Unfaithful Ties (26 page)

“Look at your little punk ass” Malik chuckled. “And this is the man that you claim you’re going to marry! Good luck because you’re going to need it.” He smirked. “From now on stay the hell away from my daughter. And don’t come crawling back when you find out that she’s telling the truth
.”

chapter 18

Stacy...Chicago Illinois

After Harold’s, excuse me,
Khyle’s lies caught up with him I basically cut myself off from the world. My ringer has been off for weeks. I haven’t logged into Facebook or checked my emails in I don’t know how long. I'm sure that my girlfriends have been worrying sick about me but I really don’t feel like talking to anyone. I’m not in the mood.  I'm so pissed with that lying bastard that I don't know what to do. If I could get away with murder I swear I'd kill his smug ass. What possesses a man to do something like this to a woman? I'm sick and tired of men. Them and their whorish behavior. Particularly black men, because that's the only race I've ever dated. But that's about to change. I'm near the point of screaming "To hell with black men to the top of my lungs" A decent black man seems to be extinct anyway. Maybe I should expand my preferences when it comes to the men I choose. Just because I'm a black woman doesn't mean that I should limit myself to only a black man. "Shit" black men date outside of the black race all the time. Why is it so wrong when sistahs do it? Besides it's some fine ass white men that love them some black women here in Chicago.

I was unaware of the flimflam that Harold
's/Khyle’s scheming, disloyal, ass was pulling on me. His fake charisma completely blinded me. In fact I was so blind that I didn't notice the phoniness that was staring me directly in the face. There I was thinking that he and I had something good going. Something special. And that bastard was playing me. And with a man at that! I don't mean to carry on as if he's the last man on earth, but it's the principal of the giving situation. There are certain things that you just shouldn't do to a person. Is it me or do most men not have a conscience?

Harold's, excuse me,
Khyle’s, whatever his damn name is failure to mention his choice of sexuality stirs up this awkward sense of insecurity inside of me. It's new to me, something that I've never felt before. There is something about discerning the fact that the man you've been involved with has been cheating on you with a man. It makes you feel unattractive, unwanted, and less desirable. Damn I hate feeling like this.

Maybe I was a fool? It is possible. I think that I rushed things. That I got a little bit to enthused about the possibility of finally finding
Mr. Right.
He was a successful, attractive man with a big dick. What more can a woman ask for? I'll tell you what a woman doesn't ask for and that’s a man with the complete package that secretly sleeps around with other men.

It turned out that he was a thirty seven year old
hardhearted, insensitive asshole living on the downlow, and that's to say the least. How could I have been so stupid?  Every time I think about him it makes me want to puke.

Last night I got to thinking. Maybe I should've put my physical needs aside and maybe Kelvin and I could
have had something good. Who am I kidding? There is no way in hell that we would have worked out. Still, those are usually the type of thoughts that race through my mind when I’m lonely. Or when I feel like my time is running out. Truthfully Kelvin was a good catch. Some women would probably call me a fool for letting him go. Especially the ones that don't care much about their physical needs. I just can't imagine myself settling for a man that can't satisfy me sexually. Surely he's probably a pro with his tongue but even that gets old. Sometimes you want a man to give it to you so good that you won’t need sex for an entire month.  “Shit” I need me a straight-up Mandingo.

Today I’m exasperated. My office looks like a tornado just passed through it and I'm sure that my voicemail box is full. I need a vacation.

"Knock Knock"

Without taking my eyes off the file I've been studying since I walked through the door this morning I say
, "Come on in"

"Good morning" Pam Hicks, my assistant says walking into my office carrying my morning latte. She sets the cup of steaming coffee on my desk, then walks over to the window and opens the blinds.

“What’s up with you? You haven’t been smiling in days. That’s uncharacteristic of the new you” She says.

“I’m not in the smiling mood”

“Something going on with you and Harold?”

“Harold…
Khyle, whatever the hell his name is. He and I are over”

“I don’t believe you”

“What reason do I have to lie?”

“Well what happened?”

“Let’s just say that he doesn’t quite understand that his hole is an exit not an entrance”

“He’s gay?”

“As gay as they come”

“Damn. He could have fooled me.”

“If you think that he had you fooled imagine how I feel”

“I can’t even begin to imagine something like that. How did you find out?”

“Trust me you don’t want to know”

“Girlfriend I’m listening” She says and flops down into the chair directly in front of my desk.

“To make a long story short we were about to have sex when his overly attractive male lover came home”

“And did what?”

“Girl, he went off on Harold’s ass”

“Yuck, I think that I just threw up in my mouth. That’s humiliating. Good thing that you hadn’t given him a
ny. You hadn’t given him any had you?”

“No. But it was close”

"I definitely want to change the subject. On to what you pay me to do.” Pam says. “Your mailbox is full"

"I'm sure it is I haven't had time to check my messages
. Been busy and I really don’t want to be bothered with anyone else’s issues”

"Well your two o'clock court appearance has been canceled until next week."

"That's great, I could use a little bit more time with that case"

"And also Lena and some guy named Malik has been calling and calling."

I feel my left brow moving upward. "Malik who?"

"Malik Shaw. He says that he needs for you to
call him, it's urgent" Pam says ripping a piece of paper out of her pad. “What’s that look for?”

“What look?”

“That look on your face” She says and hands me Malik’s number.

“I can’t believe that he has the audacity to call me after all of these years.”

“Let me guess he’s an ex-boyfriend?”

“A lying, sneaky, cheating ex-boyfriend that broke my heart into a million little pieces.”

“Well maybe he’s calling to apologize”

“Well maybe he shouldn’t” I say. “It’s a little too late for that.”

“I don’t agree with you. I think that an apology from him is just what you need”

“I disagree. The last thing that I need from that cheating bastard is a freaking apology.”

“Stacy I’ve been your assistant for what? Three years?”

“That sounds about right”

“And I’d say that we’ve gotten pretty close. You’re more of a friend than a boss. So as a friend I’m going to be honest” She said and got up out of the chair “You need a man”

“What does Malik have
to do with me finding a man?”

“A lot. For three years I’ve listened to you complain about not being able to find a man. And how depressing it is to have that part of your life incomplete.”

“What’s your point?”

“My point is, maybe if you forgive Malik you’ll allow yourself to truly love someone else. You’ll never be able to
love another man even if God were to put the perfect man in your life because you’re carrying around hate in your heart. Let’s face it girl, judging from your body language today, you need to get laid. And the rate you’re going it’s not going to happen”

“Even if you were right. And you’re wrong by the way. I would never know because I’m never going to forgive that cheating asshole.”

“Well, I’ve tried to help you.”

“And I appreciate the gesture but help me by going to make me a few copies of this file” I say and hand her a folder.

She walks towards the office door. “I can definitely do that” She says over her shoulder. “But promise me that you’ll at least think about it”

“I already did and it’s not going to happen”

****

I could really use an alcoholic beverage, straight, with no chaser. What in the hell could Malik possibly have to say to me after all of the years? Damn, I hate he has me like this. I’m pacing this office like a paranoid lunatic. I’m thinking hard. Contemplating whether or not I should call him.

Nope I’m not going to call him. I’ve moved on with my life. He and I have absolutely nothing to talk about. I ease back down into my chair and listen to my voicemail messages over the SPEAKER. When I hear Malik’s voice I feel a chill run through me. I’m shocked. I haven’t felt this way since.... damn, I haven’t felt this way since college. This is not fair.

No, no, no
...I’m not supposed to have these feelings. I’m over him. For years I’ve made myself believe that I hate him. He’s been dead to me.

Could I really forgive him? Should I forgive him? This is not fair...this is not fair...this is not fair. I hate to admit that maybe Lena is right. I must still have feelings for Malik. If not, why am I acting like this?

I couldn’t give him another chance. I couldn’t give him my heart all over again. He hurt me too bad. Too damn bad. I would be a complete bimbo if I risk letting him hurt me all over again.

Decade-old memories flash through my mind, moments that I thought I’d forgotten until now-the way we met, our prom, our first time, the first time I heard him say he loves me, late night phone conversations, the way my name sounds when only he says it, his unforgettable smile and enticing charm. This is torture. I’ve
gotta’ get out of this office. I grab my purse and coat. I don’t know where I’m going but I have to clear my head. I’ve got to get out of here.

“Should I just put these on your desk” Pam asks, as I walk by the copy room”

“Yes I’ll get them when I get back, I need to get out of the office for a little while”

I’m
patiently standing in line, behind a tall well-built man. He’s entering his pin into the ATM machine. He’s entered it five times already and the feeder still hasn’t spilled out any cash. When he types his pin in for the sixth time and pulls out another receipt without any cash I grow impatient. “Come on obviously you don’t have any money in your account” I say over his shoulder “Will you hurry up already?”

“Look lady today is not the day
” He says turning around “Stace?”

A chill rushes through me again, this time it has crawled up my spine. I’m hot all over. My heart is beating so hard I’m surprised I can’t hear it. I feel embarrassed...foolish even. My mouth won’t move.

“Stacy” he smiles.  “Are you okay?”

The ground may as well be quicksand
because I’m sure that I’m sinking. No other man has ever said my name sexier.

I can’t believe this shit. How can this man still be this damn sexy after all of these years
?  Get a grip on it Stacy; this is the man that ripped out your heart
. Why is he in Chicago? I hope he isn’t moving here. Chicago isn’t big enough. Just like we ran into each other today, it’s bound to happen again. Damn, damn, damn. I’ll just die if I run into him and Jennifer.

“Excuse me mam, are you going to use the ATM or not?” The old man behind me asks me rudely.

“I’m sorry sir, go ahead” I say and step to the side “Malik what are you doing here?”

“I’m here to pick up my daughter”

“Your daughter lives here and not you?”

“She and her mom moved here not that long ago”

Is Malik and Jennifer separated?
“Oh” I say.

“It’s complicated.” Malik says. “Did you get my message?”

“Not long ago I just haven’t had the chance to call you back yet. What’s so important?”

“You haven’t talk to Lena or Brandi”

“Not lately”

“Maybe we should go somewhere and sit down.”

“Why? What’s wrong? Has something terrible happened?”

“Vanessa’s been in an accident.”

“No” I weep and fall into Malik’s arms as if he’s my security blanket. When I realized that I’m letting him, the man I’m supposed to hate console me I pull away. “What happened?”

“Some man ran a traffic light. She’s okay now. Was in a coma, lost part of her memory. But for the most part she’s okay.
She has been released from the hospital and everything.”

“I’m glad to hear that” I say wiping my tears away. “I was scared there for a minute.”

“Jason wants everyone to come to New York for Thanksgiving. He thinks it will help her. Kenneth and Lena are leaving out today.  I’ll be leaving shortly. Might not hang around more than a day or two since I’ll have my daughter with me. Are you going to make it?”

“Yeah, I guess I’ll book a plane ticket tonight.”

“We’re both headed the same way, why don’t you ride with me? I was going to fly but something came up so I’m having to drive.”

“Me and you in the same vehicle for twelve hours is not a good idea”