you
not
know.”

“You cannot blame Georgiana. She did her best
to conceal it, but when I realized there was something wrong, I
insisted on knowing. I was quite determined.”

“I can well imagine. Poor Georgiana. Still,
she should not have broken her promise.”

“You should not have imposed it upon her. You
placed a very great burden on her young shoulders. She is terribly
worried for you, as well she should be. That is why I cannot allow
you to risk your future and hers for my sake.”

“I appreciate your concern, Miss Bennet,
but it is now a matter of honor between Grissholm and myself.”

“Mr. Darcy,” she drew a shaky breath. “I
wish now that I had never involved you in my troubles. Whatever
Lord Grissholm did…whatever happened to me…was a result of my
own folly. Do not be so reckless as to add your own to it.”

“This is unbelievable! How can you consider
any of this to be your fault! If anything, it is mine! I knew what
kind of a man Grissholm was and I failed to act accordingly. If I
had done something sooner, you would not have suffered as you did.
Society will not hold him accountable for his atrocities against
you, but I shall – I must!”

Elizabeth struggled unsuccessfully to keep
the blush from her cheeks. “I have been told of his dishonorable
conduct, and mercifully my memories are not entirely clear. My
physical wounds will heal soon enough and I shall return to
Hertfordshire and my family. What will happen to your sister if you
do not return tomorrow? She is sixteen and has already suffered the
loss of a mother and father. I cannot be responsible for the loss
of her brother as well. That is a wound that would never heal.”

“Do not mourn me just yet, Miss Bennet.
There is a very good chance I may defeat Grissholm, you know.”

“Do not jest with me, sir!” she cried,
angrily. “You are risking everything for something I cannot even
remember!”

“But I do!” he answered fiercely. “I shall
never forget what he did as long as I live!”

“Which may not be long if you persist in this
madness!”